Disclaimer: Great Supreme Ruler (also known as George Lucas...well...um.......duh! ^_^) owns Star Wars! He'd sue my ass and I don't think that would be to good....it's not like I sleep on a bed of dollar bills and if I did it'd be Monopoly money!! Yay!!
Author's notes: Ya, um........hi. ^_^ I wrote this story because lately alot of people have been telling me what I can't do and it's wearing me down.....I know I'm the raincloud on the parade. ^_^ Sorry, but that's just the story of how I thought this up! I was also inspired by a poem written by Shel Silverstein!
Listen to the Musn'ts (I don't think that's spelled right..hmm...)
Listen to the musn'ts, child
Listen to the don'ts
Listen to the shouldn'ts
The impossibles, the won'ts
Listen to the never haves
Then listen close to me
Anything can happen child
Anything can be
Dedicated to: All the people who have been told that they can't and have gone through trials and tribulations only to show that they can.....
A Moment In Time
Was I born a failure? Maybe. Or possibly instead of being born one I became one......I grew to become one? Most likely........
Life never has been all that great for me........well.........not really anyways........
Imagine, if you will, a young boy at the tender age of thirteen training to become a Jedi. "Thirteen?!," some may scoff. I hear them now.......the voices of so many thundering in my ears. Thirteen? Yes.....I was the oldest child in training awaiting to become the proud Padawan of a Jedi. I was always at the end of jokes. Childrens' eyes danced, their lips curled into a smirk and they pointed their fingers menacingly. One can only survive on the support of others for so long...........No one can imagine the fear that gripped my heart when a Jedi Master was said to be looking for his Padawan. I always tried so hard, SO hard to be my best in front of each and every one of them. Swinging the lightsaber wildly with sweat forming on my brow. Time after time my heart would shatter as they quickly strode past me to those more of their suiting. (usually younger than myself.......)
I remember the day Qui-Gon came and visited us. I simply didn't care about impressing anyone anymore. My new best was my old moderate. My heart screamed in severe frustration still, but I tried to push the feelings deep down inside of me. It was my last chance to fulfill my dream, my last chance. How I came to be the one Qui-Gon knew he was going to take on as his learner is beyond me. I can't see what that wonderful man saw in me. He often told me that, "It was the Force that brought us together." That I can somewhat believe, but what I truly think is that it was nothing but luck. Pure luck.
Qui-Gon. What a dear man, what a dear friend. He was like my father, my hero, unreachable role model and idol. I miss him terribly, horribly. At first I would turn to talk to him, only to find that he wasn't there. He wasn't there and it was all my fault. I wasn't there when he needed me the most. I stood by helplessly, watching his face contort in agonizing pain as the blade of our foe seared through his flesh and bone. I'm so sorry Master. I'm so..................sorry. I know it sounds cheap...fake even. However, I know no other way to sum up the gut wrenching, heart searing pain inside. I can only beg for your forgiveness.......Please Master................I'm sorry.....
I was deathly jealous of him, of Anakin....well......at first at least. It seemed that in a matter of days I was booted to the curb for him. Oh, how horrid it was for Qui-Gon's last words to be of him. Not me, not the one he had spent years with and loved like a son, but the young boy he had just me who was "the chosen one". His last words. You don't get a second chance to re-do those, once in a lifetime. How those few, little words will haunt me for the rest of my life. "Promise me.......promise me you'll train the boy...........,"
The council promoted me to Master and Anakin was to be my Padawan learner. Through our pain of Qui-Gon's passing.....we somehow grew together. Anakin was my best friend, just like a brother. We could talk about anything, him and I. I can't believe I didn't see his turning coming. I just.......can't. Why was I so blind?!? All warning signs of incorrect training were there..........as well as every sign of a bad Master.......every single one. I severely failed Anakin.
You know that's not all though. I also failed another dear friend, Amidala. She wanted for me to be able to help him. She wanted to help me to help him. Her eyes shone with hurt and betrayal when I had to tell her Ani had left for good. He had left for good and he wasn't coming back. The father of her two unborn children had fallen in love with something else, the Darkside of the Force. Anakin would never wrestle with the boy, never watch as the girl grew into a beautiful woman. My fault, that was my fault too. Why couldn't I break him free of the evil strongholds?! Did I honestly try hard enough though?! Did I?!?! Apparently not because Anakin is a puppet of the Darkside now.
However.....I believe even if your whole life can be chalked up as a failure that every person has their moment. The moment no one thinks will come........against all odds though....it will come. The moment when you shine as bright and beautiful as a star. The moment when something wonderful and magical called success occurs.......
I can feel that my time is in the future. How far? I haven't a clue. I can feel it though. I don't know what will happen. Will I possibly die happy knowing that there is still good in Ani and know that the pain of Ami and Qui-Gon were not in vain?? Maybe......but until it occurs I'll continue dreaming about my moment in time.......when against all odds....I'll be the bright, shining star.
Author's notes: Ya, um........hi. ^_^ I wrote this story because lately alot of people have been telling me what I can't do and it's wearing me down.....I know I'm the raincloud on the parade. ^_^ Sorry, but that's just the story of how I thought this up! I was also inspired by a poem written by Shel Silverstein!
Listen to the Musn'ts (I don't think that's spelled right..hmm...)
Listen to the musn'ts, child
Listen to the don'ts
Listen to the shouldn'ts
The impossibles, the won'ts
Listen to the never haves
Then listen close to me
Anything can happen child
Anything can be
Dedicated to: All the people who have been told that they can't and have gone through trials and tribulations only to show that they can.....
A Moment In Time
Was I born a failure? Maybe. Or possibly instead of being born one I became one......I grew to become one? Most likely........
Life never has been all that great for me........well.........not really anyways........
Imagine, if you will, a young boy at the tender age of thirteen training to become a Jedi. "Thirteen?!," some may scoff. I hear them now.......the voices of so many thundering in my ears. Thirteen? Yes.....I was the oldest child in training awaiting to become the proud Padawan of a Jedi. I was always at the end of jokes. Childrens' eyes danced, their lips curled into a smirk and they pointed their fingers menacingly. One can only survive on the support of others for so long...........No one can imagine the fear that gripped my heart when a Jedi Master was said to be looking for his Padawan. I always tried so hard, SO hard to be my best in front of each and every one of them. Swinging the lightsaber wildly with sweat forming on my brow. Time after time my heart would shatter as they quickly strode past me to those more of their suiting. (usually younger than myself.......)
I remember the day Qui-Gon came and visited us. I simply didn't care about impressing anyone anymore. My new best was my old moderate. My heart screamed in severe frustration still, but I tried to push the feelings deep down inside of me. It was my last chance to fulfill my dream, my last chance. How I came to be the one Qui-Gon knew he was going to take on as his learner is beyond me. I can't see what that wonderful man saw in me. He often told me that, "It was the Force that brought us together." That I can somewhat believe, but what I truly think is that it was nothing but luck. Pure luck.
Qui-Gon. What a dear man, what a dear friend. He was like my father, my hero, unreachable role model and idol. I miss him terribly, horribly. At first I would turn to talk to him, only to find that he wasn't there. He wasn't there and it was all my fault. I wasn't there when he needed me the most. I stood by helplessly, watching his face contort in agonizing pain as the blade of our foe seared through his flesh and bone. I'm so sorry Master. I'm so..................sorry. I know it sounds cheap...fake even. However, I know no other way to sum up the gut wrenching, heart searing pain inside. I can only beg for your forgiveness.......Please Master................I'm sorry.....
I was deathly jealous of him, of Anakin....well......at first at least. It seemed that in a matter of days I was booted to the curb for him. Oh, how horrid it was for Qui-Gon's last words to be of him. Not me, not the one he had spent years with and loved like a son, but the young boy he had just me who was "the chosen one". His last words. You don't get a second chance to re-do those, once in a lifetime. How those few, little words will haunt me for the rest of my life. "Promise me.......promise me you'll train the boy...........,"
The council promoted me to Master and Anakin was to be my Padawan learner. Through our pain of Qui-Gon's passing.....we somehow grew together. Anakin was my best friend, just like a brother. We could talk about anything, him and I. I can't believe I didn't see his turning coming. I just.......can't. Why was I so blind?!? All warning signs of incorrect training were there..........as well as every sign of a bad Master.......every single one. I severely failed Anakin.
You know that's not all though. I also failed another dear friend, Amidala. She wanted for me to be able to help him. She wanted to help me to help him. Her eyes shone with hurt and betrayal when I had to tell her Ani had left for good. He had left for good and he wasn't coming back. The father of her two unborn children had fallen in love with something else, the Darkside of the Force. Anakin would never wrestle with the boy, never watch as the girl grew into a beautiful woman. My fault, that was my fault too. Why couldn't I break him free of the evil strongholds?! Did I honestly try hard enough though?! Did I?!?! Apparently not because Anakin is a puppet of the Darkside now.
However.....I believe even if your whole life can be chalked up as a failure that every person has their moment. The moment no one thinks will come........against all odds though....it will come. The moment when you shine as bright and beautiful as a star. The moment when something wonderful and magical called success occurs.......
I can feel that my time is in the future. How far? I haven't a clue. I can feel it though. I don't know what will happen. Will I possibly die happy knowing that there is still good in Ani and know that the pain of Ami and Qui-Gon were not in vain?? Maybe......but until it occurs I'll continue dreaming about my moment in time.......when against all odds....I'll be the bright, shining star.