Eyes like black voids dance over me, looking from head to toe in a way that I've come to recognize as lazy appreciation. Two sets of eyelids blink as my hand- so dull in comparison to the vivid emeralds of his scales -brush against the open chest of his leathers.

"Siha," Thane begins, but I quickly cut him off.

"I'm used to it, don't worry." I give him a grin and a quick peck to his shoulder.

"How long?" The gravel of his voice is soothing and serious.

I've been having the nightmares every night, always grasping desperately at the hole in my suit, gasping for air that wasn't there. The fires of the Normandy didn't do anything to keep out the cold that instilled itself into my bones. Of course, I can't tell him that.

"Every now and then. Being spaced is certainly a memorable experience. Ten out of ten, would never do again." I tease to lighten the mood, but I can tell he sees right through me.

"Vecia, you can talk to me." His voice is soft and slow, like he's talking to someone fragile. I'm not fragile.

"Thane, I'm fine."

I know he doesn't believe me, the gentle tucking of a dark lock behind my ear is a tell all; it's something he does when he doesn't want to push me. I don't want him to worry, his mind needs to be clear for the mission ahead. Warm lips break my chain of thought and my eyes close on their own, head tilting into the kiss reflexively.

"You are too giving, too kind. It wouldn't burden me to hear your troubles."

For so long, I've had to keep it to myself. I'm Commander Vecia Shepard, I can't be weak. I grew up on the streets, I fought tooth and nail to get here, to be safe. Clutching tightly to him, his voice rumbles through me.

"I love you, let me be here for you, as you were for Kolyat and I."

I've always taken care of myself. I've provided my safety, my food, my shelter. I made it through N training with the grit of my teeth and the sweat of my back. I pulled together the most bad ass crew in the whole galaxy. A shaky breath is all my lungs can manage.

"Let me take care of you, Siha."

Take care of me? He doesn't even have much time left. How can I let him take care of me? How could I possibly burden him with my selfish problems? My nightmares are nothing compared to what he must be going through. Calloused fingers wipe the tears from my eyes.

"I'm not sure I know how."