Disclaimers: Erin Hunter owns all these cats… but I own Champagne Clan!! xD
Champagne Clan
Chapter 1
Firestar: NOW SHUUUSH!! THUNDERCLAAAAN!!
Thunder Clan: …
Firestar: Okay, go back to what you were doing, just testing (hehe)
Thunder Clan: -grumbles and pads away-
Jaypaw: Leafpool! Leafpool?
Leafpool: Whaddya want noow?!
Jaypaw: I want my Clan name… NOW!!
Leafpool: Fine Jaypaw, whatever
Jaypaw: Really, YAAAAAY!!
Leafpool: From this moment on, you shall be known as Jaydung. Star Clan honours you buggyness!
Jaydung: WHAT?! HEY!
-A flash of light appears, and every cat flinches-
Sleektail: NOOO!! DAMN YOU LEAFPOOL!! DON'T YOU DAAARE INSULT ME JAYPAW!!
Jaydung: DON'T DEFEND MEEEH!!
Leafpool: It's Jaydung.
Sleektail: Who writes this? You or me? HAAAA!! IT'S MEE!! Naaawwwwt you!!
-Makes Leafpool incapable of speaking for the rest of the chapter-
Leafpool: MMMMHH!! NNMMHH!!
Sleektail: Jay…dung is no longer your name, your Jaypaw again!
Jaypaw: B-b-but I had my real name…
Sleektail: Too bad, wait until Long Shadows for your real Clan name!
Jaypaw: Eh?
Sleektail disappears in a flash of… darkness.
Brambleclaw: ZOMG it's dark!! THE SUN'S DYIIIIIINN!! –screams girlyishyish and runs away.
Squirrelflight: Dude, you'z my mate!! Don't act like a chicken!!
Ashfur: Chicken, where? I loooove chicken! Yummmy!! Yaaaay!!
Ferncloud: Shadduup! I'm trying to –beeep- with Dustpelt here!!
Ashfur: Whatcha doing with Dustpelt, eh, eh, eh? All I heard was a beepy!!
Dustpelt: None-a your business. GO AWAY!!
Ashfur: M-m-meanie!! –cries and runs away-
-Light comes back-
Brambleclaw: ZOMG it's light!! THE SUN'S ALIIIIVE!! –screams girlyishyish and suddenly runs back into camp.
But poor Brambleclaw was wrong. The sun went out… again!!
Voice: DON'T scream, stupid!!
Firestar: Holly Cow!!
Hollypaw (I don't like calling her Hollyleaf): I'm not a cow!!
Firestar: Sorry, but I hate you Holly-annoying-thing
Hollypaw: Hey!! Your leader you must like everyone!! It's part of the Warrior Code, see, Page 52 906 590, paragraph 87, verse 2, line 1, in 10 words… OOOH!! SSEE! BUUURRRNN!! (I hate it when people say that!! –takes out big gigantic book and opens it up.-
Warrior Code: "A noble leader must always respect and adore its warriors"
Firestar: Newslflaaash!! I'm not noble. At. All.
Hollypaw: That's why I should be leader, and not you!
Voice: LISTEN TO ME YOU FOOLS!!
Graystripe: We're fools? Not warriors… y…y-y-y….YAAAAY!!
Suddenly, Spottedleaf appeared. She strode into camp, glaring at every cat she saw.
Spottedleaf: FIRESTAR! Star Clan wants you and some of your clan to come visit Champagne Clan!!
Daisy: Oh my, I heard those barn twolegs always yelling "CHAMPAGNE!! LETS GET DRUNK, YAAA, EH?!
Spottedleaf: Well, these cats are sophisticated than you mangy bunch!!
Berrynose: Mangy? I'm sorry, but I am the pertiest cat alive! –stares into puddle and sighs in content- I am so beautiful!
Honeyfern: Yes Berrynose, you are the perviest… I mean pertiest! The most pertiest cat eveer!! –drools after Berrynose-
Spottedleaf: Ahem!! As I was saying, Champagne Clan will see you! You will bring yourselves there by… this!
Spottedleaf lifted up one of her back legs. A yellow liquid poured out.
Toadkit: Whazzat, whazzat?
Lionpaw: It's pea, stupid!!
Rosekit: It's pee! Not pea!!
Icepaw: What's a pea?
Spottedleaf: It's not pea or pee, it will bring you to Champagne's Clan's home! DRINK UP!
Leafpool: MMHH! NNMMH!! MMMMM!!FFFFMMHFFF!!
Spottedleaf: Stop mmh-ing!! Its annoying!
Every cat seemed to run madly for the drink of… pee.
Ashfur burst into the clearing.
Ashfur: PEEEEEE!! MIIINE!!
At some point there was only a few drops left. Almost every cat drank it except Mousefur, Longtail, Rosekit, Toadkit, and Daisy.
Mousefur: Why not get away from this place for a while? –drinks pee and disappears-
Longtail: Wherever Mousefur goes, I go! MOUSY!! WAIT FOR MEE!! –disappears-
Rosekit: Oh, there's enough for me and Toadkit!! Let's go!!
Daisy: I have to go where my kits go, you know that, don't you Firestar? K?
Firestar: But Daisy!!
-Daisy disappears-
Spottedleaf: Only one more drop Firestar…
Firestar: Okay, bye Spottedleaf!
-Spottedleaf jumps in front of Firestar-
Spottedleaf: No, Firestar… you're staying… with me! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Firestar: NOOO!! –jumps and drinks the last drops of pee!
Spottedleaf: NOO!! I WILL GET MY REVENGE!! BEWARE FIRESTAR!! –pees some more, drinks it, and disappears-
Sleektail: Hope ya liked it, I hope I can update soon!! If you want a certain character to act stupid, all you go to do is ask! And Champagne Clan will show up in the next chapter!!