Push
Part 1 of 2
Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee, and all characters in the -Man Universe do not belong to me. I am merely borrowing them for a while to suit my purpose. If it wasn't clear before, I will reiterate that this is an Allen Walker X Lenalee Lee story. Two-shot.
I was going to start continuing on with my current DGM fic but this idea injected itself into my head as I sat down to type and I had to explore it. Sigh…I'm so bad with procrastination. Ilya Shkarov is someone I made up to propel this story along. I am not sure specifically where this is set in terms of the manga's time line and I think I'm okay with that. Let's just say sometime after the move to the new HQ.
The Black Order: Main Headquarters, London
"Hey, who's that…? Allen asked, catching a glimpse of Lenalee and someone he didn't recognize walking beside her on the level just below. He went flush against the rails to get a better look as the pair continued walking on the adjacent side, in the opposite direction he and Lavi were headed.
Lavi leisurely walked over to Allen and looked below as well. "Oh, that must be the new Exorcist from the Eastern European Branch. I heard they sent him over here so Komui could brief him on procedural stuff. I think he's one of the first Exorcists we've had from Russia in a very long time. Besides, everyone has to come through Headquarters the first time they get inducted, with Hevlaska being here and all. Komui will decide where he'll be placed officially after meeting with him. Looks like Lenalee's giving the tour. You remember all that, of course."
"Hard to forget, considering…"
"Oh yeeaah, your infamous 'introduction' to Yu," Lavi said with a big grin. "Well, can't say it wasn't exciting, eh?"
"I'm not sure I'd call almost losing my head…'exciting,'" Allen lamented.
"Well, good thing Lenalee showed up when she did or else you'd have a hard time eating normally, you know, being dead and all. Speaking of which, c'mon, let's get to the dining hall, I'm starving. The new guy's probably headed up here for dinner, too…" Lavi trailed off as he let go of the rail and continued on their original path.
Allen looked on as Lenalee and the new Exorcist, who seemed to be a good head taller than her, walked down the hall. He strained to hear snippets of her guided tour…
"…and these are our quarters…all Exorcists go off to…call this our home…" Allen caught a few words until there were only muffles and the sound of shuffling feet as he lost sight of them underneath the eaves of the floor on which he was currently standing. He continued to lean against the rail, thinking about the time when he first arrived and got his own guided tour of the original Headquarters. He recalled being nervous, anxious, and excited all at once, barely able to take in all the surroundings as Lenalee pointed them out. In the span of 10 minutes, he had been scanned, accused of being an agent of the Earl, nearly gutted and beheaded, then to add insult to injury he was…well, insulted. Lenalee was the first friendly welcome he received when he arrived; a memory he'd never forget as it included the first time he had ever seen Kanda put in his place. He had finally made it to The Black Order and he was going to officially be an Exorcist, as his Master had commissioned. True, those initial moments were hair-raising but thanks to a young lady armed with a clip board and utmost pride in her job, he had been saved to live another day. He didn't realize his lips had slowly turned up into an indulgent grin as he recalled those memories…
"Oi! Allen! Are you coming or not? Your food's gonna get cold and then Jerry's gonna pout the rest of the night," cried Lavi from the end of the hall, pulling Allen out of his reverie.
"Ah— I'm coming!" replied Allen, his stomach growling at him as if to reinforce Lavi's sentiments.
As he raced into the dining hall, he noticed that most everyone was gathered there to enjoy dinner together. It was few and far between when the majority of the Exorcists, Finders, and support staff were able to sit down together. It meant that missions were successful, that akuma activity was on the low end; that people were able to do things considered to be routine and take comfort in monotony. It certainly made the atmosphere lively, having so many personnel chatting together.
Allen followed Lavi to a table near the entry way, as it was one of the few that had room. He preferred the tables nearest to the kitchen so that he could always go back and ask Jerry for anything additional his taste buds felt like. But he was happy to see the dining room so full and decided that the extra steps to get to Jerry were worth it. He sat across from Lavi who had himself found a spot next to Kanda.
"Thanks for saving us a spot, Kanda," said Allen.
Kanda looked up from his soba noodles with signature indignance. "Why would *I* save…"
"Nobody wants to sit near you, Kanda, so you can sort of say you saved us this whole table…" Allen managed to say before he ducked just in time to hear the air slice in two above his head.
"Our little moyashi is all grown up, eh, Yu? Talking back and all," Lavi chimed in as he elbowed Kanda playfully in the arm, encouraging him to sheath Mugen.
Kanda stood up, disgusted. "I've lost my appetite looking at you both," he spat and turned to leave.
"Yu, stick around. The new guy's gonna be here any minute."
"So?"
"Lenalee's gonna to introduce him and she's not gonna to be happy you're not here when everyone else is. On the other hand, I'm sure she'd be happy to bring him to your room so you can get a one-on-one intro," reasoned Lavi.
"Tch," was all Kanda had in reply before he sat down again and stabbed Mugen into the floor, holding it like a regal scepter.
Allen smiled as he started eating, wishing someone would come in and give Kanda a sound pummeling with a clipboard to wipe that imperial sneer from his face. He did feel a certain sense of relief in knowing that Kanda was rude to every newcomer and that he wasn't exceptional in that way. But he wasn't sure how many times Kanda had ever tried to disembowel a fellow Exorcist. Allen supposed he would have to continue on being distinguished in that regard.
"Excuse me, everyone!" shouted Lenalee above the din, waving her hand high in the air. Not surprisingly, everyone stopped what they were doing, even mid-sentence, and turned to face her. Lenalee wasn't necessarily loud or imposing when she spoke aloud, but it was distinct in that it was one of the very few female voices so it rose above the lower frequencies with its lighter, brighter pitch and clarion tone. But most of all, it was because of their respect for her that they did well to care for her by being as mannerly as they could.
"Sorry to interrupt but I wanted all of you to meet our newest member of the Order, Ilya Shkarov. He's from Eastern Russia and will be staying here for at least the next few days until he is placed into a specific Branch. I hope you can all come by and greet him," she concluded, with her warm smile.
Everyone cheered and shouted their welcomes. Ilya looked over the entirety of the room and nodded conservatively as he took in everyone's greetings, his faint smile dimpling his cheeks. Allen applauded as well and noticed, now that he was seeing them more leveled, that Ilya was actually well over a head taller than Lenalee, with wide set shoulders. His thick black hair was wavy but brushed neatly and his eyes were an icy blue. It seemed to Allen that he looked a little older than even Lavi and Kanda. When the cheers died down, Allen waved them over to their table where there was plenty of room. Had there been other seats available, Allen would have waved Lenalee over anyway as he had always savored the friendly and comfortable atmosphere created just by being in her midst.
"Hello, Allen-kun," she said, simply, smiling brilliantly at him. He smiled back, trying to ignore the sudden tingling in the back of his head, the darts in his chest, and the way his legs gave out slightly. Thankful that he was already sitting down, he motioned for her to have a seat as well.
"Hey, we're here, too, Lenalee. You gonna just give Allen all the good stuff?" complained Lavi.
Lenalee giggled, "What are you talking about, Lavi? Besides, I saw you and Kanda this morning. I haven't seen Allen-kun all day."
"I see how it is," he replied, feigning ire.
Allen noted how well Lavi played it cool and how natural it was for Kanda to act indifferent. He himself had not yet quite mastered the art of nonchalance and wasn't sure he'd ever get to that point when it came to Lenalee. Would it come with age and maturity? Or did it just happen with time? How much effort would it take? The real question lay in whether he actually wanted things to change. The reaction he had to Lenalee, whether it was 5 days or 5 minutes apart, was not what he'd consider an unpleasant one. The pinprick he felt in his chest every time he heard her voice reminded him that he was alive. The quickening of his pulse made him aware of his all-too-human heart. He just didn't know what to do with it…
"Ilya, I want you to meet three very important people. This is Allen, Lavi, and Kanda. We work together quite often and they're like my family."
"Greetings," said Ilya, and nodded at them.
"Nice to meet you, Ilya," Allen said genuinely as he offered his hand.
"Good meeting you, man," inserted Lavi while he was shaking hands with Allen.
"I'm free to go now, I assume," intoned Kanda, flatly.
"Don't mind Yu here, he's just shy," said Lavi, as Kanda got up to leave, but not before jabbing a jutting knuckle into the back of Lavi's head.
"Ow!"
"Slow-ass punk."
"Family, huh?" commented Ilya as Kanda turned the corner out of the dining hall.
"Well, every family has one of those, right? But they're still family," replied Lenalee, as she sat down next to Allen. "Please, sit."
"Should I not go order something first?" he inquired.
"Don't worry, I'm sure Jerry already has something in mind for you," Lenalee replied, confidently.
Just as she spoke, Jerry walked over with a tray full of food, and for the first time, they saw Ilya's eyes light up with delight.
"Borsch, pelmeny, shashlik, pirozhki, and kulich!" he cried, his mouth agape.
"Jerry's really good with regional foods," explained Lenalee. "Because we come from so many different backgrounds and countries, he has made it his goal to make popular dishes from each of them so we get a little taste of home any time we want."
"My grandmother used to make the best kulich…" Ilya began but trailed off as his throat constricted and his eyes welled up.
"It won't be nearly as good as hers but I hope you'll like it," said Jerry, normally full of spunk and energy, but this time with earnest. He placed a hand on Ilya's shoulder as he slowly took a bite and chewed.
"It is…wonderful…" Ilya said genuinely as he looked up at Jerry, silently thanking him.
Jerry beamed and walked off, happy as always to provide not only sustenance but also warm memories. Ilya continued to eat more voraciously with each new bite.
"If it's okay, may I ask….where is your grandmother, Ilya?" inquired Lenalee, tenderly, after he was able to put away most of his dinner.
"Her village was annihilated by Akuma two years ago. Only a few were able to escape to neighboring farms. That is how I heard the news; while I was working on my parents' farm several kilometers away. By the time I got there, there was only fire, smoke, and ash. I could not distinguish between the remains of her home and the remains of my grandmother. So I buried it all under the earth…"
"Oh, Ilya, I am so sorry…" Lenalee lamented, putting her left hand atop his and giving it a gentle squeeze.
Lavi and Allen remained respectfully silent with their heads bowed in deference to the grief Ilya was still experiencing.
"…she was not afforded the chance to have her family watch her go into death so that we could bid her spirit peace and close her eyes for her at last. Doing that for our loved ones is an honored tradition," he continued, somberly. "Later, I heard stories of ghosts of the dead from that village returning and claiming the lives of those who had survived to mourn them. I was afraid it would happen to me as well. Of course, I only learned recently that the survivors, many who had been relatives of my neighbors, had called back the dead and turned them into Akuma. In the end, there were no real survivors left."
Allen flinched. He knew this scenario all too well.
"We have all experienced similar loss, Ilya," comforted Lenalee. "Many of us fight for those we lost to the Earl. And many of us fight to try and keep others from having to experience it for themselves."
With those last words, Lenalee turned and placed her right hand lightly and discreetly on Allen's knee, giving him a knowing and supportive glance. She had noticed Allen stiffen at Ilya's words and knew that his mind turned inwardly to thoughts of his father, Mana. She wished she could take back the question she asked Ilya, sure that Allen would be wracked with guilt set loose from this freshly torn scab that never had a chance to heal.
Allen looked up and saw her kind eyes. With much effort, he set his mouth into a grim smile, still affected by Lenalee's disarming care; her desire to pull the lid off before he allowed the pot to boil over. He subtlely nodded his head, hoping she'd understand that he would be all right and she didn't have to worry about him falling apart. He hated having her worry over him.
Time became immeasurable when he looked at Lenalee. He couldn't tell if seconds or minutes or hours passed. And he didn't care. In those instances, he forgot a little of the pain, a little of the grief, and tasted stolen moments of peace.
"Lenalee…after dinner…can I speak with you alone?" inquired Ilya, suddenly. It wasn't until then that Lavi and Allen noticed he had covered Lenalee's hand with his own, so large it was dwarfing hers. "It's a private matter I would like to discuss with you."
"U-um, sure, Ilya," replied Lenalee, hesitantly. Though she'd only met him earlier today, she had pegged him as a man of very few words. But he seemed so anxious now to speak. "I'll meet you in the lounge?"
"I remember you showed me that room. I will see you in thirty minutes, yes? Will that be enough time for you to enjoy your meal?"
"Yes, it should be plenty, thank you."
"Good," he said simply, and got up to leave. "Thank you for your warm welcome, gentlemen," he directed toward Lavi and Allen. "I hope I will be able to work with you in the future." With that, he left the dining hall, heading toward the lounge.
"I wonder what that was about," Allen genuinely wondered aloud.
"He seems to have warmed up to you quickly, eh, Lenalee?" stated Lavi, that mischievous look returning to his eyes, almost as if he knew something they didn't.
"I'm sure he just wants to talk to me more about the Order, Lavi; probably about his meeting with nii-san," she defused.
"Maybe he wants to ask you if you're single."
"Lavi!" cried both Allen and Lenalee at once.
Lavi feigned innocence. "What? He's a good-looking, strapping young man, don't you think? And don't take this the wrong way, Lenalee, but aside from Miranda and General Kloud, you're the best representative of the fairer gender around here. What does his dossier say? He's 19 or 20 years old, right? I'm pretty good with guessing ages. He looks like he's worked the land pretty hard…"
He would have continued on but Lenalee had abruptly and swiftly pulled down his bandanna over his mouth. Allen was glad for it otherwise Lavi would have been on the receiving end of another kick to the head.
"That's rude, Lavi," was what Allen was able to get out, noticing the furious flush spreading across Lenalee's nose and cheeks.
"Look, I'm just joking around a little. You guys are too serious sometimes," Lavi said in a more somber, even tone, as he pulled his bandanna all the way down around his neck. "We live such unorthodox lives, is it wrong to talk about things that we would normally be doing, if we were, you know..."
"…not Exorcists?" finished Lenalee.
Lavi nodded.
"I don't know if it's better or worse to talk about those things," said Allen, thoughtfully. "It might be fun for a time but then you start to think about the fact that it can never be a reality for us; those things that other people take for granted."
"Could you imagine if my greatest concern was what I was going to wear to school tomorrow so I wouldn't be ridiculed or so that boys might notice me?" asked Lenalee, with a wistful smile, almost as if talking to herself. Then her smile faltered and her expression turned sober. "Or…if all I had to worry about was if someone I liked, liked me back?"
They sat there quietly for a long moment, ruminating over things that they could be, would be, and should be doing at their age outside of the Black Order. Then Lenalee reached over and put her hand on Lavi's arm.
"I know it's hard for you, too, Lavi. You try so hard to pull us out of our heads every once in a while so we don't forget ourselves completely. And you're right…we shouldn't be so serious all the time. I will always remember that day I went shopping in town with Russell-san, I almost felt…I felt like a normal girl, even though nii-san did everything he could to ruin it," she chuckled nervously. "Maybe I should try to pursue those kinds of things every now and again, hm?" she said, as she tilted her head and smiled sweetly.
Lavi nodded, thankful that she understood his intentions and chided himself for maybe pushing too hard and getting too involved in their lives. He found he couldn't help himself, which went against every bit of training and advice from that Old Panda. He tried to shake off his obligation to either complicity, hoping somehow he could still be faithful to both without forsaking the other.
Allen, who had remained relatively quiet during all of this, was lost in thought and torn for his good friends. Lavi: responsible for recording human history objectively and yet, falling prey to that most human of traits – caring – and thereby suffering each time he went about his duties. And Lenalee who, by all means, should be enjoying her youth and spending some of her energy on frivolous things and laughing much more than she ever had, was cooped up in a dark foreboding building ever since she was a child, the burden of the world heavy on her shoulders. And yet, without them fulfilling these roles, where would the world be? Where would he be?
"…maybe I should try to pursue those kinds of things every now and again, hm?" Allen heard Lenalee say as he finally came out of his own thoughts. "I guess I should to go meet with Ilya. I hope it's nothing too serious. Thank you, Lavi. Good-bye, Allen-kun."
"B-bye, Lenalee…" Allen managed to sputter out as he realized she was leaving. She turned and waved at him, smiling cheerfully, before turning to head toward the lounge. Allen turned to Lavi. "What was Lenalee saying about pursuing those kinds of things, Lavi? What kind of things?"
"I thought you looked out of it," commented Lavi. "She was just saying that maybe she'll try doing things every once in a while that will help her feel like a normal young lady. You know, take a walk around the city, go shopping more often, go to the theatre, maybe even find a lover…"
"Eh?" cried Allen, a little more loudly than he intended.
"I wonder if Ilya's ever been to the theatre," pondered Lavi, unaffected, as he leaned back and laced his hands behind his head.
Allen barely muttered an excuse for himself and quickly left the dinner table.
Lavi closed his eyes and smiled.
TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2
A/N – Ah Lavi, my dear, sweet instigator! I like him in the role of accelerant. Let's see if his plan works in the next Chapter.