Title: Why Should I Care?
Author: Nathalia Mueller
Rating: PG-13

Timeframe: AU after NJO: Rebirth, also some events during Rebirth also differ a bit from canon.
Characters: Kyp Durron, Jaina Solo.
Genre: Romance, songfic.
Summary: Seven years ago Jaina broke up with Kyp after the destruction of the worldship, but now, Kyp tries to get back to her. AU. K/J.

Date Of Creation: 02-19-06.

Word Count: 1771.
A/N: From all songfics I ever wrote, this is the one I like most, by far. The lyrics are from Toni Braxton's "Why Should I Care?" and are obviously symbolised in italics.

Back in the day
When I was younger
I wasn't afraid
Of giving my heart to you

Jaina still hated herself for what had happened years ago during the Yuuzhan Vong war prior to the worldship's destruction. She hated herself for having given herself to Kyp without hesitating. Somehow, it had felt like the right thing to do back then.
She had never told anyone about the things that had happened in this period prior to the worldship's destruction, what had happened when she had been alone with Kyp.
The war had ended soon after her relationship to Kyp came to its end, but even now, seven years later, Jaina wasn't able to trust any man enough to have a relationship, every time she tried, she remembered how it had ended with Kyp.

Now and again
I get sentimental
But I know it's just a phase
I'm going through

Now, at the celebration of Ben's seventh lifeday, she felt slightly jealous of Jacen and Anakin when she saw them with Tenel Ka and Tahiri, but she didn't let it show. She knew that she'd never be able to have a relationship ever again, this chance had been destroyed with the worldship so many years ago.
On the other side of the room she noticed a dark-haired man who was staring at her, she could feel his green eyes boring into her like they had done many times before since the first time on Dubrillion, Kyp Durron's eyes, the eyes she had once loved to feel on her.

And every time I start to slip
I just remind myself
I need only think of it
I went through so much hell

He walked over to her and she took a few steps back. Jaina pretended not to notice him, but she just couldn't. She felt him come closer until she was standing against the wall, Kyp only a foot away from her.
"We haven't seen each other in a while," he whispered into her ear, his voice raspy.
It gave Jaina the creeps, but unfortunately she liked it. Something within her wanted him to come closer, to press her against the wall, to kiss her, but she knew it wasn't the right thing to do.
"I wouldn't mind never seeing you again," she hissed at him, but she spoke in a low tone. She didn't want anyone to notice what was going on between them.
"You're breaking my heart."
"I wish I could really break your heart," Jaina said angrily. "It would make up for what you did to me so long ago."

You say ya wanna get things back
The way they used to be
Can you give me one good reason
Why should I darlin'

She tried to walk past him, but he blocked her with his arms. She was trapped, once again.
"What is it you want?"
"We need to talk, Jaina."
"There's absolutely nothing for us to talk about."
"Listen, Jay. I made a mistake when I lied to you, I'm sorry."
"You realised this very early," she remarked bitterly.
"Jaina, please, give me another chance, let me make up for what I did to you back then."
"Why should I, Kyp? Can you give me just one reason for me to want you back?"

Why should I care
Why should I care for you?
Why should I care
Why should I care for you?

Jaina felt his grip loosen on her and she grinned triumphantly. But he still didn't let go of her, he just stood there, his eyes nailing her to the wall, his arms weren't even necessary to stop her from moving. He lowered one arm and Jaina sighed relieved until she felt his hand grabing her wrist.
She couldn't remember when he had touched last her, but now it made her heart beat stronger, just a bit, but probably enough for him to notice.

Why should I care
Why should I care for you?
Why should I care
Why should I care

She had barely thought this, when she felt him putting the other hand on her chest.
"C'mon Jaina, who do you want to fool? Both of us know that you want it, that we need each other. I thought I had made pretty obvious that you were the one for me."
"I don't want you, Kyp, you make me sick, that's the only thing I feel when I'm around you," she spat back at him, taking his hand off her. "And now get your dirty hands off me."
"Or what? You'll make me?" There was a sparkle of amusement in his voice and in his eyes. "You know I'm stronger and I know you won't do anything to get anyone's attention."

Back in the day
I shoulda been wiser
But what can I say
I shoulda been onto you

She still remembered their first kiss on Dubrillion. It had been just before she had flown through Lando's Folly. They had run into each other in a dark corridor and before she had really been able to understand what was going on, he had pressed his lips to hers, kissing her. And she had kissed him back without a second thought. It had felt right, somehow.
"You're going to fly better than I did, right?" he had asked and she had nodded confidently. She had been certain she'd be able to outfly him.
"You're good, Jaina Solo, two victories within an hour, only."
"What do you mean?"
"You'll steal my first place on the run and you've stolen my heart, also."
Thus, a relationship had started, one that nobody had ever known about.

But I was afraid
That you'd break my heart in two
Fate would it that you broke it anyway baby

At first she had been unsure about the whole thing. He had been able to read her better than anyone else, had been able to see her darkest thoughts, the ones not even Jacen knew about.
When she had been with him, she had felt complete, a lot more complete than her twin had ever been able to make her feel.
In the first weeks she had often asked herself why Kyp wanted to be with her. She was so much younger with less experience. She had feared he was only playing with her, that he would leave if he found someone his age, but he had always told her not to worry, that she was perfect, that he didn't want anyone but her.

And every time I close my eyes
I just remind myself

His scent filled her nostrils and she closed her eyes. Thousands of images of the time she had spent with him so long ago filled her head, there was no space for anything but them. It had been a short time, but nonetheless there was so much to remember, so many wonderful moments when they had been on their own.
"See?" Kyp's voice was low, she felt his breath on her neck and she shivered. "You and me, we are meant to be."

You told about a million lies
You put my heart throuth hell

Jaina opened her eyes and looked into his green ones, that always made her feel stronger and now she needed this strength to resist him.
"How can you say you love me, Kyp, when everything you did was lie to me? You hurt me so much and you know it."
He nodded. "I lied to you about the worldship, I used you. But Jaina, you have to understand that I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, it was the last thing I wanted to do."

And now you wanna get with me
Just for old times sake
Well I am not about to make that same mistake

"After all this time you decide you want me back and expect me to get back to you? You want me to believe that you're sorry for everything you did to me, that you didn't do it on purpose? I don't believe you, Kyp. I'm not the girl I was back then, you know, I can see that everything was a huge mistake, that I never should have gotten myself involved with you in the first place."

You see a girl that you gave all your love
I see a girl you took advantage of
You see a girl that you cannot forget
I see a man that I cannot forgive

"What do I have to do so you'll realise that I love you? That I loved you back then, that I will always love you and only you?"
"You have never loved me, you've just used me. I was convenient, you wanted someone you could spend time with and who didn't ask anything of you and you found everything you wanted in me. And on Serpindal, when I questioned your actions, you got rid of me without any difficulty because nobody knew about us, because you had wanted to keep it secret."
"Stang, Jaina, stop twisting things in your favour! I didn't want anyone to know about us because I knew how people would react. The teenage daughter of the galaxy's greatest heroes and a mass murderer nearly one and a half decades older than her."

Back in the day when I was young
I wasn't afraid to love
Back in the day
You were the one what was I thinking of

"You said you didn't care about what people say!" she reminded him.
"I don't. But I was thinking about you. Your parents, what would they have said? Or even better, how long would it have taken till your father shot me?"
Jaina couldn't help to giggle. "Yes, that was us."
Kyp couldn't resist the smile on her lips, he pulled her towards him and kissed her.
When the kiss came to an end, they had already decided on their fates.

Back in the day
Shoulda been wiser
Shoulda been onto you
But I was afraid i make a mistake
No one knows

Jaina was sitting on her bed, a little boy with brown eyes in her arms and she smiled happily at her son. She heard steps and her smile widened. The door opened and Kyp came in. He sat on the bed next to her, kissed his wife and his son.
"What are you thinking about?" he inquired when he noticed the absent look on her face.
"About the past, when I was young," she said thoughtfully. "About how stupid it was to marry you."
"Probably the biggest mistake you ever made," he laughed, kissing her once again.