Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, or any characters or settings associated with the series. All credit goes to Takahashi Rumiko-sensei. Who I think I met randomly one day in San Diego... or some relation of her... It was weird.

Authors Note: I've decided to try my hand at diary/journal entries for different characters through-out different series. I will keep them open in case any one has ideas for me to write about, or if something just pops into my mind. Ideas and reviews please.

Journal,

I know that I could talk to Kagome-chan about this, but I'm afraid that in her getting closer to InuYasha, she may accidentally spill it. And it's not like she goes back to her time very often anymore.

I always wondered what it would be like in the future. Kagome wears an outfit that I do not think I would look good in, but men like Miroku stare at her all the time. I want him to look at me. Him...

I'm so embarrassed about this. How could I fall for that pervert?! He's such a pig. But he's helpful when he needs to be. And he's handsome. And he's charming, even when he's a pig. Women know he's a flirt, but they continue on with it.

Recently I was gathering water in a shallow pond, and men attacked me. Their leader said that he wanted to keep me, and informed them to capture me. It would have been no trouble to take them, but InuYasha interfered. And as we wandered into town it only got worse.

This is why I haven't written in awhile.

And then this girl was there. Her name was Koharu. Younger than me, not nearly as pretty, and she knew Miroku! Miroku asked her to bear his child sometime in the past and she wanted to keep her promise! Can you believe that? I couldn't think whose head I wanted to rip off more, hers or Miroku's.

Kirara and I followed them as they went off to sit by the pond and Kagome, InuYasha, and Shippou followed us.

He held her as if she was the most delicate thing alive. As if he wanted to give his life to protect her. I was determined at that point to throw Hiraikotsu at both of them, but then InuYasha said something and I focused my anger on him. He was quick to beg for forgiveness.

But why can't that be me, is all I think when I look at her. Why can't he hold me like that? Protect me with his life...I want that. Why can't that be me? What's wrong with me? Why can't he see that I want to be that for him? I want to bear his child.

I don't fight only for my brother. My purpose now has more than one meaning. More than one man is now the reason I continue to live. Kokaku... and Miroku. Why can't he see that? Why can't he see? Do I have to scream it to the world?

But I can't. I can't push myself hard enough to tell him. I'm so afraid that he'll reject me. He didn't even realize that he hadn't asked me to bear his child until after I pointed it out. I would have said yes, if he hadn't reached over and started to grope me too. Well... I like to tell myself I would have. But unless he admits that he wants to spend his life with me first, I'll never be able to say it.

I guess I just needed to vent. It's great that Kagome-chan gave me this notebook. It helps me focus. I think I'll write more later.

Sango