Loveless Detective Club
Chapter One: The Missing Cat Case
March 21st 10:12a.m.
Tifa was starting to become very bored whilst sitting at her kitchen table and having nothing to do. She had sipped at her cup of tea once or twice, and glanced at today's paper, but there was nothing really interesting in it. Standing up, she walked over the window and stared outside.; it was a beautiful day, as the sun was shining and birds were singing in the trees. A few times she caught a glimpse of the neighbourhood cat jumping across the branches in the trees, searching for birds.
Sighing deeply, Tifa went back to sit down at the table. As it was a Sunday, she kept her bar, newly relocated at the Wall Market, closed.
"I wonder what Yuffie is doing now?" she wondered, sipping at her lukewarm tea. The desire to see someone and chat overcame her boredom, so she hastily pulled her mobile phone from her skirt pocket and dialled Yuffie's number.
A few rings later and she answered.
"Hello..?" a voice croaked from the other end. It was a rather tired sounding Yuffie.
"Hey, Yuffie, it's me." Tifa said cheerfully.
"Tifa..? It's so early.. you woke me up!" Yuffie exclaimed, yawning down the telephone line.
"What are you talking about? It's quarter past ten..." she replied, pulling out a cigarette from its packet. She could hear shuffling around from the other end of the line as she lit it up.
"Oh, damn. Sorry, I had a late night last night. So, what's up?"
"Nothing, really... I just wanted to know if you'd like to meet up or something."
"Oh... well give me five minutes to chuck something on. Meet me at that cafe." Yuffie snorted, hanging up. She was usually like that, crass and rude. Tifa smiled and put her phone back in her pocket, inhaling on her cigarette.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The cafe where Yuffie and Tifa met up was of a Chinese affair, and was decorated beautifully with red paper laterns and banners of various colours bearing various chinese letters. Luckily the place was pretty empty, so once they sat down and made their orders it arrived promptly. Yuffie had ordered coffee with two sugars and a lot of milk, alongside chicken chow mein and a burger. Tifa had ordered Earl Grey tea, a salad with a tuna side and also some bread sticks. As they munched through their breakfasts, they spoke about their week.
"So, how's life been treating you?" Yuffie asked. She shoved half the burger into her gob, chewing with her mouth wide open. Tifa, avoiding the awful sight, replied after sipping her hot tea.
"Well,... the bar's been pretty quiet, but probably because it's been rather cold these last few weeks." she sighed, staring into her tea.
"Aw. Don't worry. The weather forecast calls for sunny skies!" Yuffie smiled, wrapping the chow mein around with her fork and chucking it into her mouth.
"I hope so." was all Tifa could say. Just as she was going to ask how Yuffie was keeping, Aeris burst into the cafe, eyes red with tears.
"Tifa! Yuffie! Thank god I found you!" Aeris cried, throwing herself down onto their table. Tifa and Yuffie reeled back in shock, staring awkwardly at each other.
"What's wrong, Aeris?" Tifa asked.
"Yeah! Had another falling out with Cloud?" Yuffie laughed. Aeris looked up from the table at them both, appearing miserable.
"No, nothing like that! Not this time!" she sobbed. "It's- it's- it's..." she stammered, unable to speak properly through the tears.
"Well, what?" Yuffie sighed, ruthlessly.
"It's my cat, Tseng! He's gone missing!" she wailed, throwing her head back down into her arms and crying hysterically.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
FILE I: TSENG/ THE MISSING CAT
12:10p.m.
Tifa and Yuffie found themselves in Aeris' backgarden. It was rather a small garden, adorned with various flowers and a small, well-kept pond in the corner, filled with fishes.
"This is where I saw him last." Aeris whispered. She had calmed down a lot since the cafe, as she led Tifa and Yuffie from there back to her house. Yuffie had not wanted to go, but Tifa, being the kind-hearted girl she is, insisted they help.
"How did we get talked into this..." Yuffie thought, folding her arms and listening non-commitedly.
Pointing to a weird cat house where Tifa presumed 'Tseng' slept, Aeris knelt down beside it and stroke the roof. The cat house was pink, and stood about two feet tall. Tifa knelt down beside her and peered inside. Within it was a fluffy, black and white spotted bed and a dish, presumably for food.
"When did you last see her?" Tifa asked. She lit another cigarette; although she didn't want to admit it, this was rather ridiculous. But then again, she felt really bad for Aeris, and the cat. A cat missing was a really bad thing to happen; anything could have occured!
"Well.. two days ago." Aeris sniffled, keeping her eye on the cat house. "I put food out, but he didn't come back yesterday. I waited up all night and he didn't show. Oh, my poor cat!" she started to wail. Yuffie rolled her eyes and went back inside Aeris' house. Tifa, placing her arm around Aeris' shoulder to comfort her, led her also back inside the house to make her a nice pot of tea.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
4:15p.m.
Tifa and Yuffie sat in Tifa's kitchen, talking over coffee and cigarettes. They had finally calmed down Aeris', who was resting at her own house now.
"I've built up a map." Tifa sighed, placing a piece of paper on the table. It was a crudely drawn map of the area, seemingly done on the back of a telephone bill... and in lipstick.
"What for?" Yuffie asked, crushing her cigarette out on the table.
"Please don't do that!" Tifa exclaimed, pointing to the cigarette. "Use the ashtray!"
"All right, all right!"
"Sometimes you are just the worst... anyway, this map shows Aeris' house... see, here's the backgarden..." she pointed to the backgarden square. "And here are the neighbouring houses." she pointed to little squares that were near to Aeris' square.
"So you think the cat wandered off near to Aeris' house? So why hasn't it come back?" Yuffie asked, sipping her coffee.
"I don't know..." Tifa sighed. "That's the problem.
"So, are you suggesting...?"
"Catnap."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
4:43p.m.
"You what?" said the policeman behind the bullet-proof glass. Tifa was becoming increasingly more frustrated. Standing in a police station, Tifa explained the situation once more. Her friend's cat had been missing for more than a day now, and she suspected it had been stolen. It was a very expensive and loved cat, and as a policeman it was his duty to find the criminal.
"You must been joking, love." he laughed, returning to his papers. Tifa turned back to Yuffie, who just shrugged her shoulders. A few seconds later, they had left the police station, with Tifa red and angry and Yuffie kicking a can of empty coke around.
"That's it, Yuffie. We're just going to have to solve this on our own." Tifa exclaimed, staring off into the horizon.
"What? It's a cat, Tifa!" Yuffie cried, grabbing her by the shoulders. She stared deeply into her eyes.
"I know it's a cat! But what about next time? It could be you, or me! We've faced worse foes than this. Someone has stolen our friend's-"
"Your friend's.." Yuffie interrupted.
"....My friend's cat. And I am going to get it back. Are you with me?"
Yuffie walked on for a bit, and sat down on a nearby bench. Pulling out a pack of cigarette, she slowly yanked one out and lit it. Inhaling deeply and appearing solemn, she gazed into the horizon.
"Say we did do this... detective... work for Aeris... it would be sort of like a job for us. Wouldn't it?" Yuffie asked her, quietly. Tifa blinked.
"I guess." She replied.
"And jobs require fees." she smiled.
"What are you saying, Yuffie?"
"I'm saying." she sighed, standing up from the bench. "I'll do it, for a price."
"A price? Come on.. Aeris is our friend."
"No good deed goes unpunished, Tifa."
"What are you on about?"
"Two wrongs don't make a right."
Tifa turned away from her then, laughing loudly.
"You're just saying proverbs at me now." she chuckled.
"Ugh! Look, I'll help you! But I'm charging Aeris afterwards. You can get a cut at the end of it if you want."
"Whatever." Tifa sniggered, walking off towards her house.
"You won't be laughing when you see the cheque at the end of it, Tifa!" Yuffie called on after her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
March 22nd 9:01a.m.
The morning sun was appearing in the eastern sky, and all was busy in the streets of Wall Market. People was hustling and bustling to open their shops, and everyone was hurrying to work. Two young women were also in the streets that morning, Tifa and Yuffie, sat on a bench. Aeris' house was situated directly in the middle of Wall Market, between two other houses, built after the fall of Shin-Ra. Wall Market had expanded greatly over the previous months, and many business had opened, and houses too.
"So, what are we doing here so early..?" Yuffie groaned, her face tired and crabby.
"I told you a thousand times! Looking for suspicious characters." Tifa whispered, holding her flask of hot coffee. Yuffie rolled her eyes and held her face close to Tifa's.
"Listen, doll. It's a cat. It's already been taken. There ain't gonna be any 'suspicious characters'. I say we break into Aeris' neighbours' house." Yuffie sighed, backing away. Tifa opened her eyes wide.
"You can't be serious. It's morning! We'd be caught for sure!" she exclaimed, nearly dropping her flask.
"Look, the police aren't gonna help us. And what are you talking about? In the morning everyone has buggered off for work. At night time they are actually IN the house. I say we go! Think of the money!" she cried, standing up. Before Tifa could protest Yuffie had waltzed over to Aeris' house and let herself in with the key Aeris had bestowed unto her to aid her in the investigation. Tifa followed after in a vain attempt to stop her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Yuffie!" Tifa whispered, as Yuffie approached Aeris' kitchen. "Yuffie, stop!"
"What?" Yuffie cried back, turning around in anger.
"Shhh! Keep your voice down!" Tifa shook violently.
"Don't worry, Aeris is sleeping with Mr. Tranq today." Yuffie smirked.
"Oh. Well, anyway, this is Aeris' house, why are we here?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm going to climb into next door neighbour's garden and get in through the back door."
Tifa was speechless as Yuffie continued to exit through the garden door and approached the garden fence. Following on after her, she saw her crouch down and then clamber nimbly over the fence. Tifa, pumping with adrenaline at the fear of getting caught quickly followed after.
"What are you doing now?" Tifa whispered, seeing Yuffie knelt down in front of the back door of the neighbour's house.
"I'm picking the door..." Yuffie squirmed, fiddling with the lock, using a hair pin as a lockpick. After a few minutes she prized the door open and they entered inside.
The house was quiet, and all was still; Yuffie had been dead on the money, the neighbours were out, probably at work.
"So what now?" Tifa asked, looking around. The house was kept rather messy, with clothes scattered everywhere, furniture randomly placed and TVs in every room.
"Search for the cat, dummy!" Yuffie sighed, running upstairs.
"Ok...cat... cat... Here, Tseng, Tseng, Tseng!" Tifa cooed, calling in all directions. She passed through each room of the house, taking in the decoration. When she was about to give up, she heard Yuffie calling from upstairs.
"I've found him, I've found him!" she shouted.
"Are you sure!?" Tifa called back.
"Yes! It's how Aeris described!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Exiting the neighbour's house from the front door (amateurs that they were), Tifa and Yuffie smiled and patted the cat that they held in their arms. Tseng mewed happily and purred with satisfaction at the attention he received. Yuffie had not found him in squallid conditions; in fact, he seemed to have been treated nicely, with expensive looking food placed for him and a golden food bowl. Just as they reached Aeris' front door, an elderly woman approached them, an angry look on her face.
"Hey, you two young girls!" she cried, waving a walking stick in the air. "What are you doing with King Tiddles!"
"Uhh.. excuse me?" Tifa replied, shocked.
"King Tiddles..?" Yuffie smirked, holding the cat tighter.
"Yes! My cat!" the old lady peered angrily at the two, ready to hit them.
"Excuse me, old lady, but this isn't your cat! You stole it from Aeris, your neighbour!" Yuffie exclaimed.
The old lady staggered back in disbelief.
"Stole it? How dare you? I've never stolen anything in my life..." she said, weakly.
"It's true, this cat belongs to the woman who lives here." Tifa said, pointing to Aeris' house.
"But... I thought it was a stray." the old whispered, looking at the ground, trembling.
"I'm sorry, but it isn't."
"Well... I guess I must apoligise to this,... Aeris for my ignorance. If I had known..." the old lady, starting to walk away. Tifa's heart wrenched at the sight... she felt she had stolen the cat from the old lady, even though it hadn't belonged to her. Yuffie eagerly pushed Aeris' door open, thinking of the money. Just as they entered the house and were about the shut the door behind them, they heard the old lady again.
"Hey, wait! How did you get King Tiddles?!" she cried. They hastily shut the door.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Tifa and Yuffie stood over Aeris' bed, glancing at each other with a smile on their faces. Aeris, sleeping soundly, had no idea that they had found her cat, and now Yuffie held it in her hands. With a quick look, Yuffie approached Aeris with Tseng, although the cat did not approve; as it got nearer to Aeris it started screeching and howling, biting Yuffie and scratching her. At the noise, Aeris stirred and woke up. As she rose from the bed, she saw the cat and immediately ran over to it before it could escape, scooping it into her arms.
"Oh my God!" Aeris screamed, ignoring the cats cries as it wanted to be let go. "You found it!"
Aeris was starting to cry again with joy, as she held Tseng tightly.
"I can't thank you enough!" How could I ever repay you?!" she cried, stroking Tseng.
"Well, how about... 500 gil for administration, 1000 for finding the damn thing and another 500 for delivery?" Yuffie suggested.
Aeris stared in disbelief.
"Oh, and another 1000 for the damages." Yuffie smirked.
"Damages?" Tifa asked, looking over at Yuffie. Yuffie held up her arm, showing the cat scratches she had sustained when she drew near to Aeris.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
8:32p.m.
"3000 gil!" Yuffie laughed, waving the money about in the air. Twirling around on the spot, she collapsed on Tifa's sofa.
"Ahem!" Tifa coughed. She sat down beside Yuffie, grabbed the wad of cash, much to Yuffie's dismay, split it and gave half back to her. "1500 gil." she smirked, tucking it in her pocket. "Don't spend it all at once. It's not everyday you come across money like this." she sighed.
Yuffie huffed and sat up.
"What do you mean? Don't you want to do this again?" she asked, fumbling around for a cigarette.
"Huh?" was all Tifa could say, starting stupidly at her.
"Well! We didn't mess this up to badly! And we made some cash out of it! So what do you say?"
"What do you mean?"
Yuffie sighed deeply and lit a cigarette; standing up, she went over to the dining table, helped herself to Tifa's wine and sat on a chair.
"You're so dense. Think about it... must I spell it out? You and me... we could work together... solving people's problems. Like we did with Aeris."
"You mean... like a detective club, or something?" Tifa asked, surprised.
"Yeah! But not THAT cliched! We could earn a fortune!" Yuffie exclaimed, drooling at the thought of all that money.
"I don't know, it seems kind of dangerous." she whimpered, looking at the floor.
"Uh, hello!?" Yuffie cried, "We've been to the brink of near-death fighting Sephiroth, I think we can handle it!"
Tifa looked around the room, espying a picture of her and Cloud on a sideboard. Summoning courage, she stared Yuffie in the eye.
"You're right, Yuffie! I can do it! So let's do it! Let's open a detective club!" she called courageously, standing up as she did so.
"That's the spirit!" Yuffie grinned, standing up alongside her. "But, what should we call it?"
"Hmmm... how about... Loveless Detective Club!"