"Just one day…"
~~~o~~~O~~~o~~~
That kind smile.
Those gentle hands.
All of them… gone.
I can still see it.
I can still feel her hands, soft in mine, losing their warmth.
I can still hear her quiet whispering, her last words, before her eyes close and she disappears altogether.
~~~o~~~O~~~o~~~
I wake up, heart thudding as if it's about to escape from my chest, silent tears escaping from my eyes, and I know I've been doing it again.
Dreaming. Dreaming about her. Dreaming about the child that died in my arms. Dreaming about the future I could've had.
I wake up in the same lonely room, in the same lonely house, in this same lonely life that I live.
And that's when I hear it.
A gentle voice, singing a song that fully awakens me from my sleep.
It's just a simple melody that seems to go on forever without a destination, just notes that somehow harmonize, but it leaves me with a feeling of happiness, a feeling I've not felt in a long time.
And that voice… It's so familiar and yet… It can't be true…
The song stops.
A voice, that voice, calls up to me.
"Tomoya? Are you awake? Just because it's your day off it doesn't mean you can stay in bed all day! Ushio wants you to play with her!"
I shake my head. There's no way… I'm still dreaming…
And yet…If it really is, I want it to last forever.
"Daddy! You were sleeping for so long! I want to play Hide and seek!" Ushio exclaims as I walk downstairs.
I smile, about to scoop her up in my arms when Nagisa calls for breakfast.
I have my first breakfast with my entire family, savouring every mouthful, unsure yet still happy.
The food entering my mouth is real and tasty, the people sitting at the table with me are real and I love them.
That is all I need to believe.
~~~o~~~O~~~o~~~
The rest of the day I spend smiling.
There's nothing I feel I want to do anymore.
Just smile.
Given what I state I was in before, it seemed so refreshing just to smile. I had to. I convince myself that if I keep smiling I will always stay with Nagisa and Ushio. I will always stay happy.
And I fool myself with it. I forget my previous pain and loneliness. I bathe in these few moments of pure bliss.
A loud hoot and shouting is suddenly audible through the open window.
"Sorry, sorry. Yeah, I just got it."
I frown in confusion. Wait, that's-
"Sunohara!" I exclaim as he walks in, a very large bump present on his forehead.
He grins as he spots me and bows slightly to Nagisa.
"Must be nice to have a family already. I got my driving license a few weeks ago and then yesterday I finally got a vehicle to go with it. Bit of a rookie with cars though. I accidently ran into this guy's front garden, see, and he goes and gives me this nice head decoration." He points dramatically at the bruise sticking out of his head. "Gonna be a bit hard to score with the ladies with this thing. It looks like it's gonna last for a while too."
I laugh. This is perfect. This is the life I want. With my idiot friend walking every so often into my house to complain to me about stuff that doesn't concern me in the least. With my wife and kid happy and smiling. Why is it too much to wish for?
Yet…It isn't is it? Right now…I'm…
My laughter stops.
I find myself suddenly scared. The sun sets slowly over me and something tells me time is almost up.
My wish…More time…I want more time, but wanting will get me nowhere.
I desperately make a grasp for Nagisa's hand, clutching it tight in my own.
Tears spill down her cheeks, as she attempts to speak, to comfort me. I haven't had a chance to…
"Not yet! I don't want to-"
I'm broken off by my own sobbing.
When I look up, Sunohara is gone.
Ushio is gone.
Only Nagisa remains in front of me, her hand still clasped in mine.
"Sorry." She whispers.
Those are the last words I hear before my vision blurs, fades and I'm sucked back into reality.
~~~o~~~O~~~o~~~
I wake up, heart thudding as if it's about to escape from my chest, silent tears escaping from my eyes, and I know I've been doing it again.
Dreaming. Dreaming about her. Dreaming about the child that died in my arqms. Dreaming about the future I could've had.
I wake up in the same lonely room, in the same lonely house, in this same lonely life that I live.
And that's when I hear it.
"Are you alright?"
I turn to see a familiar face looking back at me with concerned eyes.
"You were tossing and turning in your sleep. I thought you weren't well so I called and cancelled work for you. At first you seemed to be panicky, and then you softened. You quieted all of a sudden, and you seemed like a child, content and safe. Then…you seemed slightly troubled and then your body shook and… you started crying. I was scared. Honestly. And then…you woke up. If something's wrong, you can always tell me."
My eyes become watery.
"Oh, and I already took Ushio to kindergarten. I was scared because I wasn't with you, but Sunohara came with me. I refused to ride in his car like you told me to, so we had to walk. But Ushio seemed happy enough."
She breaks off.
"When I saw you sleeping…I wanted to remind you that I'm always here for you, no matter what. I love you, Tomoya."
I give in to my emotions and tears begin to trickle down my cheeks.
"I love you too, Nagisa."