A/N 'Ello again everyone! For all of ya'll who are reading my other story "Midnight Crisis" don't worry I haven't gone crazy and forgotten about it. Actually I'm typing out an update and writing one all at the same time! Yay!
Anyways, I'm not crazy or anything… hey that's a song… Superman… 'I'm not crazy… or anything…' oh um anyways… this story may scare you but please…don't leave T.T I don't like being alone…
Okay on with the story… thing…
Disclaimer: I don't own FiveForFighting, Smallville, um car insurance?
SETTING
Clark walks into the Fortress of Solitude looking rather sad and hurt.
Clark: Jor-el?
-Sadly Jor-el was on his way for a 'potty break' when he was ambushed by a crazed fan girl. He was gagged and thrown into the girl's little brother's closet, and Jor-el's booming voice has now been replaced by that of yours truly…ME! And for those of ya'll who need a bit more help… Mudd. FFF (A.K.A. FiveForFighting) is kinda in the background….BUT WHO CARES? –laughs manically- -
Mudd: -Has 'Barbie Girl' blasting and is singing along in high pitched girly voice-
Clark: JOR-EL?
Mudd: -Music is suddenly cut off- WHAT?
Clark: What are you doing? Was that you singing?
Mudd: Um… no? WHY ARE YOU ASKING SO MANY STUPID QUESTIONS?
Clark: Um… well…good…um…can I talk to you?
Mudd: Hurry, because I have a hair appointment in 15 min.
Clark: Aren't you just a voice?
Mudd: Little do you know! –crazy laughter-
Clark: -looks scared- Um…anyways…
Mudd: Is this about that Laura…Lauren…OH! Lana! Yes, is this about that Lana girl AGAIN? Because if it is, then I have some REALLY good advice for you!
Clark: -looks hopeful-
Mudd: Kill her.
Clark: -gasps- I can't kill her!
Mudd: … And why not? I mean… she's killable and all…is that even a word…hmmm I must have just made it up…I wonder if I left the fire on the stove on… -starts talking to self-
Clark: -shifty eyes- Jor-el…are you…uh…going through that… 'special' time?
Mudd: I DON'T HAVE PMS! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR NEEDS! WHAT ABOUT ME? I DON'T HAVE ANGER ISSUES! –sob-
Clark: -blinks and starts to back away-
Mudd: I'M NOT FAT! I'M JUST DIFFERENT! CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM? –sobs harder-
Clark: I think I'll be leave-
Mudd: YOUR NOT LEAVING! WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW PRETTY I AM!
Clark: -is making a break for the door when suddenly…-
Lana: OMG like…where am I? –sounds like stupid blond because that is how she is inside of Mudd's head-
Clark: -stops sharply- How did you get in here?
Lana: -starts to twirl hair around finger- Well, I was like….walking home from school and like…there was like this bright light…and like I started to walk towards it and like… -spaces off- I dunno. But like…its cold…
Mudd: IT BURNS US! IT BUUURRRNNNSS!
Lana: Like OMG who was like…that Clark? Are you like…cheating on me?
FFF: -suddenly from background- YES!
Lana: -sob- And like! With two girls?
Clark" –cough- Jor-el is a guy… -cough-
Lana: With a girl AND A GUY?
Mudd: Yes. He hated you very much and wanted to kill you. Now you should run home crying.
Lana: -takes off running towards door-
Clark: Lana!
Lana: -pauses-
-Suddenly the whole fortress starts to shake and a piece of ice starts to fall heading straight towards Lana's head. Clark bursts into superspeeds and saves her…like usual…-
Lana: Like OMG you are like-
Mudd: HES A FREAK'N ALIEN!
Lana: -looks around with eyes wide- THE VOICES! OMG THE VOICES! –runs away in mad attempt to escape the voices in her head-
FFF: Now its time for….HEAT RAY!
Mudd: -throws ice cube at her head- Now, now, we don't believe in violence-
-Suddenly a giant ice thing falls and kills Lana-
FFF: HEY! Why did you get to kill he?
Mudd: Because… I AM JOR-EL! BWAHAHAHAH!
FFF: But I wanted to kill her!
Mudd: But its been like…my dream!
FFF: Well, I have been dreaming it longer!
Mudd: NO! I have!
FFF: I have been dreaming it since like… the beginning of the season!
Mudd: Yeah, well, I have been dreaming it since… I WAS BORN!
FFF: It wasn't on when you were born.
Mudd: Are you calling me old?
FFF: -once again slinks into the background-
Clark: -is sobbing over her body-
Mudd: Stop crying, it was for the good of mankind. –pauses- STOP CRYING YOU PATHETIC LITTLE beep
Clark: Hey, you can't say that!
Mudd: Sure I can, I am… THE SOURCE!
Clark: Oo'
Mudd: Watch me now! Beep beep beep beep beep and a beep beep
Clark: -grabs head- MY VIRGIN EARS!
Mudd: You're a virgin?
Clark: Umm…
Mudd: ANSWER THE QUESTION! I AM FATHER!
Clark: NOOOO!
Mudd: -crazy laughter-
Clark: MY CAR INSURANCE!
Mudd: …
-Clark is sobbing uncontrollably over a paper in his hand-
-FFF comes beside Mudd and gives her a shake of her head before they walk away. Clark slips out the door, leaving a very cold and dead Lana behind-
IN A CLOSET FAR FAR AWAY!
Jor-el: -muffled- Hello? Anyone out there? This gag is really hard to talk through… hello?
Little Bro: MOM! THERES ANOTHER MAN IN MY CLOSET!
Mom: MUDD! That's the sixth one this week!
THE END!
-in background-
Mudd: or is it? BWAHAHAHAH!
FFF: -slaps her-
This presentation was brought to you by Closet Co. Where you hide…ANYTHING! EVEN BOOMING VOICES!