I woke up in the morning with a really weird feeling, but I did not pay much attention to it. It was a day like every other. After I had fully woken up, I realized what was wrong. It was not an ordinary day. It was here again. The day when my mother had died. Another year since that fateful day. I got ready and went to the precinct. There was a coffee standing on my table, so I immediately realized that Castle was already there. I took a huge sip. Castle came a few seconds later. He sat down on his chair which was standing next to my desk. He smiled like a little boy who just got his birthday present. It was not strange thing about him, but I kept wondering what the reason for it was that he was doing now. I smiled at him too, but my smile immediately disappeared when I remembered what day it was. Castle's smile also disappeared from his lips and his eyes fixed on me.
"Has anything happened, Beckett?" he asked. I heard incredibly great concern in his voice.
"No, no. Nothing has happened. I'm fine," I said with a slight smile. I made him not to ask any other questions or details. The phone helped me with the situation. It always rings in an inappropriate time, but now it was more than convenient. We went to the crime scene. Lanie immediately told me the details of the victim. I carefully wrote down all the important information she had told me. Castle stood a bit further and talked to Ryan and Esposito.
"Guys, do not you know if something is wrong with Beckett? She seems so distracted, unsettled, and completely out of the ordinary to me today," asked Rick quietly, so that neither Lanie nor I could hear it. The boys only looked at each other. Ryan looked at the cell phone, and they immediately realized what was happening to me.
"Castle, you know today is another anniversary of her mother's death. She never takes a day off. She does not want anyone to know that she doesn't feel good. Today it's different. Maybe it's the shooting. She has another bad memory of his mother. She's worried. Maybe you could try to cheer her up somehow," Ryan suggested. Casle rolled his eyes.
"That's what I planned from the moment you told me what was happening to her. I'll try to figure something out and try to talk to Gates so that she gives her the rest of the day off. I do not care that she will be angry with me. I can not see her so destroyed and weary. You know how much I care about her and I love her," replied Castle. He was so determined to do something nice for me and make my day better. After about an hour of going around the surrounding houses and asking if anyone had seen anything, we went back to the precinct. On the way, we stopped for something small to eat. At the precinct, we began to assemble together the last hours of our victim and the whole murder board. Castle stared at me inconspicuously, but I noticed it. I did not understand why he did it and I did not care. I needed to concentrate on the case and on its solution, not on Castle and his gaze. I finished my coffee, so I took the mug and went to the kitchen. As soon as I walked away from the blackboard and table, Castle disappeared into Gates' office.
"Is that man stupid or what?" I thought. He knows Gates does not like him. He's in the precinct just for his contacts.
"Hello, Captain. I wanted to ask you something," said Rick cautiously. Gates looked up from her work.
"What would you like, Mr. Castle? I do not have time for some of your jokes," Gates replied with a good dose of irony in her voice.
"Captain, it's about Detective Beckett. I do not think she feels good today, though she does not admit it to herself. Today is another anniversary of her mother's death. It's hard for her, so I'd like to ask if you could give her the rest of the day off. I want to try to cheer her up." He tried to look hurt to impress Gates. Surprisingly, it worked.
"I see. You know, I have a good mood today. Okay, Beckett has the rest of the day off. Watch her, it's the best detective I've ever met."
Castle left her office with a huge smile.I watched him giong from the office from my chair. I handed him a cup of coffee. He refused by gesture and took both cups from my hands. He sat in a chair.
"Kate, I'd like to take you somewhere. I had asked Gates and you have the rest of the day off. You can tell me that you are fine, but I can see that you are not, and I would like to make your day and mood better," he said with his boyish smile. He was so cute and devoted to what he was saying and I could not refuse him. I nodded. He helped me with my coat and we went along to the elevator. I was a bit nervous about him as we were standing inside the elevator.
"Could I drive? I want to take you to where you want to go today." I nodded and smiled. We got in the car. The whole journey was in a pleasant silence. I knew where he wanted to take me, and I looked at him with a shock on my face. He parked before the cemetery and turned to me.
"I know what day it is today, and I see how much you are troubled by it. If you want to go there alone. It's your choice. I got two candles on the precinct," he said, handing me two small white candles. I felt tears in my eyes. I took the candles from him and I smiled. Tears were rolling over my cheeks.
"Thank you. I really appreciate it. Could you go with me?" I stammered, "I'd like to introduce you to my mom. I know it's probably crazy, but ... "
"No, Kate. It's human. I'd like to go with you." I nodded. On the outside I offered him my hand. He looked at me a little distrustful, but he took my hand and entwited our fingers. I brought him to my mom's grave. I lit both candles and put them there. I knelt beside the tombstone. Tears ran out of my eyes. I snapped when I felt Castle's hand on my back. He gently stroked my back and I quietly sobbed. After a moment I recovered a little and looked at that amazing man beside me.
"Mom, I'd like to introduce somebody to you. I've already told you about him. He's here with me now. He saw I was not feeling well, so he arranged a day off for me fromwork so I could go and see you. He's the most amazing guy in the world," I said to Rick. He stared at me with his pure blue eyes and with admire in them. He smiled at me, then laid his hand on the tombstone.
"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Beckett," he whispered, "I would like to tell you that you have brought up a beautiful, brave and strong woman. She made me a better person. My daughter Alexis looks up to her, and I also admire how she manages everything with such a devotion." I took his hand and immediately etwinted his fingers with mine.
"Thank you," I whispered, staring straight at my mother's name carved into stone.
"Always," he replied.
"I would like to go," I whispered, because the normal voice could disturb this situation. We got up and headed back to the car. Castle was driving again. I asked him if we could stop at Remy's for some food and then go to my apartment because I would like to thank him again.
I unlocked the door from my apartment and invited Rick in. I opened the wine, took out the glasses, and I put both on a table in front of the couch. In the meantime, Castle had settled himself comfortably on the couch. I sat down next to him and we clinked our glasses of wine. When we ate our food, we sat together in complete silence.
"I would like to thank you for what you have done for me today. It was very kind and I'm grateful. And thank you for the words you said at the grave," I interrupted the awkward silence.
"I did it for you. I hate to see you sad. And I'd like to thank you for what you said. I want to tell you something," he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "Kate, I love you, maybe it's not the right time to say that, but I can not keep it inside anymore, especially not after today." I could not believe my ears. Did he really say he loves me? I mean, I've known this for a few months now, but he said it now when I'm completely conscious. I did not know how to react. The only idea was to throw my arms around his neck. And that's exactly what I did. Instinctively, he put his hands around my back and pressed me closer to his warm body. I cried again.
"I'm so sorry, Rick. I lied to you. I heard you when I was shot. I needed time to get out of it and get back to normal life and work," I said through my sobs and pressed as close to him as I could. I felt his hand in my hair. He was stroking me in my hair and from time to time he gave me a light kiss in them.
"I forgive you. Please don't cry. Nothing happens. I just want to know if you feel at least a fraction of what I feel."
"Yes," I said simply, "I love you, Richard Castle," I whispered in his ear. I looked into his eyes and saw only love, care and concern for me. I could no longer resist his lips. I pressed my lips against his. I immediately felt the electric going through my spine. His lips responded to the questions that my lips was giving him. It was our first kiss in life, when I did not count the one when we kissed when we were undercover, and yet our lips were incredibly synchronized. Our tongues danced together in perfect harmony. The room around us was getting warmer, and after a while we had to pull apart to catch our breaths. We were still touching with our foreheads. We both had a smile on our lips, and we still felt the ghost of the lips of the other one. I took Rick's hand and took him to my bedroom. At the door of the bedroom we started kissing again. It was passionate. In a few minutes, we were both naked. Rick was kissing my neck, and he gave a special attention to each of my nipples. At every fine gentle bite I moaned softly in his ear. I reached out to the nightstand and pulled out a condom. I put it on on him with my mouth. I had to laugh when I saw his reaction. He was very surprised and shocked. I began to kiss him wildly again. Rick slowly laid me on the bed and slipped into me. I bent my head when I felt so much of a pleasure after a long time. We moved with each other in a slow pace. When Castle felt I was close to orgasm, he speeded up our pace and started to massage my clit. We both came really loudly and with the name of the other one on our lips. When we started getting back to normal, I put my head on his chest. He covered both of us with a blanket and stroked my back. We were both sweating but we did not care. We were together, and finally we gave our emotions a pass. That night we repeated it twice before I fell asleep in his arms.
When I woke up in the morning, Rick was no longer in bed. I dressed in my robe and went to the kitchen. Castle was standing there only with his boxers on and was cooking breakfast. I hugged him from behind and kissed his shoulder. He turned to me and gave me the first morning kiss.
"Good morning, Kate," he said, handing me a plate of pancakes with syrup. I smiled and sat on the couch with my plate. Castle took a moment to join me. After breakfast, we moved back to the bedroom. We were lying together in bed. We laughed and enjoyed the each other's presence.
"Rick, is this the beginning of something new or was it just a one-time thing?" I asked with a noticeable sadness in my voice. I felt Rick's arms tightened around my body.
"I would never ever consider you as a one-time thing. You are the most amazing woman in my life. I will never let you go. I love you," he replied. I lifted my head and kissed him. He smiled at me and I smiled back at him.
"I would like to ask if we could consider the beginning of a relationship this day and not yesterday."
"Sure. I understand why you want it." I smiled again and kissed him. I was surprised at how much I had unfreezed after a short period of time. Only through the night I could open to him like never before. This guy I just lay on loves me and I love him. He entered my life 3.5 years ago and completely turned my life upside down. Now I wish my Mom was here to see how happy I am. I wish I could see Montgomery's face when we would have told him me and Rick are together. Everything was bitter – sweet feelings and thoughts, but at the moment it did not even mattered. I was happy.