AN: I've been meaning to write this since the episode first aired, but never got round to it. Randomly re-watched the episode yesterday and it kick-started the old creative juices.
Warnings: BAMF! Kurt. Not Klaine/Blaine Friendly.
Disclaimer: If Glee were mine, Kurt would have dumped Blaine's hobbity ass long ago.
It's Not Right And It's NOT Okay, Blaine Anderson
Kurt seethed with impotent rage as Blaine aired their dirty laundry through song in front of the entire glee club. He spared a moment to be appaled by the rampant hypocrisy of the rest of the club, happy to sing backup for Blaine despite the fact that pretty much all of them had either cheated themselves, or helped someone to cheat.
Blaine's performance came to an end and he turned to leave the room, still pouting like a toddler with an upset stomach; Kurt stood swiftly, and his voice snapped out like a whip, causing the people sitting nearest him to flinch away with suddenly nervous expressions.
"Don't you dare walk away from this Blaine Anderson! You've had your chance to air our issues in front of our friends. Now I think it's my turn."
Blaine stalked back into the room and slumped into a seat with bad grace, glowering at Kurt and everyone else in his line of sight as Kurt strolled almost casually to the front of the room, silencing Mr Schue's attempt to interfere with a venemous glare that quelled the man and left him with control of the choir room.
He seated himself on the table at the front of the room and elegantly crossed his legs, resting one ankle on the opposite knee, gathering his thoughts swiftly before beginning to speak.
"Firstly, I categorically deny that I have ever cheated on Blaine. Yes, I allowed another guy to send me ridiculously over-the-top texts, texts which I've shared with several people in this room. That was the extent of the 'cheating', as Blaine has described it"
Sam shuffled uncertainly in his seat, while Rachel and Mercedes nodded.
"Secondly Blaine, I sent Sebastian a text and he was... stunned to discover that you considered your interactions together 'family friendly'. Did you know he saved all your conversations? Well he did. And if that's what you consider family friendly then I shudder at the thought of what you'd find inappropriate."
Blaine swallowed convulsively, edging his seat away from a suddenly furious looking Santana, who was flexing her nails in a threatening manner.
"Thirdly. I wouldn't have answered any of Chandler's texts if he weren't the only person in my life right now to make me feel good about myself. For fucks sake Blaine when was the last time you complimented me? When was the last time you surprised me with a spontaneous makeout session? Hell, when was the last time we made out at all? You cancelled the last four sessions you scheduled."
Here he was interrupted by an explosive snort from Puck and Santana, both of whom spluttered the word 'scheduled' through sudden laughter.
"Fourthly"- and here Kurt turned his baleful gaze on the rest of the club- "I find it hysterical that any of you dared to join in Blaine's little musical temper tantrum. I think that there's only Joe in this room right now who hasn't either cheated, or helped someone to cheat; in some cases multiple times."
Only Santana would meet his eyes, her own blazing with defiance. The rest of the club, even Puck, ducked their heads rather than meet his glasz stare.
"So. I haven't cheated; and even if what I did could be termed cheating you've done it too, and substantially more... explicitly.
And honestly, given the state of our 'relationship' over the last month or so you could make the argument that I haven't cheated because there was no relationship to cheat on."
Blaine pouted up at him, arms folded stubbornly across his chest.
"And there certainly isn't a relationship now. We're through."
Blaine's expression shifted to one of incredulity, and he opened his mouth as though to protest, but Kurt overrode him forcefully,
"You thought I cheated on you, Blaine. You didn't trust me. And having seen your conversations with Sebastian I don't trust you, I don't think I could ever trust you again."
He turned his back on the room, back stiff and face set in an expressionless mask, the ice queen persona he hadn't had to don since Junior Prom settling back over him like an old friend.
"I think I'm going to have to miss practice for a couple of days Mister Schue, if I have to be in the same room as any of these people I won't be responsible for my actions."
He swept from the room and ignored Mister Schue's acknowledgement; ignoring too the sudden explosion of noise as everyone began to scream at everyone else, Rachel's strident screeching overriding them all as she tore into Blaine, surprising Kurt, who'd thought she was Blaine's biggest fan.
As he strolled down the hallway he felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders, that he was free from having to conform to Blaine's ideas of what their relationship should be.
Free from the selfish hypocrisy of Blaine Warbler Anderson.
AN: This isn't my best work, but it pretty much sums up my reaction to the whole Chandler storyline of DWS.