To This Day
It's five o'clock in the morning and I'm already up doing chores. Family day, that's what Saturdays at the group home are called. It's a day where if you've earned your privileges, you can have friends or foster families come visit you. Even though everyone else seems to love it, I don't. Probably because I don't have anyone who would want to visit, except my little sister but she has no idea where I am. She's stuck in that horrible foster home. When the father isn't beating her, the mom forces her to do all the chores. If I hadn't run away, she would be fine, it would be me doing them, but I had to, I needed to find out who my birthparents were. Two years I spent alone running from town to town in California with no one to protect me. I would run until my feet were bleeding, until the sliver of hope I had in my aching heart was gone. I ran to escape the pain from thinking of Casey, my sweet little Casey. I might be lucky enough to make the Independent Living Program, a program for girls to live by themselves after the group home. It gives us a chance to show that we can handle everyday responsibilities. If I do get accepted, I will be allowed to be the legal guardian of Casey, which I've been waiting for since I ran away. I was going to give up on finding my parents until I saw it: last week's newspaper.
It had an article about a man and a woman who got arrested both with the last name March, just like mine. It was kind of weird the woman looked like me but the man didn't, so I decided to do some research on them. I looked up the woman first. Olivia March had kids but they both went into the system after she went to prison for credit card fraud. The man, Peter March, also had two kids but he went to prison for grand larceny. After I found this information about the people who could possibly be my parents, I called my social worker Elliot.
"Hello, this is Elliot Cassidy speaking," he said clearing his throat.
"Hi Elliot, its Alexandra. I know you told me not to pursue any leads without your notice, but I think I know who my parents are," I said a little too quickly.
"Alexandra, did you just say you did some more research without my permission?"
"Yes, I did, but I think I actually found them this time, Elliot. Can you pull up all your files on Peter and Olivia March?"
"Alex, you can't just disregard my concern! I told you not to pursue any leads because I don't want you getting hurt! I couldn't stand to have you disappear again," he said hesitating for a moment, "but since I like you I'll do this one last time."
"I'm sorry Elliot but I couldn't help it. If you were in my situation could you honestly tell me that you wouldn't try to find your parents?"
"I hate when you're right," he said letting out a laugh.
"So you hate me all the time, I see how it is."
"I just found the files. You do realize that they are in jail, right? But they have matching descriptions as we found from your parents, and you definitely look like Olivia, that's for sure!"
"Alright, so what do we do now? Can you take their DNA or something and do a paternity test?
"I will put a rush on one just for you. And just so you know, if they really are your parents, you automatically get accepted into the living program because they are in prison and they can't help support you in any way. You did know that, right?"
"Of course, Elliot, but first I have to get my sister out of that house because apparently you won't," I said coldly.
"I've explained this to you before. I can't do anything! Listen, I have to go. I will call you as soon as the results come in." With that said Elliot hung up and left me thinking about my life if I was the guardian of Casey. For the moment I was happy. For once in my life everything was going my way.
It has been a week since I had called Elliot to get the paternity test, and I haven't heard from him yet. It was another lonely Saturday, watching everyone else hug their friends and foster families while I sat upstairs alone trying to keep myself busy. I just want to see Casey; she is my little pride and joy. Everything I do is for her. Her little blonde curls and those beautiful blue eyes shining without a care in the world. I just want to be able to tell her I'm coming to save her and she will never have to worry about us being separated again because I would be her guardian. All I can think about is her, us living together, and her little laughs when she tries to hide and scare me. With my content thoughts I slowly drift to sleep and dream good happy dreams for the first time in a year.
I sat up abruptly when I heard the house phone buzz on the hook. I shuffle out of bed to the phone answering it trying to sound cheerful.
"Group home for girls; this is Alexandra speaking."
"Alex, its Elliot I have some news for you."
"Good or bad?'
"A little bit of both," he said with a slight sigh, "Olivia is undoubtedly your mother, but Peter isn't your father. With that said you do still get into ILP because Olivia is in jail."
"So one of my parents is still out there somewhere," I said in a faint whisper, "but I'm really happy I get to be with Casey."
"Make sure to pack your things. The administration has an apartment set aside for you, and I pick up Casey tomorrow at noon. You do know that while in ILP you have to attend school, maintain a GPA of a 2.8 or higher, go to counseling on Saturdays, and have a part-time job? Are you sure as a seventeen year old you want those responsibilities?"
"Thank you so much, and yes it's a lot to handle, but I'll do it because it's for Casey. I'll see you tomorrow after you get Casey; I have to make sure I get my goodbyes in."
It's tough trying to say goodbye to the people who I've lived with for a year and a half, but I know that it's time to take control of my own life and live the way I want to. Even though I am excited to leave, I am crying because I am very close with these girls. They've helped me through a lot in the time that I was staying in the home, and I will definitely miss their support. After I got all my stuff packed and my goodbyes said, I decided to go to bed.
The night seemed to go by a lot quicker than I had thought it would. It was already ten o'clock when I got up to get ready for the day. I was surprised that my roommate Maia let me sleep without waking me. I brought all of my bags downstairs and made myself some eggs and toast for breakfast.
I know I have to wait another hour or so until I could see Casey, but the wait is killing me. I decided to go up to my room and make sure I had all of my stuff with me before I left. All of a sudden I realized that I almost forgot the poem I was going to give to Casey before I ran away. I went and grabbed it out from under my mattress and started reading it.
"If only, if only, the moon speaks no reply;
Reflecting the sun and all that's gone by.
Be strong my weary wolf, turn around boldly.
Fly high, my baby bird,
My angel, my only"
I sit here crying softly remembering every little detail about Casey that I can recall. I haven't seen her in two years and was quite nervous to finally be reunited with her. It was now twelve thirty and I was expecting Elliot to arrive any moment. When I heard a soft knock at the door, I set the poem down to go greet the visitor.
"Elliot, I've been waiting forever!" I said eagerly
"Alex, can I come in?" he said with a somber tone, "There is something I need to tell you."
"Elliot what is it?"
"It's Casey, she was kidnapped two days ago…..a-and her body was found this morning."