Don't worry. I will post an update to The Rift soon. But this came into my head and I thought it could be part of aseries about the thoughts of my beloved Merry men.

Guarding Stephanie-Part 1

Just a series of short vignettes on the Merry Men's thoughts as they guard Stephanie.

Lester's POV

All the guys fight over Stephanie duty- sometimes we fight to go somewhere with her , and sometimes we fight not to. Today is definitely a "fight not to go " day. Steph insisted on going to the hairdresser to get her hair fixed from her latest hair disaster and to get " lowlites", whatever the hell they are. Since she once again has gained the attention of a nut case and is being stalked, we are on high alert. That means a bodyguard with her at all times. Lucky me.

The beauty salon is in the mall, so before we even got here, I had to stand in Macy's , sticking out like a sore thumb, watching Steph try on fuck me red pumps and trying not to get a fucking hard on. All of us guys have this problem. Steph is with Ranger and therefore off limits to us ( unless we want to die painfully). But we are still guys overloaded with testosterone and so watching her tight ass lift and sway from those fucking red pumps is going to make my pants bulge. I put my hands down in front of me to try to hide the bulge. Steph looks at me and asks, " "What do you think, Lester? Will Ranger like them? " "Um, yeah." I choke out. What I meant was Fuck yes. If he doesn't he must be a damn eunuch.

She chose the pumps and we walked out- through the lingerie department- fuck. I tried not to look too hard or touch anything. This stuff is so fucking delicate and soft and lacy. I don't even want to think about Steph in this stuff or I will cream my pants like a teenager. " Ok, think of Grandma Mazur. Think of Grandma Mazur", I tell myself to lose my erection and avoid embarrassing my badass self in Macy's. Steph had SO better not want to go to Victoria's Secret.

Now I am standing here in the damn beauty salon, being stared at by a bunch of Burg soccer moms. I look pretty damn intimidating in my black Rangeman uniform and fully loaded web belt. I have huge bulging biceps that are barely covered by my black Rangeman shirt. And I am wearing three different weapons, although only two are visible. I don't think these white bread suburban women are used to seeing guys carrying. I can't believe I have to stand here. It is so boring and I can feel my testosterone level dipping,especially since I am holding Steph's Macy's bag with the red fuck me pumps in it. But I dare not wait outside the salon. My orders were not to let Steph "out of my sight" and with all that was going on, I wasn't going to let her get anywhere where I couldn't get to her quickly.

That blue haired old lady keeps looking at me and whispering – I bet mall security will be here soon. I grin slightly at her and she looks away. Steph is sitting in a chair wearing a brown plastic cape thing. One blond hair dresser keeps pouting and flirting with me. It's the bad boy thing. I smile slightly back at her and she giggles. Damn. I briefly check out the hairdressers huge breasts barely covered by the stretchy top she has on. I quickly look away and back to Stephanie. She caught me ogling the blonde's breasts and is now grinning at me. She makes me laugh.

I am trying to get into my zone standing here by the pedicure chair of the salon, but I can't because, well, I'm fucking standing by the fucking pedicure chair in a fucking hair salon. I will never live this down. The guys are probably laughing their asses off right now. The hairdresser is putting some thick brown gunk all over Steph's head while Steph reads "Celebrity Scandals". I can't believe she is wearing foil and letting someone put brown gunk all over her hair. It smells horrible, too. That's women for you.

Steph looks like she is enjoying herself. She is over being mad at me for insisting she sit in a hair chair that was not visible through the plate glass window of the store. No way am I making her an easy target. I catch the blue hair staring at me again. Damn.. Its going to be a long day. I see an issue of Maxim with Julia Stiles on the cover. Picking it up makes my testosterone level go up; but I am not here to read a magazine. I have to keep my eye on Stephanie. I page through the pages of bikini clad women, looking up every minute or so to scan the area and make sure Stephanie is still there. My attention is drawn to the blond with the big breasts again, and again Steph catches me ogling the blonde and giggles.

I put my hand near my gun when an big linebacker type walks into the salon, but it turns out he just wants a "style." What the hell kind of self respecting guy gets a "style?" Probably gay. The salon lady wants to put the guy in the swivel chair next to Steph but I glare at her , so she moves him away from Steph.

I am on alert even when I am in my zone. No one gets to Steph without going through me first. The timer near Steph dings and the salon lady tells her to go towards the back of the store, presumably to wash out the brown gunk. As Steph passes me, she leans in and whispers, " If you want to go hit on the blonde lady, its ok. I promise to stay put." She gives me a cute grin and I can't help but grin, too. Have I mentioned that we all like Steph? She brightens our days. Except when we have to stand in fucking hair salons guarding her.

Steph gets moved to sit under the round dryer. The dryers are behind me, and she will be out of my sight. I turn sideways so that I can see her. Hey, I take my orders seriously. I can't let her out of my sight. She picks up a magazine while the hair dryer hood thing blows hot air all over the brown gunk on her head. The creepy old lady who was whispering about me leaves.

Now I have in my direct line of vision a long counter with all kinds of plastic bent fingers, each with a different color of nail polish on them. Ok, that is just weird. I hear two salon ladies whispering about the "big one" in the back. Damn. Ranger should pay extra when we have to shop or shit like that. I am trying not to squirm, but I would almost rather take a bullet for Steph than guard her in a place like this. She looks at me and reads my thoughts and grins

Thirty minutes later, all the brown gunk has been washed out of Steph's hair and it is being blow dried. It is the same color as before ; but not. The sides are shorter where they cut off the singed part. The rest has some new light brown mixed with the dark brown. It makes her blue eyes stand out even more. They take the cape off and she walks over and looks at me expectantly. Oh, shit. "What do you think. Do you like it? She asks. Damn. I am bad with noticing shit about women's hair. I smile. " I like it. It is lighter colored. It is…pretty." Ok, not the suavest compliment but she looks happy with it.

I am so glad she is finally heading towards the door. I make sure I am at least two steps in front of her. Oh, no. Now Steph is fascinated by a huge display case with a fuckload of bottles of nail polish in it. She is spending forever trying to decide between two colors that are both red. There were probably 100 bottles but they were all basically the same shades of red, purple, and pink. How hard is that? Pick red, purple, or pink. I scan the area and look intimidating while Steph spends ten minutes deciding between two bottles of red polish that looked like the same damn color to me. She seems to decide, then hesitates. She looks sideways at me. "Lester? I need your opinion." Oh, fuck. " You are a guy. Which color does a guy like best?" She shows me two bottles that look like the same goddamn color to me. She looks expectantly at me. Fuck. " This one", I say, pointing to the one on the right. Flip a coin, they look the same to me. I think. Steph smiled, " Siren Red. I like that one too." She smiles because she has chosen and I smile because that means we can get the fuck out of here. She pays 85.00 for the hair and nail polish. 85? What the hell?? I can gt a haircut at the barber for 10. Damn. I put my hand lightly on her back to guide her towards the salon door, walking a step head of her and we FINALLY leave the salon. "Ok, Lester, lets stop at Mrs. Fields' and get cookies." I like Mrs. Fields because it is right next to the mall exit.