Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim and I do not make any money from this fic.
Author's Note: Alright guys! Here's the first chapter of my entrance into Zim-dom. I hope you all enjoy! More to come in a couple of weeks...maybe.
The Socratic Method
Session One
The psychologist, Dr. Al, pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose, "Alright, Dib, tell me why you are here."
Dib sat in the chair across from him. His arms were crossed in a defensive position, with a deep scowl in his face. "I'm here because no one will listen to me!" He threw his hands up in a very dramatic display. "There is an alien in my skool, and nobody believes me! That's why I'm here!"
Dr. Al kept his face in a neutral mask. "Alright." He scribbled down a few lines. "Well then, why do you believe there is an alien in your classroom?"
"Because I see him! His skin is green! Come on!" Dib slumped, "God, this is so frustrating!" He fisted his hands into his hair. "I'm trying to save humanity, and no one will-."
"Wait, Dib." Dr. Al put his notebook down and crossed his legs. "Why do you need to save humanity?"
"Uh, because Zim wants to destroy it, duh." Dib rolled his eyes.
Dr. Al seemed to think about that response, "Hmmm, well why does Zim want to destroy the world?"
"Because he's an evil alien! That's what they do!" Dib pointed accusingly at the doctor, "And if you would just let me leave, I can save us all."
"But Dib, why does humanity need saving?" Dr. Al leaned back. "Why can't humanity just fend for itself?"
"Because the Armada that Zim keeps talking about is huge! And their technology is like a billion times more advanced." Dib shot up off the chair, "We don't stand a chance!"
"Dib, if their technology is so advanced, why hasn't Zim been able to take over?" Dr. Al got up and walked over to his desk. He picked up one of the sketched out Voot Cruiser piloted by Gir. "These pictures you've drawn of his laser guns and ultrasonic equipment, why haven't those helped him take over?"
"Well," Dib thought about that one, "I guess it's because his plans aren't that good. I mean, seriously, a giant gerbil?" Dib looked at the Voot Cruiser with a smile, "And his robot slave is utterly useless. Good for a laugh though."
"I see." Dr. Al put the paper down. He put his fingertips together and scrutinized Dib for a moment. "Dib, what do you think of humanity?"
Dib just stared at him. "Say what?"
"What do you think about people? Just in general."
"Uh," Dib's eyes shifted around, as if the answers were somewhere in the room. "Well, I mean, the kids at skool are kind of dumb. They can't see what's right in front of them."
"Okay, good." Dr. Al smiled a little, "Go on."
"Well, adults aren't that much better." Dib bit his lip. "They're actually kind of just bigger and taller versions of kids, sometimes, but not all the time!" Dib smiled with pride, "My dad's not! He's like the smartest adult I know!"
"Okay. How do you feel about your father?" Dr. Al went back over to his chair. "Is he nice?"
"Well, yeah, I guess." Dib's smile faltered, "I mean, he's not there much, but he's got a lot of work."
"Is it lonely for you, Dib?"
"Lonely?" Dib look kind of surprised by the question. "What do you mean?"
"Do you feel a little abandoned because your father's not around?" Dr. Al leaned forward, certain he was close to a breakthrough. He was, but not the kind he could've ever imagined.
Dib looked at the floor. "I…" He thought about it, "It would be nice if he was around more often, but I've got Gaz, but I guess she's kind of wrapped up in video games." Dib shifted around in his seat. "Yeah, maybe I am a little lonely."
Dr. Al forced himself to keep a straight face, even though he wanted to shout for joy at getting Dib to open up. "So, when you are not with your father or sister, who are you with?"
Dib thought about it, "I'm over at Zim's." The boy's face paled. "Wow. That's kind of…" His voice trailed off. He sat back in his seat. "Something's not right with me after all."
Dr. Al just shook his head, "Life can be tough at your age. We all have different ways of coping." He smiled a little, "What's it like when you're fighting with Zim? How do you feel?"
Dib shrugged, "I guess, I just, you know? I'm in this fight, right? And I like manage to get a good hit in, and I just know the whole world's fate is in my two hands! I mock him, he hits me, but that's okay because I get him back, and it's just so, so, I don't know! Like there's just something exciting about it! I can foil his plans, I can make him hurt, and, and, I'm in control of something for once, and I like it!"
Dib stopped. He suddenly realized he was standing up in his seat, hand fisted in front of him, striking a very victorious pose. "Uh, so, yeah, that's…" He got back into his seat. "That's how I feel." His eyes shifted around from side to side. He looked up at the psychologist. "Is that, okay?"
Dr. Al shrugged, "It works for you." He decided to ask a different round of questions, "Why does is matter if it's okay? Why do you need approval?"
"Well, uh, because I'm already weird enough?" Dib shifted around in his seat, "I guess."
Dr. Al laughed, "Oh Dib, you're not weird, you're just a boy going through some tough times, it will pass."
"No it won't! Because people won't believe me!" Dib groaned, "I try and try and they just won't listen."
"Dib, why do you need for them to listen?"
"So that those morons' lives won't be incinerated by a planet wide laser blast!" Dib huffed and puffed, "God! It's like they want to die! The evidence is right in front of them, and they just ignore it!"
Dib breathed in and breathed out, "Sorry, I got carried away there.
"Hmmm," Dr. Al looked at the clock, "Well, Dib, our time is up. Would you like to make an appointment for next week?"
Dib shrugged, "Yeah, sure."
Private Session
Dib stared at the kids on the playground. Two girls were chatting up about two different guys and if the guys liked them. The boys were playing basketball, laughing at some poor kid that wasn't tall enough to get a shot. There was a teacher sleeping on the job, drool rolling down his face.
Dib looked over at Zim underneath his tree. The green alien was tinkering with some device, muttering to himself about vengeance being his, but about who or what Dib didn't know. Pretty soon he'd have to figure it out so he could stop him.
Gaz was sitting in the swing next to him, playing on her Game Slave and ignoring him completely as usual.
It was all normal. Dib swung in his own swing a little, going forwards, then backwards. Dr. Al's questions came back to him.
"Is it lonely for you, Dib?"
Well, he didn't exactly have friends. No one wanted to be around the weird kid.
"So, when you are not with your father or sister, who are you with?"
He glanced over at Zim again, still swinging. Zim felt the eyes on him. He looked up, and then glared. Dib looked away quickly, and swung harder to go faster.
"Dib, what do you think of humanity?"
The kids at skool are stupid and mean. The adults are stupid and mean. Dib swung forward, then backwards, and before his eyes the world titled haphazardly.
"Do you feel a little abandoned? Why do you need their approval? Why do you need to save humanity?"
Dib tried to rationalize. Yes, he felt a little left out, but that wasn't so bad. He didn't really need the approval, but it would make him a hero, make him actually worth something. He needed to save people because, well…
He always wished someone would bother to save him from his crappy life.
"DIB-THING!"
Dib turned to look, and he twisted just right to fall out of the swing. He fell onto his ass with a nice, BAM!
He hissed, "Ow!" He looked to see Zim smirking down at him, "What?"
"Bell rang." Zim said, "Thought I'd help." He grinned, "After all, I'm a merciful being when the mood strikes me."
"More like you wanted to see me fall on my butt while I was distracted!" Dib got up, "I'll get you, Zim!" He tried to grab at Zim.
Zim's eyes widened, and then he shot off towards the skool. "Got to catch me first, worm-baby!" He ran into the skool, mocking his rival the whole way.
Dib tried to ignore the warm, fuzzy feeling as he shouted obscenities at the alien.
Session Two
"So, you're father has informed me that Zim is a classmate of yours and that he has a skin condition, and that you two are friends." Dr. Al leaned back, "But your version is that he's an alien bent on world domination."
"Right." Dib was looking out the window.
Dr. Al tilted his head, "Is something on your mind, Dib?"
"Well," Dib got up and walked over to the window. "I've just been thinking over things is all, and I realized something."
Dr. Al leaned forward, "Go ahead, Dib, let it out."
"I'm..." Dib sighed, "I'm all alone. And yeah, I guess you could say Zim's my only real friend." He told the psychologist about Zim making sure he got in to class on time. "I mean, I don't think he's really aware, but he hasn't killed me yet, and he's had plenty of opportunities. Also, I don't know, it's like when we team up sometimes, we're unstoppable! Nothing can stand in our way! Man, if I told you even half the stories about us facing enemies together…"
Dib was smiling really big, ecstatic to just be talking about all of it. "We make a great team, but…"
He frowned, "He's out to destroy my planet."
Dr. Al leaned back, mulling over the information. "Do you think Zim would be up for coming in?"
"No, he's very much set against the, uh, 'fleshy mind controllers.' He thinks psychologists and psychiatrists are after everyone's brains for some diabolical experiment or something." Dib shrugged, "He watches a lot of T.V. I think it rots his brain."
Dr. Al chuckled, "Well, he sounds very interesting. It's too bad he feels that way." Dr. Al motioned to the several drawings he had up on the wall, "Especially since you said he created half of these machines himself."
"Yeah, Zim is good with inventing stuff, but he's just not good about using it the right way." Dib snorted, "On time, he tried destroy the world by flooding it with cheese. Yeah…I didn't even have to do anything for that one. Zim failed all on his own."
Dr. Al just shook his head, "The things people can come up with." He looked over at Dib, "Speaking about people, have you given anymore thought about humanity needing to be saved?"
"Well, sort of." Dib walked back over to his chair to sit down. "I mean, I realized that I wanted to save everyone not really because I cared, but because I wanted to be a hero. I wanted people to like me, and well, yeah." He sat down, curling in, trying to become smaller. "That's bad, isn't it?"
Dr. Al sighed, "Dib, it's not bad." He set his notebook down and stood up. "The words 'good' and 'bad' don't apply here. You're just confused, and that's okay." Dr. Al pointed to one of the drawings with Dib and Gir eating tacos, "I had a dog that I pretended could blow fire out of his mouth like a dragon. Do you think that's bad?"
"Well, no, but it's a little weird." Dib gasped, "Oh."
"See?" Dr. Al walked back over to his seat. "You have an active imagination, you're smart, but that can be a problem for kids as advanced as you. You find yourself isolated because no one can empathize. It's all understandable, Dib."
Dib sighed, "Okay." He uncurled steadily, drawing himself up. "But, if I decided I didn't want to save humanity anymore, that I wanted to be better friends with Zim, would that make me bad?"
Dr. Al smiled, completely unaware of the ramifications of his next sentence. How was he to know that the child was in fact battling an alien menace? How was he to know that he was putting Earth in such mortal danger?
As far as he knew, Dib needed to be with people who understood him, and Zim seemed to be the only one.
The poor, ignorant fool.
"Of course not, Dib, and as a matter of fact I encourage for you to start thinking along these lines a lot more. You'll find you'll be much happier."
And thus Earth's once future savior became the instrument of its doom.