Ring ring...ring ring...
He didn't know why he had a telephone, or when it had appeared or even how somebody had gotten the number. But somebody was calling, and it only seemed appropriate to answer it.
"Hello? Hello! ...What?...No, I'm not that kind of...oh, did they?...Well, then. Perhaps we should cease these sorts of antics, hmmm?...yes, yes...goodbye."
And he thought no more of the strange call.
Ring ring...ring ring...
"Jamie, could you get that?"
Ring ring...
"Jamie? Oh, where's he got to?"
Ring ring...
"Hello? What?...I see...Oh, poor thing. Put some ice on it...well, I think they ought to stop doing it. ...Yes, go tell them. Goodbye."
He hoped that would be the end of the issue.
Ring ring...ring ring...
This time it wasn't the TARDIS phone that was ringing, it was the one in the UNIT lab. "Hello? ...Oh, it's you again. Listen, I've told you already, tell them to stop! Goodbye."
Ring ring...ring ring...
K9 was still recharging and Romana was off somewhere else in the TARDIS, so he was the only one around to answer. "Yes? Yes? ...oh, hello again!...I see...I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Is he bleeding?...No? Good. Did you tell them to stop?..."
Ring ring...ring ring...
"Yes? Oh!...Oh, that's not good...They'll have to stop, it's the only way. No more!"
Ring ring...ring ring...
"Hello?...oh, not this again! Even Mel doesn't have that much energy! How many times do I have to tell you to tell them? NO MORE!"
Ring ring...ring ring...
This time, the Doctor recognised the number and instead flew the TARDIS back to the source of the signal. Grabbing his hat and umbrella, he stormed out of the ship, across the street, into the house on the other side, past the mother holding a phone and a box of bandages, and up the stairs. He kicked open the door of the children's room, silencing the giggles from within, and bellowed "NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!"
The baby simians "eep"-ed and flung themselves under the covers.
The Doctor tipped his hat at the mother monkey and let himself out.