Hi everyone! Have you ever heard about that 'new year new me' stuff? Well that's what is happening here, I am truly sorry for deleting my stories but I needed a break.
Anyways, I'm feeling amazing now with lots of energy and ideas so I decided that the best way to start this year was to re-upload this story. I hope you guys enjoy it and if you're new here, then welcome :)
And also this story is dedicated to GirlFromGermany, thanks for being so awesome!
Your reviews and follows are more than welcomed :)
Chapter 1: Coming home
Emily Fields was definitely not a morning person; and as the alarm beeped nonstop she buried her face on the pillow mumbling incomprehensible words as she refused to fully wake up. It was early, really early in the morning; it was still dark outside and Emily whished that she could sleep for the rest of the morning.
She raised her head finally and looked at the clock; it was four thirty in the morning… too early for her; she yawned as she rubbed her eyes sitting on the bed, if she lied back again she will probably fall asleep and that was the last thing she needed. She turned off the alarm finally and stood up slowly stretching out her tired body.
Emily walked around the room as she checked on her things, trying to not forget anything important; she had been preparing her suitcases and all her bags for the past two weeks, since she received the good news so she pretty much just had to change into her clothes, grab her passport and her wallet and call a taxi.
But despite the fact that she was excited to start this new journey and that she was happy to finally moving on after all the suffering, she had a pang of sadness running through her body; she walked around her small apartment looking at each room and each surface; she had lived so many things there, that apartment had been her home for the past three years and even though she had a bunch of sad, terrible memories, she had a lot of good ones, and she felt like she was leaving an important part of her life there in California.
Finally after that small tour around the apartment she changed quickly into some comfortable clothes since she had to do a long way and then she picked up her stuff; grabbed her suitcases and her bags and looked behind one more time before opening the door.
The place looked so empty right now without all the books, paintings, and pictures; it seemed just like an empty apartment where no one lived; she took a deep breath and smiled softly.
"Goodbye" She said in a whisper as she exited the house.
The sky was still dark; and the streets were mostly lonely, people must be sleeping at this time; Emily sighed as she waited on the street; she could be sleeping too if she wasn't going to do this crazy journey she was about to do, but even though she was tired as hell, this was something she needed to do; she needed this new start.
The air was a bit cold and Emily regretted immediately not putting a coat on, it was just the cold air of the morning, probably in a couple of hours the hot air and the sun will come back but she regretted not having her coat since she had to wait in the middle of the street.
She looked around and eyed the long, now empty street; she was used to it, she was used to hear the cars and ambulances, all the people that passed every day; she just was so used to the neighborhood that she was missing it already.
She stood there for another couple of minutes until she finally saw the taxi that was coming to pick her up.
A short man with a big moustache that covered his mouth exited the car and helped her with all her bags; now that Emily was in the taxi finally, she realized that was she was doing was real, she had been dreaming about it for so many days that now that she was actually doing it; it seemed unreal.
She leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes for a while as the driver drove her to the airport; she had at least half an hour to sleep or at least rest her eyes.
The ride was shorter than expected; there wasn't so much traffic as it used to be and they arrived to the airport in record time; by the time Emily hopped out the car the sun was starting to appear in the sky and the air was a bit warmer than before.
The man helped her again with her bags and after she paid him the taxi disappeared in the streets of California.
Emily stood at the entrance of the airport for what it seemed like ages; she looked around once again taking in the sights and breathing the air of the city, she didn't know when she would be doing that again; at least in California.
It had been her home for the past nine years; it wasn't just like she had been there for a month or for holidays; she had spent an important part of her life there and now it was time to go but it was still sad, and she definitely was going to miss it so much.
The airport was almost empty; it was a little past five now and it seemed like people just chose to fly at some decent hours; Emily actually felt glad and relieved about the fact that there weren't many people there.
She hated to be in places crowded by people; she didn't like long queues and noisy kids and parents, she preferred the silence and the quietness that she had now.
She went to the check control and waited for the officers to look at her bags and register her; it didn't took long so finally when she got rid of her bags after half an hour of waiting she entered a small waiting room where she had to stay until the gates were opened.
This brought her some memories of her childhood; she wasn't a big fan of planes and she rarely did some trip but she remembered the first time she took a plane.
It was back when she was fifteen, a long time ago, she sighed at the memory and smiled, now she was twenty eight; definitely a long time had passed since then, but the memory was still fresh and she could remember perfectly every detail of it.
Like today; it was early in the morning when she and her mom arrived to the Texas airport thirteen years ago.
It was a warm day of summer, the sky was still dark and Emily was tired as hell since she couldn't sleep so much at night; her mom walked fast around the building looking for the correct checking area as she held their passports in her hands; Emily followed her from behind trying to follow her pace but it was pointless since Pam was almost running.
They were going to start a new life, after all what had happened in the past year finally they were going to have a fresh start, and maybe things could work out for them this time.
Emily couldn't remember a time where she hadn't been as nervous as that moment when they finally sat on the plane to wait; her mom swallowed a sleeping pill with the help of some water and passed out a few minutes later.
The feeling of starting something new was scary and kind of exciting; Emily wasn't a talkative person, she was mostly shy and it was hard for her to meet new people and now she was about to be in a new town, with a bunch of new people and places.
She swallowed hard and looked through the window of the plane as she thought about her life in Texas.
It had been her home ever since she was born; her mom gave birth to her in her grandad's ranch since she didn't have time to arrive to the hospital, it had been a really fun event; they even appeared in the local news and after that; her father asked her mom to marry him and they bought a small house.
Those were the times when everything was okay and life seemed to be good for everyone; and Emily grew up happy and oblivious to a lot of things until she was old enough to understand some things and started to hear her parents argue almost every day; and her dad going out to drink and come back drunk as hell.
So now, after Pam grew up some courage to leave her husband, they were about to start a new life this time for good…
The sound of the intercom startled her and dragged Emily out of her thoughts and memories; she listened for a moment and heard how a voice called the passengers to enter the plane and take their seats.
This was it, same as she did when she was fifteen and she was nervous about a new life; there she was again, taking her seat in the plane as she waited for it to start the fly so she could start a new life again, maybe this time she could make things right, or at least different.
She leaned her head against the seat and looked around the plane; the inside was big, bigger than the one she took back when she was fifteen; there were a few people already sat and a couple more entering the door.
The air hostesses were talking at the end of the plane waiting for the people to get ready and there was a soft music playing on the background as if it was a hotel elevator.
Emily swallowed the massive lump in her throat and closed her eyes for a second; the only thing that felt different about that time thirteen years ago was the fact that she was alone this time. She didn't have her mom to tell her that everything was going to be okay; even though she slept for the whole flight after that, she didn't have anyone right now to tell her that everything was going to be okay…
She eyed again the plane trying to see if they were ready to start, but it seemed that they were going to have to wait a bit more; so she slid her hand in the right pocket of her jeans and took a small picture from it.
Emily looked at it and a strange feeling settled in her chest as she remembered the day she took that photo. There was a girl on it, a bright ginger girl with long hair that fell perfectly creating waves around her face, she was smiling softly as she held her thumps up to the camera; it had been a great day when that photo was taken Emily thought as she looked at the picture with watering eyes.
She sighed deeply and blinked a few times to stop the tears she knew were about to fall and then she cleared her throat; everything was over now, it was over and there was no going
back.
She took the picture between her hands and broke it in pieces as she clenched her teeth with anger; if she wanted to start her new life she had to forget the past and move on, so that meant destroy any kind of memory of it.
The pieces of the picture fell to the floor and Emily breathed relieved as she looked up to check if they were ready.
The rest of the passengers were now sat on their seats ready to start the flight and then after a couple of seconds an air hostess stepped in the front of the plane and started to tell the instructions.
Emily didn't even bother to listen to her this time; she remembered the instructions well and she just looked through the window as she heard the woman talk.
The flight went on without incidents; the only thing that drove the passengers out of their nerves was a baby on the second row that started to cry ten minutes after the flight started and won't stop for the next two hours. Emily put her earphones on after listening to the incessant cry for a couple of minutes and put on some loud music as she read a book.
That was what she did for the rest of the time; at some point, she didn't really remember when; she fell asleep, her head against the window and her book resting against her legs.
She didn't fell asleep the first time she went on a flight; actually she couldn't even relax even if she tried to, she remembered trying to read or doing something to keep her mind distracted for a while; her mom was fast asleep next to her, her mouth wide opened as she snored soundly, the sight was kind of funny, but now Emily had no one to talk to, so the only thing she could do was to sleep… or read.
Finally after a few hours someone started a movie in the small TV at the front of the airplane; Emily didn't even remember the name of the movie but at least it helped her to distract her mind a bit until they finally landed…
The sound of the intercom interrupted her dreams once again; Emily opened her eyes startled and rubbed he eyes lightly as she looked around confused. She didn't know how much time she had been passed out, actually she didn't know what time it was, but now the captain was asking the passengers to sit and put the seat belts on.
Emily looked around one more time and saw the rest of the passengers taking place on their seats; there was a sudden silence in the plane; the air hostesses were in their seats as well on the back of the plane; so Emily finally put her seat belt on and closed her eyes when she felt the plane starting its way down.
When the plane finally opened the door, the people started to make its way to take their bags and go home finally; Emily stood there for a second, she exited the plane and walked to opened gates of the airport; she looked at the big 'Welcome to Philadelphia' letters that were at the top of the building and then she went straight to pick up her stuff.
It was around midday; the airport of Philadelphia was starting to get crowded and she had to walk fast to not get lost there in the middle of the people. Until finally she arrived to the front door where she found a big poster with her name held by a tall guy that was waving his hand frantically at her.
"Emily!" He shouted to catch Emily's attention. Emily looked at him and smiled brightly as she walked to him.
She placed her bags on the floor and hugged him tightly as she laughed, she couldn't believe that this was real; that she was finally here after all what happened.
"I'm so happy to see you" He said as they shared one last hug
"Me too, it's been so long" Emily said as she grabbed her bags once again
"Let me help you" He said politely "How was your flight?"
"Exhausting" Emily said as they walked outside "I might need to sleep for a week to recover for all the stress I've been these past month"
"Wow, I didn't realize a small trip to Philadelphia was going to end up with Emily Fields" He said jokingly
"You took one month of holydays when you arrived here remember?" Emily asked
"Yeah, but I had the rest of the summer free my friend, you start work in a week"
"I have missed you so much Ezra…" Emily said as they arrived to the car. Ezra stopped for a moment and gave her a small smile that she returned shyly; it seemed like after all these years it was lie nothing had happened.
"Me too" He said softly "I'm glad you decided to come here"
Emily looked around before entering the car; the next step was to go to the final destination; Philadelphia was just the first stop, just because the airport was there, but now it was the interesting part: Rosewood.
Emily enjoyed the view through her window as they drove to the town; Ezra put some music and started to sing and talk about his life; three years had passed since the last time they saw each other, and so many things had occurred in that time, so he took his time telling Emily about his projects and 'adventures' as he said, Emily just leaned back on her seat and listened to him.
Ezra Fitz was a really talkative and fun person, and even though a lot of time had passed he looked still the same, he seemed like a young adult male wearing shirts and bow tires… it seemed like time didn't affect him.
Emily could remember perfectly the day she met him; it was back in California when she finally found her first job after college; she had been through a massive depression before that and Ezra was one of the few people that helped her get better and find a new start.
They got a long almost immediately and after the first week they started going out every weekend; he was a cool guy, really comprehensive and they went through a lot together until he finished his internship that same year and went out of California to find a more stable job.
It was funny how in such a short time, they got to be the best friends ever; actually he was in California for just a year but they started a really nice friendship, so Emily felt really sad and alone after he left.
And now there were they; after a long time, sitting in Ezra's car, listening to music, and talking about their lives just as they did in the old times.
The drive wasn't too long; Rosewood was just a few miles so they arrived there sooner than expected, and as they approached the destination Emily felt a pang of sadness, happiness and something else she didn't understood in the pit of her stomach.
"We're here, home sweet home" Ezra said as they exited the car. He opened the trunk to grab the bags and suitcases so he didn't noticed Emily's expression.
13 years ago
"We're here ladies" The taxi driver said happily as he stopped the car in front of the new house.
"Emily" Pam said waking Emily up "Em!" She repeated. Emily opened her eyes and realized that the car had stopped which meant that they were in their destination finally.
"I'll help you with the bags" The man said exiting the taxi and walking to the trunk.
Pam opened the door and walked outside with a bright smile on her face as she looked at the house in front of them.
"I'm so happy about this" She said covering her mouth with her hands. Emily stood next to her trying to seem as excited as her mother. "Aren't you happy Emmy?" Pam asked with watering eyes "Aren't you?" She repeated
"Uh yeah" Emily said eyeing the house "I am…"
"We are going to be so happy here! I can see it, no more arguments, and no more alcohol… no more crying" Pam said
"Alright ladies, I left the bags on the porch" The man said dragging Emily and Pam out of the dreams; he extended his hand to receive the money and then he left happily probably to pick up his next client.
Pam and Emily walked to the porch to grab the bags; Pam was visibly happy, she seemed to be a complete new person now; and Emily was happy about it, she was tired of seeing her mother cry at nights and being stressed and depressed 24/7; but also she wondered how she was going to be able to fit in a new town, and how she was going to be able to start again in a place where she didn't know anyone.
"Come on Emmy!" Pam beamed happily as she opened the door "Home sweet home" She added
"Yeah… home" Emily mumbled grabbing her bags and entering the house
Present day
"Home…" Emily whispered as she eyed the street. This was so different to the first time she arrived there; first of all, the first time she arrived to a nice calm neighborhood full of small houses with gardens and kids playing on the streets; and second her mom was there to spread happiness and good feelings and love.
Now even though Ezra was there to spread the good feelings too, it wasn't the same; Pam was probably in her house doing something or maybe she was outside who knew…
Emily wondered how her mother was; it was something she did every day, she sat in her bed at nights before going to sleep and thought about Pam; she tried to imagine what she would be doing, maybe she still liked cooking as much as she liked it when Emily was a kid; or maybe she found love again… maybe she moved to a new house… those questions filled Emily's mind every day but she didn't know the answers.
The second thing was that now they weren't in a small, calm neighborhood; they were right in the center of Rosewood; there were buildings and shops, lots of people… it was really different.
"I hope you don't mind the place" Ezra said apologetically as they walked through the street "It was the only thing I could find in such a short time" He said
"It'll be fine" Emily answered
The Rear Window Brew was a small cafeteria placed in the center of Rosewood; thirteen year ago it was even smaller and its owner was an old man that seemed to be mad all day that hated kids and rarely let Emily and her friends go there.
Now it was a completely different place; it was still a small cafeteria but it was completely changed, the design was different it was painted in a new green color with lights outside and nice tables; it seemed like a really nice place.
Emily took her time observing it with an amazed look; somethings change for the better, she thought as she smiled softly.
"So, let's meet your new place" Ezra said looking in his pocket for the keys.
Emily looked at the cafeteria and looked at Ezra and then she realized something as he opened the door.
"This is it?" Emily asked curiously as she watched Ezra entering the door next to the cafeteria
"Yep" Ezra said "I told you I couldn't find something better" he added.
They walked into the small building, and the first thing they noticed was the sweet smell of bakery, probably coming from the Brew. And the next thing they noticed was that there was no elevator there, so they had to carry all the bags upstairs.
"And this is the last one" Ezra said wiping some sweat droplets from his forehead as he placed the bag on the floor "Finally" He said proudly
"I'm totally loving this place" Emily joked as she reached for the keys to open the door.
"Don't worry, if you don't like the place you can totally look for some other flat or house near here, the owner make you a contract until December so once it's finished you're free to move" Ezra said
"Maybe I will" Emily said smiling as they entered the place.
It was a small apartment; actually the correct word to define the place was studio, it was a small studio with one big living room, really well decorated and giant windows that allowed a lot of light to enter the place and offered a nice view of the town, the rest of the place was a small kitchen next to the living room, a bathroom with a nice big tube and a bedroom with a king size bed and once again big windows and obviously a room with a desk in the middle probably a nice place for Emily to work.
She sighed deeply as she eyed the place; it wasn't that bad actually, she was still used to her apartment in California but it wasn't that bad at all, she could get used to it for the moment; it was perfect to start a new life.
"What do you think?" Ezra asked when he finished entering the bags. Emily turned around and looked at him with a smile
"I like it" Emily said simply
"Really?" He asked
"Yeah, it's nice and not so far from work so… thank you" Emily said
"That's why I chose this place, it was near Rosewood high and it's warm and nice" Ezra commented looking around
"Thanks" Emily repeated "But not only for this… I wanted to thank you for helping me so much this time… for offering me the job and everything; it means a lot to me" She said
"You don't have to thank me anything Em" Ezra said approaching her "We're friends and I am here to help you, or for whatever you need" He said
Emily nodded lightly and hugged him tightly for a while; she felt her eyes watering and did an effort to avoid the tears; she didn't want to start crying again.
But she was really glad of this opportunity she was having; she had a new job in a 'new' town and had the chance to meet new people so maybe this was what she needed to change her life finally and start fixing things up.
"Okay" Ezra said as they pulled apart "I am so glad to have you here… and we totally have to hang out as we did in the past, but I have to go" He said apologetically
"It's okay" Emily said
"Really? I thought you might need company" He said
"I'm fine Ezra, actually I could use some time alone to place my stuff, and think and maybe sleep a bit" Emily said smiling
"Okay, but just call me if you need anything" Ezra said seriously "You have my number"
"Thanks" Emily said
Ezra walked outside and once Emily heard the door she sat on the couch and let out a deep sigh; she looked around once more and closed her eyes for a moment as she tried to think what to do next; she was tired, she could use some sleep, but also she didn't want to wait too long to start placing her things…
"This is it" She said in a whisper
This was real; finally she left her life in California and after all this time she was back in Rosewood; this wasn't the way she wanted things to go, but at least she left all her troubles back in California, now she had a new start.
She let out a sob and after a ling week of avoiding her feelings she allowed herself a few moments to cry; a couple of tears feel down her cheeks and after that she was crying without restrictions as she thought about her life.
The image might seem ridiculous; she was alone, sitting in her living room crying and sobbing desperately (alone) as she thought about all the mistakes she made in her life while all her bags lied on the floor waiting to be opened. But there she was; alone.
She laughed a bit as she wiped her tears and looked around the living room, this wasn't the way she wanted her life to go, but at least now she had the chance to make things right…
The laughter died in her lips and she stood up finally wiping the rest of her tears with the back of her hand.
"Let's do this" She said out loud as she grabbed the first bag.
She had sent a couple of boxes last week with some of her stuff; some paintings and pictures; also all her books were there already; Ezra didn't know where to place them so he left the boxes piled on a corner and all the pictures were on the table.
Emily approached the pictures and eyed them for a brief moment; she loved to have pictures around her, they were memories, moments of her life that were trapped on a photo that could last for a long time so she loved it.
She put on some music and stood in the middle of the living room stretching out her tired body and took a moment to sing a bit of the song; then she started to unpack her suitcases.
They say that you don't know how much things you have until you have to pack them, or something like that; and Emily really had no idea of how many things she actually had.
Starting for clothes; she had tones of clothes, she had two big suitcases completely full of clothes; summer clothes, winter clothes… she spent a couple of hours placing everything in the closet and the drawers.
And then she started to place all the books on the shelves and all the paintings on the wall; she pretty much tried to unpack as much as she could that day so she just had a couple of boxes left with some decorations and maybe some trophies or something; she could unpack those other day.
It was nearly seven when she finally finished and she found herself once again sat on her couch looking around; she was proud of her job; now she could say that the place was definitely hers, now that her stuff was all over the apartment.
She sighed deeply and stood up after a moment; now that she was a bit settled down it was time for a little walk around the town.
It had been a long time since she was there so she wanted to see how much Rosewood changed while she was away; or if it didn't change at all.
Emily grabbed her keys and exited the building with decision and curiosity, now that she was there finally she was starting to feel a slight happiness for the first time in years; it was like the old time when she had nothing to worry and she was just happy to have all her friends and family with her and nothing else mattered.
She took her time walking and checking every spot of the town she remembered; it was weird to see new buildings and new faces all around, but she liked it, it was as if she was rediscovering the town, and it was really interesting.
Her steps finally took her to a very familiar neighborhood; she slowed her pace as she took in the sights and then she sighed deeply when a strange feeling came over her; this was the place where she spent the last part of her childhood; she remembered exactly every single thing she lived there, since the moment she and her mom arrived there to when she met the girl who ended up being her best friend… she remembered a lot of things and all the memories hit her really hard when she walked through the street.
She walked a few houses and wondered if there were still the same families living there; she never asked about them, so she didn't know if her friend were still living in Rosewood…
And then after walking a bit she arrived to a really familiar house; she stopped right in front of it and looked at the door for a moment.
The exterior wasn't really changed, it seemed a bit older but it was still as she remembered it. Then she looked at the windows to check if there was some activity inside; there was a car parked in the garage so that meant that Pam was in the house.
Emily smiled sadly at the memory of that car; her mom bought it a month after they moved there; when she finally started working and she realized that she needed a car.
That year changed Emily's life, but it seemed like that change opened the door to other changes to hit her life constantly; because after that, even if her life seemed to be taking the right way; she completely lost herself; and that was something she was going to regret for the rest of her life.
She walked around the house and stopped when she spotted some movement inside; she approached a small window on the back of the house and looked through it carefully.
The view made her stomach twist and her heart ache; this was something she hadn't seen for so many years that she completely forgot that image.
Pam was in the kitchen; she was wearing blue jeans and a red sweater that made her look younger; she actually seemed to be in pretty good shape. Emily looked at her for a long moment and observed every movement she made.
She was cooking something; probably dinner, and she was putting a lot of effort into it; actually she seemed to be preparing dinner for two people; Emily ran her gaze along the kitchen and spotted the table, there were two plates, and two glasses…
She never thought about that possibility… had Pam met someone? It wouldn't be so strange, after all she had all the right to move on with her life.
Emily sighed deeply once again as she thought about everything; it had been nine years since the last time she saw her mom; since the last time she saw Rosewood; she just disappeared one day… so she didn't know how to enter everyone's life again, it wasn't so easy as it seemed.
She was still engrossed in her thoughts when she accidentally stepped with some plants that were on the way. It wasn't something relevant but it made some noise and that seemed to startle Pam.
Emily noticed that Pam stopped the cooking and looked in her direction; so she immediately moved to the side and tried to find some place to hide.
She heard Pam's steps and in the last moment she ran to a tree near her and hide behind it trying not to make much noise.
"Hello?" Pam said curiously opening the window. Emily covered her mouth trying to hold back a sob… this was the first time in nine years that she heard Pam's voice. Pam repeated the question and then she just muttered a small 'It must've been a cat' as she closed the window.
Emily let out a sigh of relieve when she heard her mom closing the window again and started to walk back to her house.
This was going to be really complicated; how was she supposed to do this? She couldn't just knock on the door and say hi after all this time; or maybe that was exactly what she had to do; maybe she just had to go there and see what happened, but she felt so guilty for running away the first time that she thought that it was impossible for Pam to forgive her…
One of the things that kept her in California was that she was really scared of facing her mom and the people in Rosewood; she hurt them so bad by running away without explanations and now that she was back it was going to be complicated.
After her walk around the town she realized that it was kind of late; she went to the grocery shop to buy some food and then she went to her new apartment where she ordered a pizza and ice cream.
She could think properly with her stomach full; and maybe she could think properly tomorrow after a few hours of sleep.
She raised her glass of wine to the air and looked around the living room as she smiled; she might feel like shit with all the confusing feelings inside of her but today was still a really important day in her life.
"Happy birthday Em" She said "Twenty eight fucking years" She said before taking a big sip
"Twenty eight years… and I'm still as lost as when I was fifteen…" She said sadly
Have a wonderful night/day :)