Disclaimer: I don't not own Star Trek or any of it's characters. Do you THINK I would be here If I did?! So I do not in any way shape or form own any of the plot or the characters. They belong to whoever owns 'em. I just took the general idea for a test jaunt. So, don't sue me...not that it would be beneficial, as I am a poor university student, yadda yadda yadda.
Authors Note #1: This story was inspired by the Star Trek Voyager episode: "Twisted", which was the twenty-second episode in the first season. I liked the idea of some outside force moving rooms and decks about like the 'Spatial distortion' did to Voyager in that episode. Is it just me or does anyone else realize the deliciously naughty possibilities that could result.
Authors Note #2: This is a tame Spock and McCoy slash boys and girls, so count yourselves as warned. Why Spock and McCoy you ask? Well, other then the fact that they are both undeniably delicious, it is simply this, no two people who argue that much, all the time, about virtually nothing cannot not have a love on for the other. Thats my reasoning anyway. Pah! Like anyone really needs an excuse to slash them together anyway!?
Please read and review. I am excited to see what you all think. I am open to comments, advice, and constructive criticism.
What A Hand Towel Can't Hide – 'To Hell in a Hand Basket'
The crew of the USS Enterprise were used to handling adversity, in fact their Captain seemed to thrive on it. As the flag ship of the Federation they were used to the nearly nonstop conflict and strange alien encounters that seemed almost normal when they left space dock. Sometimes the red alert alarm seemed to get as much use as the food synthesizers. Each new day seemed to present some new and exciting mystery to solve, or some life threatening plague to be cured. If there was one thing to be said about life on the Enterprise, it was certainly anything but dull.
Major emergencies, alien apocalypses, raging Klingons and daring space battles were simply life as per usual aboard the ship. The crew took each new encounter or occurrence in stride, continuing to go about their business with the confidence that came from years of Star Fleet training and the reassurance that came with knowing that their Captain was one who could be both respected, and trusted.
In short, the Captain and crew of the star ship Enterprise could take a lot of abuse. But this...this was just about too much. The last three days hadn't just been punishing on their bodies, but their pride had also taken quite the beating as well.
It had all began almost forty-eight hours earlier when their sensors had detected a strange, unidentified spacial distortion approaching from directly ahead. Unconcerned the Captain had bowed to Spock's wishes and had treated the phenomenon as a scientific curiosity, changing course out of it's path but staying close enough to record scientific data.
Unfortunately when it happened, the words of warning were barely out of the Vulcan's mouth before it was too late. As the first edges of the wave approached, the phenomenon abruptly expanded, closing about the ship in much the same way a rattlesnake swallows it's prey, with unbelievable speed, but a slow digestion process.
The yelling chaotic chaos of the bridge abruptly fell silent as a strange, ominous hum echoed through the bridge halting crewmen in mid-order as the view screen abruptly went black as even the stars disappeared, their light unable to permeate the encroaching mass just as the nose of the ship was engulfed.
But the moment of tentative calm was short lived, as seconds later the bulkheads around them shifted and with a deafening screech the ship was send into an uncontrolled tumble, the stabilizers partially failing as an inner eddie caught them in mid-flight, sending equipment and crewmen alike flying.
However the real action was not riveted to the Captains seat as one might surmise. It was in fact to be seen on the far side of the bridge with Doctor McCoy and Spock. Just before the impact McCoy had been perched at his usual spot behind Jim's chair, his arms crossed in front of him in his commonly relaxed way.
As usual, Spock and the good doctor had been arguing, the subject of the quarrel was later forgotten, but apparently McCoy was under the impression that he had won, as the ghost of a 'I told you so' smirk was still playing across his lips even as the tall Vulcan turned back to his station, the raised arch of his eyebrow the only evidence of his feelings. They both seemed absolutely, painfully oblivious to the sexual tension that virtually crackled around them whenever they were together.
To nearly everyone else, their constant arguing and bickering had turned over the years into a sort of strange flirtation, and Kirk could hardly restrain a roll of his eyes as they started up again, the cogs and wheels turning madly in his brain as he formulated yet another rather clandestine fantasy of trying to get his two best friends to face facts and just have at each other already.
The moment the horrendous noise had ripped though the deck Spock had swiveled in his chair, turning towards the Captain just as the distortion sent the ship in a uncontrollable tumble. It was pure ironic fate that set the rest in motion.
Caught off guard McCoy hadn't even had a moment to grab a hold of something, and when the gravity failed he flew into the air, catapulting over both the Captains chair and the adjoining railing. Spock, having turned towards him, even as he had braced himself against the chair with a one-armed death grip on the armrest, his brain was working at a level that greatly surpassed the cognitive abilities of any human, dumping sensory output in his brain faster then it took to blink, and therefore, his eyes were able to catch the flying blue blur of the smaller man, and with all the strength and speed of his race he lunged forward, arms outstretched in order to catch him.
It had apparently not occurred to the Vulcan that launching himself out of his own chair and into a gravity-less stew of flying people and equipment, all to catch a man that would probably only have a few bruises to show for his undoubtedly brief launch through the air was not the most logical course of action. But then again, as we have learned...sometimes logic has nothing to do with the actions and feelings of people, Vulcan or not.
In one smooth movement he had caught the doctor in mid air, curling his body around that of the other man, protecting him as momentum threw them across the bridge to slam into the opposing wall. For a brief moment both were too stunned to move, neither noticing their intimate position as they both focused on bringing back the oxygen that had been forced from their bruised lungs.
But then, quite suddenly, their eyes both snapped open. Deep blue eyes meeting with those slanted dark brown ones, a twin sensation of heated electricity running down their spines at their closeness, both hardly daring to even quiver as they realized what had just happened. Kirk was just climbing back to his seat when he caught sight of the two of them, a rumpled pile of uniforms and limbs at the far corner of his bridge, half hidden underneath the ledge of a console.
They were sprawled together in an embrace as close and heated as a pair of lovers. With Spock astride the stunned doctor, an arm still wrapped tightly around McCoy's waist, the other curled around his head, protecting him at every turn. Their legs were wrapped together, with one of Spock's slipped in between the doctors, and one of the doctors resting sensually across the Vulcan's hip. It might have, for all intents and purposes, seemed like an innocent encounter, but that notion was deemed utterly inaccurate when Kirk gazed at them more closely.
As instead of immediately separating, they stayed locked together, just staring at each other, their erratic breathing continuing far after they had both regained their breath. Instead of the doctors usual scathing remarks, or biting comments, he stayed mute. His mouth half open in something akin to stunned surprise.
If Spock had been in any position to realize it, he might have been able to experience a sense of supressed triumph at finally rendering the acid-tongued, Georgian physician utterly speechless. But he too, for once, could not comment. He seemed caught in the doctors gaze just as fully as the doctor was to his, a single eyebrow arched as he attempted to process the feelings that were rippling unhindered through his psyche as he held the blue eyed man. And as if that wasn't enough, in their rather graceless landing McCoy's hands had wrapped about the Vulcan's back and arms, his nails digging into his skin. The unconscious movement originally made to steady himself had turned undoubtedly erotic when he did not remove his hands, his grip coupled with Spock's bringing their lower bodies up to brush the other.
Their heated staring match continued until the overheated console above them sputtered into spark and flame, clearly displeased at the intense strain it had been put through. But the noise and wavering flame was enough to break them from their inner turmoil and snap them back to the impending embarrassment of reality.
Spock visibly shook himself, as if trying to mentally shake his confused emotions and addled brain back into order. And with the grace of a feline he arched up, effortlessly unfolding his long limbs from the doctors and regaining his footing, staring down at the doctor for a moment before offering his hand down to him.
The doctor in the meantime had leveled himself up on his elbows, and for a long moment simply stared at the emasculate, long fingered hand above him, for finally reaching up and taking it. The two men maintained the contact only as long as necessary before they both parted, Leonard's embarrassed, and slightly uncertain countenance covertly displayed in the quick clearing of his throat and the slight fidgeting he made as he straightened his rumpled uniform.
As both men retook their posts, it was apparent to Jim that they were under the impression that no one had noticed a thing, but both were undeniably ruffled, as if they had suddenly found themselves on a unfamiliar playing ground, no longer knowing the rules and the strategy they were to play by. And for a brief moment, before the all consuming chaos of the bridge resumed, Kirk had a moment to pause and grin, his hand caressing his chin as he pondered the implications of this unorthodox, yet fortuitous encounter.
'Could this be that first step?' He wondered as he eyed the two men, who were both determinedly looking any where but each other. 'Who knows what the future will bring?' He thought with a final smile, before he finally returned to his own reality and barked out an order for a status report, bending over to aid a pretty, red-headed yeoman out from under a tangle of other crewmen, his smile, while not meant for her, earned him a heated glance from the fiery haired officer.
True to form it didn't take the crew of the Enterprise long to ascertain their predicament. They soon determined they were caught in a spatial distortion wave, one which Spock hypothesized, by estimating the waves rate of ionic decay, had it's origins in the far reaches of the galaxy, possibility as far as the unexplored Delta quadrant.
They were caught fast in the wave, unable to either go to warp or communicate with the outside as the distortion seemed to have a dampening effect on their equipment. After a long number of rather frustrating and unfruitful hours even Scotty gave up, leaving the warp core in a right foul mood, swearing himself cross-eyed before tactfully informing the Captain. They weren't going anywhere anytime soon.
It took the Science team a few hours, but with Spock heading the team they finally determined that the only thing they could do was wait. Estimating that in close to ninety-six hours the distortion wave would release them and continue on it's relentlessly unstoppable way, undoubtedly to continue terrorizing other star ships throughout the galaxy as it went.
However there was no chance to even think much into the greater scope of their predicament. Repair crews were virtually crawling about every square inch of the ship, mending all the damage they had sustained when the wave had first hit. Engineering was knee deep in warp core analysis as Scotty still soldiered on with his orders, vainly attempting to to coax the life back in his precious engines. Yeoman were turned into glorified messenger-boys as ship-wide communications failed soon after the warp core did. And McCoy and his staff were soon elbow deep in broken bones, scrapes, bruises and concussions as the wounded began to pour into the sickbay from every corner of the ship.
Indeed the first officer seemed to be the only crew member who seemed largely unaffected by there predicament and indeed seemed to be almost enjoying himself as he poured over the scientific data that the senors were collecting, uttering only a half-whispered 'fascinating' as he arched a customary brow as he came across a particularly interesting piece of data.
However, as the Captain would later record in his log, the next event simply added insult to injury, wounding his already ruffled pride. As if being held motionless, floating in a stream of intergalactic backwash wasn't enough, no one was prepared for the full effects of the phenomenon.
It began innocently enough in random areas of the ship. Someone would open a supply cabinet, and instead of presenting the desired supplies the person would be greeted by a bare wall, as if it had always been a door to no where. However things soon turned much more serious, with the entire corridors suddenly leading to the wrong places. Or doorways that took you to the right place, but transported you halfway across the ship when you exited by them.
Soon a person to heading to the Bridge might suddenly find themselves in Hydroponics, and those heading to Engineering would end up in Sickbay. And before the Bridge crew could even fully form a working hypothesis half their crewmen were missing, likely stuck in different parts of the ship, scurrying around like rats in a maze. Even the Bridge was affected with Kirk ordering all his staff to exit out through the access ports after he watched Lieutenant Sulu simply disappear from sight as he stepped into the Turbo lift, winking out of sight as if he hadn't even been there in the first place.
As the good doctor would put it, everything was going 'to hell in a hand basket', with half the command crew scattered around the ship, working their tails off to keep the ship running, while the other half were still stuck in various area of the ship.
Of course, the infallible Mister Spock soon determined what was going on. The spatial wave was causing internal distortions inside the Enterprise, in a sense, warping the entire structural layout of the ship. An inevitably harmless, but annoying effect of the distortion wave they were immersed in.
Everyone was being run ragged, it was virtually impossible for the replacement shifts to locate their respective duty stations, and some were even still stuck on their quarters caught in some sort of perverse loop as their doors opened to the bathrooms and their bathrooms exiting back into the room again. However, even amidst all the frenzied repairs and data collecting, our two deluded boys managed to run into each other a number of times, finding their thoughts straying back to the incident on the bridge with far more frequency then either were comfortable with.
In short it was over forty-eight before they were both relieved, respectfully but firmly kicked out of their posts by the Captain himself, his no nonsense tone broaching no argument as he ordered them both to a few solid hours of rest.
So as it happened, from opposite sides of the ship, both men started carefully down the corridors towards their quarters, tri-corders beeping tinnily through the near deserted halls as they skirted the ever changing distortions, for once their minds focused on the same thing: a shower, a square meal, and rest...and not necessarily in that order either.
But this is not my story to tell, and as such since we are beyond all the technical, explanatory mumbo-jumbo I will let the boys handle it from here...