A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
"See you in the fall?" Beckett asked hopefully.
Castle paused to turn and look at her almost impatiently, as if he wanted to get out of the precinct as fast as he could.
"See you in the fall." He half-smiled, oblivious to her pain.
Gina lead him out of the precinct, babbling about their upcoming plans, but Beckett stopped listening. Her eyes welled with tears and she bit her lip to keep them from spilling but she was unsuccessful. Painful longing ripped through her chest as the tears rolled silently down her cheeks. The next thing she knew, someone's arm draped over her shoulder. She saw Lanie and closed her eyes, hoping she would wake up from this nightmare.
Beckett sighed and slowly dragged herself out of bed. The scene kept replaying in her head. Lanie had stayed with her at her house, letting Beckett cry all over her, and ruin her shirt. She stretched and looked at her alarm clock. Seven forty-three. Shit. She had overslept. She quickly got into the shower and the familiar scent of her cherry body wash filled the bathroom. After a few minutes, Beckett climbed out of the shower, wrapped herself in a fluffy, white towel and padded down the hall into her bedroom.
She shrugged into her favourite jeans and a crisp, white button down shirt. She looked down at the shirt, then realised it was the same one she was wearing the night of Castle's going away party. She took a deep breath, then yanked it off, changing into a dark blue v-neck instead. Her phone started buzzing, so she ran into her living room to answer it. She nearly dropped it when she was what was on the screen.
A text from Castle.
I'm coming to the precinct today.
Beckett sat on her couch and stared at her knees. The man she fell for all those months ago was coming to see her. He was the man that built her up and tore her down. He was the man who could make her laugh on her worst day. He could make her smile during the most difficult cases, and he could cheer her up when she was down. She loved to hate him and hated to love him. He was, with no doubt, her best friend. She missed him terribly, and hated herself for it, but she was dying to see him even though he broke her heart.
A ripple of pain shot through Beckett. She bit her lip, then picked up her phone.
See you soon.
She closed her eyes and hit send.
The doors to the elevator opened, and Beckett, taking a deep breath, walked into the precinct as normally as she could. There was someone waiting in her chair.
"Get out of my chair, Castle." She ordered.
"Someone's cheerful today." He grinned, leaping up.
She rolled her eyes and sat down. He handed her a coffee.
"Non-fat vanilla latte, two pumps of syrup."
"Thanks, Castle." She still didn't look at him.
They sat in silence for a minute as Beckett rifled through a file on her desk. She took a sip of her coffee as she read a paper and almost smiled, it was so good.
"I'm sorry." Castle said sincerely.
Beckett looked into his piercing blue eyes. His hair stuck up in all directions; he had obviously not been bothered to make it lie flat. Beckett would never admit it, but she thought it looked adorable.
"For what?" Beckett frowned, confusion all over her face. Castle, however, could see the hurt in her eyes, so he knew that she knew what he was talking about.
"You know what." He said softly. "I hurt you when I left." He was still looking into Beckett's eyes, blue meeting green.
"What's done is done. Why are you here?" Beckett shook her head. Hurt spread across his handsome features, and Beckett internally kicked herself. "I mean, why are you in the city? You told me you were going to be in the Hamptons for the entire summer, and you're back after nine days. Why?"
Castle looked away. "I needed to apologize. I couldn't leave you like that. Besides, I finished the manuscript in April. The reason that I left was to get away from seeing you with Demming. It hurt too much."
Beckett didn't know what to say. "But why did you take Gina?"
"I needed something to distract me. From you."
"Castle, I was about to tell you something when Gina pranced in here but then I lost my nerve. You want to know what it was? I broke up with Demming because I was willing to give you a chance, give us a chance." Beckett closed her eyes for a minute then continued. "I don't know if I could now."
She stood up and walked into the break room. Castle didn't follow her.
Beckett heard a knock on her apartment door. She opened it and was face-to-face with Castle.
"What, Castle?" She asked with what she hoped was ease.
"Kate, I'm sorry. You need to hear me out." Castle pleaded, his bright blue eyes shining with intensity.
Sighing, Beckett stepped back and let him in.
I'll do whatever it takes, to turn this around.
I know what's at stake, I know that I let you down.
But if you give me a chance, believe that I can change,
I'll keep us together, whatever it takes.
"Kate, I know I hurt you. Hell, I hurt myself, too." He sighed "Just give me a chance. I promise I won't hurt you again."
It took Beckett a few minutes to find her voice. Castle waited patiently. Finally, she said "How can you be sure? How can you be sure you won't hurt me?"
"Honestly, I don't know, and I can't be sure. What I do know, though, is that I will do everything I can to make you happy. I'll do my best to not hurt you. I promise, Kate, I would never intentionally hurt you."
Beckett didn't say anything so Castle continued. "I know you're scared, Beckett. Hell, I'm terrified. What if it doesn't work out? What if it does? Kate, you're my best friend. I can't lose you." He said earnestly.
He reached out to hold both her hands, and she froze for a moment, then pulled her hands away and threw her arms around him. He was surprised, but hugged her tightly back.
"I trust you, Castle. I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me." Said Beckett, her voice a bit muffled, as she had her head pressed into his chest.
As they stayed locked in their embrace, Beckett could feel how muscular he was. She had really underestimated him.
"Been working out, Castle?" she teased.
"Hey, anything to impress you." He shot back. "Hopefully soon, I'll be able to protect you, and you'll let me hold the gun."
"I wouldn't go that far." She grinned.
"Ooh, that's cold, Detective." Castle grinned impishly.
Castle kissed Beckett on the cheek softly, and she sighed with contentment.
"I'll always be here for you Kate, here to make you happy. I'll do anything, I swear." Castle murmured softly.
And for once, Beckett believed every word he said.