Okay, let's get this straight.

I've been off for a while, and all of my good story ideas haven't been planned out yet, due to ASOPE2 taking longer than expected to prewrite. Yes, I prewrite. And all of you other wirters out there should, too, it makes stories look better and can help you find spelling mistakes and ways to make your stories better. Not that I'm dissing anyone. I'm just saying - it's easier to take time writing a prewritten document out by hand than to just type and submit. Most of my early documents were type and submit. Trust me, it's NOT a good idea.

This is my first parody for ASOUE. It will probably also be my last, because, at heart, I am not really a parody writer. It's just not my chosen method or style. I prefer more suspenseful works, more mysteries in my stories, but don't get me wrong - I too like to add some humorous bits into my stories to break up the tension. Just take a look at some of my humorous works! Because parodies are more rambunctious, I'll let more of the humor show, and try to let go of the edginess that I usually use.

As for any newcomers to Fanfiction that may be reading this, hello and salutations! Parodies are an excellent way to start out, but also try to write other types of stories so you can find the style you like. In short - write the type of story that YOU would want to read. That way, you enjoy writing it (and sometimes, re-reading it!) as much as, if not more so than, the person who is reading your story.

A warning to those reading this right now: This is a Book the Tenth semi-parody. You'll probably see random cameos from charicters from my favorite computer games, books, cartoons, and even movies, even myself! So, don't be surprised if I pop in every so often. This is the result of a bored, tired mind thinking to herself while lying in bed on Saturday morning - it's not going to be good.

Disclaimer In Advance: I don't own "A Series of Unfortunate Events" or any of its charicters, and I also don't own "Myst 3: Exile", "The Nightmare Before Christmas", "The Amazing Spider-Man", "Harry Potter", "Danny Phantom", "Spongebob Squarepants", or any of the charicters therein. It would be awesome if I did, but I don't, so there. Don't own any of the products that might be mentioned, or any of the movie quotes that may be used, either. So there.

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Dear reader,

If you like coherent stories that make sense, I'm sorry to tell you that you've chosen the wrong one. (Hehe, you chose the wrong one! That's right, feel bad.)This tale has nothing inside of it but randomness and stupidity, and you will most likely find yourself laughing so hard that it hurts, how sad for you, BOO-HOO! A sampling of the terrible things in the pages of this tale include: Talented insects, crazy people, dueling superheroes, Squees, reversed shippers, A villain losing his memory, random shouting, and things a certain baby does in her spare time while being held hostage on a frozen mountain peak. Clearly, you don't want to read about any of this. No, really, you don't. It's pointless and is just a good excuse for the authoress to ramble. Okay, fine. Read it. I really don't care. Really, I don't.

With all due respect,

Sugary Snicket

Sugary: We begin our story at the beginning. -plays story-

Mr. Poe: Baudelaires, I'm sorry to tell you this, but - coughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcou-

Sugary: Whoops! Too far back! -fast forwards-

Violet: Count Olaf was our mother in disguise?

Klaus: But wouldn't that mean that, when he was disguised, our mother was Olaf in disguise as Stephano, Captain Sham, Shirley, Coach Genghis, Gunther, Detective Dupin and Mattathias... MY BRAIN HURTS!

Sugary: Oh dear, now I've gone too far... -rewinds-

Violet and Klaus: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sugary: There's the part! The Baudelaires were careening out of control down the mountain path! Bwahahahaha! Sugar!

Violet: Did you really have to add the word "sugar" there?

Klaus: Sugar? I like sugar!

Violet: Mmmm... sugar...

Lemony: -walks into story- Hey, wait a minute! points at authoress YOU can't be Lemony Snicket! I'M Lemony Snicket!

Sugary: Quiet, you! -ties to chair-

Lemony: gives Sugary a very dirty look

Sugary: I SAID QUIET!

Lemony: But I didn't say anything!

Sugary: -roaring- QUIET!

Lemony: -intimidated by all of the yelling - Fine...

Violet: Uh, hello? Baudelaire orphans? IN TROUBLE?

Klaus: SOO!

Sugary & Lemony: Soo?

Klaus: Save Our Orphans! DOOORRRRHHHH...

Sugary: Of course! Okay, so the Baudelaires parachute out of the wildly careening caravan, and -

Lemony: That's not what's supposed to happen! Violet's supposed to make a clever invention, and - -looks at Violet-

Violet: -is calmly painting her nails a lovely shade of purple-

Lemony: I see your point. Carry on, then.

Klaus: Violet, we have to jump!

Violet: pouts But Klaus... I'll mess up my nails!

Klaus: Blah, blah, blah, your needs! -grabs Violet and jumps out of caravan, which falls off a nearby cliff-

Violet: ...

Klaus: ...

Violet: ...

Klaus: ...

Violet: ...

Klaus: ...

Violet: ...

Klaus: ...

Violet:... that was close.

Klaus: Hah! I won!

Violet: You won what?

Klaus: I won what? -A random Myst linking book falls from the sky, Myst theme music plays- Hey, what's that?

Violet: It looks like a book!

Klaus: And it has it's own theme music!

Lemony: Myst? What is a Myst book doing in MY story?
Sugary: Geez, posessive, aren't we?

Klaus: Let's see what it does! -picks up book-

Atrus: -randomly appears via convinient plot hole- Oh no, not again! The LAST person who found my Myst book caused enough trouble! -takes book back, then links into it-

Klaus: O.o

Violet: O.o O.o

Klaus: O.o O.o O.o

Violet: O.o ... Who was that guy?

Lemony: ARRRGH! -rocks chair back and forth in anger- Atrus. Does. Not. Belong. In. My. BOOK!

Sugary: -grins- Niether does that squeaky duck, but you don't see me complaining.

Klaus: -picks up squeaky duck and squeezes it-

Duck: Squee... keee...

Klaus: XD

Violet: MY SQUEAKY! -tackle-glomps Klaus and takes duck-

Klaus: -big, teary anime eyes- Violet...

Violet: -is squeaking the duck- Yes?

Klaus: -is disappointed that his big, teary anime orphan eyes didn't do anything- Never mind. Let's go find our sister.

Violet: O.o We have a sister?

Lemony: inhales sharply Whatever. Just make sure the snow gnats get them.

Baudelaires: -start walking-

Five Minutes Later...

Baudelaires: -still walking- -A buzzing noise is heard on the horizon. It gets closer and closer until we see a large cloud of insects buzzing towards the Baudelaires-

Violet: What's that?

Klaus: Ah-uh-oh.

Violet: What?

Klaus: AH-UH-OH!

Violet: Oh. That's what I thought you said. -squeaks the squeaky duck, but loses hold of it, and it topples over the edge of a cliff Big teary Anime eyes- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo... -bursts out crying-

Snow Gnats: Hey, what's wrong?

Klaus: She lost her squeaky duck.

Snow Gnats: Oh. That sucks.

Klaus: Majorly.

Lemony: Okay, what is going on here? Why aren't they stinging the orphans?

Snow Gnats: You didn't pay us our wages. Stinging people costs extra. -To Violet- Hey, you like impressions?

Violet: -sniffles and nods-

Snow Gnats: Okay, then. -form the shape of a sign that reads "Eat at Joes", form the shape of a ship under attack, form the shape of a cat, form the shape of the symbol for female, form the shape of the symbol for male, form the shape of an infinity symbol-

Violet: Wow.

Klaus: The control!

Lemony: But that's not right!

Snow Gnats: -form the shape of a hand and give Lemony the finger-

Lemony: NOOOOOO! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STING THEM! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

Snow Gnats: You want stinging? We'll show you stinging. -fly up to balcony where Lemony is, sting him repeatedly-

Lemony: Ow! Ouch! Why me?

Sugary: Okay guys, cut it out. I perfectly understand why you're mad at Lemony for not paying your wages. Just calm down.

Snow Gnats: But we worked all day, and all we got were these lousy t-shirts that say "I worked all day and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!"

Sugary: Did he pay you in only coupons, too?

Lemony: No! I didn't think you guys would notice!

Snow Gnats: You didn't think we'd notice, eh? Fine. We're going on strike!

Lemony: WHAT?

Snow Gnats: You heard us! -form a symbol of a picket sign that reads "Lemony is a Jerk". They leave the building-

Lemony: Wait! You can't just leave! I OWN YOU! -runs after them-

Klaus: Uh, want to discuss this over Dr. Peppers?

Violet: -nods. Both sneak off to the lobby-

Sugary: Uh, I think I'll join them, if you don't mind. I don't expect anyone would WANT to review... But I suppose that you can. See ya next chapter!