This story is sort of a prequel to JUDE BONNER'S TRIAL. What was Matt Dillon thinking on his long ride back to Dodge from Hayes after being told of Kitty's kidnapping. I took a little bit of literary license with the actual script but it pretty much follows it. I write stories purely for the enjoyment of it – no profit is being made from my written stories. Darn it.
SEED OF ANGER
Matt Dillon rode hard towards Dodge as if his life depended on it. The seed of anger that had formed when Newly brought him the news of Kitty's kidnapping grew steadily as he rode relentlessly towards Dodge.
Newly followed on his white horse, struggling to keep up with him. Dillon did not talk - his face was grim as fear, dread and desperation flooded his mind. The two relentlessly pushed on until both horses began to slow down.
"Marshal, we've got to stop and let the horses rest."
"NO! I've got to get to Dodge!" Dillon's cast a harsh look at Newly even as he understood that the horses must rest soon or they would never get to Dodge and to Kitty. "Dear God," Matt thought, "Let Kitty be there, safe and sound."
Newly saw his look and understood. "I know you want to get to Dodge as quickly as possible, Marshal. But, if the horses give out completely, we'll have to walk. The Sutter's place is just down the road – not a quarter of a mile. Let's walk the horses until we get there. The Sutter's will have some feed and water, and we can give the horses a breather."
Dillon, misery evident on his face, "You're right, Newly. But let's make it quick," as he acknowledged the wisdom of Newly's words. They slowed the horses to a walk as they turned down the path towards the Sutter's home. A single light shone in the window of the small house. As they dismounted, Newly looked at Matt, "I'll see to the horses."
Dillon nodded as he strode quickly to the front door and knocked.
He could hear a gun being cocked. "Who is it?" a female voice asked.
"Mrs. Sutter, it's Matt Dillon. We're on our way back to Dodge, and we need to rest our horses. May we give them some feed and water them?
Flora Sutter opened the door, a rifle in her hand and three small children standing behind her. She saw Newly with the horses, "Mr. O'Brien, please feel free to feed and water your horses." Flora turned to the children, "Get to your rooms. Not a peep out of any of you." The three scurried out of the front room, giggling as they went.
Flora turned back to Dillon, "Come in. I'm sorry about the rifle, Marshal. A woman alone can't be too sure these days when someone comes knocking on your door. Herbert went into Dodge this afternoon to check on his uncle. You know him. Mr. Lathrop. We got word he'd been hurt when Bonner's gang took over Dodge. Herbert hasn't made it back." She paused before quietly saying, "I also heard about Miss Russell being took."
Flora Sutter may not have been the worldliest of women but she knew pain when she saw it. The agony in Matt Dillon's eyes was plain to see. Flora put the rifle down and touched his arm as she asked, "Are you all right?" She was surprised to see his eyes fill with tears as he turned away and cleared his throat.
Newly's entrance kept him from answering even had Matt Dillon chosen to answer. He was afraid to put his fears into words. The pain and guilt he felt permeated his entire body. His imagination, when he gave way to it, almost overwhelmed him as he thought of the horrors Kitty was facing. Was she alive, dead, or dying? Until he got back to Dodge, he wouldn't know. Matt Dillon was jerked back to the present when he realized Newly was handing him a cup of coffee. As Matt sipped the coffee, he realized that he had been lost in thought thinking of Kitty.
The sound of a wagon coming down the road caught their attention. Flora hurried to the door. "It's Herbert."
Herbert Sutter jumped out of the wagon and rushed inside. "Marshal, I thought I recognized your horse. Newly, I'm glad to see you're here with him."
Matt was in his face immediately, "What did you hear in Dodge? Is Kitty, I mean, Miss Russell . . . . .?"
"Marshal, I don't want to be the one to tell you this but Bonner brought her back to town alive. But she's hurt . . . hurt bad. Doc was taking care of her when I left."
Before Herbert finished his sentence, Dillon had dropped the empty coffee cup and was out the door with Newly following him.
Herbert watched as the Marshal and Newly climbed onto their tired horses. "Flora, I didn't want to tell him what shape she's in. Bonner shot her. I was standing right there when it happened. Poor woman, she's been beat up something awful. I'm afraid the Marshal is going to lose his woman."
Flora sighed as she watched the two men race down the road.
Matt's mind was in a tumult. Waves of guilt, horror and anxiety washed over him. The seed of anger grew larger.
As he rode into Dodge, Matt saw the crowd at the foot of the stairs leading up to Doc's office. He ran up the stairs afraid of what he would find. Opening the door, the sight of Kitty on the table almost brought him to his knees.
Matt sat heavily in the chair and took Kitty's small hand into his huge hand. He stared in horror at the bruises on her face. Her beautiful face.
Doc looked at Matt, clutching Kitty's hand, and explained her condition. After shooing Sam and Festus out, and wanting to give Matt some time with Kitty, Doc whispered softly, "Matt, if you need me, I'll be in the next room."
Matt nodded, unable to say anything. He watched helplessly as Kitty moaned, unconscious and unaware of his presence. Each moan was like a knife in his heart, and the seed of anger grew larger.
Even as Matt sat quietly, his mind was racing. What else had Bonner done to her? He had to know. Matt stood and gently raised the sheet away from Kitty's body. He gasped at the sight that met his eyes. Bruises and abrasions marred her fair skin. The freckles she hated, but he loved, were hidden by the bruises. Matt smothered a cry of indignation as he thought of what she'd gone through because of him. The seed of anger seemed to almost be choking him as he thought of Bonner touching her in those places where only his hands had touched for so many years. Her soft sweet skin brutalized. Matt carefully placed the sheet back over her and sat down taking her hand into both hands, willing her to live. He began to make plans.
When Doc returned to check on Kitty, Matt looked at him sadly, "Why did she do it?"
Doc was confused, "Why did she do what?"
"Tell Bonner who she was."
"Matt, he had a knife to Lathrop's throat and would have killed him and every man there and then burned the town. She did the only thing she could do."
"Doc . . . . . " Matt's head lowered in misery. "I wasn't here to protect her."
Doc patted him on his shoulder. He could see the despair in his friend's eyes. "You mustn't blame yourself. Right now, you need to concentrate on helping her getting well. I'm worried that she hasn't come to yet. That's not good."
"What can I do to help her?"
"Talk to her, Matt. Just talk."
"Will she hear me?"
"I don't know but I think you should try. Hearing your voice might wake her."
"What should I talk about to her?"
"Anything pleasant. Something she'd remember." Doc patted Matt on the shoulder again, "I'll be in the bedroom getting it ready for her to be put in the bed. Try and be positive with whatever you say." Doc walked wearily into the bedroom. Suddenly he sat down and put his face in his hands and wept. He couldn't remember a time when he felt so helpless.
Matt sat in thought for a few moments before speaking, "Kitty, do you remember the first time I took you fishing? It was a couple of weeks after you moved to Dodge. You'd never been fishing in your life. I even had to dig the worms for you. Before the day was over, you'd caught four fish, and I hadn't caught any. Finally, I got a bite and pulled in a very small fish. You took one look at it and started laughing. You were so pretty laughing. I couldn't resist pulling you to me and kissing you for the first time. Afterwards, you looked at me, and, for a moment, I thought I was about to be slapped. Then you kissed me. That was the best fishing I ever had. I didn't catch a fish but I caught you." Matt smiled at the memory.
Kitty stirred. Matt wasn't sure if it was from the pain or his talking. Minutes passed as he waited and hoped for her to show signs of wakening.
When he realized she wasn't responding, he took her hand and wrapped both his hands around it willing his strength into her. More time passed, and he began talking again. "Kitty, remember the first time I spent the night with you? It was Christmas, and the whole town was snowed in. No one was on the streets. You and Bill Pence had a party at the Long Branch. You told Bill you'd lock up, and he went home to his wife. You invited me up for a drink . . . some of that brandy you like. Before the night was over I came to like brandy." Matt grinned at the memory. "Yep, that was a Christmas to remember." He looked anxiously at her . . . .no response.
Matt bowed his head in silence, unable to talk any longer. The seed of anger grew larger as his thoughts returned to Bonner. Matt knew what he must do. He would kill Bonner with his bare hands. Bonner deserved nothing less. Matt touched his badge, and knew that if he killed Bonner, he would have to give up his badge. Looking at Kitty's battered body, the badge didn't seem so important anymore.
As daylight broke, Doc came in to check Kitty. When Matt left his office without his badge on, Doc was heartbroken. At that point, he was relieved that Kitty hadn't woken to hear Matt take his badge off.
The sound of footsteps broke his unhappy reverie. The door opened, and Bess and Will Roniger stepped in. Bess was carrying a basket as was Will.
"Doc," Bess walked softly over to Kitty. "How's she doing?" Before he replied, she whispered, "Oh, her poor face."
Doc walked up to Bess, who was wiping away tears, "She's holding her own. But she's far from out of the woods."
Will walked behind Bess and patted her shoulder as he asked, "Doc, I saw the marshal and a group of men tearing out of town as we were coming in. What's going on?"
"Matt's going after Bonner to kill him. He took off his badge."
Bess looked sadly at Doc, "Oh, no. Kitty wouldn't want that!"
Doc nodded sadly, "I tried to talk him out of it. But, I could see it in his eyes. Bonner hurt the one person that means the most to him. And, he hurt her in ways that no woman should be hurt. Matt couldn't stand it. Actually, I'm not so sure I wouldn't do the same thing if I were him."
Will nodded, completely understanding. Bess, hoping to get Doc's mind off Matt, asked, "When's the last time you ate, Doc?"
"Not sure. I haven't really had time."
Bess looked carefully at Doc. He seemed to have aged since she had seen him just a few weeks ago. And, it was obvious he was exhausted. "Well, Doc, I brought a basket of food for you and some for Kitty when she wakes up. You go sit down at your desk, and I'll fix you a plate of food."
Doc sighed, "I know whatever you brought is delicious, and I must admit that I'm hungry. But first, I need to move Kitty to the bedroom but I can't manage doing it alone."
"I'm here to help. What do you need me to do?" Bess asked.
"I need to have one of Kitty's girls bring me a nightgown for her before I move her."
"You don't need to send for one, Doc. I've got one of her nightgowns in the basket Will's holding. Will, bring me the basket, please." Will handed her the basket, and Bess pulled out the nightgown. "Kitty left it at the house the last time she stayed with us." Bess chuckled softly, "She rode out to the house one day and asked to stay a few days. I could tell she was madder than a hornet about something. Well, we had the best time for a few days, cooking, playing with the kids. But every now and then, I'd noticed that Kitty would look down the road. I figured she was looking for Matt. The third day, Matt comes riding up and walks right into the house. He looks at me and says, 'Morning, Bess'. Then, he takes Kitty by the hand and pulls her out the door and into the barn without saying another word. For a few minutes I could hear raised voices but then it got quiet. About an hour later, they both came out with straw in their hair, and their clothes all messed up. Kitty says to me, "Bess, I guess I'll be going back to Dodge now." She and I both started giggling with Matt standing there red faced. Well, she was in such a hurry to leave, she missed packing this nightgown."
Bess turned to Will. "Now, Will, I've got to get this nightgown on Kitty. You go sit on the stoop. When we're done, you can put her in the bed."
Will looked tenderly at his wife as he walked out the door, "Yes, Mother. Just give me a holler when you're done."
Doc and Bess carefully eased the nightgown over Kitty who moaned and opened her eyes. "Bess," she said hoarsely.
"Yes, dearie, it's me. We're putting a nightgown on you. Will is going to put you into bed as soon as we get done."
Kitty looked at Doc. "Matt?"
"Gone after Bonner. I'll explain later." Doc wanted to delay that conversation off as long as possible. But, his relief at Kitty waking up was palpable.
After Kitty was situated in the bed, Bess helped Kitty eat some soup while Doc ate at his desk. Kitty fell asleep again after eating a small amount. Bess eased out of the bedroom. "Doc, we need to get on home. We left our brood with their grandmother, and the house may not be standing. Promise me you'll send for me if you need help."
Doc nodded, "I will. I will. I'm so glad you came by to help me. Thank you. And, I will send for you." Bess, tearing up again, hugged him before leaving.
Hours passed. Doc would go to the window each time he heard noise in the street all the while hoping to see Matt returning safe and sound.
Doc, exhausted mentally and physically, nodded off at his desk after having talked to Kitty about Matt's decision to go after Bonner. It was one of the hardest discussions he'd ever had with her.
The sound of heavy footsteps woke him. Matt flung the door open. To say that he was dirty was an understatement. He looked as if he'd rolled around in dirt. His face was bruised, and Doc could see the beginnings of a black eye. His lower lip was split. Both hands were a mess – the knuckles were scrapped raw. Red marks circled his neck – marks left by someone's hands. Exhaustion was written on Matt's face as was the look of fear when he saw the empty exam table.
Doc immediately understood Matt's look of fear, "Matt, Kitty's in the bedroom. She's awake and doing better. She knows you went after Bonner to kill him."
Matt rushed past Doc and into the bedroom. He knelt at the side of the bed and whispered, "Kitty . . . . Kitty, it's me."
Kitty's blue eyes opened, and she smiled. She raised her hand to stroke his bruised face even as pain wracked her body.
"I didn't kill him, Kitty. I wanted to so badly for what he'd done to you."
"I'm glad you didn't, Matt," she whispered. "I didn't want you to kill him. And, I knew you wouldn't. You're too good of a man."
Matt leaned over and gently kissed her before resting his tired head on her chest. Kitty brushed his curls with her fingers. Kitty realized Matt had fallen asleep. She smiled again as she closed her eyes and drifted off, her hands still in his hair.