Okay just a warning but this story is pure crack. Just meant for laughs. This is only going to be a one shot and I hope you all enjoy it!
Megatron knew of the names that the mechs in his army called him. None of them were nice but most of them were true. He knew he was a bit insane. Always had been if you asked his brother. But one name that no one dared call him to his face was 'stupid'.
Take Soundwave, for instince . He was a mech who was supposed to be loyal to Megatron. But since before the battle of Tyger Pax Megatron had often had the feeling that the telepath's loyalty was waning. That was why he had sent Frenzy with Barricade the first chance he had. Then he had sent the interceptor and his new partner out into space alone to find the All Spark. In doing so, and keeping Barricade's location a secret even from Soundwave, he made sure that the mech didn't try anything.
Most Cybertronians were under the impression that the cassettes were merely drones. Megatron knew they were really younglings. Where their femme creator was he did not know. But since they had left their home planet Soundwave had not been 'interested' in anyone. That lead him to believe that he had been bonded to her and she had died.
After the mess with The Fallen Megatron had found out that Frenzy had almost died. It made him grateful that the twin's femme creator was no longer around. They were notorious for destroying anything that harmed their family units. That was one reason why he had the more insane members of his army kill the femmes before he took out the youth sectors.
Megatron and his second and third in command were planning the next battle with the Autobots. More like Megatron was telling them what to do then anything else really.
"When Prime attacks me I want a device that I can attach to him in a vital spot. Something his medic couldn't possibly save him from." Megatron growled at his subordinates.
"You forget Megatron." Starscream screeched in that awful voice of his. "Prime has the Matrix."
"That means nothing. I'm sure you can come up with something small enough and deadly enough that it won't matter." Megatron back handed the seeker before turning to his communications specialist. "Even better, instead of me attaching it too him, I'll have Frenzy accompany me."
Megatron snickered inwardly as he focused on Soundwave when he stiffened at his sparklings name. "He can attach the device while I distract Prime."
"Why would you want that useless thing to do your work for you? Are you that weak Megatron?" Starscream asked into the silence.
Megatron noticed Soundwave flinch as he back handed the seeker. Megatron delighted in bringing pain to others and knowing that the telepath felt the hit through Starscream filled him with glee.
"Frenzy will do as I say even if it for no other reason then because I thought Prime had cooties!"
Megatron was right in Starscreams face yelling and even though he was sure the seeker was in fear he still had a glare for him. That was new. Usually Starscream would have been a quivering apoligizing mess. He would have to watch his back even more.
Mechs from opposite factions were welded together in battle. The Autobots were falling back when Prime finally made it to the battle feild. This was the moment that Megatron had been waiting for. He finally walked onto the feild and approached his rival.
"You took your time getting here Prime."
"Not all of us are as eager to spill energon as you are Megatron." Prime took a battle ready stance and Megatron came in for the kill.
As Prime and Megatron grappled he could feel Frenzy dettach from his armor and jump onto Prime. He fought Prime with glee, knowing that his advisary was only moments from death.
It was when he stepped back and saw that the device on Prime's chest was different from the one he had seen in Starscream's lab. He stopped for a moment when he felt abnormal warmth near his spark chamber. He looked down and he could see the blinking lights from behind his chest plate. He raised his optics and for a split second and he locked optics with Starscream. He noticed the mechs around his second-in-command, his trine and one other.
Just before the blast that took his life went off Megatron watched as Soundwave walked over to the Air Commander and wrapped his arms around him.
The blast that took Megatron out glowed a bright purple as the chemicals in the bomb mixed with the energon flowing through his lines. The Decepticons had stopped fighting when their leader had backed away from Prime. They looked over at said Autobot and were surprised to see that he was unharmed. In fact it seemed like he had a force feild around him.
All of the mechs on the battle feild watched as Frenzy detached himself from the red and blue mech and rushed over to Starscream. They then watched as the seeker bent down an picked up the small silver mech. All of the surrounding bots, save the three around the seeker and two more, were then shocked as the F-22 brought the mech up to his face and started nuzzling him and crooning reassurances while Frenzy began chirping like a sparkling.
For a few moments all of the mechs on the battle feild simply stared. Until one mech spoke out.
"Does this mean I'm off the hook?" Barricade asked with an air of relief surrounding him. "That little cretain doesn't listen to a thing I say. Made sure I never wanted a sparkling of my own."
"It's different when it's your own." Ratchet said as he walked up to Barricade and clapped a servo on his shoulder. "I never envied you your task. Frenzy is the worst of the bunch. And Starscream is the most protective femme I've ever met."
"Yeah, I was expecting worse when she found out what happen at Hover Dam. Luckily he told her it was his fault for not listening to me when I told him not to follow the humans and Bumblebee." Barricade sighed as he loked at the medic. "Actually she blames it all on Megatron."
"Well it is all his fault." a high smooth voice said. Everyone turned to stare at the seeker who was holding a voice modulator in her hand. "Afthead got what he deserved."
Quite a few bots dropped as their logic processors crashed.
"Frag. You just had to say that in the middle of all the bots didn't you Star?" Ratchet shoke his head as he looked around him. "Primus, you even crashed Hook. I take it he never found out?"
"No. My sisters helped me keep my secert." Star said before turning to her trinemates.
"Where are our bondmates?" Thunder asked, her voice modulator crumbling to dust in her fingertips.
"Yeah, I was expecting them to be here. I have news." Sky replied as she hovered over the ground happily.
"They pulled one hell of a prank on Prime so they were restricted to monitor duty. I wouldn't be surprised if my hellions were on the way though." Ratchet mentioned as he checked in with the base. "They left as soon as they heard you two were here. They ran over Prowl so you better take them with you when we're done here."
A groan came from the left of Ratchet and he turned to look at Prime. "How did I not know about this?" the Autobot leader asked as he stared at the medic.
"Because you're dense." Barricade said looking around Ratchet at him. "But then again so are most Autobots."
Star and her sisters began laughing, calling attention back to the femmes. At this point all of the cassettes except for Rumble were cuddling with the three seekers.
Star kissed Soundwave before handing him Laserbeak and Ravage then walking over to Optimus. "As the leader of the Decepticons I call a cease fire. I will no longer have my sparklets put into danger. We will be moving our base to the other side of the planet but any Autobots are allowed to enter with Permission. Any Decepticons should be given the same right on your base."
Star reached down and picked up a peice of Megatron's spark casing and twirled it in her claws. "Any one of my people disobeys, they will get the same treatment he did."
Most of the bots had come around on there own by the time Starscream started talking. They all remembered full well how bad Femmes could be when pissed off. It was one reason Megatron had them all destroyed.
"How did you know about this Ratchet?" Ironhide asked from where he had fallen on the ground.
"The twins are bonded to the twins."
"What do you mean by that? Sideswipe and Sunsteaker are not bonded to Mudflap and Skids. Just saying that scared me for life. And it still wouldn't explain how you knew." Jolt said from somewhere nearby.
"No you idiot. He means that your twins, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, are bonded to the my Aunts, Thundercracker and Skywarp." Ravage said as a silver and a gold corvette raced down the valley and transformed into two mechs.
"And before anyone asks yes, Sky and I are twins. Star is our little sister." Thunder said moments before her bonded skided to stop in front of her. Thunder laid her helm in Sunstreaker's servo for a moment before they locked optics.
"Guess we don't have to hide it any more huh?" Sky said with a giggle as Sides picked her up and spun her around.
"This puts a whole different spin on Jet Judo." Optimus mentioned before trying to keep his logic processor from crashing again. His statement made quite a few of the recovered bots pass back out.
"Guess what, guess what, guess what!" Skywarp could be heard telling Sideswipe.
"What my lilac lover?" Sides asked with a grin.
"Oh stop that." Sky said as she playfully batted at the silver mechs chest before drapping herself over him and put her lips near his audio receptors.
Sides moved his head back but held her tighter. "Are you sure?" His voice was a whisper but filled with joy.
"Oh no." Barricade said. "Can I leave the planet. I don't even want to be in the solarsystem."
"I was wondering when it was going to happen." Ratchet said smuggly. "I'm finally going to be a grandfather."
At that quite a few bots crashed again upon seeing Sides kiss Sky then yell out, "Twins! I'm going to be a dad!"