"Harry Just Wants A Doughnut"
A/N: Okay, just to say—this story is NOT mine. It's a friend of mine's, and she is completely and utterly INSANE. But she's hilarious, so we all love her. She has a funny trick of looking at pictures of people and coming up with things she thinks they're saying or thinking. My friend herself has only ever seen one of the Harry Potter movies before, but I showed her pictures from the series and this story was born from a picture of the trio in the 7th film and from her oddness. Be warned- this is so whacky I think you'll be able to feel your brains melting from how utterly insane it is. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Harry: Is that my doughnut?
Hermione: No, that's not your doughnut.
Rupert: Can I have a doughnut?
Hermione: NO!
Rupert: Why not?
Harry: Cause…
Rupert: Cause why?
Harry: AH, it's MY doughnut!
Hermione: OH my goodness, Harry! That is not your doughnut!
Harry: OOOO! There's my doughnut!
Rupert: WHERE?
Harry: You're not getting MY DOUGHNUT!
Hermione: Where are you seeing this doughnut?
Harry: Oh- nope, it's gone.
Hermione: WHAT!
Rupert: Well I feel hated.
Harry: Why?
Rupert: Because you won't share your doughnut!
Harry: Hermione's not getting any either!
Hermione: And why not?
Harry: You don't even believe that there IS a doughnut!
Hermione: Well…
Rupert: Well, do I get a doughnut?
Harry and Hermione: NOO!
Hermione: Ah, a muffin sounds good!
Harry: Are… you… kidding MEEE!
Hermione: What NOW, Harry?
Harry: You're nagging me about my doughnut but you want a muffin!
Rupert: I just want something!
Hermione: Well, what do you want?
Rupert: I want a… oh crap, I forgot!
Harry: This is why you don't get anything!
Hermione: I WANT A MUFFIN!
Harry: AND I WANT A DOUGHNUT!
Rupert: What are we talking about?
Harry and Hermione: AHH!
Hermione: We need to go this way!
Harry: No, this way!
Hermione: Why that way?
Harry: I thought I saw my doughnut!
Rupert: I'm lost…
Hermione: HARRY, there is no doughnut!
Rupert: Can someone please tell me where we're going?
Hearry: Yes there is.
Rupert: Guys!
Hermione: No!
Harry: Yes!
Rupert: Guys!
Hermione: NOO!
Harry: YESS!
Rupert: GUYYSSSS!
Harry and Hermione: WHAT?
Rupert: LOOK!
Harry: MY DOUGHNUT!
Hermione: Wha…?
Harry: I'm gonna love this doughnut like I love my horses!
Doughnut( aka JEFFREY): DON'T EAT ME!
Harry: Awww, my doughnut!
Rupert: Do I get one?
Harry and Hermione: NOOOO!
Well, that was fun to type up. Yes, I know that this story refers to "Rupert" instead of "Ron" but my friend thought Rupert sounded funnier, so that's how she wrote it. This is not a completed sequence of stories—my friend is currently working on more of these "Harry Just Wants A Doughnut" tales. Updates will be erratic depending on when she gets them written!
Applause to those who got the Equus reference! That was a guy friend of ours who came up with that one!