Bedtime

Rated T

Summary: Drake and Josh have a fight and it is Drake who is mad at Josh. He doesn't want to forgive until one night he heard Josh crying in his sleep. SLASH

Disclaimer: I don't own Drake & Josh or any songs mentioned either. I just own a love for this couple.

A/N: I put the flashbacks in italics so it would be easier to decipher. I hope you enjoy.

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Drake was in his bed trying to sleep. It was hard to sleep when he was actually the one mad at Josh. That didn't happen very often. Usually it was the other way around but not this time. He didn't understand why Josh did that and how he could be so un Joshlike, if that is even such a word. If not, it still was how he was acting.

Drake took his new date Lindsay to the Premiere last week and kept receiving evil looks from Josh. That had happened before but usually Drake knew what he had done to get them, this time he was clueless. Every time the girl would giggle at Drake and Drake would smile or kiss her Josh got even angrier.

Drake asked Josh if he would bring them some drinks over and Josh agreed. When Josh brought them he "accidentally" spilled Lindsay's all down her dress. Lindsay shrieked. Drake glared at Josh and Josh glared back with a hint of a smirk and apologized "insincerely" to Lindsay but Lindsay thought he was being genuine.

The date was ruined at that point so Drake and Lindsay left so he could take her home. Drake told Josh that they would be talking when he got home.

Josh seemed somewhat satisfied because usually he just dealt with his feelings and would not sabotage another person to vent his anger. Lindsay had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

When Josh got home Drake was waiting, pacing, furiously. Josh was ready to face it. He walked in the bedroom and looked at Drake. "Josh what was that about?" he asked angrily.

"Accident," Josh said.

"Tell me the truth," Drake started to yell.

"You bring so many in Drake. I mean all the time so many, all different and you don't seem to care about anybody's feelings" Josh told him.

"Jealous? Is that it. Jealous that it's me with them instead of you? I can't help it if you want the creature. It's none of your business anyway who or how many I date or anything else with. It is mine. MINE, not yours. I'm not hurting anybody" Drake shouted.

"Not hurting anybody. Not hurting anybody! Oh my God even you can't be that freaking clueless. Well, yeah, I guess you can, you're the great Drake Parker, god of all." Josh shouted back making Drake even angrier.

"You need to just shut up before something gets said that one of us will regret," Drake told him. "You had no right to do that to Lindsay," Drake yelled.

"Yeah maybe, but you need to stop being such a whore," Josh yelled and glared at Drake.

Drake was in shock. A whore. Josh actually just called him a whore. Josh the one who was always here, the one who supported eventually even his worst ideas calling him a whore. Drake didn't know what to say. It was like he couldn't breathe and felt as if he was going to literally explode.

He wanted to hit Josh at that very moment. Not like all of the other times they have fought but really really hit him, hard, fast, and without ceasing until he could erase the words that Josh said to him. Instead, with tears of anger and hurt almost filling his eyes his looked at Josh and said "Screw you Josh, just screw you. Leave me alone and do not ever talk to me. I can't look at you anymore and this thing this stepbrother thing or whatever is just over. You are absolutely nothing to me anymore," Then Drake turned and walked out.

Drake and Josh haven't spoken since last week and everyone can sense the tension in the air. Megan hasn't pulled any pranks these past few days. There was no point, no fun. The only interaction Drake and Josh had was the glares every time one looked at the other one.

Drake hasn't went on one date since then and didn't want any interaction with any girls either, which made him madder at Josh if that was even possible. Even today at lunch when he really tried especially because Josh and the creature were around but he just really couldn't stomach girls right now and that was not Drake Parker, god of all as Josh referred to him as. It made him feel almost dirty when he thought of another girl at the moment like what Josh said to him was really true and that he was in fact a whore. And also, just why did Mindy tell him with all her (gag me) wisdom "You know you really need to look inside yourself for once and admit it," before walking off.

"What?" Drake thought. What does that mean? Why was she even interested in even speaking to him when she was just over there with Josh holding his hands in hers speaking softly and smiling at him and then kissing him on the forehead. Not that Drake was watching of course. He guessed Mindy probably saw him watching and that is why she said it, he just wish she would have either told him something useful or nothing at all.

In fact the reason that Mindy was holding Josh's hand, speaking softly to him, smiling at him, and kissing his forehead was because of Drake. Mindy told Josh almost the same thing as she told Drake only more in depth and more gentle.

"Josh you can't keep doing this to yourself," She said.

"I know Mindy, but I don't know how not to," he told her.

"Yeah you're always doing things for him and are there for him and loving him," she said.

"Uh, what?" he asked.

"Face it Josh, you exist solely to cater to him and make sure he's safe and happy," She told him almost adoringly. "You know if it was anyone else I would be jealous but I was the one that intruded on your relationship so I can't be mad".

Josh looked at her with a look of almost fear and total realization. He never would have admitted something like this to anyone and didn't even want to admit it to himself.

"It's okay," she said and put his hands in hers.

"No it's not. It's not okay. It's not okay to… I mean he's, he's…

"Drake" she finished.

"Yeah but he's my…"

"Drake. He's your Drake. Don't say brother because that isn't true and you know that. Sure your dad and his mom are married but that doesn't necessarily make you family and definitely not by blood. A lot of families get married but the blending doesn't lead to any bonding and it doesn't make anything gross or illegal," she said trying to convince him.

He knew she was right. Somehow (and he hated that) she was always right. But that doesn't change the way that Drake feels about him.

"Okay but then what about?" he tried to ask but again she beat him to it.

"Let's see Josh think about it. He absolutely hates me and why? It's because I was with you. He is giving death glares over here now and I am glad looks can't kill," she smiled again. "He loves you. He does. How can he not. You are the most loveable person I have ever met. I mean, I am me and I love you." Josh looked at her. She continued "He got upset when you ruined his date but you destroyed him when you called him a whore, and to the point that he hasn't even went out with anyone since your fight, right?" Josh nodded.
"See there, it will be fine. You will be fine. He will be fine. It will all be fine. You just need to let yourself admit it because if you don't let yourself admit it to you first, then how can you expect him to admit to you?" And with that she got up and kissed him on the forehead. Josh didn't look over to watch her leave because he was processing what they had talked about so he didn't see that she talked to Drake.

Josh went to bed that night with some music on and only one of the earbuds in his ears because he wanted to make sure he heard the alarm. He spent almost an hour that day picking out songs to put on the mp3 player that could maybe help him sort this out and then tomorrow he would start to actively seek Drake's forgiveness knowing it could possibly make it worse, but then again, he doubted that it could get very much worse.

Drake was in his bed thinking and hating the silence that had been in this room this week. It was so weird. His thoughts moved to Mindy and whatever code she was trying to give him. He rolled his eyes and rolled over sideways. He was looking at Josh and felt like his heart skipped a beat. He heard a noise that sounded like crying.

He hated to hear his… his... Josh cry. "Josh?" he said to see if the other boy would respond. He didn't. "Josh" he said louder but no response. "is he crying in his sleep?" he asked himself.

Drake got out of bed and went over to Josh's. He noticed he was listening to music. He kneeled down and took the other earbud and put it in his ear so he could hear what song it was.

A smile crept across Drake's face. It was a smile but it was also a sad smile. If anyone else would have heard what it was they would have no clue what it was about but Drake did. It was Cinderella's "Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone"

Halloween night and the boys decided just to stay home and watch TV and whatever instead of going out which was a little unusual especially for Drake but they hadn't spent much time together lately so he would just stay home. I mean it isn't like Valentine's Day when a (or 5) cute girls would be swooning all over him to be their Valentine. Ahh Valentine's Day. Drake loved it for some reason. But this wasn't Valentine's Day. It was a day and night of ghosts and goblins and all things scary.

They were sick of the same scary movies that were on so they decided to watch 80's Hair Halloween on MTV. 80's rock, metal, and everything else that involved hair and lots of it on MTV. Why not, they thought, so they did. Cinderella was their first block of video's and "Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone" was the first video played.


The boys were laying at opposite ends of their couch and watched attentively. "You know" Josh said, "The ballads these bands play are really good".

Leave it up to Josh to love the ballads. "Yeah," Drake smiled. "They are good," he said smiling at Josh. Oh my God Josh is pulling me into his web, Drake thought, and then thought about the whole web and Halloween thing and then chuckled subconsciously out loud.

"What's that about?" Josh asked almost chuckling at Drake's chuckle.

"Nothing" Drake told him.

"No tell me," Josh asked.

Drake now really feeling like he's being pulled because it is usually Josh that can't resist doing what Drake asks and now Drake is unable to tell Josh no says "I was just thinking how I think I'm turning into you or something like that," He said.

"Oh," Josh nodded. "Am I that bad?" He looked at Drake almost sad and hurt.

"No. You're not bad at all. If people could be like you I think the world would be better," Drake told him almost really resenting the way it sounded but he didn't want Josh to be hurt so he had to come up with something and well, He kind of meant it. He really meant it but he didn't want to admit that part.

"Oh, okay. Thanks" Josh said and they continued watching the videos.

Drake realized while he was listening to this song that he didn't want Josh to cry. He didn't want Josh to be upset or hurt. He reached his hand out and softly wiped the tears from Josh's eyes.

His heart ached at that moment. He realized that he couldn't forgive Josh because he already had; he just hadn't realized it. "It's okay br… uh, Josh. It's okay," he whispered.

He tried to call him brother but couldn't do it. Maybe he was doing as Mindy said and looking inside himself. But why couldn't he call him brother. "He was that wasn't he?" Drake thought. He thought about the bond that they had and the things they did together and then the way his heart skipped a beat and the way that he glared at Josh and Mindy. Then he thought again about the comment on Halloween and how the world really would be better if people were like Josh. Josh was good. Josh was great. Josh was everything.

He thought about the whore thing and realized that while that was not a term he wanted to be referred to that maybe Josh had a point. He dated lots of girls and recently he dated more than ever, with the exception to this past week and realized it was because he didn't want to look inside himself and admit it like Mindy told him to. He hated to admit Mindy was right but even he knew that Mindy was always right.

Drake got up and made sure the door was locked. He was just trying to admit it to himself and didn't want to explain anything to anyone else yet. It was something they needed to figure out first.

He walked back over to Josh's bed and took the earbud out of his ear and put the MP3 player on the docking station so it would play over speakers all night. He put the settings on repeat all and if he was right after knowing what the second song was that all of the songs were from the three hour special from Halloween, and he was right.

He climbed in bed with Josh trying to be quiet. Josh had stopped the tears almost the moment when Drake told him it was okay. He knew Josh was asleep but felt he heard him.

When he climbed in bed and laid down Josh woke up. He didn't yell, freak out, or ask questions. He was too scared. Scared it was a dream or scared he would make it worse. He did hear the music softly through the speakers though and knew that Drake must have done that. He did look confused at Drake.

Drake touched Josh's cheek "It's okay. I'm sorry I got so mad. I was just so hurt that you think I am so bad".

"I'm sorry" Josh said "So sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't want to hurt you. I just wanna love you. I do love you".

"I love you too," Drake told him. And he did. Not as a stepbrother but as Josh as his Josh the absolute most love of his life. The one who confused him and made him want to be better. The one who told him he could make it and all of his dreams would come true. The one who wanted to make his dreams come true.

"Josh, I only dated so much recently to try to hide from myself and these feelings and still would be probably if Mindy hadn't told me to look inside myself," Drake told him.

"She told you that," Josh smiled, inwardly thanking her even more. Drake nodded.

"Drake, I don't think you're bad. As a matter of fact I think if people could be like you the world would be better," Josh said and smiled at Drake.

Drake knew at that very moment (if he didn't know earlier) that he would and could never love anyone the way that he loves Josh and could never be loved by anyone the way Josh loves him.

Drake looked at Josh and didn't want to stop. He brushed the side of his face and said "It's bedtime". Josh nodded and smiled at him. Drake leaned over and gave him a very long passionate goodnight kiss before settling in his arms and going to sleep.

END.