Okay, new one shot for you guys! Yes, I know I should be working on iGo to DC or iReunite but I HAD to do this one. Anyway, there was a new segment on and it had Sam's little men's room game show thing. When I saw it, I knew I totally had to do a one shot on it. Go watch it before you read this (although it's not really necessary, but...whatever.)
Freddie walked into the men's restroom at Pini's, nodding his head at two guys walking out of the room. He headed towards a urinal. Out of habit, Freddie performed his daily neck stretching before peeing - like his mother always told him to do. Before he could unzip his pants, however, a familiar blonde popped up on the monitor in front of him.
Freddie jumped back, alarmed at the girl on the screen.
"Hey, boy!" she shouted at him.
"Sam? How…how…how how did you-" he spluttered.
Behind the camera, Sam had to hold back a grin. She loved doing these game shows, freaking out all the guys who popped up in the bathroom. "It's time to play everyone's favorite game show, 'You're in Luck!'" She pressed a button on her remote and Freddie saw a sign saying the game's name on it.
Freddie furrowed his eyebrows. This was such a strange experience. "Okay, I don't know how you got on the urinal monitor-"
Sam had to stifle a snicker as she listened to Freddie's rant. Who really says, 'urinal monitor'?
Freddie continued, "-and I am NOT playing your men's room game show!"
"If you don't play it, I'll do something bad to you every day for the next two years," she threatened him, a grin still trying to show on her lips. This was so much fun, she thought, torturing the boy.
Freddie again furrowed his brows. Sam usually did something bad to him every day. Why should he agree to play the game?
Because she would definitely up the amp, Freddie reasoned. And that would be bad, because Sam's tricks already were awful. And plus, he was kind of curious to see what the game show was about.
"Let's play the game show..." he said weakly. The sooner he started the sooner it would be over.
"Thirty seconds on the clock!" Sam announced, and clicked a button on her remote.
Sam looked down at her card, which had the question, "How many lakes, not including creeks, does the city of Oklahoma have?" on it. She decided - however funny the question was - to make up her own question.
"Okay. First question," Sam started, pausing a bit. "Who kisses better, me? Or Carly?" She pretended to read off the card, however, she really was making up the question in her head. Sam tried to play it cool, but inside her stomach was turning and her heart thumped. Of course he would say her; why wouldn't he say her?
Freddie's eyes popped open. Where on earth did that come from? he wondered. And I'm totally not going to answer that!
Freddie spluttered for a moment. "What?"
Sam relaxed a bit, but her heart still was thumping from nervousness and anticipation. "C'mon, you've kissed Carly; you've kissed me; whose lips win?" She was anxious to hear his answer. Obviously Freddie enjoyed his time with Sam more than with Carly. Right?
Right?
Sam needed reassurance, even though she kept telling herself she didn't like Freddie anymore.
She did think he looked kinda...cute, with his preppy yellow button up - which did show off his chest and arms.
"I'm not answering that," Freddie said, an incredulous look on his face. He wondered if Sam was right in the mind; surely she wouldn't ask that question if she was...normal. Well, normal-er. Sam would always be abnormal to him.
"Why not?" she said almost too quickly; almost too desperately. Sam wanted to know the answer badly.
Isn't it obvious? Freddie thought. "Cause! If I say you," he started, and Sam felt a warm feeling in her stomach, "you'll tell Carly and it'll hurt her feelings."
Sam thought that this was reasonable, but what if she didn't tell Carly? No one would be hurt.
Freddie kept explaining to the blonde, trying to get her to understand why this was such a awkward question for him. "If I say Carly, then you'll...break my legs...or spine or something."
Sam desperately wanted him to just give her an answer. Her heart was beating wildly, but she knew that he wouldn't answer. Freddie was too reluctant.
She decided to just give up. Maybe one day she'd ask him and he'd answer truthfully. One day.
"Eh, good point..." Sam said slowly.
"Just go on to the next question," Freddie advised her. It surprised him that he was curious about Sam's next question. Not even scared; he just wanted to know what else she was going to ask him.
"Okay..." Sam's mind raced wildly. She really wanted to ask him about who he liked better - her or Carly - or something, but she knew that Freddie wouldn't answer that either.
"Kay. Uh…Pick up the noodles in the urinal-" she paused for a second "-and tell me: what kind of noodles are they?"
"Noodles?" he asked stupidly. Sam wondered if all boys were this clueless.
Freddie's pulse quickened. This was probably some sort of trap Sam had set up for him!
"Right there in the urinal!" Sam was saying impatiently.
Freddie tentatively reached inside the urinal and pulled out a clump of wet, slimy angel hair noodles. They felt horrible on Freddie's clean hands.
"How did you get these urinals in the urinal?" he asked with a disgusted look on his face.
Sam was about to say the truth: that she had put them in there just before Freddie had come in, but her fast mouth was too quick for her. "I put them in there three days ago," she lied.
Freddie's eyes popped open and a look of utter revulsion spread across his face. "Aw! Ew!" he shouted, still holding the noodles in his hands. Sam saw him stand there helplessly, trying to rid himself of the spaghetti. She actually longed to help him, but she was all the way at home. Not at Pini's. And it was a bit funny to watch him: a boy in the restroom holding a clump of cold noodles in his hands. Yes, that was classic comedy, Sam thought.
Freddie finally threw the noodles on the floor, regretting ever agreeing to play Sam's game show. He ran out the door. Freddie hoped that he would never come in contact with the blonde demon again.
Sam clicked the power button on her blue remote, hoping to tell Freddie one day why she really asked that question.
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