The Diary of A Hopeless Nobody

by The-Shadow-Night0

Jaythdix is the newest Organization 13 member. He thinks this journal stuff Saix layed on him is bullshit and doesn't quite get it. As the story progresses, a very different light is shed on the organization. Later, he finds himself falling for a certain member, but doesn't know what to do. Rated T for bad words, subject to change due to possible yaoi near the end.

1. Entry 1

Entry 1

What is this...

All I wanted from this was to find out just who I really was. But I suppose, since I got no answer, I'm simply nothing.. Do the others feel this way as well? All I'm left with is shattered memories. Memories of what it was like to.. to have a heart. Before I was, before I was this. This... this monster, this beast. A wolf in sheep's clothing. A Nobody. I guess it's supposed to feel this way at first. Maybe it's supposed to sting and eat away at your mind to know that you don't exist.. To know that if you died there'd be nothing left but a memory held by a comrade. I'd rather feel constant pain, sorrow, mirth, and despair than nothing. I'd rather go through the grueling process of martyrdom than spend my life emptying and bleeding myself dry to find even a glimmer of existence within myself. I suppose this is the life I was destined to live
And that's what makes us special. Like fuck it is. This is shit, why do we have to keep fucking journals if no one's ever gonna fucking see them?! Saix is a goddamn asshole. Why the hell does anybody listen to his shit anyway? he's only #7! Why not let a ranked member be second in command? Wouldn't that make more sense? Sorry to throw off the mood, but we're supposed to write our thoughts and that's what I intend to do.

{A/N; The chapters may be short, and updates will most likely be slow, for I have limited access to computers T^T Jayth has a dirty mouth 0...o}