Disclaimer: I don't own anything; everything is property of S. Meyer.
That empty little place inside my heart.
She was sitting on her bed and was watching her empty room. Tomorrow she would become Mrs. Edward Cullen, so Alice had packed all her belongings and had moved them at the Cullens' house. The only things left in her room were her bed and the dream catcher that Jake had given her for her birthday. She sighed, that day looked like it happened centuries ago.
Where was Jake now? Was he staying wolf or had he phased back?
Another sigh escaped out without her consent. She was happy; the next day was the beginning of her new life, with her new family and with Edward the love of her life. So why was her heart protesting? She shook her head, she knew that it wasn't just because she was giving up Charlie and Renee, no, her heart was complaining because of something else or rather… someone else.
Jake.
His name was still painful even to think of, her heart was still raw with the ache and the hollowness of his absence. She shook her head; it wasn't the time to miss, regret or suffer. She was done with it when she had said her last goodbye to him after the fight. A memory of that moment appeared in her mind, betraying her will to forget.
"I love you too Jake." She had whispered to him and his big brown eyes had looked back at her with resignation.
He had sighed. "But it doesn't change anything…"
Tears were threatening to fall down, so she had turned her head away. "No."
How many times had she thought back to the kiss and her choice? How many time she had repeated over and over again that it didn't matter anymore, that he didn't matter anymore. But it was a lie, a big fat lie. And she was a coward, not willing to face her fears, because what she had to lose was too much.
She closed her eyes for a moment but when she opened them again she realized that it was morning, sleep must have caught her unaware.
She looked around her room wishing… wishing what exactly? That Jake had come back and tried to change her mind? That he took her away so she could fool herself into thinking that it wasn't her choice after all?
Coward, her mind whispered.
Alice barged in her room with happiness coming out of her in waves. "Come on Bella, the day has finally come! Today you're going to be a Cullen, my sister forever."
Forever, her mind whispered, is a very long time. Her heart was hammering in her ribcage, was it excitement or fear?
Alice looked at her and for a moment her smile faltered but then she recovered quickly. If Bella hadn't been looking closely at her she would have missed it. Was Alice hiding something? "Ali, is everything ok?" She asked.
"Ok? Yes... of course. Everything is super ok." Alice chirped.
Bella narrowed her eyes. "You would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"
Alice nodded, and Bella was still suspicious. "If Edward asked not to tell me, you would tell me anyway… right Ali? You've learned that lesson…"
Alice nodded again, Bella shook her head. She was being paranoid, talking about getting cold feet. She smiled at Alice and followed her to the Cullens' where she would start preparing for the twilight wedding.
Rosalie has decided to help Alice, probably after realizing that for as much as she wished Bella wasn't vanishing in thin air.
The two vampires were putting the final touches on her. The make-up, the hair and the dress were done. Now there was only to wait.
Bella felt restless, surely Jake would at least come to say goodbye. But for as much as she wished, he didn't come.
When Charlie finally knocked at the door to walk Bella to the altar she was in a snitch. "Dad, is Jacob…" She needed to take a breath. "Is Jacob out there?"
Charlie looked at her with an odd expression. "No, why Bells? Did you really think he would come?"
Bella gulped, and didn't reply. Had she really thought that he would come? Her answer was yes, she thought that he would be there, his last chance to change her mind, even though she wouldn't… couldn't… didn't wish…
Jake, where was he?
It was the only thing through her mind while walking towards Edward, her Edward, the man she loved above and beyond anything else. Her eyes though were scanning the crowd.
Jake.
Why was he the only thought in that moment? Hadn't she made her choice? Didn't she deserve to be happy and to be with the man that she loved?
Jake.
The priest started speaking but it was just noise to her. Nothing was breaking the mantra going on in her mind.
Jake. Jake. Jake.
A phrase caught her ear.
"If any of you has reasons why these two shouldn't be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Forever is a long time. Her mind was still playing tricks on her.
Bella turned around; she saw the serious and unhappy faces of the pack, the uncertain faces of her family and the smiling faces of the other guests. But nobody said anything and the ceremony went on.
It was finally the moment in which she pleaded her life to Edward.
"Do you Isabella Swan take Edward Cullen to be your husband to have and to hold,
from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?"
As long as you both shall live… wasn't it ironic that he was already dead and she would be dead to be with him? So what really did it mean as long as you both shall live?
"Love?" Edward's voice startled her out of her reverie. He was looking at her lovingly expecting her to agree to be forever with him.
Jake.
Coward.
Forever is a very, very, very long time.
"No." She uttered and she felt the shock ripple through her mind, heart and soul.
"What?" The priest said. "Sorry dear I didn't catch what you said."
She gulped and looked into Edward's shocked eyes. Then she turned towards the priest. "I said no. I'm sorry… but I really can't."
Jake.
Her mind was whispering furiously at her. She needed to see Jake.
She felt Edward cold hand close around her wrist. "If you excuse us for a moment please…"
Edward pulled her away, he walked towards the forest and when he was sure they were not seen or heard he turned to look at her again. "Love, what happened back there? I thought you wanted it."
Bella bit her lip. "You know I never wanted to get married Edward, I'm sorry… it's not about the wedding… I…"
Jake.
"I can't marry you because… I… need more time…" She finally managed to whisper.
Coward.
"Love, I'm sorry I should have known. It's fine, really. We'll postpone the wedding until you're ready. We have forever to be together." He held her into his cold arms.
Forever is a long time.
She let herself feel him, his strong body, his unique smell, his coldness. Then, she finally found the strength to pull away. The few steps she took away from him were heavy on her heart. "Edward, I love you. I thought you were the man I wanted to be with, but I was wrong."
Edward's face showed the pain her words had caused, but at the same time he seemed resigned. "Love, you must be a bit stressed out, I'm sure it's just a moment of confusion…"
But his eyes had given him away. "You knew this would happen." She accused him.
He passed a hand through his air, and after a moment of hesitation he nodded. "I didn't know the specifics, but I knew that you weren't going to stay with me. You disappeared from Alice's visions yesterday night."
What had changed yesterday night? Did she make a choice she wasn't aware of?
Jake.
She felt salty tears stream down her face. "You and Alice lied to me again."
He looked stricken. "Bella, we just thought that you might change your mind again. I gambled everything but it seems I lost it all."
Her anger doubled. "Gambled everything? Was it a game to you? Was Jacob right?"
He shook his head. "No love, but you must know that it was really a battle for your heart. And I never promised I would fight fair, you belong with me Bella."
Bella turned her head when she heard the low growl.
"I don't think so bloodsucker." Jacob Black was there with his cut-off jeans and a black t-shirt. "Bells doesn't belong to anyone but herself, she isn't an object."
Her heart had stopped for a moment, but now it was beating wildly again. "Jake… you're here." He nodded slowly still not taking his eyes off Edward. "But… why didn't you come to see me before? Were you going to watch me get married with him without saying anything?"
Jake moved his eyes to hers for a moment, and then went back to look at his enemy. "You had made your choice Bella, it wasn't me. And you made that abundantly clear."
"You never listened to me before! Why did you start now?" She shouted at him.
Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "There are so many reasons for my choice."
Bella walked towards him and when she was quite close she whispered furiously. "Explain them to me."
Jake took her arm and pulled her behind him. Edward was shooting daggers to him.
"What are you doing Jacob? You surely don't think that I could hurt her." Edward said.
"I can't read minds so I can't be sure. Now if you would excuse us, me and Bells need to talk and I don't want you around." Jacob snarled.
Edward and Jacob stared at each other for a time that seemed endless to Bella. Finally Edward said, "You have ten minutes, I'll call off the wedding and then I'll be back. Don't take her away or I'll hunt you down and kill you."
Bella was shocked by Edward's words, she could understand that he was angry and scared to lose her but threatening to kill Jacob was absolutely crazy. By the time she had opened her mouth to say something, her fiancé was already gone.
Jacob meanwhile had taken a few steps away from her. She felt hurt by his move, but she knew that she didn't deserve anything from him. She had broken his heart and now Jacob wasn't her sun anymore, she had given him up and she had to live with the consequences of her actions.
"Jake... why didn't you come before to see me?" She asked, needing to know what was going on in the mind of the other man she loved.
Jacob wasn't looking at her when he replied, "I thought that you didn't want to see me."
"You're lying." She said angrily. She stomped where he was and looked into his eyes. "Tell me the truth."
His dark eyes flickered with something that she couldn't catch and then went back to bottomless pit of nothing. "You made your choice after the battle. I kissed you and I almost died fighting in a war for you. If that wasn't enough for you to love me, then there was nothing else I could do or say to make you change your mind. After all it was always about him, wasn't it?"
Bella didn't know what to say, the way he had spit the last words had cut deep in her heart. Once upon a time she had indeed said those wretched words, but they hadn't been true as they weren't now. "You know that it isn't true... Jake, between us it might have started out that way but it didn't stay that way."
He shrugged his shoulders, feigning indifference. But she knew that he was pretending, she knew he still cared for her. He had to still care. "Jake..."
Jacob turned his eyes on her. "Stop whispering my name like that Bella, you might have called the wedding off but you're still with him. Nothing has really changed, nothing ever will."
Bella bit her lip; she really didn't know what to tell him. Was she still going to be with Edward? Her mind shouted Of course she was staying with Edward! While her heart squeezed painfully Of course not, she was head over heels with Jacob! "Jake..." she took his hand and entwined it with hers.
He seemed mesmerized by their joined hands, but he was still saying nothing.
"I don't know what I'm going to do now. I just knew that this wedding didn't feel right to me." She whispered.
"He tricked you into it." Jacob growled, giving voice to her own thoughts. "You told me that he wasn't playing a game, but he was. You always gave him more credit than he deserved. He's just a lying and manipulative man and you still are none the wiser."
With that he took his hand away from hers. Bella was frozen. But Jacob hadn't finished his rant. "Have you ever thought that I never lied to you? I always told you the truth and I faced what was coming. Do you really want to be with someone that treats you like a dim-witted woman? Do you?"
She shook her head while tears started to fall down again. It was hard to face the truth of Jacob's words. "I…" Bella didn't know what pushed her to move in front of him but she knew that she was done with being a coward. "I was scared! I thought that he would make everything easier for me, I never had to make a choice." She looked down then and she watched the perfection of her dress that didn't represent her at all. "I was a coward."
There, she had said it. It was finally out in the open.
Jacob's hand under her chin called her back, he pulled it up and their eyes met. He was looking at her with a softness that had been missing since the beginning of their meeting. "You were very brave to call off the wedding."
"It wasn't me Jake; it was… the thought of you that gave me the strength to say no." She whispered still crying. "You didn't come to rescue me and I missed you so damn much…"
Jacob's other hand swept away her tears. "Bells, no matter what the reason was, you did it. You stood up and refused to go along with it. Let's face it, you're beautiful right now but it isn't you."
Bella smiled softly. "I agree, I do look pretty though."
"You always look pretty to me." He grinned then and her heart swelled.
Jacob, her Jacob was back.
"Forgive me." She murmured.
He sighed and took away his hands. "Bells, I can forgive you but who'll assure me that you won't do it again? You always find a way to hurt me."
Bella remained silent for a moment, inside her a war was raging on. The Edward and Jacob's pieces of her heart were fighting against each other to win. But she had already given two chances to Edward and he had disappointed her twice, on the other hand, she had never even given Jacob a fair chance to be with her.
"Love? It's time to go." Edward's voice startled.
Bella turned to look at her perfect fiancé; there was nothing out of place. He would remain seventeen forever, while she was already nineteen. She had grown up and he didn't. She was capable to make her own choices and even though she was scared to make mistakes… well they were worth it. And Jake had been there to help her through, he never walked ahead of her, Jacob was always right at her side.
Jacob was like Edward a supernatural being, but he had never made her feel inadequate. She was clumsy and shy but Jacob had always overlooked her defects and actually loved and cherished them.
Bella took Jacob's hand in hers and shook her head. "I'm sorry Edward but I can't come with you. I'm going with Jacob if he wants me."
Jacob seemed shocked but then seriously said, "If you leave with me now it's forever. I won't give you back."
Forever, Bella smiled, didn't seem that long when it was with Jacob Black.
She wasn't a coward anymore; she had made a choice and stood up for herself. "Forever." She whispered looking Jacob into his eyes.
His joy was something unexpected and caused her heart to beat wildly. She was happy too. "You mean it Bells? You really mean it?"
"Yes." Bella replied and then turned to look at Edward. "A part of me will always love you Edward, but when you left an empty little space remained in my heart and Jacob took it. It was very little but like any seed that is watered and looked after it grew until there was no place for anything else… anyone else."
Edward looked down for a moment and then looked up again. "I guess I'll have to maintain the promise I made you in the tent Jacob. You're what she wants and I'll not stand in the way. Mind you, I'll always wait that you imprint and then I'll take her away with me."
Jacob growled. "I won't imprint, Bella is and will always be the only one I see."
Edward scoffed. "Love, you'll find out soon that he can't control it. It's magic. I just want you to know that I'll be waiting for you."
Bella bit her lip and then spoke, "He won't imprint… I saw it when I kissed him. During the kiss I saw my life with him and two dark-haired children that looked like him but with my eyes. Don't wait for me Edward, goodbye."
Edward looked dejected, he spared her another look and while he left he said, "I'll wait, I've got time."
Bella turned to look at Jacob, her Jacob now. "So? Do you need an invitation to kiss me?"
He grinned and she laughed. "Okay, kiss me Jacob."
Jacob laughed too and then kissed her.
Yes, forever seemed not enough time to spend with Jacob Black.
THE END