Chapter 1
The third drained carcass dropped from my hands, once again reminding me of why I chose this life. I could be enjoying myself in a big city feeding off of humans, compelling them not to scream or runaway so I could feed and sustain myself. After enjoying my meal I would feed the human my blood so they could heal. I wish I could heal the scars left in my heart with the vampire blood. Isn't it meant to heal anything, just like a miracle? But one thing I knew was that those don't exist. If they did I'm sure I wouldn't be here right now.
I checked the time showing it was 11 at night. The emotional pain hit me when I realised what tomorrows date meant. For me it was the final straw that broke the camel's back. I couldn't take any more pain if I lost anybody else. I knew it was selfish to leave everyone behind just after my brother's funeral. My brother, Jeremy Gilbert was lying in the ground because of me. I had to stop myself there because if I allowed myself to carry on it would take me days to pick up myself off of the forest floor and to stop wallowing in not pity but guilt.
Whatever I had planned to do tomorrow would have to wait. I had to see my brother and my family in Mystic Falls .Even though there are only gravestones; after my parents died I spent hours writing in my diary and thinking. I will tell them about my life here. Not much has been happening in this little town, I was the head cheerleader and had boys lining up for me to pick from. But there is only one person that I loved and will never forget for all of my existence. His name is Stefan Salvatore.
That name brought so many memories, but once again I had to stop. I jumped into my room not bothering with the front door as all the neighbours were asleep and it was the middle of the night not needing to keep myself hidden from any suspicion in this little town. I rushed around my room packing my small duffle bag with a change of clothes and other small necessities. I had to do this. Even though I didn't want to face everyone I had to go and visit Jer, that's the least he deserved when I'm supposed to be the one dead and not him.
I'm sure the gang of Mystic falls as Damon once called it have moved on and forgot about me, that's all I could hope for. I will not let them see that every minute of every hour I don't at least have a thought or memory regarding my old family of friends, I hoped that Bonnie kept control of her new power, but knowing my best friend bonnie she was extremely strong not due to the with power inside her but as a person with a strong soul always determined to do the right thing.
I missed her so much but at least she wasn't in danger because of me, hopefully living her life with the smallest impact on her life from the supernatural. We always used to give each other advice, some things only bonnie could help me with but that didn't mean that Caroline was any less of a best friend to me, Caroline always had a different perspective from mine and Bonnies I guess that's why we were always stuck to each other for years and always understood each other giving the best advice we could. I wish I had my best friends for these past 3 years. Maybe my decisions would be different but its already happened. I don't want things to change because I still have to stay away, people would still kill to get their hands on me as a trophy, piece in their scheme or a as a vital ingredient in some spell.
Nobody that gets close to me is safe. That's why I have learnt to keep everybody I want to care about away and keep any relationships I want to have at arms lengths to make sure of their safety.