What is this I don't even-
Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck or Conversations with my 2 Year Old. I obviously don't have a two year old.
Jake hummed as he walked into the room, greeting cheerfully. "Good day, Dirk!" Just as he was about to cross the room to give his boyfriend a kiss, he nearly tripped over a small form. He crouched down beside the child, who couldn't be more than two, smiling. "Hello, poppet."
The little boy with shades exactly like Dirk's said nothing.
"What's your name?" Jake tried to speak with him.
"…" He finally said, "Dave."
"How adorable!" Jake smiled at him, "Now, can I please talk to Dirk?"
"No," Dave said, looking up at the stranger, "You can't talk to him right now."
Jake blinked at the little boy. "What?"
"You can't talk to him right now because I'm talking to him right now." Dave pointed to himself.
Jake foolishly attempted to reason with the child, "Well, he's my boyfriend. I'm allowed to talk to my boyfriend whenever I want. And he can talk to me when he wants."
"No," Dave repeated stubbornly, "He isn't your boyfriend. He's the princess."
Jake looked in confusion to Dirk for an explanation. Dirk just sighed. "I'm the princess right now…"
"See?" The child gave a proud smirk (how was that possible, he's TWO), "He's playing with me. So you just…" He gestured vaguely, "… go over there." He sat back on the couch with his big brother.
Jake, speechless, just watched as the little boy took an Apple Jack toy and resumed playing. Dirk looked at Jake apologetically, picking up his own Rainbow Dash doll as Dave arrogantly (damn, this kid had an attitude) said, "Look how much fun we're having."
~*~Eleven Years Later~*~
A thirteen year old Dave sat by his Bro, playing Mario Kart. His Bro had ironically picked Peach, so he responded by picking Mario. As the two were racing, the familiar face entered the messy apartment.
"Hello!" Jake waved. Before his Bro could open his mouth, Dave had flashstepped in front of the British dude. "Hello, Dave! My, you've gotten bigger! May I talk to Di-"
"No." Dave crossed his arms over his chest, the perfect imitation of a two year old. "I'm talking to him right now."
"But I'm his-"
"He isn't anything to you." Dave smirked as his Bro facepalmed. "He's the princess."
Cheekiness never goes away, does it?
I was bored and after watching Convos with my 2 Year Old, I imagined Dave and Dirk and this happened…