Dr. Cooper and Mr. Hyde
A/N: While doing research on this story I found out that National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day is September 27th 2014, 10am to 2pm. At least here in the states. Check locally for locations to drop off old medications so they don't end up in our waterways, landfills or in unsuspecting fictional physicists. Who said that reading fan fiction wasn't informative and helpful? *Gets off soapbox*
Sheldon is a bit OOC as we all know he finds the concept of coitus ridiculous and off putting. That being said he has been drugged and is not in his usual frame of mind. Isn't it great what you can do with fan fiction?
It was vintage video game night and the mood was light and jovial. Howard, Leonard and Sheldon were in apartment 4A waiting for a late Raj to join them. They had arranged snacks and drinks in preparation for an evening of electronic debauchery. Out of place a cardboard shoe box sat open on the small table between Sheldon's spot and the armchair. It was partially full of expired medicines collected from the apartments of 4A, 4B, Amy's place and Howard and Bernie's. Sheldon was a big stickler when it came to drug safety, and every year he would encourage his friends to bring their expired medications over to his place to safely dispose of them with the proper authorities. It normally meant Leonard had to drive them all the way to the drop off by himself, but Sheldon thought it was well worth it to be safe.
Sheldon had just poured himself a tall glass of black cherry Kool-Aid in preparation of a night of gaming. He placed it on the end table next to a package of red vines and the box of drugs.
Raj came into the apartment with a small plastic bag in hand. "Hey guys! I'm here, let's get this party started!" He set the bag on the kitchen island and walked to the fridge.
"Excuse me. That is not the proper place for those expired medications, Raj." Sheldon looked at him disapprovingly and motioned to the box. "The shoe box on the end table is the place for those. Just toss them in and close the lid when you're done." Sheldon rolled his eyes at him and walked down the hall to his room.
"That's funny, 'toss them in.' As if you had the eye-hand coordination to hit the broad side of a barn." Howard ribbed his friend.
"I'll have you know, I have excellent eye-hand coordination. I bet I can get all five bottles in the box from over here." Raj was standing near the garbage can by the side of the refrigerator.
"I'll take that bet!" Leonard exclaimed, moving out of the way by rising out of the chair. "What is the wager?"
"I'm in as well. Should we get Sheldon in on this too?" Howard asked looking down the hallway.
"No. He is a poor loser and a worse winner." Leonard replied with a shake of his head.
"Alright if I get all five bottles in, losers take the winner to an all expenses paid spa day." Raj beamed as he limbered up his arms.
"Or how about fifty bucks?" Howard looked at Raj with disgust.
"Fifty bucks it is!" agreed Leonard.
"Fine! But don't come running to me when your pores need tightening."
"Yeah. Never going to happen." muttered Howard.
The astrophysicist lined up his shot with his first bottle. "Watch and learn." He tossed the bottle underhanded and it landed in the box with a plastic clunk. "That's one." He aimed and threw the next bottle. It landed next to the first. "Two." He looked at the third bottle with regret. "Oh this brings back memories. This medication was part of an experimental drug study I took back when I was unable to talk to women. It's unique in that most social anxiety medications have the side effect of decreased libido. But not these little guys." He rattled the bottle. "They developed this drug to increase libido and increase confidence in social situations. But it did nothing for me but make me horny and unable to talk to women about it."
Raj lined up the shot and threw the amber colored bottle with a flick of the wrist. The bottle flipped end over end towards the shoe box. Two feet from its target, the lid came loose, spilling the little pink pills all over the place. They landed on the couch, on the floor, in the box, and three in Sheldon's drink. The boys did not see them sink slowly to the bottom of the Kool-Aid glass. The pills quickly dissolved in the deep ruby fluid. They scrambled to pick up the pills before Sheldon came out of his room. He would not be impressed with their horseplay and there wasn't enough time for video games and a lecture. They thought they got all of them secured when Sheldon reemerged.
"Why do you all look guilty?"
They all answered at once. "What do you mean?" "Guilty." "Why do you think we are guilty?"
Sheldon looked at them all suspiciously. "I don't know what's going on, but knock it off and let's get down to the reason we are here. We already have to take out one of the bathroom breaks because of Koothrappali's tardiness." He gave Raj a biting look as he strode over and snatched a game controller off the coffee table. He sat down in his spot and took a large swig of his drink.
The rest of the evening was uneventful besides the relentless assault of their team. The game they were playing took all of their attention, there was hardly time to drink or eat during play. Sheldon's drink lasted him for several hours; he could only drink between screen loads. Towards the end of the night he took the last swallow of his drink and grimaced. It was gritty and bitter. There was a powdery residue in the bottom of his glass. "What in the world is this in my drink?"
"What do you mean?" Leonard asked standing up to turn off the gaming system.
"There is some pinkish colored residue in the bottom of my glass." Sheldon peered towards the bottom of the glass.
The other men froze. They looked at Raj, who looked mortified.
Sheldon looked up at his friends. "What's going on? Did someone spike my drink? Dear Lord we aren't at a rave!" Sheldon stood up panicking.
"Now Sheldon, don't freak out." Raj explained calmly. "I spilled a bottle of a modified selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor medication I was taking as part of a social anxiety drug experiment." I guess one or more might have ended up in your glass." He flinched after telling Sheldon this.
"My own friends have poisoned me!?" Sheldon was winding up into full blown panic attack mode. He ran down the hallway to the bathroom yelling "Call poison control!" The bathroom door slammed behind him hard.
Leonard picked up his phone and looked up the poison control hotline. He dialed the number and started to read information to the operator.
The apartment door opened and Penny, Bernadette, Emily and Amy filled the living room. "What in the world is going on over here?" We heard yelling and a door slamming." Penny asked.
"Raj poisoned Sheldon, and he just found out about it." Howard said sheepishly.
"You did what?" Amy cried out turning to Raj.
"It was an accident! Some of these fell in his drink. We didn't know until a few hours later. Sheldon found some residue in the bottom of his glass." Raj felt incredibly guilty. He took the vial from Leonard and handed Amy the bottle of experimental pills.
"Concupiscencine? I haven't heard of this." She whipped out her phone and typed in the name.
"Yes, thank you very much. Good bye." Leonard hung up his phone. "Poison control said that if Sheldon ingested more than ten pills, he should seek medical attention. Otherwise he should be able to ride it out. They said we could induce vomiting, but since he took several hours to drink the entire dose, it would not be effective."
Sheldon staggered back to the living room dramatically. "My lack of gag reflex also makes it hard to vomit; I just tried with no success." Sheldon rejoined the group wiping his lips, looking queasy and drained. "What was the name of the drug I ingested?"
"Concupiscencine. It was an experimental drug Raj was on for a brief period of time. Unlike other SSRI's this medication is supposed to increase …libido in its users." Amy looked up from her phone. "Rajesh do you know how many pills were left in the bottle?"
Raj grabbed the bottle from Amy. "I had this refilled once, and then the study was stopped early." He dumped the bottle out on the table and started counting. "There seems to be about six missing."
"Well that's less than ten. Sheldon should be OK." Emily seemed upbeat at this. "What signs do we need to keep an eye out for?"
"Drowsiness, insomnia, dry mouth, headache, nausea, vomiting and …increased sexual desire." Amy looked up from her phone and over at her boyfriend. Fascinating.
"Dear Lord!" Sheldon's mouth suddenly felt like the Mojave Desert and his head began to pound. He suddenly felt nauseated, but not because he was trying to induce vomiting a few seconds ago. Not to mention he was a little sleepy, but that couldn't be because it was close to bedtime. No it was because he was drugged.
Leonard spoke up. "Poison control also said that this medication increases in potency as it ages as apposed to losing its potency. So it may have stronger effects than the same non-expired drug."
"Dude, I can remember that stuff making me crazy horny, but nothing else." Raj said very unhelpfully.
Raj felt every eye on the room on him. He shrugged. Penny turned to Leonard. "How long is this stuff going to affect him for?"
"It's the extended release formula. The drugs should be out of his system in 48 hours."
"Two days!" Sheldon started hyperventilating.
"Sheldon, take it easy!" Amy walked to the kitchen and grabbed a paper bag from the cabinet. She returned to the couch, shook it open and handed it to Sheldon. "Breathe slowly into the bag."
He took the bag from her and began to breathe rapidly into the bag. "My lips are numb!"
"That's because you're hyperventilating." Amy used a soothing voice. "I want you to try to calm down and slow your breathing." She sat next to him and encouraged him to breathe slower and deeper. Times like this she wished he would let her touch him. She wanted so much to stroke his back, but settled with just sitting close to him.
Bernadette came closer to Sheldon. "Sheldon, I don't want you to dwell on the side effects of this medication. They seem to occur rarely, so you shouldn't worry about them. It will be fine." She went over to her husband and whispered "Let's go before this gets ugly." Howard nodded and waved to his friends. "Goodnight!"
The short couple beat a hasty retreat. The sudden departure spurred the others to action. Raj took Emily by the hand and started walking towards the door. "Sorry again Sheldon. Let us know if there is anything we can do for you."
Emily barely got out, "Hope you feel better soon." before she was pulled out the door.
Leonard and Penny seemed torn between helping their friend and abandoning him. It looked like it could turn into a code milky green situation. But hey, isn't that what Amy was here for? They even had an agreement to take care of each other when sick. And being poisoned by a friend is a kind of sick. "Sweetie, we are going next door now. Do you need anything before we go?" Penny asked.
"I need my pajamas and robe, thermometer, Pepto Bismol, a cup of tea, acetaminophen, and my urine cup." Sheldon took his mouth off the paper bag to list his demands, and then started to breathe back into the bag.
Penny and Leonard just stared at him until Amy said "You two don't worry, I can get all that stuff for him. You run along, I'll take care of Sheldon." She looked caringly over at her finally calm boyfriend.
As Penny and Leonard left, Sheldon removed the bag from his lips. He looked over at his loyal girlfriend, who smiled at him reassuringly. Just having her near him calmed his nerves. She truly cared for him, unlike his so called friends who poisoned him and abandoned him. She was kind and thoughtful and beautiful…
"Do you think you can manage changing into your pajamas while I get your tea and medications?" Amy asked him gently.
"Yes. I can. Thank you, Amy. I feel better just having you around." He gave her a small smile.
She rose from the couch and walked over to the kitchen to get water ready for tea. Sheldon watched her walk into the kitchen, his eyes glued to her behind as it rhythmically swayed back and forth wrapped in a denim skirt. He snapped out of his trance when she asked what type of tea he wanted.
"Chamomile." Was his hoarse reply.
He stood up to walk back to his room to change. What was that about? He slowly started to change into his pajamas. Was this insanity brought on by the medication? His girlfriend had walked away from him a hundred times before and he never ogled her bottom like that before. Okay he had, but not that intensely. It was going to be a long 48 hours.
He returned to the living room just in time to see Amy bend over and pick a small pink pill off of the floor. He became rooted to the spot as he admired the lush scenery before him. He had only recently discovered the allure of Amy's posterior. He could not fathom why he had never noticed the tantalizing differences between their bodies before the train incident. He looked back at the kiss on the train as his Snow White moment. It awoke in him an appreciation of Amy's superb physical form, in addition to her boundless superior intellect. Her mind is what he initially fell in love with, but the curves on Amy were a delightful bonus. She wasn't scrawny like some of the "attractive" movie stars his friends admired. He liked that when he grabbed her waist to kiss her, there was something to hold onto. Dear Lord! She has a really nice figure. He could see hints of it beneath her many layers of clothing. She stood up and turned around to face him. Curses Cooper! Pull yourself together. Be cool. Say something innocuous.
"You have a really nice figure."
Amy's fingers fumbled and almost dropped the pill she was holding and neither one knew who was more shocked at his comment. "Thank you…Sheldon." She tried to look him in the eye, but he was to busy looking at the floor. "I found another pill on the floor, so yay, one less pill in your system. How are you feeling?"
Sheldon tugged the belt of his robe tighter, the green plaid bunching. "My head still hurts, my mouth is dry, and I'm a little nauseated… but otherwise feel ok." Besides the fact I'm a sex crazed pervert with low grade Tourette's and I can't stop thinking about your behind!
"Well I have your headache meds here and your tea. Why don't you sit down and relax. Do you want the TV on?" Amy reached for the remote.
"Sure."
Amy motioned for Sheldon to sit in his spot as she sat on the middle cushion and turned on the TV. Sheldon popped the headache meds in his mouth and took a cautious sip of tea to wash them down. Game of Thrones filled the screen. Jon Snow was being tempted to break his vows of chastity by Ygritte in a cave. Sheldon almost inhaled his pills and tea. As things began to heat up between the two on the program, the two on the couch began to squirm uncomfortably. As Jon Snow began to kiss his way down the length of Ygrittes body, Sheldon grabbed the controller and rapidly changed the channel. He then dropped the controller like it had scalded him. It landed on the couch between him and Amy.
Sheldon couldn't catch a break as Masters of Sex was on the next channel. The sounds of grunts and moans filled the air, as a sweaty couple writhed around on screen. Amy was visibly perspiring, and reached for the remote a split second before a red faced Sheldon had the same thought. His hand grabbed the top of hers. They felt an electric current jump between their hands as his large hand captured her small soft one. They turned to face one another, cheeks flushed with more than just embarrassment. Lusty moans were still emanating from the television echoing in their ears. Sheldon's body was as tight as a harp string. His pajama pants felt tighter. Premium cable will be the death of me! He slid the hand on top of Amy's underneath the remote and palmed it, taking it out of her frozen grip. He jabbed the power button viciously while still staring in his beautiful startled girlfriend's eyes. "I changed my mind about watching TV." It came out as a husky whisper.
"O-O-O-OK"
"Maybe I should just go to bed alone."
Amy looked at him funny. "Why wouldn't you be alone?"
Sheldon realized his mistake. "Um… you know this medicine is making me all confused. I meant I should just go to bed."
"Do you want me to spend the night? So I can keep an eye on you? You may need me for something in the middle of the night."
Defiantly! "NO! No I don't. Why? Do you… want to spend the night?" Sheldon tried to sound nonchalant but failed.
"Well, I didn't know if you would be OK here in the apartment alone. Everyone else has abandoned you. What if you had a medical emergency?" Amy's worried eyes met Sheldon's conflicted ones.
Even when worried, Amy's eyes were hypnotic. Sheldon's resolve was fading. "I-I- I'll be fine. Never better, you should just run along now."
Amy looked at him oddly. "All right, if you're sure. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
Sheldon's mind raced with several things Amy could do to make him feel so much better, but he fought against his baser urges. "My apologies Amy, this medication is causing some… unwanted… side effects. Please promise me you won't let me do anything I'll regret under its influence."
"Of course Sheldon." Amy decided to take a chance to console her befuddled boyfriend. She reached out and gently touched his forearm. "So were talking no major purchases, no tattoos, no calling Stephen Hawking…"
Sheldon was quickly loosing the battle with his hormones. Her innocent touch made him ponder not so innocent situations. "No, that's not what I mean…I mean could you possibly stop being so… incredibly … what I mean is…if you could be less… um… especially around that whole chest… and bottom region…um…and that thing with your eyes and…lips…and how you smell…"
Amy's normally articulate boyfriend was rambling. "I don't understand what you're trying to say Sheldon. I'm concerned you aren't able to verbalize your thoughts rationally. How about this? I am going to run home and grab some things and come back and spend the night. I don't want you sleeping here alone."
That's what I'm afraid of. Sheldon gulped.
Before Amy drove to her apartment, she made a quick stop to ask an old friend a favor. Robert was a great guy and since it was a slow night, he said he would work on her request immediately. She had almost arrived at her place when the text message pinged.
S- What's taking you so long?
A-I had to make a quick stop before going home. Just got here. Need to pack, then be right there.
S- I hope you get back soon. I miss you. :)
As Amy stared in disbelief at the message, red flags started to wave and alarm bells sounding peals of WARNING rang in her ears. Things were not right with her aloof boyfriend. A. Sheldon is only ever needy when sick. B. Sheldon would never admit he missed her. But worse than that, C. Sheldon in his right mind would never use an emoticon. Ever. Even at gun point. She had to get back to him soon to look after him.
She was packed up in seconds and dashed out the door. Another ping got her attention as the elevator slowly descended.
S- Maybe we can cuddle when you get back. ;)
She threw the phone back into her purse and fled her building into the night. My good driver bonus be damned! She hit the gas and peeled out of her parking lot.
A/N: Sorry. Juicy stuff in the next chapter, and maybe another if I get too wordy.
Concupiscencine is a made up medication. Concupiscence though means strong sexual desire.The suffix –ine means made from or similar to. Thanks to everyone who has ever reviewed any of my stories. Please feel free to review if you would like. No pressure.