It's Okay.
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING.
Cept the (ermm...) plot.
I stared at him from around the corner of the building.
Not like he would notice.
He never does.
He never will.
Often I wonder why I continue to watch him.
I admire him.
I admire his ability.
I admire his Confidence.
I admire his smile.
Everything about him.
But that shouldn't make me follow him.
He doesn't even know I exist.
He doesn't even understand my feelings for him.
I give him hints.
I try to tell him.
I try.
But it never seems enough.
---
I see it.
I see how he flirts with Sakura.
How much he admires her.
How much he...likes her.
…How much he…loves…her…
I understand his feelings.
But sometimes people become selfish.
Sometimes people just want things for themselves.
Like me.
I want him.
But he wants Sakura.
Not me.
Sakura.
---
I would smile at him.
Admire him.
Give him my love.
He just doesn't understand anything.
He doesn't understand how I feel.
He only knows his infatuation for Sakura.
But I'm okay.
I can wait for him.
I can try to hope that he will notice me.
I can try.
I'm okay.
---
A simple smile.
A small wave.
We never talk.
Only small gestures of acknowledgement every now and then.
No words spoken.
He forgets about me right after anyways.
He sees Sakura.
And smiles at her.
Tries to get her attention.
Does his best at everything.
For her.
But I'm okay.
Really.
He'll know me soon enough.
I just have to…
…wait.
---
It's hard to smile.
It's painful to pretend.
I don't know how much longer I can do this.
They started dating.
Naruto and Sakura.
I am happy for them.
I am.
But…it hurts.
It really hurts.
I'm not sure if I'm okay anymore.
But I'll try to smile.
I'll try to think of the future.
The possibilities.
Maybe he'll like me then.
Maybe.
---
Tell me Naruto.
Does she make you smile?
Does she make you feel happy?
Is she what you really wanted?
Is she your only desire?
I guess so.
Did you know I cried today?
It is really painful when the person you love gets engaged.
It hurts so much.
It really does.
I'm not okay.
Not anymore.
Not anymore…
---I'm locked in my room.
I won't come out.
I can't.
You and Sakura are everywhere.
If I see you I tear.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't want to be hurt anymore.
I just…
I just want everything to stop.
I just want everything to go away.
I just want to be alone.
---
"Hey."
Stop talking to me.
You are the reason I'm here.
You…You are the reason I'm so…so…sad all of the time.
"Hinata…"
Stop bothering me.
You have Sakura.
Why do you need to talk to me?
Why would you even bother wasting your time on me?
"Please…"
Stop it.
Please.
Just…stop it.
I can't take it anymore.
Please…
Stop…
"...Open the door…"
Stop making me love you.
---
I left.
I couldn't take it anymore.
Everything was so…horrible.
I just couldn't handle it.
I asked if I could move away.
Far away.
People begged for me to stay, but I couldn't.
Even when he came, I still rejected it.
I can't stay here.
Not anymore.
Nothing is okay.
It is never okay.
---
My house.
My new apartment.
So empty.
I couldn't be bothered with furniture now.
Even though I am so far away from the cause of my problems, it seems to hurt even more.
My heart.
It hurts.
I slide down the wall, curling into a ball.
I pulled my knees close and wrapped my arms around them.
I'm not okay.
I'm not happy.
I'm…not anything.
I'm worthless.
I cried.
---
I stare into the mirror with a vacant look in my eyes.
Why wasn't I happy?
I was getting married.
I should be smiling.
I should be ecstatic.
What happened to me?
The door opened and Sakura peeked in, smiling brightly.
"You look beautiful!"
I look ugly.
"Thank you."
Thank you for ruining my life…
"How do you feel getting married? Happy?"
I feel horrible.
"Yeah. I'm kind of nervous."
I'm lying.
"It's okay! You'll forget about the nerves when you walk down the aisle!"
It's not okay, Sakura.
It never has been and it never will.
---
Cheating.
I found out he was cheating on me after we got married.
I had accepted him.
He knew about everything and he still cheated.
It hurts, being rejected.
It is doubled when it happens twice.
Worst of all, his latest victim was none other than Sakura.
Naruto walked it on them.
I was happy.
They would divorce.
But then I saw the expression on Naruto's face and knew that this was horrible.
My selfish desires…
Horribly wrong…
He looked heartbroken.
"How could you…"
It isn't okay.
---
He ran into the street.
Naruto ran into the street and was hit.
It felt like I was losing him all over again.
This time, he would be gone forever.
Naruto you are an idiot.
A big, horrible idiot.
---
She's crying.
Sakura is crying.
He hasn't woken up.
The doctors said he lost all hope to live.
He gave up.
He isn't okay.
"Naruto…you i-i-idiot…!!"
It's hard not to break down and cry.
I pushed my chair back harshly and walked out the door, slamming it behind me.
I don't care anymore.
I…I just don't care.
If he couldn't live for Sakura, he could have tried to me.
Instead he chose to die.
His dreams as a young child were pointless now.
He could never be a hero if he was dead.
---
There was no funeral.
He woke up.
I was happy.
I was sad.
I don't know what I was.
He was empty.
A body without a soul.
He didn't care anymore.
He didn't even attempt to acknowledge me like he had at school.
Maybe I'm just not good enough.
"Hey Hinata, you feeling okay?"
No.
I'm not.
---
"I'm sorry."
You aren't.
"I should never have…ignored you like that."
You shouldn't have.
"Maybe…If I had known…"
How couldn't you?
"…I would have been with you instead."
I lay down, unable to move.
A crash.
That's all I can really remember.
I was on my Motorcycle and…
Bright lights.
Pain.
A blur of orange.
Screaming.
Numbness.
Black.
I am in a hospital.
I can tell by the beeping of the machines.
But when I felt nothing, I felt at peace.
Nothing could hurt me.
Nothing could bother me.
It was so nice.
But now I hear his voice.
Begging.
I don't understand.
He has Sakura.
He doesn't need me.
Me.
"Why?"
My voice was soft and somewhat hoarse.
I stared blankly at the white ceiling.
"…Huh?"
"Why do you notice me?"
"Because…be…cause…"
"…It doesn't matter."
"It does."
"Not."
"…Hinata?"
"Hmm?"
"It'll be okay."
My eyes widened at the familiar words.
Slowly, my lips twitched at the corner and I gave him a small smile which he happily returned.
It may take a while, but I can wait.
I'll be okay.
"…Yeah."
I promise.
That came out worse than I expected.
Review plz.
:D
Oh yeah, I was inspired by "My world" by SR-71.
Whoo.