Neptune The Tell-Tale Raven
As I sit here - Writing this - from A Felons Cell - the Infamous Nightmare of the Telltale Raven haunts Me in my Bed. I don't Expect you - Dear reader - to Believe all I have Set Down here - as Even I cannot comprehend -- the Sagacious Phantasm -- that Approached my Door. Alas! I did not Know -- what the Furious Beast was, when I Allowed it Into my Chamber. It was Cold, -- Frosty and Bleak -- as the Clock Struck the Midnight hour. I sat in my Plush Armchair by the Burning Embers of the - Damnable - Fire, flipping through my Edition of Ride A Cock-Horse. There came a Knock Knock Knocking at My Door. I arose from My Chair and opened the Door wide. A Furious blast of Freezing Air hit me. But there was Nobody there. Now -Dear Reader-imagine the Incredulity that Overcame me. I was Astounded that the Fruits of my Thoughts had Combined to create - a Phantasm of Magnitude - by now, dear reader, You must think I am Quite Mad - but all these Beings can be Explained - they are Never Paranormal.
I closed the Door and went back to my Quiet Reflection of Ride A Cock-Horse when the Knock Knock Knocking came once again. This time I Flung my copy of Nursery Rhymes over my Left Shoulder and Strode to the Door. I screamed out into the darkness "Tis you, my Lost Ludicrous Larry!"
But t'was no reply. Suddenly, a Dark shape detached Itself from it's unholy Haunt from above, and Fluttered in above my head, resting on my Bust of Monica Lewinsky.
"Nevermore, Ask Me Later, Roll Again" it Croaked and I Choked, as I recognised the Foul Infidel Magic-8-Ball Raven otherwise known as Neptune. My speech Faltered, and I cried For Love - For Love was All Around me when I loved Lost Ludicrous Larry - Love of God, Fellow Countryman, Infidel Magic-8-Ball Raven who Tells All…tell my heart to Stop listening to the Knock Knock Knocking door and the Tick Tick Ticking of the Strangulated Larry when he died beneath the Floor.
Quote Neptune Raven: "I cannot foresee Now"
And as the Police - I know not from Whence they came, for they were not In this Story a Minute ago - They Stomped into the Chamber I was Kneeling in - The Raven flew down from the Bust of Bill Clinton - whom Incidentally I had put next to Free Willy and Monica Lewinsky - and Landed on my Bald Spot, which derived from Ludicrous Larry's scraping fingernails as He went through his Death Throes. His Claws dug into my skin and I screamed and Grasped the Floor Boards. Sadly for My Case, however, the Floor Boards that I Grasped in my prolonged Agony came up, for I had only Recently Soldered them Down, and the Police came and took me Away. The Raven sits on top of my Head as a permanent Reminder of the Lost Ludicrous Larry - before my Head is Detached from my Shoulders in Death. Every now and Then it Quote-eth:
"Cannot foresee now, ask me later, SQUAWK nevermore"
As I sit here - Writing this - from A Felons Cell - the Infamous Nightmare of the Telltale Raven haunts Me in my Bed. I don't Expect you - Dear reader - to Believe all I have Set Down here - as Even I cannot comprehend -- the Sagacious Phantasm -- that Approached my Door. Alas! I did not Know -- what the Furious Beast was, when I Allowed it Into my Chamber. It was Cold, -- Frosty and Bleak -- as the Clock Struck the Midnight hour. I sat in my Plush Armchair by the Burning Embers of the - Damnable - Fire, flipping through my Edition of Ride A Cock-Horse. There came a Knock Knock Knocking at My Door. I arose from My Chair and opened the Door wide. A Furious blast of Freezing Air hit me. But there was Nobody there. Now -Dear Reader-imagine the Incredulity that Overcame me. I was Astounded that the Fruits of my Thoughts had Combined to create - a Phantasm of Magnitude - by now, dear reader, You must think I am Quite Mad - but all these Beings can be Explained - they are Never Paranormal.
I closed the Door and went back to my Quiet Reflection of Ride A Cock-Horse when the Knock Knock Knocking came once again. This time I Flung my copy of Nursery Rhymes over my Left Shoulder and Strode to the Door. I screamed out into the darkness "Tis you, my Lost Ludicrous Larry!"
But t'was no reply. Suddenly, a Dark shape detached Itself from it's unholy Haunt from above, and Fluttered in above my head, resting on my Bust of Monica Lewinsky.
"Nevermore, Ask Me Later, Roll Again" it Croaked and I Choked, as I recognised the Foul Infidel Magic-8-Ball Raven otherwise known as Neptune. My speech Faltered, and I cried For Love - For Love was All Around me when I loved Lost Ludicrous Larry - Love of God, Fellow Countryman, Infidel Magic-8-Ball Raven who Tells All…tell my heart to Stop listening to the Knock Knock Knocking door and the Tick Tick Ticking of the Strangulated Larry when he died beneath the Floor.
Quote Neptune Raven: "I cannot foresee Now"
And as the Police - I know not from Whence they came, for they were not In this Story a Minute ago - They Stomped into the Chamber I was Kneeling in - The Raven flew down from the Bust of Bill Clinton - whom Incidentally I had put next to Free Willy and Monica Lewinsky - and Landed on my Bald Spot, which derived from Ludicrous Larry's scraping fingernails as He went through his Death Throes. His Claws dug into my skin and I screamed and Grasped the Floor Boards. Sadly for My Case, however, the Floor Boards that I Grasped in my prolonged Agony came up, for I had only Recently Soldered them Down, and the Police came and took me Away. The Raven sits on top of my Head as a permanent Reminder of the Lost Ludicrous Larry - before my Head is Detached from my Shoulders in Death. Every now and Then it Quote-eth:
"Cannot foresee now, ask me later, SQUAWK nevermore"