A/N: Hello everyone! Guess who showed up at the TNS Fanfiction Fanbase?
So I've been giving this story a whole lot of thought for one of the longest times. Ever since I first watched The Next Step for the first time last summer and now, being all caught up with the series, I knew I had to do a fanfiction about it at some point and I also knew that I had to do one in first-person (my favorite narrative style) and so far, I feel I've got the perfect character for this type of story right here. Amanda has been through a whole lot since Season 1 until now, being the resilient fighter she is with by far the biggest change of heart (next to Emily, of course), which is what makes her such a wonderful character in the series, I think it's fitting to do a story about her picking up right after Nationals towards the end of Season 2. It's more like a Character Study, so there's not a bunch of dialogue (rarely actually) if it's okay with you all (but there will be, trust me, because I can't go an entire story without it unless it's poetry), and I honestly feel that there aren't enough stories like this in first-person POV, so I'm hoping to see a lot more in the near future. Plus, there aren't enough stories featuring her and she deserves a lot more credit after doing so much for the team, so I just felt like doing one and now, here we are! I definitely enjoyed writing this and I sure hope you do too.
I hope you enjoy this story and at the end, please remember to leave a Review (maybe a Favorite, if you liked it?) or anything at all. Constructive criticism is welcome. Just no flames, please.
As always, I don't own anything. These characters are created by the amazing Frank Van Keeken and belong to him and Temple Street Productions and Beachwood Canyon Productions.
Enjoy!
~ASianSuccessor2012
Amanda's POV
"THE NEXT STEP! THE NEXT STEP! THE NEXT STEP!"
The crowd at the jam-packed auditorium was going wild with hoots, applause, cheers and standing ovations as my team chanted nonstop at their triumphant, well-deserved victory.
My team...whoa...I never thought I'd actually be saying that about The Next Step-for real, at least-after all I've put them through. After what Lucien made me put them through. Well, I'm trying my very best not to think about that right now. What matters, at least for now, at this very moment is that my new team, dare I say, my new family (because I now consider them as such), is overjoyed and thrilled beyond words that we won Nationals for the very first time. We? No, they! They were the ones who worked hard to make it to where they are now with and without me, before they blew my cover and after. They deserve this win more than anyone else, and by "anyone else," I mean Elite. The Next Step won this competition fair and square the way they did Regionals. Elite did not and unfortunately, I was a part of it.
Back in Regionals, we just did what we did and competed to the best of our abilities and the height of our caliber but now that The Next Step made it into Nationals, it was honestly the biggest surprise of my life because I knew that I did my job and I did it exactly the way Lucien wanted. But how did they manage to get Michelle back when I distinctly remember her saying she wouldn't return to dance? That's a question yet to be answered. I knew I underestimated them at the time because I never knew everything they were capable of. Of course I knew they were capable of at least something. They won Regionals for goodness sake and fairly! What I didn't know was how intelligent they all were, putting their heads together as a team, even in the nick of time. Ever since I became captain at Elite, I was forced with a gradual cultivated mindset to believe that The Next Step was the weakest competitor we had in the Canadian dance world by who else? Lucien. I don't exactly remember how he planted that mindset into me ever since the start. It couldn't be because the original owner of the studio, who I hear was Miss Kate's mother, was a woman. I didn't see much bias in that because I myself am a young woman and Lucien appointed me as dance captain. Maybe Lucien just has a way of saying things persuasively...manipulatively...schemingly. That's the kind of man he is. Crafty as they come.
There aren't a lot of studio owners I know in the region, or country for that matter, with a menacingly cunning mind like his. Just him. In fact, I considered Lucien and his plans to be honorable all because I believed that everything he had planned out would make us a winning team and that's exactly what I wanted out of it. I love success as much as he does. I live and breathe it. Success resonates every fibre of my being and there was nothing else in this world that could change it and it all began with my love of dance that grew to my love of competition.
I saw Lucien as sort of a father figure to me at Elite ever since the start. He saw me as a passionate individual, striving for perfection, order, giving a hundred-and-ten percent in everything I do, in dance and in life, and maybe all that influenced him to take me under his wing. He saw the same qualities I had in Tess, my co-captain and closest friend in the studio at the time. I guess you could say we were "apprentices" to the willful and skillful mastermind that he was and is, and probably will be for a long time to come. All of that training (and I'm not talking dance) leading up to this moment, made me the somewhat professional, expert, intelligently cunning and now, come to think of it, completely dishonorable schemer I am today, and I'm sure that Lucien couldn't be prouder, or happier. At first, I thought, I should be satisfied. Everything I've been doing before and during preparations for nationals is something I should have been proud of because I've been doing this not just for Lucien but for my team. There was nothing else in the world I cared about but to be the truly honorable, responsible and best dance captain I could be as a team player to everyone at Elite. But after what happened in that little fiasco with Michelle being held up at the mall for a crime she didn't commit, on top of that, plotted out by Lucien and Tess, just so we could advance to the semi-finals without me fairly competing and in the end, knowing that they had little to no faith in me because of my failing Miss Nationals Soloist last year, why should I be satisfied? I should be ashamed of myself! They should be ashamed of themselves (if they only knew what the word meant, to begin with). In fact, I am ashamed of myself as I should be and to be honest, this is the worst I've probably felt in my entire life. All I've ever wanted was to be a fair competitor, doing what I love alongside my winning team, but here I am, thinking about every terrible thing I've done leading up to this moment and I can't help but to think that I've truly been a disgrace to what I truly stand for in the dance world: the truly honorable dance captain and team player I've always wanted to be.
I know everyone in The Next Step is celebrating their big win right now and so am I, but I can't help myself getting lost in thought, even if I wanted to. I'm supposed to be happy! I'm supposed to be proud of myself! I should be thankful that I redeemed myself enough to make everyone at the studio trust me after all these times I've wronged them and clandestinely plotted against them (under Lucien's command, of course) and in the end, saving them from the biggest mistake they could ever make to forfeit the competition because of Emily's unexpected injury. I should be wholeheartedly celebrating the way everyone else is with absolutely nothing else on my mind but this! If I know that in the end I did the right thing the way no one else expected me to, then why is the only thing I ever feel right now regret? Nothing else? I may be putting on a brave face, plastering a huge grin, still genuinely celebrating with them and for them, but I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep well every night without thinking of my mistakes of the pain I thrust upon the team, hurting their chances to no end until they supposedly couldn't make it here. I know how badly I hurt them and I know how selfish I've been, even if I did what I did for my original team, just to get to Nationals, and all I can really think about now is how truly, deeply, and genuinely sorry I am for everything. Even if I did help them win, I don't think there is any way that the team could trust me or see me in a different, more positive light ever again. It would take a miracle, or even a prayer for that. But, will they find it in their hearts, no matter how long or hard, to forgive me? A second chance. That's all I hope for. Is it too much to ask?
As I watch everyone celebrate and cheer without an end in sight, I feel my vision begin to blur and everything around me from the stadium to the circus-like set is merely a fuzzy haze of colors meshed together as I stare blankly into space, backing away from everyone on A-Troupe in their sea of joyful embraces that I was momentarily a part of. Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling sick or faint or anything like that; I just need a little moment to myself, that's all, just to think. And, for the record, one of these things on my mind is if I actually deserve to be celebrating with them right now. More and more, I'm growing lost in thought, leaning back on the set, paying no attention to everything and anything around me. Just my own mind, my own headspace, and me.
Come to think of it, this is the second time I've ever seen The Next Step celebrate triumph in their competition and the joy in their faces? The happiness in everyone's lit-up eyes is very much the same from when they won Regionals. The only difference? They've got a few new faces on the team. The only major difference? I was celebrating with them. Not too long ago, when The Next Step won Regionals with their diverse, flashy, original and honestly widely entertaining performance they gave against Elite's just as entertaining and original performance, hearing our defeat right before our very eyes, their very eyes and the audience's very eyes, was like a punch in the gut. No, worse! Much, much worse than that. Not only was I disappointed and embarrassed that everyone in the auditorium heard our loss. I was furious! Boiling furious inside, like a tigress who just lost its prey, waiting to lash out on everyone and everything in sight! As much as I'd hate to admit it, I felt like I was even more infuriated than Lucien`s ever been at that very moment. But did I channel my emotions by lashing out irrationally? Of course not! That would have been far from graceful. The easiest way to do so was just to give our rival team the classic cold shoulder even after the competition. I still remember Emily holding her hand out to shake mine like every good sport should when there I was, brushing her aside as if she were the one who purposefully stashed every inch of my biggest dreams and desires away from me. Wow, was I bitter that day. Nothing could get bitter than this (if I do say so myself). There was no one else on my team that truly wanted that sweet taste of victory more than I did. Yes, Lucien may have been the most visibly passionate but I was the one who wanted to claim it for Elite and in turn, prove myself to him that I could carry our team to its victory for us to have and hold like nobody else could. This could have been our reigning moment, defending our title like the last year and advancing into Nationals once again. I maybe could have gotten a chance to redeem myself and finally win that Miss Nationals Soloist title so that I could carry my team to its most coveted and anticipated semi-finals round. But what happened? The Next Step happened and they managed to take all these hopes and dreams away from Elite and away from me...just like that. We knew we should have won. We should have taken that title that the very word lose would cease to exist in our vocabulary. We were the most prestigious, most respectable dance studio in the entire region. We had an honorable reputation and all of this could be ruined by a simple act of admitting defeat. This wasn't who we were. We were stronger than that. We were so much better than this. Everyone else believed that we were expecting our win as if it was second nature. Even ourselves! Yes, we could have been like those other competitors who lost to us and although utterly disappointed, wish that "good old congratulations" or "you deserve it" or all those clichè statements to The Next Step and their win. The truth is, we felt like they did not deserve it; we did. And Elite isn't one to back out from a fight, especially coming up against our team's sworn enemy (according to Lucien again). We knew in our minds, hearts, souls, and our everything that we were going to win no matter what. Besides, we've already bought our airplane tickets for Nationals and no one or nothing, especially not The Next Step, was going to let this opportunity go to waste no matter what. Sure enough, I knew that before Nationals rolled around, there was counterfeit sweetness in the air luring me in through Lucien's manipulative set of words...the time for revenge was close at hand and this time, there was no stopping us now.
Did I mention that even before Regionals, Lucien and the rest of the team bought the airplane tickets for Nationals? I'm sure I did. I mean, that was the whole reason why we knew we needed and felt we deserved to be there competing instead of The Next Step. I, for one, had one of the most difficult times accepting our loss. I just wasn't having it! There was no way I was going to let our team allow such a hard-earned opportunity to slide. Not again, at least. Most may have called it overconfident. We call it prepared. I'm sure Lucien felt that anger and utter jealousy boiling deep within him as much as I did because he knew exactly what I was thinking, as if we shared the same mind or something (I've proud of it before but now, after what it's gotten me into, I don't think so anymore). That's when he took me under his wing for the first time for one of his infamous schemes I formerly deemed as genius: taking our next step to take down The Next Step from the inside as a double agent. The only way we'd completely succeed and avenge our supposedly unjust loss is if they didn't make it to Nationals.
I remember everything like it was yesterday, walking in, feigning my innocence as if I was merely searching for someplace to audition for the Nationals team. Sure enough, it was The Next Step. It was obvious that with the way I treated them, I knew very well that no one in the studio would dare trust me, especially Emily, whom I treated the worst before competing at Regionals. I knew they hated me (I know, I know, I deserved it) and I didn't care. At the time, I had no hurt feelings in the very least and had no remorse at all. In fact, my ongoing bitterness for their success consumed me from the inside out, with some extra manipulative supplication from Lucien's point of view, of course. I just had to put on a facade-and an innocent one at that-for all of A-Troupe to see just so they'd be able to let me in. Of course, there was no way they were just gonna let me in that easy; it was plain to see, clear as crystal (or clearer), that they already had their team. If I wanted this whole thing to work, I had no choice but to convince them to trigger the challenge, or the winnowing, as Elite called it. As much as I hate to admit again, I had to nitpick and choose my words carefully...unsuspectingly...manipulatively...schemingly, the way Lucien would and just as I thought, they reluctantly agreed to it. Wow...just how gullible was that (I used to think)? This was going to be easier than I thought. Thus began phase one of the plan...how to make them trust me...and once they do, The Next Step's not gonna know what hit them (I also used to think).
All at once, these memories just keep flooding my mind nonstop and as much as I really want to let it all go and shove them all in the past that I would never dare venture into again, maybe if I take just one last look at them again, then and only then would I be able to free myself from these chains of guilt and remorse that are holding me back once and for all. After all of this remembering, I just want to forget.
I wasn't surprised that when I filled that last, most anticipated spot on A-Troupe, I was met with the least applause and the most haphazard congratulations anyone could ever receive. I guess that's the price you pay for messing with their heads and self-esteem at a competition. I couldn't call myself an 'actress,' faking my slightly hurt feelings at their less-than-warm welcome for me onto the team but the one time I definitely could call myself that was that time when I followed James, Riley, Eldon and Michelle into the mall with Lucien and Tess following close behind, just awaiting the perfect moment where they could witness me fake my tears and hurt feelings as Lucien supposedly yelled at me for letting my team down. Can't say I was the perfect actress, but I can say that I was the perfect pretender. Well, that's what got me into A-Troupe and all the same, kickstarted me into clandestinely launching the plan full-swing, even if it meant pretending to be everyone's friend and everyone's ally in the long run up until the time was right to finally start messing with them. As far as winning was concerned, I was the first to say "let the games begin."
Our plan was quite simple. I audition for The Next Step as a double agent and observe everything about anything and everyone in the studio and report every single detail to Lucien without leaving anything out. Well, that would have been kind of creepy, if I thought so at the time. Back then, I knew I would do anything for Lucien and my team and by doing so, I truly felt like a genius. Yes, this was a scheme and in some way, an "evil plan" but that's not how I saw it. I knew in the back of my head that what I was doing was wrong but I brushed the thought off for a while and dismissed it as simply taking one for the team. I don't mean to brag but in the heat of the moment when I was just getting started, I felt like a genius and oh boy was I proud of it. As time went by, for as long as I was on A-Troupe, I pushed myself to do everything they did, going with the flow, dancing my hardest and my best the way I did at Elite as if I was a genuine member of the team. You could say pretending for me was that easy. A piece of cake, at that. In the beginning, I couldn't agree more! That little rejection skit at the mall was quite the success (and not to pat myself on the back, but quite the performance), and so was convincing Emily and Michelle, as well as Miss Kate and Phoebe, to get me on A-Troupe. But nothing, I mean, nothing was more difficult than pretending to make friends. Wait a minute...why the heck was that supposed to be difficult?! It wasn't supposed to be! That was the whole point of the scheme! Pretending was the single most integral part of this plan to get my team to Nationals; in fact, Lucien never went a day discussing his plans without reminding me to never ever let my guard down.
For the time being, all I had to do was keep an eye on everyone on A-Troupe and just sit tight, waiting for the day that Lucien or Tess would find a way to get us back on track to another Regionals just so we could get our head start on making it to Nationals, thus beginning my second phase of truly messing with The Next Step, tearing the very building blocks of their team chemistry and the team itself brick by brick. That in itself was no trouble. No trouble at all (at least for me). I knew that Lucien always had a way with things and all I had to do was trust him above all else no matter how long it takes. The only problem? How long was I supposed to wait for that day? Was I supposed to wait a week? Two weeks? One month? Come on, Lucien, give me a hint! Nothing. That's all I got for the past few days. No response whatsoever. Well, I guess I had to sit back, relax, dance, and just keep an eye on everybody for the mean time and by keeping an eye on everybody, I mean socializing, and by socializing, I mean pretending to be their friend. Heh...so much for making me stay at The Next Step.
"You can do this, Amanda; be strong! Do it for Lucien, do it for you, do it for Elite!"
That's what I kept telling myself through and through ever since the day Lucien last told me to leave everything to him. Of course I could do this! Of course I'll be strong! Of course I'll do it for him, for myself and for my team! All I had to do was affirm myself that every single day to the point that it would be the easiest thing in the world. No pressure, Amanda. By the time I'd be finished with them, The Next Step wouldn't know what hit them. Little did I know, but a lot did I fear, was that I didn't know what was bound to hit me...hard. And if it did, I didn't know what I was going to do next.
I knew this for a fact and as a matter of fact, I witnessed it myself. Teamwork was obviously an asset to The Next Step. Diversity was also an evident asset to The Next Step. But nothing at all could ever overshadow or overpower the ever-constant existence of friendship as by far the strongest asset to The Next Step and that was exactly what I had to deal with for as long as I was there. The only catch? Coming from me, it was all supposed to be an act. For the first time, even knowing very well about this fact looming over my head, I approached the doors of the studio with my head held high, ready for anything, especially pretending that everything I made appear to them was real, but ever since my first few days and weeks of staying there, I never thought I wouldn't be ready for the road that lay ahead of me. On top of that, I couldn't depend on Lucien for everything for a while. I was on my own. At that moment, although I knew that friendship in the studio was a crucially important rite of acceptance, I saw it as a warning, dead serious as an auto-theft road sign in a parking lot. I feared it for a while, but then, I decided to brush it off. I knew I had a job to do and I had to do it well. Without Lucien and the rest of my team by my side with everything being up to me, I hoped and prayed as hard as I could that I wouldn't be in for it one day.
All of a sudden, my thoughts rush back to the time Miss Kate held the small group auditions and Giselle and Thalia invited me to be a part of it. I accepted their invitation without an ounce of hesitation. They needed someone to fill that last spot and back then, I hated to admit that I was flattered that they asked me to join them while everyone else still eyed me warily with mounds and pounds of bitterness, but one thing I know I had to admit without shame was that these two ladies were phenomenal dancers without a doubt! I mean, have you seen them dance? They're nothing short of powerhouses! With all the suave and sass and flair they had in their styles, and my own little spark added to the table, it was clear that we were going to nail this audition. The only thing I really was ashamed of admitting was that they were among the very first who have been by far the nicest to me ever since I made A-Troupe. There were zero traces of bitterness etched on them as far as I was concerned. I really wanted to deny it (even though I clearly couldn't) but I was beginning to think they saw me as a friend. Sure enough, we worked well together and once we auditioned, we were like the sauciest, sassiest, swinging firecrackers out there and sure enough, we killed that audition like it was the most important dance in the world for us. At that time, I knew it was safe to say that it was one of the most exhilarating moments I've ever had in my life and it wasn't just because Giselle and Thalia were bursting powerhouses of dancers and that we gave the best performance of the day, winning the small group for Nationals.
There was something I noticed that day, and even a few days before that (yes, I'm even counting our out-of-this-world encounter with Zoltan and Minnow at the fashion show to get those "Next Step" tracksuits for free). There was something I felt at the very pit of my gut that I never thought I'd feel in a long time and I was afraid to admit that it was something that I never truly felt when I was at Elite. I knew that Elite was my home and my team was my family and I've always believed that from the very beginning, but after staying this long and spending more and more with The Next Step, with less and less contact with Lucien, Tess and the rest of my team, there was something I saw in them that I've never had the chance to see in my team. Not only did they feel like home and seem like family; they were at home and they were a family, and that goes to show no matter how many times people could barely see eye-to-eye (cough, cough-James and Riley-cough, cough), everyone on this team could put all their differences aside, be it personalities or dance styles, or anything at all. You were free to be yourself around everybody and no one would judge you for it. Everyone was encouraged to be different and be true to themselves and were they called out for it? Absolutely not! They appreciated each other for it and they celebrated it in any way they could possible, on and off the dance floor. Whoa...I never thought I'd ever be thinking these things in a million years (or more)! I knew that nearly everyone on A-Troupe were just starting to warm up to me but it never occurred to me in my wildest imagination that I would ever begin to like these people and even more, see them as friends. True friends which was precisely the way they've behaved around me for a while. This was my wildest imagination coming true; this was my nightmare. I honestly never felt truly happy around a group of people who share the same passion as I do ever before and honestly, this was the very thing I feared the most. I was almost seeing them as my family, accepting their friendship and being their friend in return. Just because they saw me as their friend, that didn't mean they had to be mine. I was here on business, on my own accord to fight for the spot on Nationals for my team, and my team alone. I was letting my guard down. I was letting guard down hard and this was not supposed to be happening! This was not going the way that I had in mind! Their friendship that I nearly wholeheartedly accepted, though genuine, was an unsuspecting mind game that stopped at nothing to cloud my judgement and change my way of thinking. I could not let this happen to me. I just couldn't. Part of me wanted to forget this whole plan and stick with The Next Step, but another part of me reminded me that if I did, I would betray the team I knew and came here to fight for so well and treachery to my home team was something I wasn't willing to live with for the rest of my life. I had to act fast. I had to escape. I had to reconnect with Lucien and Tess before anything else could happen to me. I had to stay strong. This was just the beginning and this was where the trouble started and it all began with me.
It's difficult to sum it up all at once, especially while thinking long and hard about everything I've done leading up to this moment, but I can still recall the time that Michelle left the studio because of all the drama consuming her leading up to my position as dance captain, the time I found out that Elite would be competing at another Regionals, therefore pushing my plan forward in full force and most especially, the day Emily found me out, claiming to have some idea of all my plans, pretending that she'd be my ally in taking down The Next Step after she staged her unleashed past ferocity towards Riley and how I made her do everything I say in order for me to trust her, even going as far as breaking her heart by forcing her to break up with Hunter. I'm definitely not ashamed to admit that I was ruthless, but I knew I had to act faster than ever since Nationals was around the corner, constantly reminding myself that all my actions, although mostly negative, was all done just for my team. Right now, although I really, really hate to bring this up, was the time Emily and I accused Chloe of stealing the Nationals money, thus getting her kicked out of the studio, in turn, already knowing that Emily was never truly my ally, accusing her of stealing the money because I knew that she would put me in the spot. Wow...how heartless was that? It was all my doing. Lucien didn't have a part in that this time. Every idea I had, every mental maneuver I made just by watching A-Troupe like a hawk, was something I knew I had to do to avenge the defeat of Elite. I had to forget every friendship I supposedly made. I had to disregard any attachments I almost had. Ever since reconnecting with Tess back at Michelle's school fair, I thought that everything was going to be okay and that everything would go back to normal just the way they were and just the way they were meant to be. The Next Step and Elite being sworn enemies in the long run, me having nothing to do with any of the dancers at The Next Step, and forgetting every single moment I could have sworn I nearly deemed a fond memory. Everything would have been better this way. The truth was, it wasn't. Not one bit. I remember the time they finally found me out all because of a simple drawing a little girl named Margie drew on a five-dollar bill Riley and Chloe caught me handing to a cashier in Culture Shock and even if I was in for it, I didn't care. Michelle wasn't coming back to The Next Step and once I left, their team would be left with nine dancers, making the ineligible to compete at Nationals. I've done my duty and my job was done. Mission accomplished. Time to go back to the way things were. Everything Lucien, Tess and I had in mind was a complete success and that was all that mattered...or so I thought. Everything seemed to be going pretty perfect with my team and I, but I never thought that I would have the surprise of my life right when we walked through the doors of the Absolute Dance Nationals looking even more ready than they ever were...THE NEXT STEP?!...MICHELLE?!...WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?! All at that single moment, all of my plans, everything I've done, all I've worked and waited for...all gone, and all it took was The Next Step showing up at the Nationals' door. I thought I had it. I thought I succeeded. I did exactly as I was told with some of my own tricks up my sleeve doing everything I could muster just to keep them from competing and this happens. From the corner of my eye, I can faintly remember catching a glare from both Lucien and Tess towards me and of course, I knew those looks and those looks made me believe that I was a failure. I had no idea how they managed to win Michelle back onto their team but all I knew at that moment was that I had no idea they were capable of this and that somehow, I may have underestimated them. Moving on…
I thought it would end there and that everything would just simply go back to normal like I hoped, but it didn't. I tried my hardest not to think about why The Next Step was there and did all I could in my mind to accept the fact that they made it here and were even more ready than ever to compete. After what I've done to them, I knew that they wanted absolutely nothing to do with me and that was supposed to be okay with me, but it wasn't. For the first time, I actually felt guilt consume me like it never has before, like a rude awakening which felt like yet another punch in the gut. Everything that Lucien has been telling me since day one of my captaincy that they were the weakest of competitors in the dance world, both physically and intellectually and after seeing everything that they've done back in rehearsal up to this moment, I can't believe how blind I was to have followed this cultivated mindset that Lucien forcefully and willfully imprinted on my mind. I never thought that I would ever disagree with him, but I do. I started to realize that Lucien, formerly one of my biggest inspirations since I entered the competitive dance world, the one I would constantly look up to for advice and empowerment, was attacking The Next Step on a more personal level than I thought he was. I thought he that everything he did during the competition was merely to psyche them out (which is honestly a normal thing for overly competitive teams, like, let's say, L.O.D.) but I never knew that he truly hated them with a passion and a vengeance that even surpassed their title as Elite's sworn enemy. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about it for a second. All I knew at that moment was that they made it here and that even if I didn't think they'd make it in the first place, I was just willing to compete against them fair and square the way it should be. Now that they're here, I no longer feel the need to mess with them. I shouldn't feel the need to mess with them. That was always how I wanted it to be. As per usual, things took a turn for worse when we were up against The Next Step for Female National Soloist and Lucien and Tess, unbeknownst to me and everyone else in The Next Step and Elite, took matters into their own hands by personally framing Michelle for theft during her trip to the mall, delaying her arrival up until I finished my solo. Of course I would give my all and dance as hard as I could for my team but all I wanted was to compete fairly like the rest of them and after hearing that Lucien and Tess "took care of Michelle," finding out everything right at the moment….I've HAD IT! I've had enough! Messing with The Next Step before Nationals was one thing but messing with them during Nationals was another. This was never my intention. This was never what I wanted in the first place. Now I knew why Lucien and Tess were behind this. They knew that The Next Step truly was good enough to make it this far and they did it just so they would be disqualified and we'd get that once-in-a-lifetime shot of the semi-finals we never had. But it didn't stop there. Because The Next Step managed to make it into Nationals after all I've done, and because I lost the same title the last time, I had this realization and that realization hit me and it didn't just feel like a punch in the gut; it felt like a sucker punch to the conscience of my entire being. Never would I have ever imagined that my best friend and my closest mentor would have no faith in me at all, and it hurt me more than words could ever express it. All I wanted was to compete fairly and do my absolute best, proving to my team that I could pull them through, but they pull a stunt like that behind my back and I don't even know if I could forgive them for that. They betrayed me like nobody else did...and I deserved it. That's when I realized another thing...I was not the same as I used to be, and after this, little did I know that I never would be again.
All that came into play after Michelle slayed her Nationals Solo right after mine, laying, her anger for me and for Elite, her passionate drive to pull through for her team, and everything down on the dance floor and in turn, won the round advancing them to the semi-finals. I knew that I wanted this more than anyone else but I knew that The Next Step deserved this more than anyone else and I couldn't help but take a different approach to my team's loss doing something I never thought I'd do...apologize, for everything. Everything I meant with that short apology was sincere and I could only hope that they knew that but I also felt a sting at my heart knowing that the last thing they would do was believe me. Well, at least I had done my part. That was all the closure I needed before I could move on and walk out of their lives forever. Again, that didn't end there. Just as soon as The Next Step ended their semi-finals routine, everyone heard that Emily had badly injured her knee, causing her to be unable to dance at the finals, leaving the team with only nine dancers….again. I never thought I'd feel this way but for the first time ever, once I heard the news, I was shocked, devastated and heartbroken. I've seen how hard they worked and witnessed their resilience just to make it here and this happens. I don't see why this should be happening and I don't see why they deserve it. They don't. If there's anyone in this competition who deserved it, it was me. What I did was wrong. Terribly wrong. And I wasn't supposed to care...but I do. If Emily didn't recover on time and The Next Step gets disqualified before even having the chance to perform, I would never forgive myself. That's when I got the idea. It was probably the craziest notion I've had all day but I just had to do it because it was the only way The Next Step would be able to perform their finals routine. I knew that everything I've done leading up to this day was wrong and I knew that if I went through with this, this would be the only way to set things right again, for The Next Step, and even for me. "If only they'd give me that chance," I thought to myself, "What other choice do they have?" And that's precisely what I did. I stepped in and took Emily's place and danced at the finals for The Next Step. At first, they were highly suspicious of me (as they should be) and were inclined to disagree but Emily could sense my sincerity and let me do what I needed to do. In the beginning, I didn't fully understand why I would come up with a crazy idea like that. Maybe I wanted to get back at Lucien...maybe I wanted to end up on a winning team...or maybe I felt like I was beginning to truly and genuinely like these people, seeing them as my friends, even if I wasn't or probably would never be theirs. My mind kept telling me all these things, clouding my mind as hazily as it could all over again, but my heart told me to dance my hardest, not just to help them win but to prove to them that I really, deeply, truly am sorry for everything I've done and all the trouble I've caused them and this one dance, with them and for them, was my one final chance to show them that I've changed and this time, I've changed for good, and nothing, not even Lucien, was ever going to stop me now.
All at once, I snapped out of my senses, the roaring cheers and applause of the crowds still reverberating and ringing in my ears, A-Troupe all huddled together, their hands held up high in triumph, a few of them pulling everyone into one warm, tight embrace...wow...oh, wow...this was still all surreal. Was this really happening? Although it seemed like forever while I was completely lost in thought, it's only been a few minutes and by the looks of it, this celebration was seemingly never-ending. My eyes stared blankly towards the rest of A-Troupe all over again, this time, avoiding myself from getting lost in thought once more, a pair of arms abruptly wrapped around me, pulling me tightly into an embrace. It was Chloe. No matter what I've done to wrong her not too long ago, that hug just proved without saying that she had completely forgiven me and that nothing else mattered except this special moment of their win, and I just knew that with that, I couldn't pull away and hugged her just as tightly. I tried my very best to refrain from my thoughts, dismissing every inch of my regrets and ran towards the rest of the team with open arms. Much to my surprise, they welcomed me in for that wave of an embrace with arms as open as mine were. Michelle, Giselle and Thalia were the first ones who ran up to me, just taking in this moment and how happy we all were. Ironically, they were the first who truly welcomed me and treated me as a friend when I was that infamous schemer and now, seeing the look on their faces, I couldn't deny that they truly did see me as a part of their team and I couldn't be happier, now knowing that I could most definitely call myself their friend. I guess that was their way of saying they forgave me and honestly, there was nothing better than that. As I made my way through the crowd of A-Troupe, going from jump, to hug to a word of congratulations, from James to Eldon, West and even Hunter and even Riley who randomly leapt into my arms for yet another celebratory embrace, I couldn't deny this feeling boiling deep inside of me. It wasn't anger, nor fear nor bitterness….it was joy. Pure joy. I've never felt this way before after a competition. Not even with Elite. Not even in my life! This was the first time I ever felt these emotions churning from the pit of my stomach to the bottom of my heart. I felt like the happiest girl in the world right now, and nothing, not even that one last infuriated look from Lucien who looked me in the eye just now, leaving the auditorium with a huff, could ever take that away from me. It was like a breath of fresh air and all at once, I felt like a little girl again, a young dancer who was once chasing her dream of being the best dancer she could be who finally grew up and achieved her grandest of goals, dancing on the Nationals stage alongside the people she knew and loved. This was a dream come true and quite easily, things took a quick turn from this being the worst day to the best day of my life.
As the rest of A-Troupe continued to celebrate up on stage, I slowly backed away, beaming to myself as I backed up, not realizing that I bumped into the one person I hadn't had the chance to share this special moment with...Emily. As I turned around, it surprised me that I, of all people, wasn't met by her infamous scowl. I stood there before her, speechless, not knowing what to say after everything I made her go through wanting so badly to apologize for everything the way I did Michelle while we shared the stage awaiting the results...or more…
"Emily…" I smiled nervously as our eyes met, hoping the words out of my mouth wouldn't come out awkwardly, "I-I don't even know what to say...I-I can explain everything, I promise you, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm so-"
"Stop," she halted me firmly with her words, still looking me in the eye with a blank expression on her face. Now I knew I was in for it. She was angry with me and even if that was what I feared the most, I deserve it and I don't blame her. I turn around to walk off and before I could get any further, I feel her hand clutch onto my shoulder pad, stopping me.
"Amanda…" she started as I turned towards her again, her features now softened as she leaned against her silver crutches. Huh...that was weird. I thought she was going to call me out for it, but apparently, she's not.
"Yeah?" I say softly.
"Amanda, I want you to know that I'm not mad at you."
Wait, what? There's gotta be something wrong with my hearing.
"You're not?!" I gently exclaimed as my jaw dropped slightly in surprise.
"Come on, why would I be? The Next Step just won Nationals and I'm not one to ruin it for anyone. Even for you." she chuckled sassily before placing her right hand on my shoulder, looking me straight in the eye once again, now with a more serious expression in her face. I guess there's more to her explanation than I thought.
"Look Amanda, I know you still feel like you don't deserve all this happiness surround you even if you're the reason these guys were able to compete in the finals in the first place," she began.
Wait...how did she know that these were the exact things that I was thinking?
"But, I know exactly what it's like and how it feels to get a second chance and you might not feel like you deserve it now, but you do. You know why?"
"Why?"
"Because even if you're the reason we almost didn't make it into Nationals, you're the reason that we won Nationals. I hope you know that."
With that, she ended with a smile. Wow...I don't even know what to say...now I'm even more speechless than I've ever been...but even more, I'm touched at everything she told me just now that I feel my glassy eyes churn up a set of tears, just waiting to roll down my cheek any second now.
"Thank you," I say softly as tears begin to fall and Emily pulls me into a warm embrace, just like the rest of A-Troupe did (maybe even tighter than the rest), "And I'm sorry, Emily. For everything."
"Well, you should be," she teases me in between the hug. Classic Emily. She's still got that in her, hasn't she?
"But I forgive you. I mean, why wouldn't I after you did what you did just now to make us win?"
We both share a small moment of laughter as we simultaneously pull away, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. I guess it's safe to say that with the little talk we had just now, we've officially sealed our friendship and it didn't look like it was going anywhere else anytime. With that, she gave me a gentle push towards the stage as I ran into the still open arms of the rest of my team, the girls catching me in another hug once again. This was crazy, but I'm okay with crazy. This kind of crazy. The good kind of crazy. The best kind of crazy there's ever gonna be. At this moment, I feel like everyone at The Next Step hasn't just grown to be my friends. Now, it totally feels like they are my family. Sure, we've obviously gotten off in the wrong foot, met a heck of a lot of road bumps along the way, but as time went by, I somehow knew that with these new-found friendships I've established, there was much more to them than I ever realized and I never really knew just how much I've grown to love them and how much all of them mean to me. Still, I don't know if they'll completely trust me just yet. At some point I'm gonna have a whole lot of explaining to do just so we can clear the air a little bit more, but we'll save that for later. Right now is all that matters. Right now, we can forget everything that happened and just celebrate and share this far beyond special moment, thinking about how far we've come since then.
I know that nothing can change the past or what I did to let everything happen, but all I ever needed in my life was the chance to start over. A chance to start anew. A fresh start...that's what I really needed all this time. And luckily, there are my new friends...true friends who I know I can count on in the long haul. At least I know now that if I can take on any challenge, I'll never be alone. I know I'll have everyone on A-Troupe conquering anything and everything together and nothing or no one will be stopping us anytime soon. As long as I know I've been changed, thankfully for the better, because I knew them all, I have been changed for good.
THE END
A/N: Well, that's it! This one-shot may have been a long-shot but I'd definitely like to know what you think of it. Please leave a review or a PM to let me know and I really, really hope you enjoyed it! Here's to all of us TNS fans on this site and here's to the amazing characters and show we all know and love. To all you who have seen Season 4, I hope you're enjoying it so far (because I am), and to all of you in the UK, I can't wait for all of you to see it. Remember, in the words of Frank Van Keeken, when in doubt, Jiley is forever!
Cheers!
Keep defying gravity!
~ASianSuccessor2012
P.S. Anyone else catch the "Wicked: The Musical" references in this story? I know I have. Just take a look at the summary, haha!
