Disclaimer: I don't own Make it or Break it. I don't make any money off of this story.

Warnings: Rape and cursing. Don't like, please don't read.

Please no flaming either; if you don't like it use the back button.

I just stood there in shock, rooted in my spot, and shaking in terror. Pregnant; I'm being told by someone, that I have never meant before in my entire life, that I'm pregnant! I turn slightly, in my current state of utter panic, to look at my coach, Sasha. Not even that brought me any minuet amount of comfort. He was presently staring at me, anger written clearly on his face, and disappointment more than anything, shining in his eyes. I had worked so hard in the past to gain his damn trust. I had failed him; my coach and mentor. My career as a gymnast, has just been single, handily destroyed, in a matter of mere seconds with the biggest bombshell a career bound Olympian could possibly face: pregnancy. This dream I have fantasized about since I have been a little girl is gone! Everything I trained so hard to achieve is gone. All that training, pain, tears, and the joy of the sport gone! The enormity and reality of the situation just came crashing down around me in waves and now, currently, resting on my shoulders; this huge weight is threatening to pull me to the ground and possibly not let me get back up. It's just not fair! Why, why is it that every good thing is taken away? It's just not fair! Then again, I should know life is rarely ever fair.

Every single damn person, my mother, Brian, Kayile, Payson, Lauren, Sasha, and every other mother and father at the gym are falsely going to assume that I got pregnant out of my own free will. They are going to just assume I had glorious, rebellious sex with Damon. God that notion would be so much better compared to the reality life has cursed me with. We were going to, though, have sex; we were so close. I stopped us before it got to the point of no return. I wanted more; as did he. It just wasn't feasible; it would hurt my career too much. Not that, it isn't hurt, well destroyed, right now as it is. I wish I could hold onto the memory, with my downfall, of my love-making with Damon, yet I cannot. I wish that all the assumptions that people are going to believe are right. I am the only one that knows how blissfully ignorant they are.

At this point, stopping my train of thoughts completely, the room starts spinning. Light headedness and nausea start to take over. I quickly interjected a swift, "May I go to the bathroom?" Without even truly waiting for a response, I ran out of the room and to the restroom. I slam the bathroom door shut, rip open the stall, and throw myself onto the cold, tiled floor. All of a sudden my body is racking in sobs and I am dry heaving over the toilet bowl. My throat is burning from the sudden expulsion of my stomach contents.

This wasn't supposed to happen! Pregnancy and sex were supposed to be enjoyable and with someone you love. Then again sometimes life throws curveballs and you aren't always prepared with what's in-store. This is definitely one of those curveballs. Sex was supposed to be an experience to cherish and it's also supposed to bring pleasure to you. It sure as hell wasn't pleasurable; it had hurt like hell. Then again, not that anyone would think of my experience like this, I didn't actually want to have sex. I said no; I said it over and over again. It didn't work, and it actually made things hurt worse. Well, not the word, the anger that word caused.

God, I was so dumb! Wandering the streets by myself, and in the dark was not one of my brightest ideas. Just as I was turning the corner, I was grabbed from behind. I felt something cold against my side. It was large; very large indeed, and I, at the time, assumed it was a knife. Once I was pulled into the nearest alley, I was thrown, not so gently, to the ground. The only words, this guy spoke were, "You know, you're a pretty little thing; you shouldn't be wandering around alone. There are, very bad men, just waiting to pounce on a sexy little thing like you," and "You like this? Come on, say it, bitch. You're a whore and enjoying every second of this." The son of a bitch certainly pounced; I tried to fight my attacker off. I said I liked it; he just hit me if I didn't. For my efforts at trying to fight him, my skin, not that anyone would ever find this out, is bruised and marred. Luckily, the bastard was smart, and didn't hit my face. Well at least not too badly; make- up easily covered any marks that were left. The pain he inflicted was horrible, I mean, I have been hurt many times doing a myriad of stunts. Now, though, falling on my back every day hasn't really helped my bruises to heal. I do have other marks on my body, burns from cigarettes, and bite marks. Through all of this I didn't shed a single tear, didn't scream once, and didn't stop trying to figure out how to survive. At the time, I wasn't even sure I would live; at the time, I wasn't sure if I wanted to. I did live, and although it hasn't been easy, I have been trying to keep working towards my goal: becoming a top gymnast, becoming a fierce competitor, and trying to make amends with the National Gymnastic Organization (NGO). These goals, sort of, I don't know, became my sanity. I was able to forget my pain, a little each day, when I was in the doors of the Rock. The drama between the Rock girl's became a blessing; a wanted and needed distraction. A distraction from the truth; I was hurt and my innocence was never going to be mine to give away willingly. It was forcefully ripped away from me.

I achieved one of my goals; getting the NGO off my back. Now, after this, they will never allow me back at the Rock. I'm pretty sure Sasha, nor any of my-team mates will either. This sport is, well probably now, my life. Nothing will ever be the same. My future is ruined, any money I could have gained gone, and a happy life, one filled with sweet bliss, is gone. Like I said, life is not fair!

A creak of the bathroom door snapped my train of swirling thoughts. At first, I thought I had imagined the slight noise, and then I realized I was completely sane, well as sane as I was going to get, because I heard Sasha calling my name.

Slowly, I get up off the ground and open the stall door. Once the door was opened, I'm greeted with the angry face of one Sasha Belov, and let me tell you, it is not a pretty sight. His eyes are so angry and I can still tell, by the tone of his voice, how pissed he is with me. There is also, which is worse than the anger, disappointment swirling in his eyes. I can't take the look and I go to leave but, Sasha grasped my wrist; preventing me from walking away. I can tell he is dying to say something, anything, right now, would be better than the gaze he is cursing me with.

As of now our eyes are at war with one another. I feel like he is daring me to look away, or worse have a mental break down right in front of him. Little does he know, I already had my break-down of the day; I refuse to have another one too.

Before long he breaks eye contact, takes a deep breath, and bites out an irritated, "Emily."

It is almost too much for me to bear and it nearly cracks my mask, but I still keep it up; I will not let my guard down! "Yes Sasha?" I question in a strained voice. Good job Emily! You just showed the one man, whom at this very moment can't seem to be in the same room with you without exploding, that you are upset; very good job.

Something in my voice must have cracked his rigidly, angered demeanor, because his stance changed from being on the offensive to being calmer. It was a nice change; slight, and most definitely welcomed. Softening his voice, Sasha said, "Emily, I guess as angry as I am, it is partially my fault. I was the one that promised you I wouldn't leave you. You trusted my word! What did I do? I left! I wasn't here to guide you and my voice wasn't in your mind at the time that you, well you know, did that. I shouldn't have left you Emily, and I am sorry about that."

I was the one at fault and Sasha is apologizing to me! Me! "No Sasha it wasn't your fault, believe me it wasn't," I said. There's so much hidden in those words, but I'm the only one that knows what lies beneath the surface.

Sasha simply stated, in response of my statement, "Your right Emily; it is not only my fault! You are to blame as well. This was your choice, and you knew the consequences of your actions. Let me ask you something, when you were have sex Emily, did you think of the possibility of pregnancy? My guess is no."

The question caught me off guard! How in the world could I answer that without lying to him? I don't think I can lie to Sasha, especially, to his face. Maybe a little bit of the truth mixed with careful deception would do the trick. I mean, is not telling the whole truth lying? Instead, I just opted to say nothing and shake my head in the negative, which meant that, no, I didn't think of pregnancy. Then again, the piece of scum, didn't give me the choice of him using a condom. So, technically, I didn't even get the choice of worrying about pregnancy.

Apparently, not speaking wasn't going to work for Sasha, because he yelled, "No Emily, you will talk to me. I want you to explain what the hell was going through that mind of yours"! This was the first time Sasha has specifically yelled at me. Don't get me wrong he yells; usually, he just yells at all of us. The rise of his voice was enough to make me flinch back a little bit. The flinch must have unnerved him because again he softened his voice enough to say, "Emily please, you owe me at least an explanation. Come on Emily talk to me."

The whole statement was said, in a sort of, begging manner. It startled me slightly, but gave me motivation to speak again. "Sasha, I honestly don't know what you want me to say. I'm sorry! It happened, and no explanation will change it. Plus, I don't exactly want to talk about it," Emily said in a bitter voice.

"No Emily, you will not shut down! This happened; you actually have to face your mistakes. This time, unlike the last, wasn't a mistake made out selflessness; this was made out of selfishness! You chose to find sexual gratification without thinking, and it damaged your entire future. It was a selfish choice and one you will need to deal with, because it will not go away," Sasha snapped out.

Selfish, that is a joke; I was definitely not selfish; that man, if you could even call him a man, was. An animal, now that is a more appropriate term for him; at least I feel it is. I don't even know how the hell to respond to his accusations! It pisses me off that he just assumes I had sex out of my own free will. My heart is swelling with anger and sadness, and before it totally consumes me I try to leave. Sasha grabs my arm and holds firmly; anger clearly etched on his face. Before I even try to get out of his grasp I wince in pain, and I yelp out a strangled, "Let me go! Let me go!"

With speed that I forgot Sasha had, he let me go. Concern is now plastered on his face; instead of that anger I had gotten used to in the last ten minutes. With a new-found hesitance he begs, "Emily, come on, talk to me. At least give me something to work with here, I'm getting to the point where I'm desperate. Let me in again, Emily, you used to be able to talk to me. Talk; I'll listen to you! Please Emily."

His kindness is just too much for me to handle; I could deal with an angry Sasha! This is too much though. I break and a crash hard; I don't talk, no I yell in anguish, "Sasha, how dare you! Talk; talk! You want me to talk to you. I shouldn't you know. You have no right to demand an explanation out of me, especially after everything you said to me. I should walk out, really I should, but I won't do that to you. I can't, even after your damn accusations, I can't. First, you need to listen to me and not interrupt! If you do, well I'm done, and I will walk out of here and not look back. I'll correct some of your assumptions and accusations. I was going to have sex with someone but I stopped it before we did. I left his house and walked home, alone, in the dark. Some guy pulled me aside, beat me up, and forced me to have sex with him. Now, I'm pregnant and being accused of being selfish and not thinking of my future. Well you know what I had no choice, so I appeased him and went along with it; I thought it was my only chance at survival. I've been training hard, so I would forget everything, and it was working so well until this happened!"

As I said all that, I watched Sasha's face go from anger, (at my demanding things of him), to confused, and to sickly pale. I watched him, amused despite the situation, open and close his mouth several times. My assumption, he is at a loss of words, just as I had been several times during this conversation. Through my fuming I notice him getting angrier until he explodes and hits the stall door. He hits it and then he is slightly crying. He'd deny it but he is. Turning to look at me he says, "Emily, I'm sorry, I was wrong to say any of those things to you. God Emily I'm sorry! This shouldn't have happened to you and I'm sorry."

I look at him and then beg, "Sasha, you can't say anything. I haven't told me mom yet, please don't say anything. I can handle people thinking I'm stupid, reckless, and selfish; let it stay that way, at least until I'm ready. Please."

I look, through my tear-filled eyes up to his, and see him shake his head in agreement. That is all it took for those damn tears to make it down my face. I collapse against him, pull him down with me, and sob. He just comforts me by wrapping his arms around me in a strong embrace. He doesn't speak, but no words are needed; at this point no words will help me. Somehow he knows that I just need his presence; besides, Sasha isn't known for his words of wisdom anyway, right?

Breaking us out of our embrace is Ellen Belles. She storms in and demands answers out of me. Answers that, like with Sasha I didn't want to give; like Sasha, though, I didn't really have a choice. Belles wanted me out of the Rock, and at this point she is going to get her wish. "Someone is going to tell me what the hell is going on and I mean now," she screams. I wince as I hear the sheer volume of her voice.

I hear Sasha trying to defend me, by trying to stall her but it isn't working. So gently I say, "It's okay Sasha; I'll just tell her."

"Emily," he says, "You don't have to do this."

I nod in agreement with him but begin talking anyway, "Ms. Belles, I'll tell you what you want to know. I want this kept quiet though! I know you, and I know how you operate! Sasha is currently the only one that knows this secret that I'm about to tell you. I want it kept that way. Understood?"

Inwardly, I laugh and the incredulous look on her face; it says, "What the hell." I wait, until she nods; she finally must realize I'm not going to talk until she agrees with me, because she eventually, albeit delayed, nods. "I'm sure you are here because you heard I was pregnant. Or, let me guess, you wanted to confirm the rumor for yourself? Yeah, well, you're here; so, I guess I'm right. Well, I am pregnant, and I bet you can't wait to see me leave. Well you're gonna get what you wanted all along; me off the team. Must make you real happy, doesn't it? Well, guess what, maybe this will, I don't know, make you reconsider being so happy, I was raped! Yes raped! And that is how I got pregnant. Anything you wanna add to make me feel like crap, well crappier than I already feel?"

I hear her gasp and it makes me want to laugh; guess that is not what she was expecting. Like Sasha, she was assuming things that she didn't have a right to assume. She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. She tries again and finally she says, "I-I um, wow, um I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry Emily! You were right; I was looking for a reason to get you out of the Rock. This, though, is something that I would never have wanted to happen to you. I am so sorry. I promise you, Emily, I won't tell anyone this. They will need to know your pregnant; not how, though. I won't say how; you have my word. You can still come to the Rock. I won't make you leave."

She says that and then walks back out the doors. I am left speechless; maybe, my dreams are not totally destroyed, just maybe. I look at Sasha and he gives me a small smile and nudges me out the door. Together we walk outside, now that I look a little better, to meet the other Rock girls. I see them and they all give me a hug. I know that they will find out I'm pregnant. It will get out. They are my team; they deserve to know what happened. Not now, though; when they start asking questions then I'll tell them.

On the plane ride back, I think about the hell I'm going to endure for the next nine months. It won't be easy and I don't expect it to be either. At least I'm not alone now; Sasha is with me. Hopefully with his support he can guide me and help me through these trying times.

Please Review! Tell me what you think! Should I continue or should I leave it as a one-shot? Let me what you think please!

Next up, if I continue, is Emily telling her team-mates!