No one had any idea. None. It had been an equal surprise to everyone – the one it was being done to included – when he had suddenly started squealing like a fan girl. Even Inferno later admitted that he had been too surprised to even feel the least bit possessive.

Of course, Red Alerts look when he learned that another security director was on Earth and happened to be a fan of his was absolutely priceless. It was a recording that Inferno would never, ever give up despite pleas from the rest of the Ark

One hour earlier:

Red Alert saluted crisply with one hand as Optimus Prime walked by. He didn't bother looking up, too busy trying to figure out what he was going to do with the newest datapad he had been given.

"Prowl-" Red Alert contacted over the comm. Link, "-The data doesn't say how many humans we're going to be receiving."

"It is currently unknown, due to it still being in the early planning stages. We're trying to decide between inviting the leaders of business, or just political leaders."

A slight noise was all Prowl got in answer. "What about the Presidential tour?"

"That is today, just in time to meet the newest recruits." Prowl reminded.

Red Alert cursed. "Today? Slag it, I still need to set up a little-"

"Set up? I thought you assured me that you were all set up." Prowl stated.

"Set up as in tie up the twins in a closet and tranquilize them." Red Alert growled. "I already got clearance from Ratchet."

"Please do so." Prowl agreed. "Today is too important for the twins to mess everything up."

Red Alert quickly began walking, his optics scanning the area to see if he couldn't find the twins. He couldn't. Anywhere.

And it was really beginning to scare him. Quickly he contacted the security room, vowing for the fifth time that day he would go to Wheeljack to find some way with hooking up his cameras to his CPU so that way he didn't have to contact the security room every time he needed to find someone.

"Yeah Red Alert?" Came Hounds cheerful voice.

"Hound, I need you to check the cameras for Sideswipe and Sunstreaker."

Silence fell for a few moments, before Hound said slowly, "I… don't see them."

"Don't see them as in their threatening you, or don't see them as nothing on the cameras?" Red Alert demanded, frustrated.

"I don't see them on any of the cameras."

"Fine."

Red Alert switched his comm. Link to an open channel. "Has anyone seen Sideswipe or Sunstreaker in the past hour?"

Negatives came back, filling his auditory receptors. He hissed softly, becoming slightly frustrated. "Who was the last to see them?"

"I saw them an hour and a half ago. They were headed out the Ark's door-"

That was all he needed. With a speed that always surprised mechs until they realized that Red Alert was a race car, Red Alert moved to the Arks entrance.

"Just as I thought. They didn't sign out, they didn't even have the decency to-" he broke himself off, staring out the door, frustrated. With the twins loose, they could ruin everything so badly Red alert would have to use a microprocessor to find a single shred of his plan left intact.

With a flick, a page was sent off to their private pagers. Two replies came back instantly, :We saw someone coming down who wasn't supposed to, and we went to go see if it was Decepticons.:

:Next time, sign out. You won't be severely reprimanded this time because you took imitative and responsibility to go check it out, but what would happen if you were captured-:

Sideswipe switched over to his comm. link. "Chill out Red Alert! You would've noticed by yourself soon enough. After all, you knew we had been gone an hour-"

"And why didn't you contact me to explain where you were?"

"Well- we were talking."

"To who? Who came down twins?"

"We never met them before, but we got a mech named Starswing, and his friend-"

There was a short crackle of static before another voice joined in on the link. "I'm Seawave. Nice to meet you."

Red Alert growled, "Get back to the Ark, before I send Brawn after you to haul you back. We have the president visiting in another half-hour, and Ratchets been looking for you as well."

Red Alert shut off the comm. link, wondering with a sigh he why he was avoiding Inferno again. The stomping of angry feet reminded him. Quickly he moved away from the doorway and into a safely sheltered nook to watch as Inferno storm past in high dungeon.

He really is working hard for me to get some real rest. Have too much to do however. Gotta keep moving.

Red Alert slid out of his nook as Inferno once again attempted to contact him over the comm. link. "Red, I know you're listening to me, and it's high time you got some rest-"

Red Alert wondered idly if he could memorize what Inferno was saying. He repeated it about once every half-hour. "-and if you don't come now I'll get Ratchet to help me tie ya down." Inferno finished, highly frustrated.

Red Alert hesitated over talking to Inferno, but he flicked on the comm. Link. "Inferno, I've currently got Ratchets backing to stay up for the next three orns."

"Three orns." Inferno checked his internal chronometer. "Just enough time to end your fourth cycle without recharge. How do ya do it anyways?"

"I don't think about it." Red Alert said, before clicking off.

Inferno stared at his comm. link, disgusted. At last, giving up, he walked slowly towards the cafeteria, before remembering that due to a rather impressive rampage, Grimlock had rendered unusable about half of the dispensers. The other half was crowded by the new mechs. He rerouted himself in the direction of the Arks main doorway, deciding that he was going to at least get some fresh air.

He got to the door, just as Red Alert remembered that he needed to be by the doorway to greet Prime with the President. With a sigh he turned around slowly. Red Alert got to the door, not spotting Inferno until it was too late.

Inferno pounced on him, figuratively. "Ya look horrible Red."

"I believe the term you wish to use would be not well rested." Red Alert said primly, a little of his own, slightly black humor showing through.

"Ya really must be tired if you're cracking jokes like that." Inferno murmured, eyeing his friend. Red Alert shot him a slightly pointed glance, before returning his optics to the front. "Sure ya don't want to get some recharge?"

"Too much to do. I'm already using up all my resources as is." Red Alert protested. "I've still got three more security measures that I have to look through-"

"And then by the time you finish with that four or five things will pop up." Inferno groused. "Don't ya ever think about-"

"OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

Red Alert and Inferno turned hands reaching for weapons. To their surprise a lightly colored purple and grey mech stood there, clutching onto their companion. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker looked just as surprised. "Are you really RED ALERT?" Came the happy squeal from the purple mech.

Red Alert was gaping unprofessionally at the mech. "Yes I am-"

The purple mech looked about ready to faint from pure joy. "Oh my gosh, I am such a big fan!"

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker exchanged incredulous looks. Fan? They mouthed at each other, before looking at the purples mechs companion who also looked at the purple in surprise. But not a very good surprise. "Starswing, what do you mean by that."

Witchdance grabbed his companion, shaking him. "Do you have any idea of what a legend stands before you?"

Sideswipes and Sunstreakers faces were acquiring stuffed looks as Red Alert stiffened. Inferno simply rocked back to enjoy all the expressions. "He's the one who designed the security for the 'Dome'! He's a legend among all of us security directors!"

" 'Dome'?" Inferno echoed, confused. He had never heard such a thing-

"How can you not know what the Dome is?" Came back the screech. "It was one of the least fortified, most obvious blind spots on the planet! Neither army wanted it because although it would provide a good place to attack from, it was too easily recaptured! The despair of Security Directors everywhere-"

Red Alert murmured to Inferno, "I just went through for an entire month to dig out every secret passage, map out the ground floor, and rewire the cameras. That's all that needed to be done."

Inferno wondered which base the dome actually was, or if it had been captured by the Decepticons as Witchdance continued ranting. "His security setups are the best you'll ever find anywhere-"

"Red Alert, what is going on?"

The small group turned to Optimus Prime. The leader was standing there with a peculiar expression as if he had just watched one of the 'kid' human cartoons. "Optimus Prime sir!" Red Alert saluted sharply, optics traveling over the group, wincing inwardly at how it must look. "Just about to get Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to get the newest arrivals inside-"

"Hm, I see you've already met your partner."

"Partner?" Inferno had never, ever imagined Red Alerts voice could squeak just in that way.

"You told me that you wanted another security director to help. He was the closest one."

Red Alert looked horrified.

A/n: Written because someone once imagined a self insert where they got to meet Red Alert, so i magicked them in here just for them. Plus, I wanted to do something like this...