He doesn't think I notice, but I do. I've noticed the way he talks to her, the way he talks about her, and more than anything I've noticed the way his eyes light up when her image stands before him on the holovid. There's nothing else I've ever seen that can bring that same light to his eyes. Believe me, I've looked. Even the shadowed joy that follows a victory can't compare with the quirk of his lips when Senator Amidala's image is the one speaking through the static. The first time I saw them speak to each other, in Jabba's Palace, was the first time I saw his face so open and vulnerable. It was the first time I'd ever heard love in his voice.
He has no reason to tell me, and every reason to hide it. He would most likely be expelled from the Order if anyone were to discover, and so I avert my eyes and listen to the engines humming beneath our feet instead of the pitch of his voice and the slow, sweet way she speaks to him even when the words convey the horrors of this war.
I know it's forbidden, but sometimes I have to wonder why. For someone like my Master, how can she be anything but strength? She is the quiet to his noise, the calm to his storm, the light to his dark. Even I can see that – and I'd like to think the Council would too, if he would only tell them instead of hiding this away. It eats at him, this love, and love shouldn't be like that. I might not know much, but I know love is strength. It is power, it is passion, it is the ground we stand on. How can it be that, when you have to hide it away in the dark? How can you stand firm and tall when you're afraid the ground may crumble from beneath your feet at any moment?
They tell us that passion is the way to the Dark Side, but it can't be so black and white as that, can it? It can be a source of strength, not just of weakness. How can the Jedi shrink from the thing that makes us complete?
I know Master Kenobi must know something. Maybe not the whole of it – but then, I don't even know if I know the whole of it. But I can guess. The way he looked when she was in trouble, I've never seen him look that way before. He cares about her, he truly does, and if anything were to happen to her, I don't know what would become of him. I don't want to think about that, don't want to think about the way this war is tearing people and places apart with no mercy and no end in sight. We fight battles and suppress the enemy, but we never drive them away for good. Every victory is tainted by the knowledge that they will be back, stronger than ever. I wonder if he'll ever get to go home to her again. I wonder if maybe when there's peace he'll be able to set his secret free.