Call My Name
Touken Ranbu Fanfiction
Pairing: Yamatonokami Yasusada x Kashuu Kiyomitsu
By LuminouzYui / Yui Kagamine
Warnings:
*Female OC for Saniwa. I pictured her as the mature type, but feel free to imagine her!
*Please ignore the fact that we can have duplicate swords
*This is a male x male story, please refrain reading this if you don't like this kind of relationship
Beta-ed and proof read by two of my friends whose name are prohibited from being published…
Disclaimer: Touken Ranbu is a game from DMM and Nitroplus. I don't own anything except this fanfiction and my female OC!
Note: I will save the author's rants after the story ends! I hope you enjoy this fanfiction :D
-Kiyomitsu's POV-
"Kashuu, don't slack on your duties!"
"I won't lose today too, Kashuu!"
"How long are you going to groom yourself, Kashuu. Master is waiting, you know?"
'Kashuu' this, 'Kashuu' that. Even though I always called him 'Yasusada', his given name, he never even once, since coming to this citadel, called me with my given name. In the past, he used to call me 'Kiyomitsu', but I guess it won't happen anymore. As a good partner of him both in the previous and current era, I thought I was close to him, but maybe it was only my imagination because it looked like that he had been trying to distance himself from me.
Seeing him like this made me wonder if he still had the same personality of him in the past or if he undergone a major change after I was abandoned in that incident. The 'Yasusada' I knew was always bright and cheerful, but strict when things got serious, just as that person did, our previous Master. That 'Yasusada' had always been close to me, ever since he opened his heart to me and our Master, of course. I really longed for that warm, kind-hearted 'Yasusada'. The current 'Yasusada' too, was bright and cheerful, and even stricter than before. But when facing me, he was not. He felt cold and gloomy, and it seemed he didn't like being together with me.
"shu.. oi Kashuu! Do you want your share of dango or not?! I am going to eat yours too if you are not going to answer!"
When I came to my senses, Yasusada was waving a stick of dango, our favorite snack, in front of my face.
Was it already snack time?
How long has it been since I sat here, on the citadel's balcony, staring at the blossoming sakura tree while being deep in thought?
"Eh… Eh?! Of course I want it, baka! Give it to me now, Yasusada!" I reached his hand to take that dango, only to get that snack's stick shoved to my hand.
"Next time you spaced out again like that, I will really eat your share." As he finished saying that, he started eating his share.
"Yeah, yeah", and we passed our snack time in silence as usual… or not.
"Nee, Yasusada…" I called to him, staring down to my hands that were fiddling with leftover dango stick.
"Hmm?"
"Do you like me?"
"Yeah, I like you."
That answer felt… cold.
"…Why are you even asking this?"
"No, it's just…"
I couldn't think any words to reply his question. It felt like my heart was going to betray me and was telling me to cry. I didn't want to look that pitiful, so I tried to hide it.
"You know, I like you as much as I like Okita-kun…"
Alerted by the name of our previous master that had been said, I turned to look at his face. But to my disappointment, he was staring at the Awataguchi tantous that were playing together in the garden.
Or maybe at the sakura tree...?
"I love both of you because both of you taught me what is it to love and to be loved. I liked the scenery we looked together, enjoyed the times when we fought together with Okita-kun, and felt happy when we were watching Okita-kun playing cheerfully with the neighborhood children. Even though he couldn't see us nor listen to what we were saying, but I was always fond of him, and love it when he talked to us, telling us his stories. But… I guess it won't happen anymore, as we are now living in a different time from Okita-kun."
And then, silence engulfed both of us, I could only hear the laughs and shouts from the playing tantous.
"Yasusada…"
"Ah my bad," he turned his head to look at me and smiled, "… even though I know you don't like it when I talked about Okita-kun, sorry…"
He stood up from his place, "I have to continue doing field works, Horikawa-san won't like it if I am gone for a long time. See you, Kashuu."
And with that, he walked to the field.
Stupid Yasusada, even you could had that pained look when talking about that person, huh?
I wonder what kind of expression I was wearing when he talked about that person?
That night, Master asked me, Yasusada, Horikawa, and Izuminokami to meet her. As much as I didn't want to meet Yasusada mainly caused by that afternoon's awkward conversation, I still have to meet him sooner or later anyway because we slept in the same room. Setting that aside, the four of us had assembled together in the meeting room, waiting for our master to come.
"I wonder if it's about the sortie the tantous team had done yesterday night?" Horikawa, being the last one to come, opened the conversation as he sat beside Izuminokami.
"Ah, the sortie to the Kyoto? Being the first ones to experience fighting in the night, they are really lucky to manage coming back with three medium damaged swords, and the rest were lightly damaged, right?"
It was really glad to see them coming back safely despite they had to fight with stronger enemies with their small build. I still remembered when Ichigo hurried to the gate to be the first one to welcome the tantous. Such a nice big brother, but maybe it was just him worrying about his little brothers.
"Yeah that one, maybe the next place that will be attacked has been decided… but to be calling us, Shinsengumi swords, and about sortie in the night… can it be, 'that' place?"
"Ikedaya?"
I cringed at the name of the place. That one place where I was broken and disposed, abandoned by that person.
"That's right, Izuminokami."
A female voice could be heard, and all four of us looked at the door to see our Master who was entering the room.
That's right, let me explain, our current Master is a Saniwa, who is able to breathe lives to objects. She is currently battling with the history changing fraction with us, the swords whose lives are given by her, to prevent them in changing history.
"As Izuminokami said, the next place will be Ikedaya. As we are speaking now, the sortie team to scout and clear the surrounding area has been sent. When they come back to citadel, we can prepare a better strategy to tackle Ikedaya, but… I want to hear your opinions first, as all of you should ever been in that place before… maybe except Yamatonokami?" she looked at Yasusada, who was nodding his head when Master raised the question mark. Well, Master knew about our pasts to a certain extent, so she needed our confirmation regarding our pasts here and there.
"It's okay, Yamatonokami. Then, since this will be our first indoor battle, can you all give some advice?"
Three of us told her everything that we knew about that incident and all of us thinking up some strategy and battle formations that can be used.
As the meeting was coming to an end, Yamanbagiri knocked on the door, telling us that the sortie team had come back. Master then told us to go back to our rooms and have a good night rest, because it looked like she would make a sortie team consisting four of us and two tantous for the next night's sortie. After she finished giving her instructions, she excused herself to look at the condition of the sortie team with Yamanbagiri. The four of us also retreated to our own rooms.
As Yasusada and I walked through the corridor to our room in silence, I could feel myself spacing out, thinking various things like "what if I met that person?" or "what if I broke myself again?"
"Don't worry I will protect you." Yasusada voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
Did I said them out loud?
"Eh?"
"I said, I will protect you, Kashuu." He said as he opened the door to our room and entered it to prepare the futons.
"… I can protect myself, you know?"
"Yeah, yeah. Just don't blame me if you got injured or broken by the enemies."
"… Ugh, you sure are strict. Then let's do this together, Yasusada!"
"Mm…"
In the morning, Yamanbagiri gave us the member list for the sortie from Master. The team consisted of me, Yasusada, Horikawa, Izuminokami, Yagen, and Atsushi with Horikawa as the leader. The sortie's objective is to clear Ikedaya's 2nd floor from the enemies. He told us to prepare and the team was to leave at dusk.
The time to depart quickly came and Master wished us good luck. Arrived in front of Ikedaya, all of us helped each other to reach the window connecting to the 2nd floor, and the battle started after we successfully infiltrated the Ikedaya's 2nd floor.
It had been tough battle, but some enemies felt weaker than usual. The tantous from the sortie before noticed this and Master had told us about that. Nevertheless, the battles were still hard, thanks to the yari-type enemies. At one point where we were going to continue raiding another room, Horikawa noticed that Yasusada had gone missing, so we decided to split up to the previous rooms to search for him.
When walking past a strangely familiar room, I could hear something that sounded like Yasusada. I stopped in front of the door to open it.
"… rry, Kiyomitsu."
I stopped my hand from opening the door upon hearing that. My… name?
"… for leaving you here alone. Okita-kun didn't meant it, he still love you until his end, you know."
My body felt like it had turned into stone. I couldn't move my hands to open the door and ask him various things that currently popped in my head. I could only… listen to his pained voice.
"I could not protect you at that time, even I didn't know what exactly happened to you. It was just terrifying… seeing Okita-kun came home bathed in his own and the enemies' blood, and without you by his side. Later when he was healthy enough, he told me what happened to you. He even fetched your broken sword body and tried to repair you, but there's just no blacksmith willing to. But don't you worry, I will protect the current you properly, Kiyomitsu."
Then, he didn't say anything anymore. But I still stood in front of the door motionlessly.
Afraid to see Yasusada.
Afraid to see the motionless me inside.
Afraid... that the current me will break.
"I wonder if Horikawa-san is mad right now, for me selfishly leave the team just to see your condition…"
"Kashuu-kun!"
I nearly jumped when I heard Horikawa touched my shoulder and called my name.
"Is Yamatonokami-kun there? We can't find him in the other rooms… why are you even standing here and not checking the room?"
With that, he opened the door, revealing Yasusada who was sitting in the middle of the bloody room, holding my motionless past self's head to rest on his lap. Beside him, there was my abandoned sword body, with its broken tip not far from it.
From the looks of it, it seemed that he was surprised too by the sudden interruption. Well, he had been wondering if Horikawa was mad, and here he was, standing in front of him.
Horikawa stood there for a moment, then he opened his mouth to speak, "Well, I don't really mind if you want to reminisce the past alone for a while… But you still have to tell us where and when you will go! I am sure Kane-san, Kashuu-kun, Yagen-kun, and Atsushi-kun won't be mad too and gladly give you the time. But, this is different, okay?"
Yasusada hurriedly wiped his face, gently put my past self on the floor, and stood up to walk toward us. There were traces of tears on his face, but I didn't dare to point that out to him.
"Sorry, Horikawa-san, and all of you too." He glanced at the other who were already assembled behind us when Horikawa was talking.
"You are so going to receive your punishment from me later, Yamatonokami, for making us worry." Said Izuminokami with sulking face.
"Yeah yeah, please forget about it now, Kane-san. We still have enemies to defeat. Now, everyone has assembled, let's continue!"
The sortie was a success, though all of us suffered light damages here and there. Master treated the small ones first, so we were waiting for Master to call us. Horikawa, being the busy body he was, has gone to help the laundry team. Izuminokami was dragged by him too. That said, he left Yasusada and me alone in front of the repair room, waiting for Master's order. Both of us had been waiting in silence while watching the view of sakura tree in the night.
"Nee, Yasusada…" I called him, still looking at the tree in front of me. I just couldn't bear the silence anymore, and there were so many questions I wanted to ask from the previous sortie.
"What is it?"
"About that thing in Ikedaya just now… I..."
"Please forget everything about that time." He cut me off, I haven't even said anything!
Feeling angry, I turned my head to face him only to find a forced smile on his face. I lost any kind of words I wanted to say to him. That was the first time I had seen him looked like that, and I didn't recognize that side of Yasusada at all.
"Yasusa…"
"Please, Kashuu. I… know you won't like it if I say everything you want to know about this, so…"
SLAP
That sound rang on my head before my right hand felt a stinging sensation. Before I knew it, I had slapped him. Yasusada looked shocked, but he didn't even react to it, as the usual Yasusada would be.
"What do you know about me?! Don't say that you know I won't like it or not, I even haven't asked or heard anything! Do you know all this time I've always thought of you and you don't even know that's your fault?!"
"Ka…"
"Do you even know how much I have suffered just because you have changed so much? Do you know how much I want you to tell your reasons but you always try to get out of it?"
"Kashuu, tone down your voice… It's already late, you know…" he said that with a demanding tone, calmly, not even moving from the spot he was sitting.
"See?! You don't even care about anything I said just now! I always think we are partners from the first day that person introduced you as his new sword, but I guess it's just me who thinks like that, right? Or maybe that's also the reason you never tell me anything? Is it because you don't even think me as a comrade? Or because…."
I never ended that sentence. I felt my muffler was pulled and then something warm touched my lips. When I came to my senses, I realized that Yasusada had just kissed me, shutting any words I still wanted to say from leaving my lips. It was a brief kiss, but it was enough to make my mind full of that memory and couldn't think of anything else. I felt blood rushing to my head and my face became hot because of it.
"Yamatonokami! Kashuu! What are both of you quarrelling about?! Come to the repair room right now, Yagen and Atsushi had just finished their treatment!"
The timing of Master's calling to the repair room was really perfect, as if not giving us any time to do any more questioning to each other.
I ran to the repair room, leaving Yasusada trailing behind me.
I was really thankful that the repair rooms were separated for each sword, so I didn't have to see his face anymore… or so I thought, because at that time, I practically forgot that my bedroom was a shared one with his. Fortunately, Yasusada chose to keep quiet about it, and so was I.
The next morning, I found Yasusada was not in his futon anymore. Heck, the futon even had been made and put aside. Usually, he would be asleep until I had changed and preparing to groom myself. I couldn't find him in the dining room too when eating breakfast.
Master asked me to go on an expedition with the Samonjis and Yamanbagiri. When we came back in the evening, I still couldn't find Yasusada everywhere… Not that I care about him after what the night before happened… but…
"Kashuu-kun!"
I searched for the source of that familiar voice, and found the owner of the voice was running toward me.
"Why are you looking for me, Horikawa-san?"
"Well, Master said we will be having meeting right now, so I am fetching you! You are not doing anything too, right?" he said with his usual, cheerful voice and smiling face.
"Yeah as you see. Meeting room, now?"
"Yup! Let's go together."
We walked side by side toward the meeting room. Just as I thought we will be walking without any conversation, Horikawa opened it, just a few doors before reaching the meeting room.
"I heard from my brother that you are not your usual self in the expedition today."
"Huh?"
I was shocked and stopped my track. Was I really that concerned about Yasusada that it was reflected in my actions?
Horikawa then walked in front of me to face me, his usually cheerful face changed into a serious one.
"I accidentally heard your outburst yesterday, sorry. When I saw Yamatonokami-kun who desperately trying to avoid you today, or when brother said there's something wrong about you because you were not even interested when passing the shops in the expedition route, as fellow swords of the members of Shinsengumi in the past, and living and fighting together in this citadel, I can't help but worry about both of you. After all, both of you never fought that long in the past. Even now, you are seeking him, right?"
I stood there dumbfounded, couldn't find any words to reply him. After all, everything was true and it seemed that Horikawa could read us like a book.
At that moment, I could hear giggles from him and he tugged on my sleeves.
"Come on, Master is waiting, let's continue the talk after the meeting."
When we entered the meeting room, there were Yasusada, Izuminokami, and Master already sitting in the room. Master quickly told us she was proud of us for the sortie the night before and the matter about the situation of the enemies in Ikedaya 1st floor. Apparently, Yasusada and I won't be participating in the sortie, she said that both of us needed some time to straighten our relationship.
Yeah, Master knew everything that happened in the citadel. I didn't even question how because she was powerful enough to summon us, swords, in our current human bodies, so why she couldn't even know what was happening here and there in her citadel?
She talked to Horikawa and Izuminokami regarding the matter of the sortie, while I tried to follow their conversation empty-mindedly.
Some time to talk?
About what?
Is it about Yasusada avoiding me? Or the sudden outburst I didn't even mean any of it yesterday? Wait, I really meant some of them…
"So, Kashuu and Yamatonokami will have their talk done in this room." Master said, causing me to come to my senses.
"EH?!" I protested, but it was ignored.
"Until each and every matter that caused their little 'quarrel' yesterday has been talked and solved, they cannot leave the room. Horikawa, go fetch Shokudaikiri and Ookurikara, explain this situation to them and ask them to watch out for the two. Then, you and Izuminokami can go and prepare for the sortie."
Horikawa nodded his head, stood up, and went out of the meeting room. Izuminokami followed after him. Master stood up too. She patted both of our heads gently.
"Even though more or less I know what are happening in this citadel, I cannot know what are going inside your hearts. I believe both of you can finish this matter by yourselves. After all, both of you were and are partners, right?"
I looked up and saw her smiling face.
"Okay then, I will excuse myself. Both of you, make sure you talked to each other properly, okay?"
And there, she went out of the room, leaving Yasusada and I alone inside the meeting room.
"Aaah, we have really caused troubles and worries from many people…" I said, hoping to get some reaction that could get this talking rolling and done.
After waiting for some moment and got no reaction, I started to worry even more.
What if he hated me because of my attitude the day before?
"Yasusada, I…"
"Sorry, Kashuu."
Glad to know he actually could talk.
"… Me too. Sorry for my outburst yesterday… I… but I meant some of it and not going to take it back…"
"Yeah, yeah, I thought about it all day too." Then he stood up, moved his cushion, and sat to face me. ", and I think I should just let you know everything?"
"Yeah maybe you should, or we won't be getting out of this room anytime."
"You have to tell me too if I asked, promise?"
Ah, the past Yasusada…? At least that's what I felt when he said that, while pouting a little.
"Yeah, yeah, Yasusada-sama, please continue what you want to say."
After that, he talked about the illness that person suffered after that eventful day in Ikedaya, about that person who wanted to repair me and still continued to ask around even though no blacksmith was willing to, about our bedridden, helpless past master that he had to see through the end, about… how much he wanted to join both of us while he couldn't because we could never leave while our sword body could still function properly.
I listened to all of it quietly. When he ended his story, I still couldn't understand the thing I wanted to know the most.
"That's pretty much all of it, I think."
"I don't think so."
Yasusada raised his eyebrows, "Then, what is it you want to know, Kashuu?"
"That's it!"
"Eeh?"
"How come you don't call me 'Kiyomitsu' like in the past? I thought we are close enough…"
He scratched his head and sighed, "Aaah… That's… How to say it…"
"I am waiting…"
"You see, you were once broken and abandoned in Ikedaya, right? And as I told you, that night, when Okita-kun came back, carried by the other comrades, I was really terrified, and noticed that you were not there. There's also the thing about the blacksmith not wanting to repair you and they said that your sword body has 'died'. I knew it too, I couldn't feel your presence anymore, but seeing Okita-kun never gave up on you, I just couldn't move on from you too."
I didn't know how to react. Well it's just a repeat of his story before after all, so I continued to listen properly…
"But as each day passed on, when Okita-kun became bedridden and was banned from going into any battles, I realized that no one was there to accompany me, because Okita-kun couldn't see and hear us. At those times, I kind of wanted to meet you again, talk to you about various things, just like in the past. I wanted us to accompany Okita-kun until his end together. I realized I didn't want to be separated with you, but at the same time I knew it won't happen, and that we won't ever meet again. That's why I am really glad we can meet again like this."
I nodded a little. That feeling too, I knew it well. I was shocked when he came to this citadel, but at the same time I was glad because a trustworthy comrade has come. My past partner has come.
"When Okita-kun was gone, and I was left alone for so long, I couldn't forget both of you. I had grown attached to both of you, and always will. I felt lonely for being left alone. I felt sad every time I realized both of you had gone and will never come back. I like Okita-kun and you, so much that it's hurt."
I didn't know about this, anything about this. Because when I was broken at that place, I didn't have any memory of it… until I was called to this place. I was hurt too, when I was 'abandoned' by that person, but knowing the truth like this, perhaps this guy was the one who was hurting more. He raised his voice here and there when telling this story as if he's trying to held back the tears, but he still had his composure.
"And when I meet you again like this, I… don't want to be separated with you anymore. At the same time, I realized if I had grown attached to you like I did in the past, I don't think I can move on for the second time. That's why I called you 'Kashuu' instead of 'Kiyomitsu'. Humans who were grown attached to each other were calling their given name, right?"
"… That's why I told you to just call me 'Kiyomitsu'."
"..but.."
"The current me is not that weak that I will be broken again, so I won't leave you alone anymore, and you don't have to worry about it anymore. After all, you said to the past me that you will protect me, right? Before the sortie, you also said you will protect me, right? Then protect me, I am counting on you to look out for my back, partner."
Yasusada sat there dumbfounded, a moment later, he scratched his head.
"Argh, I don't think I can win against that. Yeah, fine, I will call you that, Kiyomitsu-sama."
"Oi, drop the '–sama'!"
Then we stared at each other like we were fighting, but when he started laughing, and I followed after.
"Ah, I really missed this kind of moment. I shouldn't have doubted you in the first place, Kiyomitsu."
"And I should have told you earlier instead of waiting…"
"I really love you, Kiyomitsu."
"O-Oi, where did that come from?!"
Yasusada shifted closer to me, of course I instinctively moved backwards. Being the small room this meeting room was, my back quickly touched the walls. Yasusada brought his face closer to mine, and I could feel my face grew hotter by seconds.
"Nee, Kiyomitsu, can I kiss you?"
"But you kissed me yesterday!" I protested.
He rolled his eyes, "That's because you were so noisy, I can't help it, I told you."
"That's…"
"So I can, or not?"
Those eyes were fixated on mine again. His seriousness was shown in those big, aquamarine eyes that I come to love from the first time I met you, and that feeling haven't changed.
I closed my eyes, "Do as you like."
A moment later, I could feel his cold hands on both sides of my head, and then his lips met mine. Unlike the hurried kiss yesterday, this one felt gentler and warmer. It was short, but I felt relieved and happy.
When I opened my eyes, I could see Yasusada yawned.
"I wonder if we can go back to our room… I am sleepy…"
I raised my eyebrows, "You have nothing to ask me?"
Yasusada looked confused, but his expression came back to his usual a moment later, "I did make you promise to answer my questions…"
"Yeah, sure, so what is your question?"
"Nah, I just want to know why you are so irritated every time we talked. I always thought it's about Okita-kun, but recently, even when I didn't talk about Okita-kun, you also looked irritated."
"That's because you called me 'Kashuu' every time!"
"Yeah, yeah, now I know, so… I wonder if we can go back…"
"Let's just ask the keeper outside?"
We opened the meeting room's door and found Shokudaikiri had fallen asleep on Ookurikara's lap. Ookurikara noticed it and looked at us for a while, then he gestured his hand to make us go away. When we were walking through our room, I kind of heard him waking Shokudaikiri up. I made a mental note to apologize to them the next day for making them worry about us.
Arrived in our room, suddenly a wave of sleepiness hit me and caused me to yawn. Yasusada began to arrange our futons while I changed out of my uniform into my sleepwear.
"Nee, can I sleep next to you?"
I was so sleepy that I didn't catch any negative intention from that question, I was sure he didn't have any hidden intention for that too.
"Yeah, sure, why not?"
He arranged his futon next to mine and we hit the futons together. It had been a long time since we slept side by side like this. Usually, there's some distance between our futons.
"Night, Yasusada."
"Good night, Kiyomitsu."
-End of Kiyomitsu's POV-
Sunshine hit the citadel as soon as the sun rised. There's already a few sword boys running here and there, doing their morning chores. Horikawa walked to the rooms to wake up any sleeping swords, informing them that breakfast was going to be ready, so they have to get ready. After waking his beloved Kane-san, his fellow Shinsengumi's swords comrades would be next.
Opening the door to their room, he found something interesting and a smile was formed voluntarily on his face. Those two who had been bickering, quarreling, and fighting for no reason all this time, were sleeping while hugging each other so peacefully, a sight he had never found ever since he came to the citadel after Kiyomitsu.
"Ara ara… It seems their problems were solved yesterday. I would like to leave them sleep more… but…"
He raised his voice, "Yamatonokami-kun! Kashuu-kun! It's morning! Wake up and get ready, the breakfast is almost ready!"
Kiyomitsu opened his eyes first and found out he was tangled between Yasusada arms that were hugging him and couldn't get out of it.
"Yasusada! Let me go!"
Yasusada, not a morning person he was, could only get out a few mumbles, "uuh… five… more… minutes…."
"Just let me get out right now! Argh, don't tighten your hugs, Yasusadaaaaa!"
-END-
Author Rants:
If you have read up until this point, let me give you readers some digital cookies to thank you!
This story has been bugging my mind since I read Akatsuki Shin's fanfiction about Yasusada and Kiyomitsu because she (?) used 'Kashuu', while I read every Japanese doujinshis or fanarts using 'Kiyomitsu', so it left me wondering for days. But finally, the web radio for Touken Hanamaru confirmed it because they are using 'Yasusada' and 'Kiyomitsu' after all! I love these two so much that I repeatedly replay the web radio :') Still, "Memories of Ikedaya" is a good story, I love the character development there and the scenes have been written so beautifully! You can find the preview in AO3 and maybe contact her to buy the fanfiction :D
If you noticed it, yeah, I used a part of recollection dialogue from the game XD
I posted this in my AO3 account too, so if you think you have read this before, perhaps it's from AO3 then…