Yet another fic from Bishojo #3. I originally wrote this for South Park fans, so it will be a little weird. Please read and review.
the forest
[we see about five people and a strange flying animal. One of them is a
young man about 17 years old with green eyes nad brown hair (Alex).
Next to him is a 15 year old girl with blue hair and an orange mantle on
her head (Luna). Next to her, a young man about 16 or 17 with brown
hair combed into a cowlick (Nash). A few feet away from the group, we
see two people fighting. One of them is a young 17 year old man with
dark skin and black hair down to his shoulders (Kyle). The other is a
young woman about 17 years old with long blonde hair and wearing a white
priestess robe (Jessica). Then the strange, catlike, flying animal
spoke.
Nall: Alex, where are we?
Alex: I have no idea.
Nall: You said the magic teleporter would take us to Vane, Nash!
Nash: Seal your tongue, cat! How was I to know the Magic Emperor was
screwing with the magic teleporters too?!
Nall: Well, what do we do now, Alex?
Alex: Dammit! Why is everyone asking me what to do? Can't you little
sheep think for yourselves?
Kyle: Well, you ARE the leader, Alex.
Alex: So? I don't have ALL of the answers. Did any of you take the time
to notice that town over there?
[Alex points at a town]
Jessica: I did!
Alex: Then why didn't you say anything?
Jessica: I didn't want to interupt you.
Alex: Well, let's go.
South Park
[we see the four runts walking along the sidewalk. Cartman and Kyle are
fighting as usual.]
Cartman: Why is it "okay" for you to call me fat but not for me to make
fun of you for being jewish?
Kyle: Because I can't help being jewish, but if you got up off of your
lazy ass once in in a while you wouldn't be so damn fat, tubby!
Cartman: Ay! I'm not fat I'm big boned, goddammit!
Kyle: Yeah, whatever, fatass!
[Wendy walks up to them]
Wendy: Hi, guys.
All but Cartman: Hi, Wendy.
Cartman: Oh, look Stan, it's your little girlfreind.
Stan: Shut up, fat boy!
Wendy: Hey Stan, I was just wondering if you guys saw that flash of light
from the forest about ten minutes ago.
Stan: No, we just got out of a movie, so we couldn't.
Wendy: I think something very strange is happening.
[a monster jump out at the kids]
Wendy: Like that!!
[the kids scream as the monster draws a beam on them. But before it can
attack, a bearded man wearing a hat and cape leaps from behind a
building slices the monster to shreds.]
Laike: Are you kids alright?
Stan: Yeah, we're fine now, thanks.
Laike: Ho, ho, ho! It was my pleasure to help.
Kyle: Um, excuse me sir? Are yoy like, the Jolly Green Giant or
something?
Laike: Huh?
Cartman: No, you dumbass jew! He's Santa Claus!
Kyle: Shut up, fatass! You're the Jolly Green Giant, right?
Laike: I honestly have no idea what you kids are talking about, but I do
know this. You kids better get home before you get hurt. Ho, ho, ho!
[Laike disappears]
Wendy: What a strange man.
Stan: We should be getting home anyway. It's getting dark.
Kyle: Yeah, my mom'll be mad if I don't make home in time for supper.
Wendy: See you guys later.
[the kids depart. The scene goes back to Alex and his friends.]
Jessica: Alex, that is the third monster we've slayed. Do you think the
monsters followed us to this strange world?
Alex: I guess so. Unless this world has monsters too.
Kyle: Hey! Look! A bar! Fighting ass those monsters sure has made me
thirsty!
Jessica: Oh, brother.
Luna: Mabey we should take a break, I'm getting hungry.
Nall: Me too!
Alex: Okay, good idea, Luna.
Luna: I hope they have mandarin orange Kool-Aid!
Nall: I like mandarin orange Kool-Aid too!
Luna: No Nall! Get your OWN mandarin orange Kool-Aid! I'm sick of
everyone trying to drink my mandarin orange Kool-Aid. It's getting so
that a girl can't have a little piece while..
Nall: Okay! I'll get my own mandarin orange Kool-Aid.
Cartman's house
[Cartman is asleep]
Luna's voice: (Singing) La, la la la la. La la la la la lalala. Lah la,
la..
[Alex's ocarina joins in]
[Cartman wakes up]
Cartman: What the hell is that?
[Cartman goes to his window]
Cartman: (Shouting) Ay! Shut the hell up! I'm trying to sleep,
goddammit!
[Alex and Luna stop]
Alex: (shouting) Fuck you!
Cartman: Ay!
next morning
[Kyle and Cartman are at the bus stop]
Cartman: I can't believe those sons of bitches!
Kyle: What sons of bitches?
Cartman: The ones singing last night! Didn't you hear them?
Kyle: Not really. I'm kind of a heavy sleeper.
Cartman: Well, anyway, those fartknockers kept me up all night.
[Stan and Kenny walk up to them]
Stan: Hey, idi you guys hear that girl singing last night?
Cartman: Yeah, and if I ever meet her and her little boyfriend, I'm gonna
kick 'em both sqaure in the nuts!
Stan: Yeah, well. Anyway, I have good news and bad news. The good news
is there's no school today because of all the monsters.
Kyle and Cartman: Sweet!
Stan: The bad news is that we can't play outside because of the monsters.
Kyle and Cartman: Weak!
Kyle: I'm confused. Are the monstere good guys or bad guys?
Cartman: They got us out of school, so they must have SOME good in them.
Stan: Well, I don't wanna stick around to find out. Let's go to my
house.
Other boys: Okay.
[the boys head towards Stan's house while Alex and his friends walk
towrads them in the other direction.]
Alex: If I ever find that little turd from last night, I'll kill him!
Luna: Oh, Alex.
Nall: Well, that jerk deserves it! Treating your singing like noise
pollution!
Nash: Yeah, your singing is beautiful, Luna.
Luna: Thank you, Nash.
[the boys and Alex's crew meet]
Luna: Oh, you little boys are so cute!
Stan: Um, thanks?
Jessica: Are you boys lost?
Cartman: No. We're on our way to stan's house.
Alex: (to himself) That voice sounds a little familiar....
Stan: Um, I guess we should itroduce ourselves. I'm Stan.
Cartman: My name is Eric.
Kenny: Kenny.
Kyle: Kyle's the name.
Kyle(from lunar): Hey, my name's Kyle too.
Kyle(from sp): Wow.
Alex: Now, let us introduce ourselves. I'm Alex.
Luna: My name is Luna.
Nash: You may call me Nash.
Jessica: I'm Jessica.
Nall: And I'm Nall!
Cartman: Oh my god! A talking flying cat! Hey, umm, Nall. How many
licks does it take to gget to the tootsie rool center of a tootsie pop?
Nall: That's not me, you idiot! That's a dumb owl that does that!
Cartman: Ay! Umm, okay. Then why do M&M's melt in your mouth and not in
your hand?
Nash: The thin candy shell, ofcourse! Don't they teach you peasants
anything?
Kyle(SP): Peasants?!
Luna: Nash please!
Nash: Sorry.
Jessica: Would you boys like an ecsort? It's dangerous out here you
know.
Stan: Sure. Why not?
[the group departs for Stan's house. Along the way, Kyle and Jessica
start fighting again.]
Kyle(SP): Hey, Jessica, Kyle!
Both: What?
Kyle(SP): You guys should talk to Chef.
Jessica: Whose Chef?
Stan: He's our friend. Whenever we have a problem, Chef sings to us and
makes it better. He's really good at giving advice.
Luna: Mabey he could help you two on your relationship.
Kyle(Lunar): Where's this guy live?
Stan: Here.
[Stan writes down Chef's address and gives it to Kyle and Jessica]
Luna: You two go ahead. We'll be waiting for you at Stan's house.
[Jessica and Kyle head out for Chef's house]
Stan's house
Alex: So it's not normal for monsters like this to be in your world?
Stan: No.
Nall: So they DID follow us here.
Kyle: We were also saved a strange guy yesterday.
Alex: Did his name happen to be Laike?
Cartman: He didn't say his name.
Alex: Describe him.
Stan: He had a beard, a hat, and a cape. And he kept saying ho, ho, ho.
Nall: Then it MUST have been Laike!
Luna: I wonder how he got here.
Alex: I'm going to look for him. The rest of you stay here.
Luna: Be carful, Alex.
outside Che'f house
[Chef answers the door]
Chef: May I help you?
Jessica: Sir, are you Chef?
Chef: Yes, why?
Jessica: These boys said you could help us with our problem.
Chef: What's the problem.
Jessica: Our relationship.
Chef: I've got just the thing for you. (Singing) I'm gonna make love to
ya woman! Gonna lay ya down by the fire, and caress your womanly body.
Make ya moan and perspire.
Jessica: Uh, chef sir?
Chef: (Singing) Gonna get those juices flowin'
Jessica: Chef?
Chef: (Singing) We're making love baby love baby lovelovelovelovelove
baby!!
Jessica: Chef!!
Chef: Huh?
Kyle: Hey, this guys got some pretty good ideas!
Jessica: WHAT?! You sick bastard!
[Kyle and Jessica look into eachothers eyes. Jessica's anger melts away
and taht music from "Cartman's mom is a slut part one" plays]
music: There, you are. Like a throbbing star. I want you to make love
to me.
Jessica: Whoa!
streets of South Park
[Alex is looking for Laike]
Alex: LAIKE!!
[Laike appears from behind a building]
Laike: What?
Alex: We need your help. Follow me.
Stan's house
[Alex walks in with Laike]
Nall: Alex, you found Laike!
Nash: Okay, so how do we get back?
Luna: And how did we get here?
Laike: It probably has something to do with you, Luna.
Luna: What do I have to do with this?
Laike: When you find that out, then you'll know everything. All we have
to do is find another magic teleporter.
Nall: That's it?
Alex: Easier said than done, Nall.
Nall: What do you mean?
Alex: The teleporter disappeared after we used. We have to find another
one.
Nash: But we can't find another one so, we'll have to make one.
Kyle: You can do that?
Nash: Of course. I'm a level three apprentice from the Magic City of
Vane that floats around the Goddess tower.
Stan: Huh?
Nash: Nevermind. Even with my skill in the field of magic, I won't be
able to do this alone. We'll have to wait until Jessica and Kyle get
back.
Nall: I hope you have actions to back up those words, Nash.
Nash: Seal your tongue, cat!
[Jessica and Kyle walk through the door. They have their arms around
eachother.]
Alex: I guess Chef's advice worked.
the forest
[Nash and Jessica are preparing to create a teleporter]
Nash: Think you can pull it off, Jessica?
Jessica: I'm going to try.
[Nash and Jessica begin to chant]
Nall: (whispering) I think it's working, Alex.
[a beam of light shines from the ground]
Nash: We did it!
Kyle(SP): They did?
Cartman: No way!
Stan: I guess this is good bye.
Kyle(SP): We'll miss you guys, but weAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Nash: What is it?
Kyle(SP): Monster!
[the monster from behind Alex's crew jumps over them and pounces on
Kenny, ripping his guts out.]
Alex: Oh my god! They killed Kenny!
Kyle(Lunar): You bastards!
[the monsters tackles the Kyle from South Park and slashed his arm. The
other Kyle takes his sword and decapitates the monster.]
Luna: You okay?
Kyle(SP): Yeah, thanks Kyle.
Kyle(Lunar): No problem.
Stan: We'll miss you guys, but we won't miss the monsters.
Cartman: We will miss not going to school though.
Luna: Good bye. Be safe boys!
Jessica: Give our regards to Chef!
[they walk into the magic teleporter and disappear]
Kyle: Think we'll ever see them again?
Stan: I hope so. Hey, we gotta get home! It's almost time for Terrance
and Phillip1
Kyle: Hey yeah!
the end