A big thanks to J.E.P 1996 for giving me the idea for this shortie. Hope I've done your idea justice!
"Shepard," EDI addressed Shepard as the Commander perused datapads in her cabin, intent on completing the crew's performance reviews before the day's end. "I have completed my evaluation of Javik's mental and physical wellbeing as you requested. Rather than give you an extensive report, I believe a list of the Prothean's Extranet searches will be sufficient enough for you to extrapolate how well he is settling into the crew."
"Send them on to me, EDI." Shepard barely looked up from Donnelly's evaluation report.
"Forwarding to your personal terminal now, Shepard."
"Human history"; "Commander Shepard's history"; "Shepard, Reapers, Citadel"; "Sovereign"
[new search]
"Female human history"; "Notable females in history"; "Marilyn Munroe"; [Extranet images search] "Marilyn Munroe photos"; "Commander Shepard photos"; "Commander Shepard in a bikini"
"Fornax"; "Fornax subscriptions"
[new search]
"Fish"; "types of fish"; "boneless fish"; "humpback whale"; "suppliers of wholesale fish, Citadel"
"Fish balls"; "Sushi"
[new search]
"Salarian liver"; "where to order Salarian liver"
[new search]
[Extranet Video Search] "Ultimate dog tease"
"Talking dogs"; "dog physiology"; "what do dogs taste like"
[new search]
"20 ways to artistically throw someone out of the airlock"
[new search]
"Avatar"; "James Cameron"; "blue primitives"; "blue primitives as pets"
[new search]
"21st century music"; "Gangnam style"; "How to dance Gangnam style"
[new search]
"Bruce Lee"; "Jackie Chan"; [Extranet Video Search] "Kung-Fu vids"
[new search]
"Hand moisturizing cream"
[new search]
"Miss Universe 2185"; "cosmetic surgery"; "genetic manipulation"; "Cover Girl cosmetics"; "Victoria's Secret"; "Victoria's Secret online store"; "Normandy SR2's address"
[new search]
"Separate sex restrooms"; "how to use a urinal"
[new search]
[Extranet Video Search] "Sneezing baby panda"; "endangered pandas"; "panda recipes"
[new search]
"Rachni"; "Rachni Wars"; "Spiders"; "insect spray"
[new search]
"Inter-species mating"; "Capital punishment in the 21st century"; "Nerve-Stim Pro"
[new search]
"Africa"; "African accent"; "African Government"; "Africa to take over Earth"; "The Lion King"; "what do lions taste like"; "Mufasa's voice actor"; "James Earl Jones"; "J. E. Jones fanclub"
[new search]
"Fire-proof armor"
[new search]
"Staring contest championships"; "criteria to enter staring contest championships"
[new search]
"Big stupid jellyfish"; "how to cook a Hanar"
[new search]
"Notable human literature"; "Harry Potter"; "Pride and Prejudice"; "Mr Darcy"; "Mr Darcy swimming in the lake"; "Colin Firth"
"Ah. Looks like he's fitting in just fine," Shepard smiled to herself.