I guess this is what happens when I watch too many fan videos. Not even sorry
Probably a one-shot, or whatever. Maybe. I dunno
Tell me now
How does it feel
To know you're never
Going to heal
To be honest I had stopped listening after Stefan and Enzo started arguing logistics about the latest mission to unfold in glorious Mystic Falls. I hadn't even been back for a week and already someone needed my help. Not me I should point out, my magic. Having me around was just a by-product apparently. Well, according to everyone's attitudes anyway. They all turned to me then and for a moment I panicked, wondering if I had said anything out loud. Then I realised they were waiting on me to see if I knew a spell that could help them. I didn't even bother thinking about it. I was already planning my escape in my head. I happened to lock eyes with Damon then and he gave me the notorious "Do as I say" face and that was it.
"I'm done." I said as my eyes stayed on the floor, my voice was soft, like I was testing it out after not using it for a while. To be fair I guess I hadn't. I could feel their eyes on me as the silence stuck. I didn't care. I couldn't find in myself to care anymore. I was done.
"Done?" Damon echoed and my eyes snapped up. Of course he'd be the only one to say something. Looking at him I tried to muster up some lingering hatred for him, a shred of annoyance at least but I found nothing. Instead I held his gaze and began to nod slowly. In a flash he was in my face. "You don't get to be done." he said, his voice hard and authoritative. My heartbeat didn't increase, my breathing stayed even, my face impassive. Damon Salvatore must be losing his touch.
"You don't get to tell me what to do." I replied evenly. "None of you do." I added, making sure to lock eyes with each and every one of them over Damon's shoulder. Elena, Stefan, Caroline, Enzo, Tyler, Jeremy and Alaric. "I'm done." I said, looking back up at Damon, "Whatever this is, I'm not a part of it anymore." Elena's eyes began to water and I wanted to shake her. I wanted to tell her that all she did was cry these days and that a part of me found that it had begun to devalue her feelings in my eyes. Caroline was caught up in her feelings as usual too, but I couldn't blame her - I didn't before so I couldn't start now. Besides, she'd figure it out eventually and then she'd be smiling again. They'd all be fine.
"Bonnie wait." Caroline called but I ignored her, sparing Jeremy one final glance I moved to leave the overcrowded den in the Salvatore Boarding House. Before Damon's hand could close around on my wrist he was flung against one of the walls and the sickening crack of a few of his bones did nothing to pull me out of myself. "Bonnie!" Caroline called out again. I spun around and swung my arms out, raising a force field between me and them. The sound the wall made reminded me of a bumble bee; a thick droning luminescent film that would stop them if they thought of coming too close to me. I'd made that mistake too many times before and although it was a little late, I was finally learning my lesson. I waited until Damon was standing again, his glare not worrying me in the slightest. He couldn't kill me if he tried.
"No Caroline," I hissed, "Don't try and guilt-trip me into staying, or agreeing, or whatever it is that you want from me this time. I don't want to hear it." The tears that fell as she processed my harsh tone didn't affect me at all. "I am sick and tired of this," I said my eyes darting between Elena and Caroline's faces, "All I see now when I look at the two of you is how lost we all are, how depressing this town is and how stupid I was for thinking that any of you actually gave a shit about me." I held up a hand when Elena's mouth started to open. "Save it," I said evenly, "I'm not mad. Well, not really. I mean sure," I said, leaning a little of my weight onto a plush armchair beside me as I crossed my arms over, "I helped bring back everyone that I could before Damon and I died, and sure I even managed to get both of us back and undo Alaric's compulsion on you," I made sure to convey just how dense I thought she had been with my words, "Then I had to put up with Jeremy and Sarah and every other girl he decided he wanted to 'mourn' with," I curled my fingers around the words and noted how Jeremy could no longer look me in the eye and how Enzo looked like all he wanted was a bucket of popcorn and he'd be in his happy place.
I grinned sharply, "Because we all know Bonnie Bennett is the pillar of Justice and Goodwill," My sarcasm did not go unnoticed, "But I'd just like to point something out," I stood back up to my feet and squared my shoulders, "When I leave in the next five minutes I don't want anyone following me or calling me or doing anything to try and change my mind. I'm not helping you fight against anyone, I'm not casting any spells for anyone, I'm not even willing to sit by and watch the show. I want nothing to do with any of you. The next time I die, it will be because it was supposed to happen, not because I overexerted myself with magic or I tried to bring back a ghost-fetishist," I pulled a 'yikes' face and continued, "Elena, enjoy pretending to be happy once all the commotion and excitement of this world dies down because then you and Damon would actually have to hold a conversation and agree on something other than an orgasm. Caroline, Care-Bear, just make a decision already, confused feelings don't hurt people, it's the way you act on the confusion that does. Just a thought. Oh, and as for the rest of you...I don't even have enough of myself invested to even have any parting words..." Turning around I paused and clicked my fingers, "Except for this," I sent out a pulse of magic that pulled Damon to me, safely through the force field. He narrowed his eyes at me, looking set to rip something apart. I pursed my lips and chuckled softly before stepping into his space. "Aperio." I whispered and tilted my head. Damon's body shuddered and lurched forward his eyes locked on me as he fell to his knees. Elena was yelling something from the other side of the force field but I waved my hand and cut out all the external noise. "How does it feel?" I asked him, lifting up his chin as he panted through the after effects of the spell. I watched his pupils shrink and grow until finally settling into a normal balance. A hazy smile spread across his face and for just one split second I saw something that could have been. Something that had been snuffed out before it's conception.
"I feel..." He sounded dazed and dreaming as he stood to his feet. "What did you do to me?"
"Revealed your true feelings about everything and everyone." I confessed, unashamed. He looked irritated then.
"Why would you do that?" He wondered.
"Because it's what you deserve," I said honestly, aware of how neither of us had even bothered to look beyond each other's eyes to see what everyone else was doing, "You deserve honesty and to be honest for once in your life."
"Why are you leaving?" He asked, stepping closer to me. I held a hand out to stop him but only ended up resting it against his chest.
"Because I hate who I am here." I admitted, "Kind of like how you did in the beginning, except I don't have eternity to get through it so I have to leave now before I lose my mind." he didn't bother hiding his disapproval.
"Don't." He said, like that was all it would take for me to change my mind.
"You don't get to tell me what to do." I reminded him.
"Bonnie, we've all been through too much together for you to just leave." He pressed. I wanted to laugh, the spell had worked better than I thought.
"Goodbye Damon." I said pointedly and turned to leave. His arm shot out then, and I let it. I gave him this one last chance to say his peace before I fled the scene of the crime. Instead of words I felt his mouth pressed against mine. Shock caused me to laugh breathlessly against his mouth and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his hands holding me in place behind my head and at my waist. This wasn't happening. "No." I said, pushing him off him me, lifting my eyebrows when I realised I had to use some magic to get it right. Damon's mouth was still a little open, confusion on his face as clear as day. "Just remember Damon, who you really are is not a monster, you're a monster because you felt like you had to hide the best parts of yourself to survive. I get that now." Waving a hand I brought the sound back from the other end of the force field. I faced them all head on.
Pointing to Damon, "That wasn't supposed to happen when I cast the spell on him so..." shrugging I took one last look around the room and something occurred to me, "I wonder if you guys ever thought of what would happen when you no longer had me in your corner. Hm, well, let's find out." I snapped my fingers and disappeared.
Is it weird how happy I'd be if there was just a scene of Bonnie running around the den holding up both of her middle-fingers to everyone else?
Cause the thought alone brings a smile to my face.
Aperio means to 'reveal', 'lay bare', etc.
ooooookay, I'm done now
Stay excellent