She had the kind of voice that made your heart melt, yet she rarely spoke in public. She had this face that would make all of the angels jealous, yet she kept her head down. She had the complexion that even the greatest Neutrogena models would be envious of, yet she never showed too much of it at once. She had the body of one of the Victoria Secret Angels, but still insisted on wearing baggy hoodies and pants. You could tell her that she was the most gorgeous person you've ever seen and she'd just push up her glasses and deny the comment.

She was just that kind of person.

She was my first real love, and I was hers. I've thought of her everyday since I first saw her walking through the loud and crowded hallway. I still can't stop thinking about her. I always wonder where she is today. When we had said good bye, she promised me that she would chase her dream. I know she didn't though. With a voice like hers, she would already be signed to a record label and have a platinum hit.

She was always the sweetest most caring person in the world. She knew things that not even the most prestigious scientists knew. I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I know that not everybody could solve for X as fast as she could.

I miss her terribly. I wish I could stop being a sad panda, but I know that I won't be happy unless she's right here by my side. She told me that it would be okay if I were to date somebody else, but I couldn't. If I dated somebody else, Katy Perry's "Thinking of You" starts to play in my head. She had also told me that we would keep in touch, but I couldn't even do that. It was too painful to know that she wasn't right by my side.

Why did I have to flunk? I really should have tried harder. She told me that I did try, that I tried as hard as I could. It doesn't feel that way though. She had even tutored me everyday after school, yet the material just wouldn't stick. She would even make up stories that were related to what we had been studying that day. It wasn't her fault I didn't pass. I just should've tried harder. If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be writing this.

I feel like half of my heart is missing, and in some sad way, I hope she feels the same. I know it's mean to wish sorrow upon somebody, let alone somebody you love, but I just hope that she misses me as much as I miss her.

My life practically revolved around her. She was the rock that held me somewhat close to the ground so I wouldn't stray too far off into the clouds, and I was her balloon that made sure she strayed from her spot on the ground. We fit together like two jigsaw puzzles. Without her I feel like a 1500 piece puzzle with on piece missing. I feel unaccomplished.

She had always been that person who supported me even when I felt like the world was against me. Like when I would fail a test or my parents would give me one of those lectures telling me that I should just do something practical with my life. She was always there though. "Imagine this, Britt," She would start off. "You're standing on the stage in one of the biggest auditoriums you've ever seen in your career of being a successful dancer. There's an enormous crowd chanting your name, but it dies down once the music begins. You glide across the stage with such ease and elegance. You're parents are on the balcony smiling with pride and nodding their heads approvingly, knowing they should have trusted you to make it as far as you have."

"Where are you?" I would always ask her.

"I'm watching you from backstage with an adoring smile and a look on my face that says 'I told you so,." She would answer with a large smile and a chaste kiss on the lips.

But that didn't happen. When I did have that exact scenario, she wasn't there back stage with that look. When interviewers ask me what powers all of the emotion in my dancing, I would just give off a sad smile and a shrug. I hope she sometimes searches me on Google or YouTube, just to see how I'm doing. I hope she doesn't read the Tabloids though. No many how many times I tried to deny the rumor of dating Sam Evans, it just keeps resurfacing. I hope she doesn't believe that I'm dating him. She knows that I'm a sucker for brunettes, not blondes.

The public has no idea I'm in love with somebody I haven't seen in years. Sometimes I refer vaguely to being in love. I had done that the other day on David Letterman and when he had asked me who it was I was in love with, I just shrugged and said something to distract from the subject. I was tempted to call her out, just so she'd know I haven't given up on our love. I hope that she hasn't either.

I don't think she'd do that though. She promised she'd watch me with love filled eyes as I climbed to the top, and I told her I'd do the same. I haven't been able to though. I know her parents were supportive of her dreams, and I would always give her the push towards it. The only problem was that she was afraid to fly. She didn't want to go too far from the nest, and she was scared to death of falling. I don't think it helps that she's afraid of heights.

Every Christmas I ask Santa to at least see her again. For her to be happy. For her to still love me, even with all of the rumors circulating the gossip sights. Old friends telling the tabloids that I've 'changed' since being discovered. The truth is though, that I'm still the ditzy blonde she fell for. I still believe in Santa. I still wear that unicorn necklace she gave me for our first Valentine's Day every where I go. Most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough, I still love her. I hope she can believe it.

Every Christmas I'm denied my wish. I hope this Christmas is different though. I hope she shows up at my door, just as amazing as I had always remembered.

I really just miss the little things about her. Like how she was left handed. How incredibly soft her skin was and how gentle her touch was. How great she was with kids. I miss how her eyes scrunched and her dimples showed when she laughed. I miss her laugh too. So, so much. I miss those sarcastic comments and the arch of her right, never her left, eyebrow when she wants me to elaborate on something. I even miss her baggy hoodies. I miss how when she was with somebody she didn't like or doing something she didn't want to do, she would push her glasses further up her nose awkwardly.

I just miss her in general

It's true. Just as true as it was three years ago and just as true as it will be until the day I die (maybe even into the after life).

I, Brittany S. Pierce, am madly in love and hopelessly devoted to Santana M. Lopez.

Ta Da! Okay, I have a question for you. Should I continue this or should I just keep it as a one shot and let you substitute your own reality for what happens next?

~J :3