Barry looked around his new apartment in obvious pleasure, happy with what he'd done. He'd earned this all by himself, while helping his father get out of prison (the right way), and adjusting to his new powers. Not a person in the world could say he didn't deserve this little piece of paradise now. But as the door slammed behind his entering boyfriend, he had to wonder if he was right.
"Where are you, Barry?" Eddie called, sounding aggravated. Barry sighed to himself and stood in the doorway to gain his attention. "You left early, without me. Why?"
"Cisco called me from the lab. The Snarts were breaking into the bank again, and I had to stop them. By the time I finished, it was pretty much time for us to be clocking out anyways, so I came to wait for you here," he replied calmly. Eddie's expression didn't change as he backhanded Barry.
It hadn't always been like this. When Barry and Eddie had first gotten together, Eddie had been the nicest, most caring person that Barry had ever met. It's what made him fall in love. His family loved Eddie, and everything was perfect. And then Barry had become the Flash, and everything changed. Suddenly, nothing Barry did was good enough or right. No matter how fast he went, it was never fast enough for Eddie. All of his decisions were suddenly bad, and he wasn't allowed to think for himself without being punished. Eddie had not said one nice word since Barry had gotten his powers. But every once in a while, Barry would see the man he'd fallen in love with shining behind those eyes. He worked harder to be good enough, and he started believing the things Eddie told him. Slowly, Barry started to fall into depression.
Now, cradling his cheek, he could only hope the mark would fade before they needed him back at the lab. He'd never told anyone what Eddie did. His super-healing kept people from seeing when Eddie got physical, and he always acted normally around other people or in public. Not even Joe or Iris knew what was going on. He hadn't even needed Eddie's warnings; he truly believed that this was something he deserved.
"I don't care if you attempt to save the city on your own time, but don't you dare leave me alone like that again. I had to lie for you, and I'm getting tired of doing that," Eddie was saying. Barry nodded, looking down. He could feel the bruise forming and fading at the same time. "Did you at least pick up food?"
"It's on the table," he said quietly, turning away. Eddie grabbed his arm and spun him around roughly.
"Look at me when we're talking," he snapped. "You're eating with me."
"I'm not hungry," Barry lied, hoping Eddie would just let it go. "I had to eat at the labs to make it home. You know how my body works."
"Don't take that tone with me," Eddie warned, and Barry nodded again. "Go shower or something, then. I don't want to look at you right now."
Barry gratefully hurried away, hiding his tears from the man who claimed to love him. His cheek hurt, and he just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep. Not that he could do that yet. But a shower wasn't a bad idea; at least he could wash away the shame he always felt when he failed Eddie.
Out in the street, Leonard Snart watched the whole interaction with a scowl on his face. It reminded him heavily of how his father used to treat him when he got between him and his sister. He knew how Barry must be feeling, and he knew it wasn't good. With a heavy sigh, Leonard realized he was going to have to help the Flash.
TIMESKIP
"Barry, head down sixth street and take a right. The hold-up is happening at the gas station in the middle. Think you can handle it?"
"I've got this, Cisco, thanks. Order a pizza for when I get back?"
"I'm on it. Let us know who it is, or if you need advice for an easy defeat."
Barry clicked the comms off when he reached the gas station, seeing immediately that it was Cold and his sister. Again. They didn't usually strike more than once or twice a month, so what was going on? He didn't intend to ask. But as he sped inside to stop them, Lisa hit his feet with her gold gun and took off running outside. The gas station was empty except for Barry and Leonard. It looked like the place had been closed down for a long time. How had Cisco not known that?
"Allen, we need to talk," Snart stated calmly, crossing his arms. Barry couldn't even see his gun. Had he brought it?
"I can't imagine there's anything for us to talk about," he snapped in reply, trying to break his feet free. He wasn't having much luck.
"Well, for starters, you're going to need to know how to walk out of here. I figure I'll save that for last. Let's start with last night," Snart shot back, smirking.
"I beat you fair and square. Accept the defeat and move on," Barry glared, still trying to break free. It seemed like the more he struggled, the thicker the gold got. "There isn't even anything here to steal. Unless you're finally going to attempt to kill me, leave it alone."
"There are better things than death, Allen," Snart reminded him. "But that's not it, either. I'm talking about after you got home. That's some boyfriend you've got."
Barry paled, finally stopping his attempts to move. How could Snart have known? He hadn't even told Iris!
"I knew that would strike a nerve. What's he been telling you? That you'll never be good enough? That you shouldn't try to make decisions, because you always make the wrong ones? I think maybe he's talking about himself," Snart stated, watching Barry closely. He could see that he'd gotten it right by the expression on his face. "Don't listen to him."
"Easy for you to say. I bet there's not a person in the world, other than your sister, who sees the good in you," Barry snapped, trying to make the conversation stop.
"You did, once. I'm sure you still do. You're naive like that," Snart replied, lips twitching. "I knew you wouldn't believe me. At least, not this time. Still, I'm not giving up on you. You haven't given up on me."
Snart flicked a vial at him and then was gone. It was some kind of shiny liquid, and Barry was pretty sure it would loosen the gold at his feet. He was right. The comms was going crazy when he switched it back on outside.
Barry?! What happened?"
"It was Snart. We're done now, but... I think I'm going to just go home. I'm tired," Barry told them, trying to sound normal. The things Snart had said were starting to get to him, not that he believed a word of it. How would Snart know anything about him?
"Okay. Do you want me to send a pizza your way? I know you're hungry; I can see your vitals and Caitlin is nagging again."
"Sure. Pepperoni and sausage?" Barry replied, thinking of what Eddie would like. He'd learned long ago that it really didn't matter what he wanted.
"I thought you hated sausage?"
"It's grown on me," he lied, working to keep his heart even. He'd perfected the art of lying to them long ago, too. It worked every time.
"If you're sure. Caitlin wants me to remind you that you're supposed to have dinner with her and Iris tonight. They want you to bring Eddie. I was invited, but it's not like I've got a date. You're still going, right?"
"I... don't know. I'll text later and let you know. I haven't been feeling great lately," he said quietly, already at his door.
"Sure. Get some rest."
Eddie wasn't home yet, which was a blessing. Barry curled up in their bed, trying to think of all the reasons Snart was wrong about is relationship with Eddie. Implying that it wasn't healthy... that was bullshit. But... the doubt was already there, and he was starting to think through everything Eddie did. It did make him wonder, some days. He fell asleep still wondering if he was right or wrong.
TIMESKIP
Snart was sitting outside of the lab when Barry left the next day, waiting for him. They fell into step together, despite Barry's obvious annoyance. "What do you want, Cold?" he demanded.
"I don't believe I'm in costume right now, and neither are you. Call me Leonard, Barry. Or Len, if you'd like," Leonard replied, just as calm as the day before. "Have you thought about what I said?"
"You mean the doubts you tried to put in my head? I don't think you know what it means to be in love, and you have no idea what you're talking about. Eddie isn't abusive. He's a good boyfriend," Barry snapped.
"You think I don't know what I'm talking about?" Len asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I know you don't," Barry nodded, turning to try to lose him. He wasn't successful.
"Did you ever wonder what got me started on crime?" Len asked. Barry glanced over to him, suspicious.
"Your dad," he answered. Len shook his head.
"Not in the way you think. Lisa and I, growing up, we were all we had. My father wasn't there a lot, and when he was, he was always angry. Lisa was usually his target, and I refused to let him touch her. I took the beatings, but I couldn't take all of the words. Lisa and I got into crime because we didn't have a choice. He would have killed us if we hadn't. Lisa only goes on raids if they're with me, now. I stayed in the business because it was an easy way to express the anger that never really went away. In the beginning, before he started on Lisa, I used to believe the things he'd tell me. I'm worthless, stupid, I won't ever be a success. But when he started telling Lisa the same things, I knew he was full of shit. And over the years, I've figured out that he wasn't just lying about her. I'm not worthless or stupid. I'd say I'm a pretty big success. Or I was, before you came along. Still am some days. I think you haven't figured it out for yourself because you don't have a Lisa. So I'm going to help you see it," he explained.
"What if there's nothing to see?" Barry asked quietly.
"He's told you all of those things, right?" Len asked, raising an eyebrow. Barry nodded after a few seconds. "Then there's something to see. And eventually I'll get you to see it."
"I... have to get home. But thanks, Len," Barry said after a few minutes of silence.
"Sure. I'll be in touch," he agreed, turning to go his own way. "And Barry? Tell someone. See how they react."
He was out of hearing range before Barry was even able to think of a reason that was a bad idea. All he could come up with was that Eddie had told him not to. Len had a point; if he told them, then he'd know for sure whether or not the criminal was full of shit. And he'd never known his father was that bad. He hadn't been kidding when he'd said he needed to go home. Eddie had been expecting him ten minutes ago. But suddenly, home was the last place Barry wanted to be. He needed to get away, and he knew exactly where he wanted to be.
TIMESKIP
The door swung open on the second knock, and Felicity grinned at him. "Barry!" she cried, pulling him into a hug. "Ollie didn't tell me you were coming. Come on, come in!" She dragged him inside, calling for Oliver as she locked the door behind them. Barry hadn't expected her to be there, though he'd known that she and Oliver were dating. Apparently, they'd moved in together. He wondered if Thea still lived here, too, and if she approved. He didn't know her well enough to say.
"It wasn't planned. I just needed to get away for a bit," Barry admitted, letting her pull him along to the kitchen.
"Too much on your mind? Cisco was telling me you've been distracted lately," Felicity stated, pulling a carton of ice cream out of the freezer. "He actually told me you might show up here sooner or later. I hadn't told Ollie yet."
"When did you talk to Cisco?" he asked, confused.
"I called yesterday to ask about a different kind of fabric for Ollie's suit. His keeps getting torn, and I'm not great at sewing. The conversation turned to you, as usual. Actually, we were going to make the trip up in the next few weeks. I think he misses the action you've got going. It's... calmer," she told him. He nodded.
"Yeah, it's enough to keep me on my toes, but not unmanageable. At least, not until they break into your personal life," Barry agreed.
"One of them figured out who you are?" Felicity asked, looking concerned.
"He figured it out a long time ago, but I don't know how. He and I have an agreement. He's not going to tell anyone," he assured her. "He's just... trying to mess with my head, I think."
"You can't listen to them, Barry. All villains are the same," she said quietly.
"Not all," Oliver argued from the doorway. "Some of them are only villains when the masks are on. I can think of a few of my own who I've been friends with as Oliver but fought as the Arrow. What's this person doing to you?"
"He's... well, he claims he's trying to help me. He actually told me things about himself that I never would have known. He's never been a bad guy, actually. He does heists, but he won't kill. He's got morals. I've been trying to tell him for a while now that he could be a better hero than a villain, and this might be his attempt at listening to me. I really think he means well," Barry explained.
"You're talking about Snart, aren't you?" Felicity asked, her smile back in place.
"Yeah. How did you know?" Barry replied, confused.
"You've got a specific look," Oliver informed him. "And I happen to agree with you. Snart isn't a bad guy. He just needs to find the right path. And I can't think of a better person to guide him."
"Thanks, I think. The problem is that he's convinced I'm in an abusive relationship, and he's got me questioning it myself," Barry said quietly. Both Oliver and Felicity frowned.
"Eddie has always seemed okay to me," Felicity told him, sounding concerned. "Are there things we haven't seen?"
"He... I'm not supposed to tell people. I never questioned it until a couple of days ago. What we have works, and I honestly didn't see anything wrong with it. He's always been right," he replied, looking down. "But Len- Snart says he's wrong. That what he's doing is wrong."
"What is he doing, Barry?" Oliver asked gently, gesturing to the table. They sat, and Barry told them everything that had happened since he gained his powers. They'd finished off the ice cream and moved on to brownies that Felicity had made the previous day by the time he finished. Both Oliver and Felicity were frowning, obviously angry.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. He's not abusive, and I know that. I just let Snart get to me," Barry said quietly, waiting for one or both of them to hit him. It was the reaction he'd come to expect from being so wrong. He was actually surprised when Felicity pulled him into a hug. He was even more surprised to see that she was crying.
"No, Barry, he's wrong," she protested. "Please don't think that about yourself! You are so much more than he lets you believe."
"I'm going to murder him," Oliver said quietly, letting his face go blank to hide the depth of his anger. He could see that it was affecting Barry in the wrong way.
"No!" Barry said quickly. "I still love him. Maybe... maybe I just need to talk to him. Maybe he doesn't realize what he's doing."
"I think he knows exactly what he's doing," Oliver replied. "But if you want to talk to him before I do, he's your boyfriend. Just, let me teach you some self defense before you leave. Your usual method isn't going to help you if he attacks you, and I'll feel better knowing that you can protect yourself if it comes to it."
"Okay, if that's what you want," Barry agreed. He didn't add that he wouldn't be using any of the moves against Eddie, but he didn't seem to have to say it. They both knew. They also knew that even though Barry had realized something was wrong with the way he was being treated, he still believed he was worthless. There wasn't going to be anything they could do for him.
"I'll make more of these brownies to take back with you, for your friends. And Barry, you should tell them. They can help you, too," Felicity said as they stood to go to Oliver's hideout. Barry nodded, but she wasn't sure if he would or not. She'd have to decide later if she wanted to give Cisco a head's up or not. It wasn't really hers to tell, but... Barry was her friend and he needed her. He needed all of them. Including, apparently, Leonard Snart.
TIMESKIP
Barry got back to the city in the morning, before Eddie would be awake. He still didn't want to go home, because he wasn't ready for the fight that he knew would be coming. Oliver and Felicity had been great, helping him with defensive moves and keeping his mind off of his problems, but he couldn't avoid it forever. He'd ignored all of the phone calls and messages from everyone, and he knew they were worried. He also knew that Cisco and Caitlin were probably just getting to the lab, and that's where he went.
He had barely gotten into the main room before Caitlin was hugging him and Cisco was asking him a million questions. He waited for both of them to get it out of their systems before he spoke.
"I'm sorry, guys. I really didn't mean to disappear like that. I didn't miss anything big, did I?" he asked, wincing at Caitlin's glare.
"Cold and his sister managed to rob three banks yesterday evening. It's like they knew you were going to be out of commission. Where did you go?" she demanded.
"I went to visit Oliver and Felicity. I needed advice from the Arrow, and from friends who aren't always around. But... I need your advice, too," he admitted, sitting and gesturing for them to do the same. He proceeded to tell them everything that he'd told Oliver and Felicity. They had very similar reactions.
"That asshole!" Caitlin exclaimed, slamming her fist down on the table. "I always knew something was wrong with him!"
"She actually did," Cisco agreed grudgingly. "She never said anything to you, but I've heard her and Iris talking about it before they leave for their dates sometimes. I just assumed she was paranoid. You're not going back to him. You can stay with me for now, or Joe. He's not going to hurt you anymore."
"Cisco, as much as I appreciate it, I have to try to make him see what he's doing. I don't think he realizes he's hurting me like this," Barry tried, wincing at the looks both of them gave him.
"He hits you. He knows he's hurting you," Caitlin stated, not unclenching her fists. "I'm calling Iris. You need to decide if you want to press charges, because you know we all want you to. Joe will agree, and you know we'll all help you."
"I'm not... I think you're getting ahead of yourselves! Things were fine until I became the Flash," Barry argued.
"And why do you think things aren't fine now? Because he's jealous? I think he was just waiting for the right time," Cisco said gently. "People who are abusive usually had someone abusing them. If he didn't realize he was doing it- and that's a big if- it's because he thinks it's the normal thing to do."
"Are you suddenly a therapist?" Caitlin asked, slightly amused. She put her cellphone down calmly. "Iris is on her way."
"No, I just know a thing or two about abuse. I did research when I was trying to get away from my family. What they did wasn't classified as abuse, but this is. He needs to be stopped."
"That's what I've been saying," Len said from the doorway, smirking when they turned to stare at him. He'd brought Lisa with him, and she was glaring at them all as if daring them to attack. She couldn't quite manage a glare at Cisco, and he couldn't quite manage to look angry at their intrusion. Barry knew something was going on there!
"Snarts. What do you want?" Cisco demanded, not as harsh as he would normally have been.
"To help," Lisa told him. "When Lenny told me what was going on, I couldn't let him sit back and do nothing. Talking isn't enough. He needs a taste of his own medicine."
"Let me tell you all the reasons that's a bad idea. But, maybe over here. Let's let the boys talk," Caitlin told her, grabbing Cisco's arm and dragging him along. Both of them ignored his protests that he is, in fact, a boy.
"So, you took my advice," Len stated. He wasn't smirking anymore, but he didn't look happy. Barry nodded.
"I needed to get away, and I couldn't really show up at my friend's place without a reason. It was easy to talk once I got started. And... maybe you were right," Barry admitted.
"I'm always right," Len said, smirking again. "But I'm not exactly happy to be right, this time. I'm sorry this is happening, Allen."
"Hey, if I'm supposed to call you 'Len', you have to call me Barry. It's only fair," Barry protested, earning a genuine smile. He'd be lying if he said that didn't do something to him. He chose to ignore it, focusing on the fact that everybody wanted him to take serious precautions against Eddie. Even though he'd realized it was wrong, he still didn't understand why everyone was so upset. It wasn't that bad. It wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Right?
"Look, I'm going to go home tonight and talk to him. He'll listen. The Eddie I fell in love with is still in there somewhere. He has to be," Barry said calmly. He knew they were all listening, but Len was the one who replied.
"If that's what you want to do. But you should wear the comms I know your tech boy made for your suit. That way you can call for help easily and undetected. Just in case," he told him.
"You think he's going to try to kill me or something, but you don't know Eddie at all," Barry protested, crossing his arms over his chest. He knew it looked like he was annoyed, but he felt like he was about to fall apart. Len seemed to know that, and it was infuriating.
"I don't think you know him, either. Remember, I know a little something about all of this," he reminded him. Barry nodded once in acknowledgement. "You're not going to listen to a word I say, are you?"
"Not at the moment. But for some reason, the things you say have a way of creeping back later," Barry grumbled. It got him another smile. "Now, is anything actually happening today, or can I go to work?"
"Go to work, but stay with people until you can come back for your comms," Cisco confirmed, barely finishing before Barry was gone.
"Iris is going to be pissed," Caitlin said quietly. "She actually like Eddie, and she thinks of Barry as a brother. If one of us doesn't kill him, I think she actually might. You should call Felicity, Cisco, and see what they told him to do. Make sure they're not doing anything drastic. And if you two are staying, you're staying within eye range of either myself of Cisco."
"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure Cisco can entertain me while you and Lenny talk," Lisa purred, curling herself impossibly close to Cisco. He seemed to flustered to protest, so Caitlin let them go. She turned to 'Lenny' instead.
"What do I call you, since we seem to be working together?" she asked him.
"Leonard, or Snart if you prefer," he told her, smirking again. "I take it I should call you Dr. Snow?"
"You can call me Caitlin, as long as you stay civil and don't touch anything. I don't trust you, and I doubt you care much for me. The one thing we have in common is Barry. And I can assure you that if you hurt him, I'm tougher than I look," she replied.
"I'm impressed. I thought the two of you were boring here at your lab. Guess I was wrong," Len stated, amused.
"You usually are," she snapped, turning back to the test she'd been about to run before Barry had dropped his bomb.
"Allen is lucky to have the two of you, and he knows it. It's why he told you," Len continued. "All I've done is say things he already knew but didn't want to think about. You two are actually going to take action against it. It's impressive. He's your Lisa. I never considered that when I was... observing."
"Spying," Caitlin corrected. "And I don't understand half of what you just said, but of course we're going to do something. Barry is my best friend, other than Cisco. I'm not going to let some asshole torture him into thinking he's nothing. And nobody lays a hand on him. Eddie Thawne is just as bad as some of the metahumans and criminals we've got locked up downstairs. He's worse than you, and you've been the Flash's enemy since day one. For some reason, Barry has decided it's too hard to fight him. I don't agree."
"And this is why he's lucky to have you. Normal people don't get involved. They pretend they don't know a thing, even if they're directly told, because if they know then they have to act or be considered just as bad. You are just as much of a hero as the Flash," Len told her, meaning it. She studied him suspiciously before deciding he actually was complimenting her.
"Nothing I do here is as good as what he does out there. But impacting even one life makes mine worth it," she replied. "If it's his, then that's even better."
TIMESKIP
Eddie kept trying to corner him at work, but Barry was faster. He didn't stay in his upstairs lab area for more than a few minutes at a time, and performed menial tasks for the other officers while he waited for the day to be done. The captain even let him leave fifteen minutes early, because it was a slow day. He sped back to the lab before Eddie had a chance to realize what was happening, and he almost wished he didn't when he saw who all was waiting for him there. Caitlin wasn't kidding about Iris coming. Cisco had called Felicity, only to discover that she and Oliver were already on a train to come make sure everything went well. They were all waiting with Len and Lisa, to see Barry before he went home.
"Barry Allen, how could you hide this from us?" Iris demanded, crossing her arms. Her heart almost broke at the look Barry gave her before he looked down to avoid the others. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't believe it. You always seemed so happy with him. I hate him for hurting you."
"He didn't mean to," Barry said quietly, but everyone heard him.
"You keep saying that, but I think you're going to be really upset when you find out that he knew what he was doing the whole time. I don't think tonight is going to go the way you expect," Oliver said gently. "And we're all going to be here waiting for when you finish. We're all here for you."
"Ollie is right. We came out here to support you, and your friends are here still to make sure you're okay," Felicity added. Cisco and Caitlin nodded. Iris pulled him into a hug and didn't let go for a few minutes, giving him a chance to cry without everyone seeing. He recovered quickly.
"Thanks, guys. But I think you're the ones who are wrong," Barry started. He had to hold up a hand to stop them from arguing. "I've known Eddie for years, and I've loved him for almost as long. This is a recent thing, and I don't think he really means it. I'm going to find out tonight. I don't think the comms will be necessary, but I'll wear them to make you happy."
"Leave them on," Len said quietly. "Let us hear what happens for ourselves."
"Don't you think it's kind of private?" Barry asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I think you won't call for help whether you need it or not, and you're not a good judge of that anyways. Let us step in if you need us," Len replied calmly.
"He's right," Caitlin cut in, giving Cisco a look when he made a surprised noise. "He's been right from the beginning. Leave the comms on, Barry, or we'll turn them on remotely anyways. And if you take them out, or break them, you know we'll all be there within ten minutes. You're not alone in this. Don't try to be."
"Please, Barry," Felicity said quietly, tears in her eyes. "We want to help, even if it's just being here. We need to know that you're okay."
"Fine. I'll leave them on. But I don't think this is necessary," he grumbled, putting the little device in his ear. Oliver handed him a little pin for his collar.
"It's a microphone. In case he catches the comms, he won't know to look for this. It's a little extra security," he explained. Barry nodded and pinned it on, frowning the whole time. "I know you think this is stupid, but we don't."
"I trust all of you, and I appreciate what you're trying to do. I'm not going to argue anymore. I just wish this wasn't happening. I don't know that I ever should have said anything," Barry replied.
"We're glad that you did," Caitlin assured him, actually stepping on Cisco's foot to shut him up before he could start talking. He had the bad habit of putting his foot in his mouth.
"Well, I'll see you guys in a few hours," Barry said, taking a deep breath. "I'll come back here after we've talked, so you can see that I'm fine. And then maybe this will all go away."
"This isn't going away. But for the record, we hope you're right. Even if we know you're not," Len told him. Lisa nodded, resting her head on Cisco's shoulder.
"I've never seen Len so angry. At least... not for a long time," she shared. "He came home shouting about some cop hurting you, and making plans for a murder. I had to talk him down, which I think you owe me for. He takes this personally, and I think you know why."
"I do. And like I said, I appreciate the concern. You'll see that it's not necessary," Barry told her. And then he was gone. The speakers in the lab were crackling with the static of his running, and everyone stayed silent to listen to the fight that they knew was coming. Nobody noticed Len making his way out of the side door. Nobody but Caitlin, and she chose to keep her mouth shut and see how it played out.
TIMESKIP
Eddie was waiting for him at home, sitting on the couch and staring at the TV that wasn't actually turned on. He spoke without turning around. "Where have you been?"
"I went to see Oliver and Felicity last night. I'd been meaning to visit them for a few weeks now, and I finally had enough time to do it. Look, we need to talk," Barry replied. Eddie still hadn't turned around.
"So you decided to leave without saying a word? You know better than that," he snapped, sounding angry. Barry flinched slightly, but took a deep breath to continue. He didn't get to. "Did you bring dinner home? I already know that you didn't. You didn't bother coming home last night, you avoided me all day at work, and now you're not even getting food anymore. Get your ass over here."
"Eddie," Barry protested, knowing that all of his friends were listening. That Len was listening, and somehow that was worse. And when did that happen? Not the time, Barry, he thought to himself.
"Get. Over. Here," Eddie demanded, finally turning to glare at his boyfriend. "You know what's coming. You deserve every second of it. So come and take it like a man."
"No," Barry said, shaking slightly. "Eddie, listen to yourself. You were never like this before. What happened?"
"You happened! You started making stupid choices, stopped listening to me, and look where it landed you! It turned you into a freak!" Eddie shouted, standing up. "I've tried to fix you, but there's no fixing what you did. You're scum now, Barry. Worthless, ugly, disgusting scum. How does that feel?"
"Eddie... no," Barry whispered, tears in his eyes. "You're the only one who thinks that. And I don't believe you really think it, either."
"The others all agree, even if they won't say it to your face. Why do you think they make you wear a mask? None of them can stand to look at you anymore. I'm the only one who still loves you, and believe me, it isn't easy," Eddie told him, scowling. "You just make it harder when you do stupid shit like this."
"What's wrong with you?" Barry demanded, standing straighter. He knew that Eddie was wrong, about his friends if nothing else. Why else would Oliver and Felicity made the trip here? Why would Len and Lisa have gone to the people who wanted to lock them up if they hated him?
"Me? What's wrong with you, Barry? I don't even recognize you anymore," Eddie snapped, shoving him backwards until Barry's back hit the wall. When had he gotten that close? "I'll fix that." He raised his fist, ready to start the beating, and Barry closed his eyes to avoid seeing it all happen as well as feel it. The hit never came. There was a loud crashing sound, and the sound of glass breaking, and then there was a hand on his arm pulling him backwards, out of the apartment.
When he opened his eyes outside, he was looking straight up into Len's face. He'd blame shock later, for the hug that he pulled Len into. To his credit, Len hugged him back just as tightly.
"Why didn't you try to fight back?" Len demanded.
"I... was hoping that he'd stop himself. I want to see the good in him," Barry whispered, not breaking the hug. He didn't think he could let go yet and keep himself sane. Len was his anchor, keeping him here and calm.
"Barry, he's not a good person. There is no good in him. You pick the strangest people to see good in," Len told him.
"If you mean you, I don't think it's strange at all. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't good inside of you. You never would have said anything, or showed up today at all, if you weren't a good person, Len. I think you know that, deep down," Barry replied.
"If you think this is going to stop me from stealing, you're wrong," Len grumbled, but Barry smiled.
"It's just a matter of time. But honestly, if stealing is the worst you ever do, I think the Flash can handle that. You're the one who said we're different out of costume. Maybe Len and Barry can be friends, even if Cold and Flash aren't," he said, still smiling. And then he passed out.
TIMESKIP
When he woke up, he was back at the lab. At first glance, his room was empty, but he could hear someone else breathing just out of his sight. Whoever it was pushed him back down when he tried to sit up.
"You're going to be dizzy if you try moving too quickly," Caitlin told him, grabbing his arm to check his pulse. "You're in shock, or you were. Your vitals are back to normal. I gave you a mild sedative when Snart brought you in, and everybody has been waiting in the main room for you to wake up. We've got food, if you think you can eat. And Cisco has volunteered his house for as long as you need it."
"Thanks, but... I'll be going home," Barry told her, letting her help him sit up. The look of disapproval he got was almost enough to make him lay back down. "The apartment is in my name, Caitlin. He won't be staying there, but I will be. I worked hard for it."
"Then you're going to let Oliver and Snart get him out of there. We're not letting you get anywhere near him again. Actually, he's not going to be able to come near you for a few days at least. He's in the hospital," Caitlin informed him, taking a vial of blood.
"Why?" Barry asked, confused. He'd only heard Len hit him twice, which was not enough to cause much damage. He'd have been lucky if Eddie had even been unconscious.
"Your comms and that pin were broadcasting the whole time. We all heard every word- some of which we'll be discussing later- and it made us all very angry. Oliver doesn't handle anger well," she replied.
"He's not dead, is he? No matter what he did, he doesn't deserve to die," Barry asked, worried.
"He's not dead. He's got a concussion, a few broken ribs, a broken wrist, and no job. Eddie tried to call the cops on Oliver, but there was a surprise witness from all of the times he'd done the same thing to you. Joe was one of the officers who responded, and there's a guard at Eddie's room to arrest him as soon as he's in good condition again. The captain said he's just waiting for your statement," she informed him.
"How did you know he'd done any of that to me?" Barry asked quietly.
"I'm a doctor, even if I'm not necessarily medically licensed. We have x-ray machines here, and MRI machines. It wasn't hard to get a medical history that was fairly accurate. And since I'd done one of those while you were in a coma to get your powers, it wasn't hard to compare and find out what he's done. It's a lot, Barry. He put you through a lot of pain," she replied.
"It healed. All of it healed, and the pain never lasted. I never told you because I didn't think it was a big deal. And everything was fine every time I came here, because there was nothing to hide anymore. I... thought I deserved it. I still think I deserved some of it," he admitted.
"Barry Allen, you listen to me. Nothing that he said to you is true. If you believed a word of that, I might go break something of his myself. You are not a freak. You're not stupid, worthless, or disgusting, and you never have been. Eddie is. And he was so wrong. Your powers make you special, in a good way. Someday we'll get you to see that. Until then, you'll just have to take our word for it. Do you feel ready to see the others?" she asked. He nodded.
"I'm sorry, Caitlin," he said quietly.
"Sorry for what?" she asked, helping him stand up and making sure he could do it without falling.
"For not listening, and not telling you sooner. I should have known I needed help, that he was wrong," Barry admitted.
"We listen to the ones we love, whether we think they're right or not. And if they say it enough, we start to believe. But I think you and I both know that you haven't loved Eddie for a while. I think you moved on to someone else and just never admitted it to yourself. I want you to take time to be yourself and adjust, but then you should act on your feelings. Because they're returned, Barry, and you could be so happy," she told him.
"I... thanks. I'll try to take that advice," he said quietly.
"I appreciate that. And I'm always here if you want to talk, even if I haven't gone through it myself," she told him. He nodded, letting her lead the way to the main room.
As she'd said, everyone was sitting in silence, waiting. Cisco saw him first, and he jumped to his feet to check him for himself. When he was satisfied, he hugged Barry tightly. It was the first time he'd done it in front of people, and Barry hugged back in surprise. He met Oliver's eyes over Cisco's shoulder and gave him a small nod in thanks. Oliver nodded back with a small, tight smile.
"I'm fine, guys. Perfectly healthy," Barry assured them all. As soon as Cisco released him, Felicity was there. Iris was directly after her, and Barry thought that Lisa might have hugged him as well if Len hadn't given her a look.
"Are you sure?" Felicity asked, wringing her hands. "We were so worried, and none of us could help you but Caitlin!"
"We couldn't send you to the hospital because of the Flash, but also... you didn't need to be close to that asshole," Iris told him. "I don't think he'll be in town for much longer. Dad is pissed."
"Don't run him out of town. He's... not a good guy, but he's not a criminal," Barry said quietly. "I'll survive living in the same city as him, you know. All of you have ex's here, even Oliver." Felicity gave Oliver a look but stayed silent, because she knew Barry would call her out for her own ex.
"Yeah, but the rest of us might not react kindly if we see him around," Cisco stated.
"Might?" Len asked, lips twitching. "I think that's a definite. He's on the hit list of most of the criminals in the city now, thanks to Mick. When I told him where I was and a vague description of what was going on, he spread the word about our newest enemy. I may have exaggerated details."
"And by may have, he means that he did. Very much. As in I can't be seen for a few days because I supposedly have black eyes and injuries," Lisa snorted. She glanced over at Cisco. "Don't know where I'll go, since Rory's been staying with us."
"My place is... oh, wait," Cisco started, then remembered he'd offered it to Barry.
"Stay with Cisco. I'm going back to my own place. My name is on the lease, and I'm not letting him back in," Barry told them.
"You're also not staying alone. Do you want us to stay around for a while, make sure he stays away?" Oliver offered. Felicity was nodding, already pulling out her phone to make arrangements.
"No, it's okay. I was going to see if Len wanted to stay with me for a few days," Barry told them, then looked over at Len to see his reaction. He was nodding with a small smile.
"I can, sure. I'll just let Mick know that I'll be out," he agreed. Caitlin was grinning across the room, and gave Barry a thumbs up when nobody but Iris was paying attention.
"Speaking of home, I promised Dad I'd stop by and see him before I go to ours," Iris told Caitlin. "If we're good here, and it looks like we are, I'm going to head out."
"I'll meet you there in a few hours. I have things to finish here, and I'm locking up tonight. Barry is good to go whenever," she replied. She gave Iris a quick kiss before turning back to her tests on Barry's blood.
"Call me as soon as you wake up tomorrow," Iris told him, pulling him into another hug. And then she was gone.
"Actually, Oliver and I have to go catch the train if we're not staying. And we can stay, if you want. It's not a problem at all," Felicity said. Barry hugged her and patted Oliver's arm.
"Thank you guys for coming out here. You didn't have to. I'm fine now, but I'll call you, too. And I'll be by to visit more now that I don't have someone controlling my actions," he assured her.
"We'll come visit more often, too," Oliver told him. After Felicity had hugged Cisco and Caitlin, they were gone, too.
"We should go," Len said quietly. "You look exhausted and I know the others want to get going, too. Are you sure you want me around?"
"I'm sure. I feel safe with you," Barry replied.
"We'll be discussing that later," Len told him, looking amused. "As I'm a criminal and all. But, as we've both said, I suppose that's different out of costume. Does that give us personality disorders?"
"Yes," Caitlin called from her station.
"Gee, thanks," Barry said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at her when she turned to smile at him.
"Hey, I didn't say it was a bad thing. Cisco technically has one, too, with his Vibe gift," she reminded them. "I must have some kind of disorder for spending so much time with all of you, too."
"You're the most sane out of all of us," Barry told her.
"I resent that," Cisco muttered. Lisa kissed his cheek, and he blushed. Barry was pretty sure he'd been rendered mute for the time being.
"We'll be back tomorrow," Barry assured them. "I just want to sleep in my own bed."
"Go. I'll have results tomorrow, and we can all discuss what comes next," Caitlin told him, smiling. "And don't forget what I said."
"Don't think I could," he assured her, smiling back.
The walk back to his apartment was the longest in his life. He was tired, he hadn't been lying. But he also wanted time alone with Len, to discuss what had happened and what would come next for them. He waited to break the silence until the door was locked behind them and he'd gotten them both a drink. It wouldn't affect him, but he still liked the taste.
"So... I'm sorry that I passed out on you," he started.
"Don't worry about it. I would have been surprised if you hadn't. Someone that you've trusted for a good portion of your life has hurt you, repeatedly. I understand that better than most of your friends," Len assured him.
"Still, it's not what you signed up for," Barry tried.
"Stop apologizing. I don't regret getting involved. Cold will always be a part of my life as much as Flash will be part of yours. But I'm not opposed to being friends as Len and Barry," he replied calmly.
"And what if that leads to more?" Barry asked quietly, biting his lip. Len was quiet for a few seconds, thinking.
"If it leads to more, then we decide from there. For now, I think you should focus on healing and learning to trust and love again," he finally replied. Barry nodded.
"And if I already have adjusted?" he asked.
"Have you?" Len asked, looking over at him. Instead of answering out loud, Barry leaned over and kissed him. It wasn't a heavy kiss, and there was no passion involved, but Barry thought that it was perfect. Len gave him a second or two to change his mind before kissing back, but when they finally broke the kiss they were curled together on the couch. "I guess maybe you have."
"I don't want to move fast, or anything like that, but... I think the feelings have been developing for a while and I can finally act on them. I don't want to miss my chance," Barry said quietly.
"I'm not going anywhere. Take as long as you need, and I'll be right here when you're ready. I figured that was obvious after the other day. I never do things unless they benefit me," Len told him, teasing.
"Oh, of course. It couldn't have been that you wanted to help me to be nice. You saw this as the end result," Barry replied, grinning.
"Of course," Len agreed.
"I don't believe you," Barry informed him, kissing him again lightly.
"And people say you aren't smart," Len stated, smirking.
"Oh shut up," Barry said, rolling his eyes in amusement.
"Make me," Len told him, looking him in the eye. And how could Barry refuse that?
