REALITY

Chapter 1: This is my Story.

I...lost all my documents for my old stories and practically gave up writing - not that it's goot to start with and I'm trying to start anew. Well, this story is strongly based on one of my best friend's current situation - Lee. This is her story.

Credits to rainbow. room for being my beta reader for the story.

I should have known that the life I'm in is forbidden, I thought I was ready for this– ready to be in a relationship with him, ready to be with him. I was just so ready to give up my status, my family and my friends for this one man. Now when I think about it once more, I realise that I was so naïve, I was just a child.

It was glorious while it lasted. There's a saying that goes: anything forbidden gives the best feeling if not guilt. But since we've eloped, escaping from the troubles of reality, everything suddenly came crashing down. He doesn't give as much as a glance in my direction, he is no longer the sweet man I once knew, and he is no longer the man that made me happy every time he came home.

"Natsume speaking," the voice said from the other end of the line.

"I miss you, Natsume," I whispered into the phone. I sounded pathetic. I wanted to haul myself off the balcony in shame. He was tired of me – I knew! But I couldn't find the will to let him go. It's just too difficult. Clinging on the the last hope, I asked, "When will you be home?"

He ignored my first statement, as usual. It's always avoidance. "I'll be late today, Mikan. There's just…too much work in the office and, you understand me, right? I need to work – for money, for the child."

The child, the child. The child.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to pull my hair off. Ever since I told him I was pregnant, he had distanced himself away from me, almost as if he didn't want this child born. I wanted to cry, my throat was protesting as I swallowed my sobs. Instead of brawling, I simply said. "Oh…alright then. I miss-"

The line was cut.

I held back my tears, my throat burned, I wanted comfort…and he had just hung up. He gave up.

Click. My eyes shot open as I heard the door and saw Natsume looking flustered. And drunk. My first instinct was to rush to him and ask him what was happened.

"What happened? You're asking me, what happened? You! You happened, that's why!" His eyes bored into mine. I was afraid. What made him react this way? Angry he said, "If it wasn't for you and this…thing in you, I wouldn't have to work so hard to keep my job. I would still be out there, hooking up with pretty young girls every night, having my dad to give me an allowance and definitely, definitely not being a father at the age of 22!"

I was taken aback. Somehow, I was afraid. I was used to his nonchalant attitude, but the fire–the anger he was unleashing, it hurt me beyond words.

"You...you got me pregnant, Natsume," my lips quivered as I said those words slowly. "H-How is this my fault?"

"You seduced me, Mikan. Or are you trying not to remember?" he sneered. "The engagement night between my brother and yours. You came into my room that night in that drunken state of yours – getting my pity, taking advantage of my hormones and making me have sex with you. Are you trying to forget, Mikan?"

I didn't want to remember the sin I committed – but we loved each other, didn't we? I thought back to myself, maybe I was wrong once again. Maybe I did seduce him even if I don't have a memory of that happening. I tried to speak, "What happened to you? You're usually so calm–"

"Don't change the damn subject!" he said, finality in his tone.

"Then why did we elope? If you didn't love me, why did we have to run away?" I cried out, hands raking through my hair. "What did I do to get you in this state? If I'm at wrong here, you're not exactly innocent either!"

This was always it, arguments every night when he got back from work. He neighbours peered out from their windows, listening and watching but always too afraid to intervene.

"To avoid my father's wrath," he spat. "To avoid my brother's broken heart – you cheated on my brother, no matter how innocent you try to seem.
"I pitied you, Mikan. I maybe had a small crush on you before, but I never loved you – I never fell into that pit of a hole called love, especially not for you. Only fairy tales have that, and we are not in one. This is reality, Mikan. Not everyone's life has a happy ending, obviously yours and mine don't."

He grabbed my shoulders so that I would look straight into his eyes when he said, "I have never loved you."

He said that last phrase with disdain and realisation finally struck me. We always fought, but he had never once said that his love was all a lie. I stayed silent, trying to absorb the cold atmosphere.

"Are you trying to say, that you wouldn't want to admit that my child is also yours? That you won't be his father when he comes?" I was almost afraid to ask.

The silence was almost welcome, no one spoke. Tears trickled down my face as I sobbed quietly. He was breathing hard, trying to regain his composure. For what seemed like hours we stayed that way, staring into each other but not really looking. Finally I said,

"I see."