AN: Hello again! ; My computer crashed, so this whole thing was gone. Forever. And Fish-chan never emailed it to me, so I just started over. This will be posted in chapters so if I lose one I'll have the rest and they'll be posted and everything. Points to whoever can guess what the cast formatting is copied from! I don't own ANYTHING, not Inuyasha, not the Little Mermaid, or the various things I stole from, like Finding Nemo, Pirates of the Caribbean, Monty Python and the Holy Grail,
Flame Retardent- Comments and discussions welcome. Corrections expected and are encouraged. All flames will turn on tiny sprinklers in your computer and flood your hard drive.
CAST
Narrator (an expert)...Kagura
Eric (a prince)...Miroku
Grimsby (a handyman)...Hachi
Announcer (a servant)...Shippou
King Triton (a king)...Kagome's Grandfather
Horatio Thelonious Ignatius Crustaceous Sebastian (a servant)...Inuyasha
Aquata (a daughter)...Mistress Centipede
Andrina (a daughter)...Kagome
Arista (a daughter)...Koharu
Atina (a daughter)...Kanna
Adella (a daughter)...Yura of the Hair
Allana (a daughter)...Jaken (he won't be in seashell bras or anything, fear not.)
Ariel (a heroine)...Sango
Flounder (a friend)...Kirara
Shark (an enemy)...Bruce from 'Finding Nemo'
Scuttle (a seagull)...Sesshoumaru
Ursula/Vanessa (a sea witch)...Naraku
Jetsam (a servant)...Jakosu
Flotsam (a servant)...Bankotsu
Louis (a cook)...Kikyo
Priest (a priest)...Kaede
>
Kagura: It's such a pretty boat. Er, ship.
Random Sailor: Hey, that's Captain Jack's line!
Kagura: -beheads him with a gust of wind- Anyone ELSE think that's Captain Jack's line? -silence- Good.
Miroku: Isn't this great? The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face . . . a perfect day to be at sea!
Hachi: -leaning over the side, hurling- Oh yes...delightful...
Random Sailor: A fine strong wind and a following sea. King Triton must be in a friendly-type mood.
Miroku: King Triton? Who's THAT?
Sailor: Why, ruler of the merpeople, lad. Thought every good sailor knew about him.
Miroku: -gets in his face- YOU CALLING ME A BAD SAILOR? I'M THE PRINCE! I'LL SHOW YOU A BAD SAILOR!
Kagura: Miroku. Chill.
Hachi: Pay no attention to them Eric. Mermaids...honestly.
>
Kagura: And now we're in a stadium. Filled with, um, fish.
Shippou: Why is this weird ruffley thing around my neck?? And why is my voice all high and squeaky?? I don't like this part.
Kagura: ...-shoves script in his face and points to his line
Shippou: Ahem. His royal highness, KING TRITON!
Kagome's Grandfather hereafter known as K.G.: -enters-
Audience: -wild applause and cheering-
Shippou: -starts laughing hysterically- WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAAAAAT??
Inuyasha: ...just shut up and announce me.
Shippou: And the distinguishing court composer, Horatio Thelonious Ignatius Crustaceous Sebastian!
Inuyasha: -enters-
Audience: -few scattered claps and a cough-
Inuyasha: How come the old guy got a whole ton of applause and I didn't????
K.G.: Because I'm king.
Inuyasha: Well I didn't vote for you.
K.G.: You don't vote for kings.
Inuyasha: Well, how did you become king then?
K.G.: Actually, I'm not sure. Either I'm a god, or my dad was a king.
Kagura: ...Can we move ON?
K.G.: I'm looking forward to this performance, Sebastian.
Inuyasha: -in monotone- oh your majesty this will be the finest performance i have ever conducted. It's also the only one I've ever conducted, so it doesn't really count...
K.G.: Sango-Ariel will be especially spectacular.
Miroku: She'll be the greatest!
Inuyasha: ...you're not even supposed to be here. She does have a lovely voice.
Mistress Centipede (tugging at the seashell bra because she think's it's 'restraining'), Kagome, Koharu (both standing there singing), Kanna (standing there looking at her outfit and wondering what the hell she's doing), Yura of the Hair (trying to decide the easiest way to behead everyone), and Jaken (IN HIS NORMAL CLOTHES, standing there not singing):
Ah, we are the daughters of Triton.
Great father who loves us and named us well: Aquata, Andrina, Arista, Atina, Adella, Allana.
And then there is the youngest in her musical debut,
Our seventh little sister, we're presenting her to you,
To sing a song Sebastian wrote, her voice is like a bell,
She's our sister, Ar-i . . . -Ariel isn't there!-
K.G.: -too busy staring at Mistress Centipede, who has removed the bra )
Kagura: EEWWWWWW perverted old guy! -blows the bra back on with her fan-
Random Merperson: I love how everyone just calls him 'the old guy', like he isn't king or anything.
K.G.: -angry, but because Mistress Centipede's bra's back on, not because Ariel is gone- ARIELLLL!!
>
Kagura: And now, coming up on your left, you will see an old sunken ship-
Random Smartass: Cause, you know, we're not UNDERWATER, so a ship that is here has the option to be not sunken...
Kagura: Shut up. By the way, everyone, Kirara can talk for the purposes of this fic. And don't ask me how a firecat survives underwater. She just DOES.
Kirara: Ariel, wait for me.
Sango: Hurry up!
Kirara: You know I can't swim that fast! Because, yanno, I'm a CAT and I hate water, so I never thought it would be sensible to learn how to swim, much less learn in less then an hour AND keep up with you. Especially while you're a mermaid and have fins and such.
Sango: Maybe there's a REASON firecats don't talk. Look at this gross, rotting ship. Isn't it fantastic?
Kirara: Not really. Can we go now?
Sango: Why, CHICKEN?
Kirara: Course not. It just...
Kagura: I love this line.
Kirara: It just looks...damp...in there.
Sango: We're sort of in an ocean. It's a damp place.
Kirara: And I think I might be coming down with something. Yeah. I'm got this, um, cough. -coughs pathetically-
Sango: All right. I'm going inside. You can just stay here and -watch for sharks. -goes into the ship-
Kirara: Sounds good. Wait. SHARKS? -rushes in after her-
Sango: Good. You're such a kitten.
Kirara: I'm not a kitten! This is great-I mean, I really love this. Excitement, adventure, danger lurking around every corn- -sees SKULL, dramatic chord- KYAHHHHHHHH! ARIEL!
Sango: You alright?
Kirara: Actually, my paw kinda hurts, and my ear is throbbing, and I need air, and my tails-
Sango: -sees a fork- Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your entire life?
Kirara: Um, yeah. That's just a fork.
Sango: SHHHH! THEY don't know that.
Kirara: .............who's 'they'?
Sango: Um...Merpeople? Scuttle will know though.
Bruce: -pacing outside the wreck- Fish are friends, not food. Fish are friends, not food. -sees Ariel and Flounder- -evil grin that he did- Fish are fooood.
Kirara: Sango. Sango, do you HEAR THAT? What's that shadow?
Sango: -picks up a pipe. Not like, a plumbing pipe, but, like, a smoking pipe. - I wonder what this one is...Kirara, chill out. Nothing's gonna happen.
Bruce: -looms up behind them, they both freak out, and run-er, swim- about crazily until Bruce swims into a trap set by Sango- Dammit! Why does this always happen to me?
Kirara: HA! Did you see me? You big bully. THBBBB.
Bruce: -on the phone with his agent- You saw them repressing me, right? You saw it, didn't you?
>
YAY! I wanted to post this in chapters so you can enjoy it more and it will be easier to read...so you wont have to read a bazillion page long fic...especially if you're squeezing for time...yeah. Reviews are nice!