What if Barney's Dad, Jerry Whitaker, had never left and had married his Mom? Many years later Ted meets a very different version of Barney.
August 2001
"Hey Whitaker," A voice calls out from across the crowded bar. There's a shriek of laugher and Ted turns to look over his shoulder, and sees a rowdy crowd of people in fancy dress costumes, high five-ing each other and lining up at the bar to order drinks. "Hey, Whitaker, you hear me?" The big guy in the bear costume calls out again. "Barney, are you deaf, man?"
The blonde guy at the other end of the bar looks up, laughs and shouts out something unintelligible and possibly obscene. Once Ted sees him, he can't help but stare. The guy is wearing-
"The best Indiana Jones costume I've everseen!" Marshall finishes his thought and they absently fistbump. "Dude, awesome!"
"Yeah," Lily says with a longing sigh. "Look at him. Look at those pants… I mean, it's okay." She looks away with a guilty smirk and Marshall huffs with jealousy.
"Why do you think they're all dressed up?" Ted asks, rubbernecking back and forth between Marshall and Lily and the group of party-goers.
"Why knows," Marshall says, "But I sure wish it was Halloween right now. I miss fancy dress."
"We should have a costume party!" Lily suggests.
"We totally should have a party!" Marshall nods in enthusiastic agreement, and the three of them drink to the idea. Then, checking his watch, Ted heads to the restroom, noticing a girl who seems to be dressed as – what? That chick from the Disney move 'Aladdin'? She's all pertness and exposed skin and Ted almost walks into the jukebox trying not to stare at her, causing a group of gorgeous women at a nearby table to point and laugh at him.
Flushing, he straightens himself up and is pretty relieved when he gets out of the crowded, smoke-filled bar. "Klutz!" He curses under his breath. A minute later, he's standing at the urinal when he hears the door swing open behind him and notices the guy from earlier, the Indiana Jones guy, walk up to use the facilities next to him.
Ted finishes up and he hears the other guy sigh – just a tiny sound but it's enough to make Ted sneak a look over to check he's okay. That's tricky, because the last thing you ever want to do is make eye contact with another man in a restroom.
But it seems like Ted's been caught because the man looks up.
"You okay, dude?" Ted asks, a little flustered. God damn, that costume is so cool. Close up, he can see that it's simple – leather jacket, fedora, bandolier, shirt – but it really works. He's definitely stealing that idea for Halloween.
The stranger nods, but Ted can see the tightness in his jaw, the furrowed brow. "Yeah, it's been a hell of a day," the stranger says. "My brother just moved out of town and my ex is being a bitch and my Dad's on my case, like 24/7 and…" He laughs. "Wow, I've no idea why I just said all that. Way to dump on a stranger. What's your name, bro?"
"Ted," Ted says, finishing up and washing his hands.
"Let me give you some advice, Ted," the other guy says. "Whatever you do, don't let anybody talk you into buying a duplex in Manhattan when you've only been in your job for three weeks." He shakes his head with a small smile, like that's some kind of in-joke that Ted doesn't get.
Ted shrugs. "Well right now, I rent. Right upstairs in fact." He points upwards, and sees the other guys expression. "And standing in a restroom that totally sounded wrong, like it was an invitation or something," he says, backtracking furiously. "Which it wasn't because I'm not gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay, it's just-"
"Relax," The other guy says, chuckling, obviously intensely amused. "It's all good."
Ted dries his hands and swallows. "Great costume, dude," he comments, as he heads for the restroom door.
"Thanks, Bro," The other guy smiles.
When Ted returns to the bar, Marshall and Lily are talking to another costumed-couple, and Ted suspects they're fishing for ideas for the planned party. He joins them and catches the tail end of the conversation.
"Hey," Marshall nods to Ted. "These guys are great! They all work for this green energy start-up in the south tower over at the WTC. Not only are they awesome," he gestures at the costumes like that's self-evident, "but Ted! They said there might be a way they could get me an internship!" Marshall's practically bouncing at this news.
"That's great, buddy!" Ted nods enthusiastically, looking around for the guy he met in the restroom, the guy who probably thinks he's a total idiot, but hey.
But he doesn't see him in the crowd and, although Marshall gets a phone number to call for the internship, he tells them that he needs to check with his professor first, when his classes start again in the fall. Of course, in September everything changes and Marshall starts work as a paralegal in order to save up enough money to study law at Columbia.
And none of the costumed party-goers are ever seen in MacLaren's again.
In October, Ted meets a girl dressed as a pumpkin at the annual Halloween roof-party and, for a little while, he falls in love.
She tells him that his Indiana Jones costume is the best she's ever seen.