Happy Holidays.
It's been some time since the Joker's escape. Since Barbara slipped into a coma, and since Nightwing and Batman failed. They lost one of their own, and the Clown Prince of Crime is loose once again, this time in league with the Mad Hatter, but they seem to have dropped off of the face of the earth.
That's not important at the moment. What's important is family, friends, and the like. Batman is on hold, for at least one day, to give thanks for the life of his sons and daughters, his friends, his allies, and new life. Together for a moment, the Batman family spends the holiday at Wayne Manor in the quiet.
"Clark's breathing sounds like he's dying," Harley told Dick as he opened her car door. He held out a hand to help her out of the car. "And Wally's tail should be classified as a weapon." As soon as she was out of the way, the two dogs jumped across her seat and burst out onto the driveway.
"He was just excited," Dick shrugged, watching them sprint away across the browned and dry grass.
"Have you ever heard that saying about how dogs reflect their masters?" Harley grinned, holding the tub of potato salad against her widely distended belly. Dick took it from her and carried it in his other hand as she looped her arm around his elbow.
"What, you mean like 101 Dalmatians?" he asked, taking her hand and leading her up the gravel drive towards the vast front steps of Wayne Manor.
"No, like if you're calm and relaxed, they'll be calm and relaxed," Harley suggested. Clark trotted up, stopping by her free hand and nudging it with his nose. Dick rolled his eyes.
"When have I not been calm or relaxed? I'm always relaxed." He pushed the door open and Damian shot past, screaming profanities over his shoulder as Stephanie chased him. "Damian slow down, damn it!" Dick shouted after him. He and Harley had visited Wayne Manor several times in the past months, but Dick knew this would be different. In the past, it had been Damian, maybe Tim, with Bruce and Selina there. They'd sit quietly by the fireplace and talk then. Now, Dick could hear the voices coming down the hall; Jason's laughter as Cassandra told a story, Tim's interjecting mixing with Damian and Stephanie's shouting. He grinned. Clark abandoned Harley's side and chased after Steph and Damian as Wally shot past Dick's legs, nearly knocking him over.
"Master Richard, Miss Harley, wonderful to see you again," Alfred greeted them cheerfully.
"Alfred!" Harley pulled Alfred in for an awkward hug as he tried to position himself to the side of her bulging stomach. "Happy Thanksgiving!"
"Happy Thanksgiving indeed, Miss Harley," Alfred beamed at her, and then at Dick. "Everyone has gathered in the dining room, please," he gestured for them to follow.
"Well, almost everyone," Harley corrected as they walked toward the dining room. There was a crash as Damian ran into something, and Steph's laugh echoed down the stairs. Alfred sighed heavily.
"He shouts at her, but I do believe that he quite enjoys their cat and mouse chase," he muttered. Harley laughed. They stepped into the dining room, and she smiled at everyone.
"Hello everyone!" she called happily.
Harley was greeted with a bombardment of excitement, Selina exclaiming happily and squealing at the sight of her; Tim leapt up from his chair and Jason followed, with Cassandra on his heels. Clark Kent stood at the other end of the table, where Bruce sat at his seat as he talked to Clark and the woman with thick, dark flowing waves and bright blue eyes with her arm looped through Kent's. A girl with a red pixie cut and glasses, the one that Harley recognized as Carrie Kelley, Damian's friend; sat alone tapping her fingers on the table as the small group gathered around Harley.
"How are you feeling?" Cass asked politely, but was cut off.
"You should sit down!"
"She doesn't need to sit down, Selina, damn," Jason muttered.
"When are you due?" Tim asked for the millionth time, as Dick was pushed aside.
"Hey!" he cried angrily, but Selina shooed him away with her hand.
"Shush we all want to talk to the mommy," she giggled. "Can you feel it kick?"
Before Harley could answer, Damian stopped short beside her.
"Hello. You're looking rather… swollen," he said the word with disdain, and Stephanie came to a stop beside him. He cried out as she punched him in the arm.
"Don't be an asshole dude," she snapped, grinning at Harley. "How goes it? Your hair isn't in pigtails. I like it in pigtails," she planted her hands on her hips, and Damian sucker punched her in the stomach before walking away. Steph doubled over, coughing.
"Damian," Bruce said warningly as he stood, glaring at his son. Damian looked like he might protest, but he instead walked over to Carrie and sat down. Carrie waved at Harley, and she waved back.
"Good to see you two again," Bruce said quietly, nodding politely at Harley. In his black turtleneck pulled up at his forearms and tucked into his crisply pleated khakis, he looked very elegant and intimidating. They'd all dressed up for the occasion, in casual formal clothes ranging from dresses to clean jeans and flowy blouses, to button-down shirts rolled up at the sleeves and undone at the collar. "I believe you've already met Clark-" Bruce gestured with one hand to the tall man in a plain suit and glasses, his black hair combed modestly to the side- "Harley, this is his… girlfriend, for lack of a better word. Diana, this is Harley."
"And what an absolute honor it is to meet you, Harley." Diana's voice was strong and heavy, with a hint of an exotic accent. It was not at all high and girly, but still incredibly feminine. She smiled. "In addition to hearing a great deal about you, I have seen you in action. You are a skilled fighter. You have heart."
"Um, thank you," Harley mumbled awkwardly. Jason shoved his way up beside her.
"Hey! Can I feel her kick!?" Tim smacked him on the head.
"You can't just make the baby kick!"
Jason leaned down and talked to Harley's stomach. "Hey little Batbaby. Kick." Harley made a small noise and put a hand on her stomach. Jason stumbled back. "What?! Really?! I made it kick?!"
"No you moron." Harley chuckled a little, taking the empty seat beside Selina. Dick scraped a chair closer to her and draped an arm over her shoulders, laughing a little.
"But seriously can I?" Jason asked, leaning against the back of Harley's chair. His dark hair had gotten long in recent months, and the white streak hung down over his forehead just above his brow. Tim stood idly by, waiting; if Harley let Jason feel the baby kick, he wasn't about to miss out.
"If the baby kicks, I promise you can," Harley assured him, rolling her eyes. Jason fist pumped and grinned, and Harley noticed Damian watching them across the table. He frowned and looked away.
"Everyone back." Selina waved them away. "Sit down before Alfred pops a vein."
Everyone situated themselves around the table, friends mixed with the dysfunctional family. Jason ruffled Damian's hair as he walked past, warranting a growl from the boy; Tim kicked Jason's chair back as he sat down and when he hit the floor, Jason cried out in pain. Carrie grinned, and Damian smirked down at Jason as he flailed.
"Oh God, Bruce it's awful! Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" Jason wailed.
"You can either keep polishing the floor with your shitty leather jacket, Jason, or get up and have a drink," Bruce muttered as he poured a glass of red wine for Selina; she smiled up at him.
"Sit down Master Bruce, I can do that," Alfred snapped, carrying in a massive turkey on a tray. Bruce smiled wanly.
"I'm not so helpless that I can't pour drinks," he replied, filling Jason's glass. Damian looked up at his father, a hint of hope in his face, and Bruce narrowed his eyes. "One. Because it's a holiday."
Damian grinned and held up his wine glass.
Bruce filled the rest of the table's drinks; Dick declining the wine and drinking his water as Alfred poured Harley another glass of water with a cut lemon on the rim.
"Thank you." She smiled up at him. He gave her a quick nod before slapping Bruce's hand away from the food.
"Perhaps if you carved the turkey, Sir," he suggested.
"No that's not my job," Bruce smiled, sitting back down in his chair. "You've been the head of this household for as long as I can remember. It's your honor."
"While that is flattering Master Bruce, we are all guests in your home." He continued setting out the food. "Now if you would cut your turkey."
"It's as much your home as it is mine, and it was yours longer," Bruce pointed out petulantly. Alfred took a second to glare at him.
"Bruce cut the turkey!" Jason whined. Bruce continued to stare at Alfred expectantly.
"I'm not going to. Alfred is the member of this family that has held us together- held me together- since I was a child. Since Dick was a child, Jason, Tim… even Damian has grown with him there. Alfred, as usual, if you don't fix dinner, we won't eat." Lacing his fingers together, Bruce smiled calmly. With a resigned sigh, Alfred picked up the carving knife and set to work. He set generous pieces of meat on everyone's plates starting with Harley.
Dick grabbed Harley's hand and squeezed, kissing her fingers gently before letting go and taking a drink of his water. Once Alfred was finished and seated, it became a free-for-all of reaching across plates and grabbing food as everyone started eating and talking. Bruce sat at the head of the table with Selina to his right, the massive diamond ring on her finger glittering as she picked up her wine glass and took a sip. When she put the glass back down, Bruce took her hand gently. Harley and Dick sat to Selina's right. Across the table, Clark was to Bruce's left, and Diana and Damian were having a conversation about swords while Carrie picked at her food beside him. Jason was to her left, grabbing his fifth biscuit. Alfred swatted his hand, seated at the end of the table.
"Mind the others, Master Jason, be sure that they got enough before you swallow the rest whole," he snapped, but he smiled. Tim was to Alfred's left, between Cassandra and Stephanie, all talking and laughing amongst themselves.
"Let him eat them, Alfred," Tim said. "That means more potato salad for the rest of us." He scooped a giant mound onto his plate.
Steph took a spoonful of potatoes off of his plate and ate them, and then cried out as Dick snuck her corncob off of her plate. Dick laughed as she snatched it back, but he'd already eaten most of it.
"That was mine, you jerk!" Steph pouted, as Damian's hand shot across the table and speared Dick's turkey. It disappeared as fast as he sat back into his chair.
"Hey!" Dick snapped. Damian stared at him innocently, mouth full.
"Everyone is to leave each other's plates alone," Alfred instructed as Harley stole part of Dick's roll and nibbled on it.
"Nope, Al, you know the rules. Free-for-all until Bruce starts shouting," Dick leaned back in his chair as Cass discreetly snuck a sweet potato off of Alfred's plate.
"I think we already beat our time for last year," Jason mumbled, his mouth full of potatoes. "I think the good china was broken before everyone sat down."
"That's because you and Dick were using the plates as frisbees," Tim reminded him.
"HA! Dodgeball was more fun when they were porcelain death discs," Jason commented, and Dick laughed in agreement, tilting his chair back on two legs.
"It was a new record that year, Bruce was pissed even before we sat down. That was fun," he laughed.
"Let's play a new game this year called 'don't piss me off'," Bruce suggested. Harley giggled into her napkin, and Cass rolled her eyes as she fed a scrap of turkey to Wally under the table.
"We can't play that," Damian pointed out. "We'd never win. And it'd be no fun, so what's the point in playing?" he cried out when Carrie snatched a piece of fruit salad off of his plate. Bruce looked like he was about to argue, and Jason seemed ready to add his input, so Harley interrupted.
"Selina, have you and Bruce decided on what you want to do for your ceremony?"
Her face lit at the mention of her wedding, and she smiled happily. "Oh yes. We've been working. Bruce has been helping, but he can't really make heads or tails of the stuff… I've been doing most of the planning. I have a lovely dress picked out, I think I may have an idea about colors and of course we'll have it at Wayne Manor-"
Selina was cut off as Dick suddenly fell backwards tilting back on his chair, hitting the floor with a loud thud. He blinked stupidly up at the table. Titus trotted over and licked his face as Jason flug a spoonful of potatoes and gravy at Damian as everyone was focused on Dick.
"Ow," Dick mumbled, and Damian cried out in outrage, taking up a full ladle of gravy out of the bowl and launching it in Jason's direction. It smacked him square in the face.
"Hey!" Jason yelled, standing up. "I didn't get you nearly that bad!" He picked up the bowl of mashed potatoes.
"Don't you dare," Bruce warned. Jason considered it for a moment then dumped the bowl upside down on Tim's plate. Tim nearly screamed as his sweet potatoes splashed all over his shirt, and he shot to his feet in fury.
"You just couldn't leave it alone, could you!? I didn't even do anything to you!" he cried, flinging his empty corncob at Jason's head. Jason swatted it away, and it hit Dick on the shoulder.
"I'd say I improved your shirt," Jason taunted. "No one wears polo's anymore Short Stack."
"No one wears leather jackets anymore either," Dick snapped in Tim's defense, just as the casserole that he threw hit Jason in the chest. "It's an improvement." Damian was half on the table reaching for the bowl of potato salad as Dick, Tim, and Jason prepared for a shouting match when Selina stood up. She flicked some of the casserole off that had landed on her dress as she glared at each of them in turn. Damian hastily retracted into his seat as Tim and Jason dropped back into their chairs.
"Sorry Selina," they muttered quietly. Dick mumbled his agreement, sitting back in his now righted chair.
"You are four year olds," Harley whispered to Dick, leaning toward him. "No, I take that back, Lilly behaves better than you." She smiled up at him, her blue eyes shining and her face close to his. Dick bit his lip and smiled.
"What's the point in living the dark lives we lead if we can never have any fun?" he said quietly. He reached for Tim's wine glass and took a sip, and then he kissed Harley gently, just so she could taste the rich expensive wine. Harley rolled her eyes but gave him another quick kiss and leaned away before Jason noticed and caused a scene. Alfred had gotten up to get the dessert, and the pies were being passed around. Dick smiled lovingly at her before taking a massive piece of pumpkin pie, and passing it to Harley.
"So, when can we expect an engagement announcement from you?" Selina asked, looking pointedly at Dick. "You haven't been slacking, have you?" Dick looked up defensively from where he was carefully coating his pumpkin pie in whipped topping.
"No! I've asked her twice!" he cried.
"You said the second one didn't count!" Harley blushed. "And it's not fair to put all the pressure on us because Thing One and Two over there can't keep girlfriends."
"Don't take the attention off of you," Jason pointed his fork at her. Tim looked down, blushing a little.
"You just don't want the attention on you because you don't want Bruce to chew your ass again," Harley countered.
"Why would he yell at me!? Dick's the one who's not supposed to propose at all, as far as I can tell, he's too scared of Bruce to try anything again," Jason shot right back.
"Well I'm not the one whose girlfriend moved to the Amazon and who made a band of criminals. As far as I can tell, you're the only one who's killed someone recently Jason. In fact, I'm making a person." Harley laughed at her own terrible joke.
"Okay, one, don't diss the Outlaws, and two, you can't use that to win every argument."
"Unless you know what it's like to carry around a small person, be quiet." Harley grinned.
"Have you two decided on a name yet?" Selina demanded. Dick carefully swallowed his bite of pie.
"We've still been debating, but the front runner right now is Haly Grayson." He smiled a little, putting his fork down on his empty plate. Selina and Steph awed, but Jason threw a roll at Dick.
"Boo! Leave the work at work!"
"Actually," Harley tossed the roll back at Jason, and it bounced off his jacket, "it was my idea." Dick nodded and stuck his tongue out at him.
"Haly Grayson," Tim repeated, nodding his approval. Damian shrugged indifferently.
"I think it sounds sweet," Carrie piped up, smiling.
"Very nice," Diana agreed.
"I was also thinking," Harley glanced nervously at Dick and Bruce, "Martha for her middle name."
Bruce smiled a little and nodded curtly, and Dick breathed a small sigh of relief. He smiled. "I think that would be good," he said.
"Well, Richard Grayson, I think we just named our daughter." Harley beamed. Dick smiled back and squeezed her hand; Alfred had begun to pick up the dishes, and Selina suddenly squealed happily, grabbing Bruce's arm. He blinked in surprise as she shook him a bit.
"Now I want one! Can we have one?" she cried, giggling. Clark laughed at her outburst and the sudden loss of color in Bruce's face. Harley covered her mouth to keep from laughing aloud.
"Then we won't need Damian," Jason declared mischievously.
"It's true," Tim added. "When a baby comes, we have to get rid of one of the others."
"Does this mean I can have him?" Steph grinned at Damian. He recoiled into his chair in disgust.
"Yes," Tim and Jason answered in unison.
"I don't know," Harley mused. "I think he'd get rid of you Jay. You always turn back up like a bad penny."
"Screw you!" he cried defensively. "If any of us is useless we all know it's Tim! At least I help out around Gotham, he's the one who ran away to head his teenage dream team!"
"There's nothing wrong with that," Dick warned.
"Besides, you're never in Gotham anymore either," Tim defended.
"You're all worthless," Damian added.
"Maybe they want to get rid of the Wayne brat from Bruce's previous girlfriend," Tim shot across the table at Damian, his eyes narrowed as he leaned forward a bit.
"Hey! No insulting mothers," Jason warned.
"I'm just saying. Why don't they toss out the old one and try again with a nicer mom?" Tim shrugged.
"Shun the kid from a good family!" Jason put his fingers up in the sign of a cross.
"Oh please, Dick is lost to his girlfriend. If Bruce kicked me out, he'd lose the only intelligent son he has. Who of us has a high school degree?" Dick raised his hand. Tim smirked. "And who is actually going to college this year, with the intention of graduating?" Dick put his hand back down and Tim laughed. "Jay, you barely have a seventh grade education."
"Yet I'm smart enough to know better than to insult Damian's mother," Jason countered. "Sleep with one eye open bro."
"I'm not worried," Tim shrugged, crossing his arms. "I'm done taking shit from that little demon. Next time you come at me, you little pest, I'll break your arm."
"I've fought with a broken arm and still carried out my intentions," Damian snapped.
"Your neck, then," Tim shouted.
"That's enough!" Bruce said warningly, barely raising his voice. Alfred had cleared most of the table, and Dick stood to help him.
"No, Master Dick," Alfred held up a hand. "It's my job and my pleasure. Sit back down. Or if you've no interest in making small talk, I do believe the game should be on by now."