Dangerous Dreams
A/N—As usual, I don't own these characters—DP Bellisario or Universal does, but since they don't take the characters out to play anymore, I bring them out from time to time. I just have to remember to put them back when I'm finished with them.
A/N #2 – Although this story will take situations from my previous writings, it's not intended to be a continuation of any series/story. This story stands, on its own, as a variation of an idea Starclipper01 and Elanquest suggested to me. For purposes of continuity, Caitlin and Hawke are not together romantically as this story begins. - robertwnielsen
Summary – The events of "Together, Forever" were only a dream. How will Hawke react to the feelings these dreams stir within him...and who might get hurt because of it?
"String? You okay?" Dominic Santini queried his young friend, Stringfellow Hawke, as he picked Hawke up to take him to Santini Air. "You look like you didn't sleep a wink last night."
"Truth be told, I didn't...at least, not very well," Hawke replied as he strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair of the helicopter. "I've been having the weirdest series of dreams, lately. About..." He stopped himself before he could finish his sentence, but Dom's expression told Hawke that he knew what (or rather, Dom thought to himself, who) his younger surrogate son had been dreaming about. Oh, crap...I'm gonna regret bringing this up, Hawke said to himself. When will I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut?
"About...a certain redheaded, ex-cop from Texas, by chance?" Dom glanced over at his friend, and Hawke's reaction told him all he needed to know. "What sort of dreams...if you don't mind my asking?"
Actually, yeah. I do mind you asking, Hawke said to himself, but realized now that he'd opened his mouth, Dom wouldn't let it go until he got the whole story, so he continued, "The kind of dreams that revolve around us...being together," Hawke answered honestly. "Even to the point of...getting married, which happened in last night's dream." Hawke didn't need to glance over at Dominic to see the grin on his older friend's face. "Dom. They were dreams, for Pete's sake. You know we aren't together," Hawke said, and Dominic could have sworn he heard a note of disappointment in Hawke's voice. "And, Dom," Hawke said, his voice growing angry, "this conversation does not leave this helicopter. Understand me?"
"Yeah, I understand you. But listen, String, those dreams have to mean something," Dom told his young friend. "Maybe...maybe they're trying to tell you something...ever think of that?" Dominic demanded. "It's obvious to everybody how Caitlin feels about you, String. Michael's said it...Marella's said something to me about it...and you know what I think. Why don't you give it a chance?"
"Dom. I'm not saying 'no,'" Hawke replied, causing his surrogate father to jerk his head around and look at Hawke. "Just saying 'I don't know.' I mean, there's the curse..." Hawke knew what Dom's reaction would be to his latest statement.
"String...don't you think that 'curse' thing is...I don't know...overrated? I mean, we don't know where Saint John is...your parents' and Kelly's deaths were accidents, for crying out loud! Gabrielle, okay...but...I think Moffet would have killed her no matter whether you were involved with her or not. That man was out of his mind, you know. Anybody that tried to oppose him, he was going to eliminate. And, most of all...I'm still here. And, considering I've backed you on Airwolf missions, I think that kinda blows that theory up. Besides, you know how tough Cait is—she survived the Anderson affair, along with the kidnapping by Jenkins...and, there have been others," Dom continued, finally saying, "I just think you need to give it a chance...you know?"
"Dom..." Hawke couldn't bring himself to tell his friend what he really thought, so he simply shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'll think about it, okay?" Besides, a voice said in Hawke's head, haven't you been alone long enough?
By this time, they had arrived at Santini Air, and found Caitlin O'Shannessy already there and the office opened, and ready for business. Unfortunately, the only customer was Marella, Archangel's aide. She proceeded to describe an Airwolf mission that the FIRM needed, immediately. And, because of the difficulty of the mission, they needed three people on the Airwolf crew. Hawke sighed and glanced over to Santini and Caitlin, who nodded affirmatively. "Okay, Marella. We're on our way." Marella smiled, wished them all good luck, and headed to her chopper to head back to the FIRM. Hawke, Dom and Caitlin, meanwhile, boarded a Santini Air chopper and headed to the Lair, after determining that Marella would not be following them.
Once they reached the Lair, Hawke noticed that Airwolf's AI had already mapped out a flight plan to the target—an island fortress occupied by Helmut Krueger, a notorious arms merchant and dealer. Their mission was to infiltrate the compound and either apprehend Krueger, or eliminate him. Hawke decided that he and Caitlin would handle the infiltration, and Dom would stand by ready to pick them up in Airwolf, on Hawke's signal.
As they walked towards the compound, Caitlin found herself debating internally. Why did Hawke choose me to come along? I would have thought I would be the one to stand by in the Lady, and Hawke and Dom would carry out this mission. What is going on with him? Caitlin asked herself as they reached the outer entrance of the compound, and slipped inside. It took a while to orient themselves within the compound, but eventually Hawke and Caitlin found Krueger, sitting in his office with his back to the door. Hawke decided to charge the chair where Krueger sat. Hawke quickly drew his weapon, intending to either force Krueger to surrender, or kill him outright; and Caitlin followed close behind, worried as much about Hawke as she was about her own safety. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a guard pointing a weapon towards Hawke, and screamed, "Hawke! Look out!" Before Hawke could react, Caitlin had jumped towards him and pushed him to the side, just as the gun fired. The bullet missed them both, but Caitlin felt her head impact the back of the desk where Krueger sat, and she passed out.
Ah, hell. Hawke saw Caitlin's motionless form, and reacted violently. He turned to where a guard was advancing on the desk, and fired twice, killing him; then turned his weapon on Krueger and emptied it. "Dom, it's done. Come and get us, now!" Hawke shouted into his throat mic.
"I'm on my way, buddy," Dom replied, lifting Airwolf into the sky and heading towards the compound. Suddenly, he heard Hawke's voice over the radio again. "Dom, get the coordinates to the nearest hospital."
"String? You okay?" Dom was instantly worried.
"I'm fine, Dom...but Cait's out like a light," Hawke replied. "She jumped to move me out-of-the-way before one of Krueger's guards could take a shot at me, and knocked herself out on Krueger's desk. Might be a concussion. Bring the collar so we can immobilize her head."
Dom quickly landed Airwolf in the courtyard and within a few minutes, found Hawke with the unconscious Caitlin. "She's got a pulse, we can move her. But, we've gotta take it easy," Hawke told Dom, and the two of them got the collar around Caitlin's head, immobilizing it, and then carried Caitlin out to Airwolf and got her comfortable, then Hawke took Airwolf towards the nearest hospital, where Caitlin was immediately rushed to see a doctor. Two hours later, the doctor came out of the emergency room and came up to Hawke and Dominic.
"Are you the two who brought Miss O'Shannessy in?" the doctor asked.
"Yes, doctor," Hawke replied as they both stood up. "How's Cait?"
"Well, that's a tough call right now. She's not in any danger, or anything, but as you know, she suffered a serious concussion, and we're not sure what effects it may have had on her. She seems to be all right, but there are usually complications from something like this."
"What kind of complications?" Dom demanded.
"At this point, it's hard to say," the doctor replied honestly. "What I mean is—she's going to be all right, but...she could suffer amnesia, her balance could be affected...she could be blinded temporarily, or it could be permanent...at this point, we just don't know." Just then, the doctor heard a coughing sound coming from Caitlin's room. "Stay here for a moment," he ordered, and rushed into the room.
"Well, Dom? Still think that curse is 'overrated?'" Hawke asked with a scowl.
"String, you heard what the doctor said. We don't know what may have happened, and neither does he. We'll just have to wait and see," Dominic said as the doctor came out, and waved both of them towards Caitlin's room. "She's awake—and she's asking for both of you," the doctor said as Hawke and Dom approached the door.
When they came into the room, Caitlin heard their voices instantly. "Dom? Hawke? Is that you?"
"Yeah, sweetheart," Dom replied, concerned. "String and I are both here. How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine...except that...I can't see. I'm blind," Caitlin whispered, and Hawke could see the terror on her face. "Oh yeah, and my head hurts like hell. What did I hit, anyway?"
"Honey, String said you hit Krueger's desk when you jumped at him, and knocked yourself out. Now, the doctor told us this could happen," Dominic replied. "He also said it's only temporary," he lied. He knew that wasn't exactly what the doctor had said, but he didn't want to worry Caitlin needlessly. No point in telling her she may never see again, Dominic admitted to himself, especially when we don't know.
"Dom, don't sugarcoat things. I'm blind, face it, and we don't know how long it's going to last." She thought she heard Hawke grumbling something, and she said, "Hawke, I don't blame you for this. I was trying to keep you from getting shot when I got hurt," Caitlin said emphatically. "This is not your fault. The only reason this happened is...I leaped before I looked, to save your behind. Do you hear me?"
"Yeah, Cait...I hear you," Hawke replied quietly, knowing that a simple nod would do no good. I just don't buy it, he said to himself. If you don't come out of this, Cait...I'll never forgive myself.
"Caitlin...you're gonna need somebody to help you until you get better," Dom said worriedly. Hawke immediately answered him. "I'll take care of her, Dom. It's the least I can do, considering what happened." He didn't add the thought that was running through his mind—Considering she's in this mess because of me. "I'll...I'll take her up to the cabin, and take care of her there."
He's going to do what? Caitlin thought to herself, terrified. The thought of being alone with Hawke at his cabin had crossed her mind several times recently, but not like this, Caitlin said to herself worriedly. Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder and heard Hawke's voice. "Cait, it's for the best. Like Dom said, you'll need somebody to take care of you until you come out of this. And, you will come out of it," Hawke said determinedly, even though he was only partially sure he believed his own words. At least, I hope you do, Hawke said to himself. There's so much...so much I want to tell you. He resolved that as soon as Caitlin had recovered, he was going to share his dreams with her, and determine where they went from there. And wherever that is, Hawke said to himself, I hope we go there...together.
Caitlin was released from the hospital the next day, with no lingering aftereffects from the accident, aside from the blindness, and, true to his word, Hawke took her up to the cabin.
"Hawke? Why did you decide to bring me here?" Caitlin asked him later that evening. "You could have taken care of me just as well at my apartment, you know. You didn't have to do all this, just for me." She felt increasingly uncomfortable with the level of attention Hawke had been paying to her since the accident. It's not that I mind him paying me all this attention, she mused as he led her to the couch after dinner, it's the circumstances. Why did I have to go blind to feel his arm around me like this, for cryin' out loud?
"Cait. I wanted to do this," Hawke answered her, taking one of her hands in his. "It's going to be all right...you trust me, don't you?" He asked her, even as he fought down a pang of guilt over Caitlin's predicament. You wouldn't even be in this situation if I hadn't been having those damned dreams about you...about us. That's why I'm doing this.
"Hawke. You know I trust you with my life...just like you trust me and Dom with yours; and Dom trusts you and me with his," Caitlin answered him. "It's just...I dunno. Scary, I guess. Being here alone, with you...and not being able to see your face...not able to see that beautiful smile of yours..." Caitlin caught herself a few words too late. Now, you've done it, Caity girl, she chided herself.
"Caitlin, you've got nothing to worry about," Hawke said, stroking the back of her hand, as if her last comment had absolutely no effect on him. "I can either stay on the couch, or take the spare room—you can take the main bedroom, okay?" Hawke knew that wasn't what he wanted to do...but that's for another time, he said to himself, with a smile that he knew Caitlin couldn't see. I never knew she liked my smile that much, he silently added to himself.
"Okay, Hawke," Caitlin answered him, and Hawke thought he detected a note of sadness in her voice. But...what if I don't want you to take the couch, or the spare room? What if I want you next to me? She knew, of course, that Hawke would never take advantage of her in her current situation. He'd never take advantage of me, period, she laughed humorlessly to herself. That's one of the reasons I feel the way I do about him. One of the reasons I...I love him. She was startled by her inclusion of the word "love," but quickly reprimanded herself. Yes, dammit. I love him! I love Stringfellow Hawke. And, I have for a long time, she said to herself as Hawke guided her to the couch and sat next to her.
Unconsciously, Caitlin tightened her grip on Hawke's hand. "Hawke, I'm...I'm scared. What if I never come out of this? What if I never...never see again?" Caitlin knew there were a lot of things she wanted to see before she died, whenever that might happen. I want to see the look on Hawke's face when I tell him how I feel about him. And just before I really kiss him, for the first time. I want to see the look on Mom's face when I tell her that Hawke finally came to his senses about me...and, about us. I want to see his face when...when he asks me to marry him, someday. And to watch him slide the wedding band on my finger...and to see the smile on his face when I put his ring on his finger...And...hopefully...I'll see the face of our first child. Caitlin felt her body shake with her sobs, until she felt Hawke's arms encircling her, comforting her, and heard his voice. "Cait...it's gonna be okay. I'm here...and I'm always going to be here for you," he vowed. "No matter what...I'm always going to be here for you. I promise." Hawke simply held her until he felt the sobs leaving Caitlin's body.
That night, true to his word, Hawke allowed Caitlin to take the main bedroom to sleep, and he moved downstairs, taking up residence on the couch. He tried to relax and fall asleep, but something didn't feel right. And it's not just this couch, either, Hawke grumbled to himself. Knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep until he checked, he threw on a pair of sweat pants he had brought down from the bedroom, and hurried upstairs to check on Caitlin.
When he got to the bedroom, he knew his hunch was right. In the dim light coming from the windows, he could see Caitlin thrashing about on the bed, obviously in the grip of a terrible dream. Then, she screamed out, "Hawke! Look out!" Hawke knew she was reliving the events which led up to her accident. Knowing how dangerous it could be to wake someone up from a nightmare like this, Hawke silently padded over until he stood next to the bed, then sat down across from Caitlin and gently reached out to touch her shoulder. When he did, he felt rather than saw Caitlin turn and grab hold of him around the neck, as she said, "Hawke? Is...is that you?"
Hawke quickly enfolded her in his arms, as he said, "Yeah, Cait. It's me. I'm here. Bad dreams?" He asked, even though he knew the answer.
"Yeah. We were back in Krueger's compound, and I yelled at you to look out, and then..." She couldn't finish her sentence, but Hawke knew what she was thinking. Then, you had the concussion. He held her for a few moments until he felt her sobs ease once again, then slowly let her out of his embrace and allowed her to lay back on the bed. "You okay, Cait?" he asked, worriedly.
"Aside from the obvious...I guess," Caitlin said humorlessly. She heard Hawke's footsteps across the floor and guessed he was almost to the stairs, when she said, "Hawke? Don't...don't leave me."
"Okay, Cait. I'm not going to leave you, but I do need to go downstairs for just a second," Hawke answered before going downstairs to retrieve his pillow. He came back and slid into bed next to Caitlin, allowing her to place her head against his chest, so she could hear the beating of his heart.
"Thanks, Hawke. That's exactly what I need," she said quietly. "You always know...always know exactly how to make me feel better." She smiled as she drifted off to sleep, and Hawke closed his eyes and found himself asleep a few minutes later.
The next morning, Hawke woke up to find Caitlin still curled up against his chest, listening, he assumed, to his heart beating. Not wanting to disturb her, he lay there and considered the situation. I might as well get used to doing this, he said to himself. She's not going to want to sleep alone for a while, especially given these circumstances. Almost as if she had known what he was thinking, Caitlin whispered, "Thank you, Hawke."
"For what, Cait?"
"For staying with me, last night. I just...I just didn't want to be alone, after...well, you know," she stammered. Hawke did know what she meant, and he answered, "Yeah, Cait, I know." As to what they would do that night, Hawke said to himself, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, I suppose.
Hawke felt himself wrestling with emotions that he had thought dead and buried for a long time. Sure, I've dated other women, he said to himself while he was out fishing that day, but these feelings...I haven't felt them since...he stopped himself before his mind could mention Archangel's late pilot, Gabrielle Ademaur, who Hawke had been in a relationship with, until Archangel sent her to Libya after learning that Angela, their operative who had been there, had been killed. And then, of course, Gabrielle was killed...which only reinforced my belief in the curse, Hawke said to himself. And I can't risk losing Cait that way. He had to stop for a moment, and consider the situation. But, Cait didn't die on the Krueger mission...and, she survived the Anderson affair...and Jenkins...and Holly...and the hijacking. Maybe...just maybe...Dom's right. After all, he's still here...and I love him like he was my own father. I'm just so...so afraid. And, Stringfellow Hawke knew that he had never in his life been afraid of anything. Until now. The more he considered the mounting evidence, the clearer his thoughts became.
Finally, Hawke made a decision. He knew what he felt about Caitlin—he loved her. And, not in the way that close friends love each other, either. I've loved Caitlin practically since the day we had to kiss on that movie set, Hawke said to himself. At least, I know that's when the dreams started. And...I think Caitlin feels the same way about me...at least, I hope she does. But, how am I going to know...unless...I tell her how I feel.
As she listened to Hawke's footsteps as he walked out to the dock and got in his boat to fish, Caitlin considered some of the things she had thought about as she went to sleep the previous night. I realized...that I love Hawke, she said to herself. That I've loved him since the day I laid eyes on him. But...I know he's afraid. He's afraid to tell me how he feels about me...because he thinks that I'll die if he does...like Gabrielle did. But I'm not Gabrielle, Hawke! I can take care of myself very well, thank you very much! And from what Dominic told me about this Moffet character, he would have killed Gabrielle whether you were involved or not. And...even though I didn't know Gabrielle, I got the feelin' that she'd want String to be happy again...to find love again. And, all I want is to be the one to give String that love—if he'll let me.
But something else worried Caitlin. I have to admit...I'm afraid, too. I'm afraid...if I tell him how I feel about him...maybe he doesn't feel the same way. Maybe he's just being extra nice to me because he feels guilty about what happened. Well, he shouldn't! I was trying to save his butt when I got hurt...he's got no reason to feel guilty over this. And if he doesn't feel the same way about me that I do about him...and I tell him how I feel...he's just liable to stay up here forever. But...if I don't tell him...how will I know? And, would I want to go through the rest of my life knowing that Hawke and I could have had something together, but I didn't have the guts to tell him how I felt? Well. If he doesn't have the guts to do it...then I will. I'll just tell him how I feel, and hope for the best. Smiling to herself, Caitlin began planning out exactly how she would tell Hawke of her feelings towards him.
That night, Hawke went upstairs with Caitlin, which surprised her. "What are you doing, Hawke?" she asked him.
"Cait...I'll go back downstairs if you want me too, I just thought—" He left the sentence hanging in the air.
"I know, Hawke. And...I think I'd like that," she answered him, and tried her best to smile. "It makes me feel better when I can listen to your heartbeat...when I know you're okay. Makes me think...that this is all going to be okay," she continued as Hawke helped her get ready to sleep.
"I certainly hope so," Hawke replied honestly as Caitlin laid her head against his chest. "Good night, Caitlin," he said.
Well, here goes, Caitlin said to herself, taking a deep breath to try to calm her nerves. "Good night, Hawke. I love you," she whispered, causing Hawke's eyes to snap open. Did she just say what I think she just said? I wonder if she even knows she said that, he asked himself. Maybe she got hurt a little more than the doctor thought she did, he reasoned as he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
Caitlin, meanwhile, was fully aware of what she had whispered to Hawke as she dropped off to sleep. I know I said "I love you," Hawke...and, I meant it. I know...I wanted to be able to see before I told you that, Hawke...but, I can't help it. I love you...so much. The question is, how do you feel about me? About us? I want us to be together, Hawke. In every way. Caitlin had felt this way about Hawke practically since the day she had tracked him down to Santini Air, to tell him about his friend Jimmy's death. Even then, I knew I loved him, she sighed to herself as she fell deeper into sleep.
Hawke, meanwhile, was wide awake, his mind racing after what he had just heard. Caitlin said...she loves me. Ah, why am I so worried? I'll bet she doesn't even know she said it, Hawke said to himself, even as he wondered whether or not he truly believed that. What if she does know she said it...and what if she meant it? I suppose...I suppose I'll ask her about it in the morning, Hawke said to himself as sleep finally overtook him.
"Cait? Did you mean what you said last night?" Hawke asked as he and Caitlin were walking along a trail near the cabin, hand-in-hand. He was relieved that Caitlin had slept through the night, without a repeat of the previous night's dream, but concerned over what he had heard as she dropped off to sleep.
"About what, Hawke?" Caitlin knew he was going to ask her about what she'd said as they went to sleep, and decided to tease him as long as she possibly could. Or, as long as I can stand it, she said to herself with a smile that Hawke didn't see.
"Cait, don't play games with me. I can tell by your reaction that you know what I'm talking about," Hawke gently admonished her.
"You mean about how I feel when I'm listening to your heartbeat? How it makes me think I'm going to be okay? Yeah, Hawke...I meant it," she answered him honestly, knowing that wasn't what he had been referring to.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that, Caitlin...but that wasn't exactly what I was talking about," Hawke said. Caitlin simply grinned and said to herself, I know. Aloud, she said, "What else could you mean, Hawke? I mean, I told you that, you said, 'I certainly hope so,' then you said good night to me, and I said good night to you," Caitlin replied, and fought to keep the grin off her face.
"Go on," Hawke prompted.
"Go on, what?" Caitlin asked, playing dumb, but wondering just how much longer she could keep up the facade of ignorance. Just by his tone of voice...I can tell he knows that I know what he's talking about.
"Go on, with what you said right after you said, 'Good night, Hawke,' Hawke answered her, growing a little more irritated. I can't believe she's playing dumb with me...she knows what I'm talking about...I'm sure of it.
Caitlin paused for a minute, then wrinkled her brow as if she was deep in thought. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Hawke," she told him, but the grin she'd been fighting to suppress finally broke through, and she said, "Hawke, I can't tease you like that. I know exactly what you're talking about. I said, 'I love you.' And, I meant it. Hawke...I have loved you ever since the day I came to Santini Air looking for you," she continued, a sense of relief flooding her now that her secret had been revealed. I've just been so...so frustrated, because I don't know how you feel about me.
"Caitlin...why didn't you tell me this before?" Hawke was genuinely dumbfounded at the words he'd just heard from his close friend. And, it makes what I want to tell you that much easier, he said to himself.
"Oh, Hawke, I dunno. I mean, you're so consumed by this curse you think you have...yeah, Dom told me all about it. The curse you think you have that anyone you love, or might love, will die. Well, Hawke...I didn't die after getting hurt the other day...even though I can't see...I'm still alive. And speaking of Dom...he's been with you since you recovered Airwolf from Moffet, and he's still alive. Why can't you just accept the fact that what happened to your parents, and Kelly, were accidents, for Pete's sake?"
"Okay, Cait...I'll give you what you're saying about my folks, and Kelly. But what about Saint John? And, most important..." Hawke couldn't finish his sentence.
"You mean about Gabrielle, don't you, Hawke?" Caitlin queried him. "Yes, Hawke. Dominic told me before about what happened with Gabrielle. I don't think that was your fault, either. This Moffet was crazy, at least from what Dominic told me, and he would stop at nothing to protect what he wanted, which in this case, was Airwolf. I think Gabrielle would have died even if she hadn't been involved with you," Caitlin continued, oblivious to the enraged expression Hawke wore. "Hawke, I'm sorry. That came out wrong." She held her breath waiting for Hawke's reaction. I wouldn't blame him if he hated me for sayin' that—I know how much he loved Gabrielle...as much as I wish he loved me.
"I know what you meant, Cait," Hawke answered her, once he felt like he had calmed down, "and, you're right. Dom told me the same thing. There was no way Moffet knew about Gabrielle and me. Gabrielle told me as much before she was captured—that Moffet stole Airwolf and took her to Libya so he could do exactly what he wanted with women."
"As for your brother, Hawke...we don't know that he's dead. I know, you feel like you left him back there in 'Nam...but didn't you tell me that he all but ordered you to go? He was trying to save your life, Hawke...and the lives of the rest of the guys on that chopper, and he knew that waiting for him was putting all your lives in danger, so he made a decision. And, when we find him, Hawke, I'm sure he'll tell you the same thing," Caitlin concluded.
"Caitlin...how did you get so tough?" Hawke asked, incredulous.
"Hawke...I have three brothers...plus my older sister who acts like another brother...and I've known you for two years. I had to be tough...and besides," she continued, grinning impishly at him, "didn't anybody ever tell you that we Texas gals are notoriously hard-headed?"
"Not until you just did, no," Hawke replied, smiling down at her, even though he knew she couldn't see him. "But," he added wryly, "obviously, not hard-headed enough." His statement brought a smile to Caitlin's face. "Thank you, Caitlin. Thank you, so much," he continued, drawing her into his arms and embracing her. "Cait...there's something I've been wanting to tell you ever since I saw you at the hangar that day...and, I'm tired of ignoring my feelings," Hawke said, and Caitlin felt his arms tense.
"Hawke, it's okay. You can tell me," she replied, and Hawke could see her anticipation shining in her eyes.
"Okay, then. Caitlin...I love you, too." There. I said it, Hawke said to himself, even as he felt Caitlin's arms tighten around his neck as she pulled herself closer to him. He returned the embrace, but when he pulled back to kiss her, she stopped him. "Hawke...if you don't mind...I want to be able to see you when I kiss you for real...okay?"
"Okay, Caitlin," Hawke replied with an inaudible sigh of relief. That gives me some time, I guess.
"Hawke? Can we go back inside? The sun is really hurting my eyes," Caitlin said, then stopped as she realized what she had said. "Why would it be hurting my eyes? Unless..." She had half-closed her eyes to protect them from the sunlight, and when she opened them, she realized something. I can see...sort of, she said to herself in amazement. Okay, it's not perfect...but it's a lot better than it was two days ago. "Hawke? I think...I think I need to get to a doctor," Caitlin told him, and Hawke immediately turned them back towards the cabin, stopping only to get Caitlin's aviator shades, which were almost identical to his own. Then, Hawke called Dom and asked him to come up and get them.
Two hours later, Caitlin sat in the exam room of one of the FIRM's clinics, while a doctor checked out her eyes. After a few minutes, he told her, "I think you're going to be all right, Caitlin. What happened today was exactly what you thought it was—your vision is coming back. Your brain was bruised when you had that concussion...and, like any bruise, it swelled. And that swelling is what affected your vision. You should be fine, but, I do recommend wearing the shades whenever you're around light until I can check you out again in a few days," he concluded.
"And, I'll be able to see?" Caitlin asked him, not quite ready to believe what he had said.
"I can't say for sure there won't be any impairments...come back in a few days, and we'll check you out then, okay?" Caitlin nodded and thanked the doctor as she put her shades back on and Hawke took her hand, leading her out of the exam room.
"Cait? You okay?" Hawke asked her as he took her hand.
"I think so, Hawke. The doctor said...he said my vision is coming back...but, I'll be wearing the shades for a couple more days, just to be safe."
Thank you, God, Hawke said to himself, then realized what he had thought. Well, this is a miracle...I guess, he said to himself wryly. Aloud, he asked, "Does the doctor think there will be any lasting effects?"
"He said it's too early to tell, Hawke," Caitlin answered him. "We'll need to come back here in a few days, and hopefully, I'll know more then." Hawke nodded and the two of them left the clinic, headed back to Santini Air, and then home.
As they rode back to the cabin, Hawke thought to himself, That's a relief. Cait's going to be all right...which means, she'll be able to leave pretty soon, and go home. That thought decidedly depressed him. I can't believe I'm thinking this...but...I don't want her to leave. The time she's spent here with me has been the happiest I've been in a long time. I know Dom noticed it...and, I'm pretty sure she noticed it, too. But, I don't want to rush anything. We'll see what happens.
That night, as she lay in bed listening to Hawke's heart beat, Caitlin found herself thinking, I don't want to go home. Whatever happens...I want to stay here, with Hawke. He's been happier these past couple of days than he's been in a long time. And, so have I. Now that we know how we feel about each other...this should be my home. At that thought, a smile crossed Caitlin's lips as she slept.
A few days later, Caitlin woke up, and noticed something as she sat up and glanced around the cabin. I...I can see! And, it's not blurry like it was a few days ago...and, my head doesn't hurt anymore. It's...it's over. She glanced down at Hawke, just as his own eyes opened and he looked up at Caitlin, surprised to see her smiling down at him, and he thought to himself, She looks like...like an angel. And she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
"Morning, good-looking," Caitlin said with a smile. And, he is the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, Caitlin said to herself. It's like...like I'm seeing him again for the first time.
"Cait? Are you okay?" Hawke's brain was still trying to come online, and he couldn't fully process what Caitlin had said.
"Hawke. I can see you! And, my head doesn't hurt anymore," Caitlin said, and Hawke noticed tears forming in her eyes. Slowly, Caitlin lowered her head down to Hawke's, and very gently, kissed him. After a few seconds, as her eyes slowly closed, she noticed Hawke begin to return the kiss, and she knew that everything was all right.
Finally, after they separated, Caitlin said, "I told you, when I kissed you for real, I wanted to be able to see you."
"Well, I hope it was worth it," Hawke said with a smile as he sat up.
"Oh, yeah," Caitlin replied as she slid her arms around his neck. "It was definitely worth it." Then, she made a decision. It's now or never, she told herself, and, once she'd gathered her courage, she looked at Hawke and said, "Hawke, I've made a decision. I want...I want to move in here, with you." She gazed hesitantly into Hawke's piercing blue eyes, not sure she could read what those eyes were trying to tell her.
"Cait, are you sure? I mean..." Hawke was cut off when Caitlin kissed him again, and this time he allowed himself to match her passion with his own, until he felt himself begin to lose control. Whoa...red light, Hawke, he told himself sternly as he broke the kiss.
"Hawke? What's wrong?" Caitlin asked him, worried.
"Cait...if you're sure you want to stay here..." Hawke noticed her expression, and smiled broadly, "then I have only one thing to say. Welcome home." Caitlin hugged him fiercely, but something nagged at her mind. He didn't answer my question. Why did he stop?
"Thank you, Hawke," she said through tears of joy. "Don't you think we should..." She noticed Hawke was already up and on the CB radio, asking Dom to come get them. "Dom'll be here in about a half hour," Hawke said, "So we'd better get dressed."
Two hours later, Caitlin was back in the FIRM clinic, and the doctor was finishing the checkup on her eyes. "Any blurriness, double vision...headaches, anything like that?"
"Nope, nope...and nope," Caitlin said, grinning. "Does that mean I'm okay?"
"As far as I can tell, yes, Caitlin...you're okay. Just try to be a little more careful when you jump next time, all right? Next time, you might do some serious damage," the doctor said with a grin as he wrote a few notes on her chart. "You'll come back and see me if anything changes, right?"
"Yes, Doctor," Caitlin said with a grin. "And, thanks."
"You're welcome. Take care of yourself."
As she walked out to meet Hawke, Caitlin said to herself, I will. And, Hawke will take care of me, too.
"Well? What did the doctor have to say?" Hawke was understandably both curious, and worried, but then he noticed Caitlin hadn't put her shades back on. She must be all right, Hawke said to himself, relieved. This could almost make me believe in God, he added with a wry smile.
"He said I'm fine, Hawke," Caitlin said with a grin. "Everything's back to normal," she sighed as she wrapped an arm around his waist, and felt his across her shoulders. "So, can we go home, now?" She looked up at him with a familiar grin.
"Sure, Cait. Let's go home," Hawke said as he squeezed her against him. Together, they walked out to the Jeep they had taken from Santini Air. Once they got back to the hangar, Dom immediately wanted to know how things had gone with the doctor. Caitlin smiled and said, "Dom...everything's all right." Dominic embraced them both, relieved that the ordeal was finally over, and then Hawke and Caitlin took a chopper back to the cabin.
"Hawke, I never realized how beautiful this place is...until I couldn't see it anymore," Caitlin said after they'd landed. "I really love it here...especially being with you. And, I know I said it before, but just so you know...I love you, very much," she stated firmly.
"And, I love you, Caitlin," Hawke answered her just as firmly. "I will always love you." Then, as an eagle circled overhead and cried out its approval, he kissed her once again, before they headed inside.
"By the way, Hawke...you never did tell me why you stopped kissing me this morning," Caitlin pointed out as they finished the dinner dishes.
"Oh...that. Well, um...it's like this, Cait...I was beginning to feel..." Hawke stopped, embarrassed at exactly what he had felt. And, what I'm starting to feel again, he admitted to himself.
"Hawke...are you telling me that you were...um...that you wanted to..." Caitlin tried to ask him, but felt just as embarrassed, especially when she realized that the area between her legs was growing warm and wet. I have a strange feeling of my own, Caitlin thought to herself, and something tells me that his feeling and my feeling will match perfectly.
"Yeah, I was, Cait...and, I did want to...and, as long as we're talking about that...there's something else I need to tell you about," Hawke replied, and began telling her about the dreams he'd been having, and how they had led him to take even more stupid chances than normal, like the day they went after Krueger. "So you see, Cait...you wouldn't have even been in that situation if I hadn't been having those dreams. I just wanted to tell you...that I'm sorry," Hawke said with a sigh.
"Hawke...I told you before, it's okay. And, I have to tell you something...I've been dreaming about you, too. Maybe not quite the same dreams that you've been having...but, ever since that day you kissed me on that movie set..." Caitlin didn't need to finish her sentence—she could see Hawke's reaction in his eyes, and she knew her decision had been the right one. Although I have to admit...I like the dreams he told me about, Caitlin said to herself. Especially the last one. I can't believe it...he actually dreamed that we got married! Well, I hope it comes true...soon. And, if I have anything to say about it, Caitlin thought to herself, as her heart sang, it will.
Smiling, she offered her hand to Hawke, who took it and allowed her to pull him towards the stairs to the bedroom. Before they started up the stairs, Caitlin saw the concern in Hawke's eyes, as if he were asking if this was what she truly wanted. She smiled suggestively, and said, "Just to let you know, Hawke...I want you, too..." and gave him her best impish grin as she led him up the stairs. As they moved into each other's arms, the eagle flew over the cabin again, and cried approvingly into the night sky.