9/17/2011- I have not written fanfiction in years, nor even held the same interests over time. Having already moved out of the house and across the country on my own now, I can't help but look back on these days and laugh. Anyway, I wrote this when I was about 11 years old, but I think it has managed to stand up pretty well for what it was. Maybe someone will enjoy it even after nearly a decade.
I hope someone will.
The completely Random Adventures Of:
Yu-Gi-Oh! (Midget-O! and Friends)
In: Show and Tell
October 15, 1492 The-day it, happened: Show and Tell day…
(Cue random clapping)
Honda: This is my purple-wonder-cliff named Steve!
Varon: But it's not very purple….
Dartz: Or wonderful…
Honda: (Lip trembles) Y-yes he..is!one1!
Teacher: (sighs and pushes random student off of Steve.) Next, please.
Malik: (holds up a rock with a crude sharpie-drawn smiley-face ) Minna, this is Cassandra- more commonly pronounced Steve le Purrpel Wundere Cliffe- my rock, slash (slashes some kid with Sennen rod) girlfriend!
Everybody: Woo. Yay.
Teacher: …Next….. (Winks at "Cassandra" as Malik walks by) Hey, babe, let's you an' me get together sometime.
Malik: (walks faster) Come on Cassandra, you can do better than him!
Cassandra (Steve le Purrpel Wundere Cliffe): …
Jounouchi: 'K guys. Diss is the most awesome game in the world! (Holds up box) Australian Life! (gives a cheesy grin and a thumbs up as Australian Life Theme plays)
Australian Life Box: (In fine print) Not a parody of Life. (In finer print) Warning!: Do not take any of the cards [unless packed in Australian Life box] to Australia or they will COME TRUE! Dun Dun Dunnnnn….
(Bell rings)
Everybody: Yaay! Recess!
Yuugi: Let's play Australian Life! ! (gives a cheesy grin and a thumbs up as Australian Life Theme plays….again)
Seto: YEA—Ok…I guess…
Jounouchi: Awright!
Honda: (pets Steve) Yeah, we want to play too!
Malik: (Holds up Cassandra) As do we!
All others who will most likely be in this "story": Us too!
Jounouchi: Yes! (Sets up Australian Life) Who wants to go first?
Varon: Midget face-Yuugi should.
Yuugi: (is oblivious to the first part of Varon's comment) Ok! How…?
Jounouchi: Pick a color.
Yuugi: (glances at Honda's cliff) Purple!
Jounouchi: Yuug…. I meant of the ones that the little cars are colored…
Yuugi: Oh… (Stares at the little cars and thinks...really hard…) Australian!
Jounouchi: That's not a—Never mind, you're blue! Jeez.
Yuugi: (rolls dice) Yay! Twenty!
Ryou: Yuugi-kun….there are two dice…and you only rolled one…
Yuugi: Yeah…and?
Ryou: You rolled a three.
Yuugi: Oh. (Looks at game spaces) Uhhh. (Takes off his shoe and sock to count) One….two…5…seven…2wenty9—
Seto: Good god! (Takes Yuugi's game piece and moves it three spaces)
Everybody (excluding Yuugi): FINALLY!
Yuugi: Hmmm….. It says to pick up a card! (Picks up card.) I get a baby!(Puts little peg in the car)
Jounouchi: Awright! My turn! (rolls dice) Seven! (moves his green car seven spaces.) Oh, annnd I get a card! (picks up card) It says…I'm going to box a kangaroo…that'll come inna box….?
Honda: My turn! (he already put Steve away) I roll….a one… (moves car forward.)
Seto: I guess I'll go… (rolls a 12 and move the little car) Eh…I get a card… (picks it up) It says…umm… (in flawless accent) "I get a husband, mate!" … Heeey…..Darn it!
Mokuhba: Haha! The card is challenging your masculinity!
Seto: Shut up! You're not supposed to know big words! That's what I pay your teacher extra fo—nevermind…
Mokuhba: Your words have greatly confused my state of mind.
Seto: Darned strait, mate!…er…Goodie.
Mokuhba: Umm…. (rolls dice) Two…(moves car two spaces forward)
Some turns will be...assumed...as this is taking all night…
Yuugi: (rolls) I got a….
Ryou: Seven…(Moves Yuugi's car)
Yuugi: Wee! (picks up card and goes silent….his smile disappears) DINGO ATE MY BABY! WAHAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!
Bakura: (comforts him)
Varon: He really did love that baby….
Yuugi: Oh well…I'll have a real one soo-oops…
Yami: What was that?
Yuugi: Ehh…. You know the stuffed dog from across the game shop?
Yami: Yeah….(to himself) Oh heck yeah. (back to Yuugi) Aibou…Did you touch Jhonnie—I mean—it?!
Yuugi: Uhh….no… But he hooked me up with this rat, see and well…You'll be 'Uncle Yami' soon.
Everybody Else: (Slowly backs out of the room)
Yami: (blinks) Nani….? How soon is 'soon'?
Yuugi: Well…seeing as it was a rat, I'd say…tomorrow.
Yami: …erf…(faints)
Yuugi: (sighs and drags Yami off screen)
/Fade out/
The Next Day at the Turtle Game-shop
Yuugi: (is cradling his baby…AKA giant mutated midget-rat hybrid) Aww…. He's so cute! Yami! He has your eyes!
Yami: That doesn't make any sense! And its eyes are just little black beady thingies!
Yuugi: Now you take that back before he cries!—Oh—she…
"Baby": (gurgles and makes other assorted terrifying noises)
Yami: Fine, fiiine…. What are you going to name i—her?
Yuugi: I…don't know yet….Give me a while! You ask so much of me! (cries)
Yami: Er—You—But I—oh forget it… (walks off upstairs)
Rishid: (rings doorbell) Hellooooo?
Yuugi: (stops crying and opens door) Umm….for one…How did you ring a nonexistent doorbell…. And for two…Hey whaaaddya want? (dorky grin)
Rishid: I don't know how I rang the-OH BLOODY RAH! What IS that? (points to "baby")
Yuugi: (defensively) That's my baby! …and I don't mean the copyrighted show on Animal Planet….
Rishid: Umm….riiiiight….Anyway, Master Malik wanted me to give you this. (hands Yuugi a letter and leaves) Freak…
Yuugi: Huh? (puts "baby" in its "crib"/box and reads the letter)
Letter: Dear…erm…whoever gets this one. Me [Malik, duh. Oww! Isis! Stop hitting me!] won a trip to Australia! Isis says "Is that ironic or what?"… I'd answer her…. But I don't know what 'ironic' means…Do you know what it means? Huh? FINE don't tell me! …Jerk-off…Oh-! Anyway, I decided…well…actually Isis deci-Ow! Knock it off!—to invite alllll of my "friends" to come along… If you wanna, [please don't—OWW! Jeez!] come to Yuugi's house…tomorrow…Where ever that is…Oh wait! I know where it is! Rishid! Rishid, guess what! Fine! Be that way! What? What do you mean that's a coconut on a stick? WHERE'S RISHIIIIIIIID?—Umm… This is Isis…what Malik wanted to communicate was that he somehow "won" a cruise to Australia and...well…I thought it would be good for his friends to come along…So, tomorrow at Yuugi's. Bring anything you plan to take.. Sincerely…. Well…I think you know by now…
Yuugi: Oh my Rah! I've got to get stuff to bring to Yuu—ohhh….Never mind… (Re-cradles baby….)
The Next Day…In the Same Place…
Dartz: Yes! I get first-scene-dialogue! I'm gonna say so mu—(piano falls on him)
Varon: (exaggeratedly dusts hands off) Well, that solves that problem.
Ahem-Anyway, Where's Malik? Isn't he running this thing anyway?
Malik: (is standing directly in front of Varon) Where do you think he is? I haven't seen him in soooo long….(cries)
Bakura: (comforts him)
Malik: (huggles Bakura)
Bakura: (whacks Malik with a stick) Off.
Malik: Aww….
Seto: ….Where'd you get a stick….?
Bakura: Silence! Foolish mortal! (Eats stick)
Mokuhba: Why…did you do that…?
Bakura: Where else would I keep it? In my pocket, my stick-case? What kind of idiot are you?
Ryou: We…have a stick-case…?
Bakura: No. I have a stick-case.
Random Percussionist: I've got a stick-case!
Bakura: Quiet you! (Stabs and stuffs body into his empty stick-case)
After a while of waiting for people to show up, etc…Let's just say…they all left…
On the Ship, mate…
Captain: (is looking at Yuugi's "baby") So…Is it a bloke, or a Sheila?
Yuugi: (gets all sparkly-eyed) Sheeeeeeilaaa….(stares into space)
Captain: Right…. Have you been drinking the sea-water like I told you not to?
Yuugi: Ummm….maybe….nooo….
Captain: (raises eyebrow)
Yuugi: (looks down shamefully) …Yes…
Captain: …Well…all right then…. (goes back to "captaining" )
Dartz: (After somehow managing to get on board whist in a full-body cast) It hurts…Sadly, no one could understand him through the bandages…)
Then suddenly:
Captain: Oh no! We've struck an ice-burg! The Cinatit is going down! We'll have to loose weight fast if we plan on survival! Quick, everybody! Throw all your unnecessary items overboard!
Within mere seconds, the passengers made their life and death decision…
Dartz: (gets tossed off the Cinatit) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (he begins to float towards shore, but then, unfortunately, and odd gust of wind catches in one of his many bandages and he floats out to sea…) So close…and yet so far away…(gets eaten by the last thylacine on Earth) Owwie…
Seto: Poor Dartz…he never stood a chance…Well…after we threw him off, anyhow…
Mokuhba: A moment of silence….Hey… What's for lunch?
Captain: We're still sinking!
Honda: We're all gonna diiiiiiieeee! (Cries) I love you Steve! (hugs his cliff)
The cast all dived overboard and swam to shore...which, ironically, the boat had stopped on anyway...
Jounouchi: Heey... We didn't need to toss anything overboard... We're inches from land...
Varon: Meh... Dartz had it coming.
Jounouchi: Yeah, I guess you're right...
Yami: (looks around) Guys... we may be on shore...but we're in the outback…
Ryou: The outback? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We're -..-med…
Yami: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees! Very!
Honda: Oh no! Quick, we must build shelter! We don't know how long we'll be here! We'll also need to learn to hunt! Otherwise we'll have to revert to cannibalism soon!
All: Gaspeth!
Seto: Dibs on Mokuhba!
Malik: No way! I want 'im!
Mokuhba: Don't I get a say on this?
All: NO!
Varon: People, people! Calm down! We haven't even been here five minutes yet! Surely we can find something more scrummy than Mokuhba!
Mokuhba: I am both relieved and outraged!
Bakura: Quiet you! (pretends to stab)
Mokuhba: Fine! I'm going to get myself something to eat! (storms off)
And so the others began to build shelters…and try and learn to hunt…Eventually, they caught a wombat, and a pigeon…
That Night…
Yuugi: (is sitting by the large fire with all the others, and is stuffing a pigeon into Sheila's mouth) Eat it up, Sheila!
Sheila: (gurgles and swallows the thing whole)
Ryou: Yuugi-kun…your baby scares me…a lot…
Yuugi: Shuddup! You're so mean! (cries)
Mokuhba: (is roasting marshmallows; he's got a huge bag of them…somehow) Mmmm…..squishy, burnt sugar….
Seto: Hey… When did you get back here?
Mokuhba: SILENCE! (Sets a burning stick on Seto)
Seto: (catches fire and runs off screaming) AHHHHHGGGHHH!
Jounouchi: (shakes head as he watches the burning Seto disappear into the night….) Alas, this trip has already claimed two victims…
Ryou: And it seems to have doubled your thinking capacity, Jou-kun!
Jounouchi: Oi! Shuddap!
Ryou: Or…not…(sweatdrop)
Shortly afterwards, they all went to bed…
Three Hours Later…
Yuugi: (wakes up to check on Sheila) It's hard on the sleep cycle to be a parent…(notices an odd yellow dog standing over the "baby") Oh look Sheila! You made a friend!
Sheila: (makes creepy rat-midget mutant noise…)
Dingo: Shouldn't 've taken that card out of its box, mate!
Yuugi: What…? (reaches in his pocket and pulls out a card…An Australian Life card!) Uh-oh… (reads) Dingo eats your baby…(gulps) No! Not Sheila!
Dingo: That's right, mate! (eats Sheila) Gotta run! (takes off)
Yuugi: (lip trembles) DINGO ATE MY !
Varon: Great….we'll never hear the end of this….
Bakura: (comforts)
Yuugi: (cries)
In the Dingo Den
Seto: (sits in back of den, waiting for the dingo that "rescued" him to come back…)
Dingo: (walks in and nuzzles Seto, then barks something to him) Bark, bark bark, Seto, bark.. (Translation: Hi, Seto.)
Seto: (barks back) Bark. Bark woof Australia bark. Bark bark different language bark? (Translation: I'm not sure I like Australia…And can you speak a different language?)
Dingo: (nods) Ore-sama sprechen Sie Australian, mate! (But they are still barking this…)
Seto: Thanks. Now what?
Dingo: We wed.
Seto: What?
Dingo: (pulls card out of Seto's pocket) Read.
Seto: (reads) It says: "You get a husband, mate!"…uh-oh…
Dingo: (nods)
Seto: (tries to run out of cave, but is blocked by a wall of dingoes at the entrance…) B-but- You don't understand! I can't marry a dingo!
Dingo: (snorts) What? Now I'm not good enough for you?
Seto: N-no...it's not like that…I mean…I just don't think I'm ready.
Dingo: Sorry, mate. You brought the card.
Other Dingoes: (bark the wedding march)
Seto: (cries)
Dingo: (puts ring on Seto's finger and licks him) By the way, my name's Butch.
Seto: Wonderful…
The Next Morning…
Yuugi had finally got over his "baby" being eaten by a dingo. The others were all too thankful for it, too.
Malik: We survived the night! Hurrah!
Varon: Yaaay!
Mokuhba: (has marshmallow goo on his mouth) Hey, who's that? (points to somebody driving up in a jeep with a rather large crate in the back)
Rishid: That is a good question….
Jounouchi: Maybe he's here to save us! Yaaaay!
Ryou: Somehow I doubt it…
The jeep pulls up in front of them.
1Setoryartz: (looks at a paper, his pinkies held up 'to be fancy') Package for a…Jounouchi Katsuya? [The little subtext 1 is a footnote, which you can find at the bottom of this document]
Jounouchi: Ooh! That's me! (Hops up and down)
Setoryartz: (pushes crate off jeep and drives off, his pinkies still held up in the air) Cheery-oh, mates…
Malik: Now that's class… (Holds his pinkies up as well)
Jounouchi: I wonder what's in this thing… (Stares at crate with "Boxing Kangaroo" written on the side…)
Yami: Jounouchi…I wouldn't open it if I were you… (Glances at the card that Jounouchi had dropped. It read: "You'll box a kangaroo that'll come from a box, mate!")
Jounouchi: (opens crate) Aww….it's a kangaroo, guys!
Kangaroo: (punches him in the face)
Jounouchi: Oww! Hey pal, who d'you think you're messin' with, huh?
Kangaroo: (balances on its tail and kicks Jounouchi in the stomach)
Jounouchi: (weezes) Owwie…. (falls over)
Kangaroo: G'dday then. (hops off)
Jounouchi: (on ground) He hurt me on the outside, and the inside! (sucks thumb)
Back with Butch and Seto…
Seto: I really, really should be going back to the others now.
Butch: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're a part of the family now, you can't just up and leave!
Seto: (cries) You'll never understand my needs!
Butch: (looks guilty) Umm…Well, I guess you could go back…I mean, we aren't exactly a great match… I'm just too much dingo for you to handle.
Seto: (hugs Butch) Bark bark woof, Butch! (Translation: I'll always remember our time together, Butch!)
Butch: Me too. Now go on, get out of here. You don't belong.
Seto: (nods and leaves) Bye, my lo—er—dingo! (blows kiss before running back to where the others were.
Butch: (sniffles) I'm gonna miss that little guy…
Bakura: (comforts)
After the others had helped Jounouchi a little, they all sat boredly around their fire pit.
Ryou: I've never been so bored before….
Honda: I've never been so hot before!
Mokuhba: I'm always this hot—oh… heat hot, not…eheh…never mind. I wonder when Seto will be back… (Eats marshmallow)
Malik: Namu…
Isis: Quiet you! (Whacks Malik)
Malik: Owwie…
Seto: (comes running up with some other guy) You'll never believe who this is!
Mokuhba: Try us.
Malik: I don't believe it!
Ryou: Malik-kun, Kaiba-kun hasn't said who it is yet…
Seto: (glances at Malik oddly) Err… yeah… Anyway, it's Future Mokuhba!
Mokuhba: That's stupid! I'd never do my hair like that!
Jun/Chaz/Future Mokuhba: Actually, it is true.
Mokuhba: Pfft! Yeah right! Prove it!
J..: (proves)
Mokuhba: Holy crap! He is!
Seto: Told you!
Everybody Else: (walks away from "Three Kaibas")
Mokuhba: So, what am I like in the future?
J..: Well…for one your hair is more spikey…And then you'll be much better at dueling….Oh, and you'll have a posse. (nods sagely)
Mokuhba: Oooooooh….Oh yeah, do I decide to keep my name as Mokuhba, or do I decide to change it?
J..: Change it.
Mokuhba: Really? To what?
J..: Uhh…well, some call you Jun, and some call you Chaz…
Seto: (laughs and points at Mokuhba) Hah! Looser! You're name's going to be Chaz!
J.: (also laughs)Yeah! Haha! You're name's gonna be Chaz! Dork! Hey, wait a minute…
Mokuhba: Haha! Your joke failed!
J..: (growls and tackles Mokuhba) I'll kill you!
Mokuhba: I am you! (Gets tackled) Oww! (Starts strangling Future Mokuhba)
Seto: Mokuba! Stop killing your future right now!
J..: (coughs) Yeah! What he said!
Mokuhba: Oh…fine…(lets Future Mokuhba go)
J..: (disappears in a blinding white light)
Five Hours Later…
Now that everyone was back, they all sat around the now lit fire pit.
Ryou: I'm starting to wonder how much longer we're going to last out here…
Seto: (barks) Bark bark bark, mate!—Ahem—I mean, "No worries, mate"-I mean… Yes. We're all going to die here…..(coughs)
Ryou: ….Wow…that was….comforting…
Seto: Meh. (Shrugs)
Mokuhba: (eats the last of his marshmallows) Awww…darn!
Seto: Hey…Where did you get those anyway?
Everybody Else: Yeah, where?
Mokuhba: Over there, right next to the free five-star hotels, of course! Where else would I get them? (Points to a rather large city less than three hundred feet away…)
Seto: Wow…
Bakura: Erk…(eye twitches)
Yami: (faints)
Ryou: (cries)
Honda: (jumps off of Steve)
Varon: (stares blankly)
Malik: (walks off toward city with Rishid and Isis)
Mokuhba: What's everybody freaking out about?
Yuugi: (gets crushed by giant rocks that spell out:
The End, mates!
Steve Irwin: G'dday. I'm here to tell you all something very important.
In this story, you have read a lot of stupid things. (Some of them, in an Australian accent). But now you probably are asking yourself; "Are all semi-gay dingoes named Butch?" The answer is no. While it's true that many semi-gay dingoes are, in fact, named Butch, not all are. Saying that they are, is racial profiling. And that's wrong. Also, it is important to conserve these beautiful animals' habitats. If we keep taking away their gyms, YMCAs, and other such natural environments, we may soon loose a very critical part of the Dingo ecosystem. So remember, save a semi-gay dingo; build a night-club.
1 Ryou Marifuji from Yuugiou GX. He looks like an odd combination of Seto, Ryou, and Dartz. Thus the name "Setoryartz".