((Authors note: Hello! Thiis is my very first published work, so if there are some mistakes, cut me some slack! hope you enjoy this! :D it took a lot of time so far. oh and there may be trigger warnings in the future, but Ill say which chapters they're in. Well anyways.. I ramble.))

One month. It had been one month since Annabeth failed Percy. One month since she escaped from Tartarus, while he stood his ground and fought.

Since then, she has began doing things that she would have never considered before, even as a demigod with a terrible life. But with a fatal flaw like pride, when something damages it, it's nearly impossible to recover. Her not being able to save Percy and escape had sent her over the edge. Her self esteem had dropped even lower since they had been separated, and she had begun doing anything to deal with the emotional trauma of losing her love. Eventually, she began to cut.

The others didnt know what she had been reduced to of course. Around them she acted as confident as ever, putting on a fake smile and acting like they were close to finding Percy. She gave them advice, told them about what happened in Tartarus, minus what she had done and how he had gotten lost, and talked about what they were going to do next to find Percy.

Once she was alone, however, she suffered silently, thinking of how she could have saved him. Thinking of what she'd do if they didn't find him, or worse, if they found him dead. Once she got thinking too much, she'd break down In tears, and grab her razor to dull the pain once more. Thinking logically wasn't on her mind (for once) when she cut. It was pure instinct, like her body was going on auto pilot. Each time she did it, she'd regret it immediately, but she couldn't bring herself to stop. It was the only way to overcome the pain of losing Percy, the only way to overcome the flashbacks and lighten the lead like feeling inside her gut. Every moment she spent without Percy was worse then crossing Tartarus with him could EVER be.

This morning was just like any other, she woke up from her flashback in a cold sweat, tears running down her eyes. She sat up and rubbed her wrist, feeling the dull pain that she was now used to. Walking over to the mirror, she threw on a sweatshirt and grabbed her hairbrush. She ripped through her tangly blond hair and washed her face with water from the sink. When she rinsed off her face, the water smelled salty, almost like Percy. the thought of his smell just made her more sad. she missed him so much it was unbearable. She scolded herself for thinking about him again. She wasn't about to cry, she wasn't. Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door.

"Annabeth? It's eleven fifteen. Are you alright in there?" Piper's voice called from outside of her cabin.

Annabeth plastered on her usual fake smile and opened the door.

"Yeah I'm alright, sorry. I was just... just.." She trailed off, then frowned a bit, ashamed of herself for breaking down in front of piper. "Thinking," she stated solemnly.

"About Percy?" Piper asked softly, clearly trying not to seem harsh or assuming.

"Yeah..." Annabeth sighed, "it's just.. What if we don't find him? What if he didn't make it out like he promised? I don't know if I can live without him."

"We'll find him, I know it. Percy is a strong and amazing guy, he's probably out there looking for us right now," she said soothingly and confidently, clearly with a bit if charm speak in her voice. It worked somewhat, and made Annabeth feel a little less dreadful then before.

"Maybe you're right.. It's just, life without him is terrible... It's even worse then last time. I should have stayed with him. I at least would have been with him still. I'm a disappointment. What kind of daughter of Athena messes up her plan? I'm A failure of a demigod.." She drifted off. She realized that she hadn't opened up to any of the others this much yet. She didn't know why, but she felt like now was a good time. Besides, she trusted Piper more than anyone else on the ship. If anyone understood boyfriend troubles, it was Piper. Even so, she didn't want to mention too much, she didn't want to seem weak.

"You did what you had to, if you wouldn't have come to find us and warn us, we all would be dead right now. And besides, like I said, if anyone can survive through this, it's Percy. besides, if he were gone, dont you think Hazel or Nico would have sensed it? Don't worry Annabeth, we'll find him, I promise." What she said was most likely true, but Annabeth still felt hopeless and empty. Plus, if they figured out what really happened, Piper may not be saying those things about her doing what was best. She smiled again, trying to make it seem real.

"I guess you're right," she sighed. "Lets go eat breakfast, I'm starving."

"Good idea, everyone's been waiting for you," Piper replied, putting her arm around Annabeth in a comforting manner. "To breakfast we go!" She said, pulling a still miserable Annabeth along with her.