Somewhere in this vast and mostly useless world which we call Earth lays a beautiful island kingdom that is, for some inexplicable reason, called Chimera. Throughout the island's entire existence, it appears to be unaltered by the effects of modern times, adapting the influence of technology with their old traditions to create a harmonious world that, to a visitor to the island, would not notice. The island kingdom, with its European mythical medieval setting and camouflaged technological influence, is hidden far away from any noticeable transportation device, including airplanes. The only known access to the island is through a port that stands within 200 miles to the south east edge of Japan, which does not make much sense since the setting of the island comes from halfway around the world…

Anyway in this kingdom lies Princess Emily Kimiyama, otherwise known as Zukin Emily, a seriously jovial girl who, through the knowledge of manufacturing traditional candy handed down by her parents, has managed to be an influential part in the island society. As to our knowledge, except for the beaches, trinkets, little villages in the mainland and the occasional mermaid sighting around the port, her business is perhaps the only resource that is fueling the economy around the island. The title of princess, however, is not one of hereditary gain. She chose to take the name after gaining ownership of the company, not to mention that she is the spokesperson to the company and being called Queen just did not sound right to her. Zukin has had a very personal role, however, with the ruler of the island, Prince Richard, or as he is just known by his subjects, Rick.

The island itself is flowered by lush fields, immense forests, a seaport that takes the manufactured sweets to Japan and other places all around the world, and more mystical medieval clichés than you can put into an Excel Saga episode.

Of course I am not Koshi Rikdo, and Excel Saga has nothing to do with this story… the whole point of the story is what happens when a marriage is screwed as a result of tainted candy.

So therefore, in the spirit of the Quack Experimental Anime: Excel Saga…

The (completely original) Disclaimer…

I, Vincent Voltaire, hereby acknowledge that I am making a Dance Dance Revolution fan fiction short story using the characters in, but not exclusive to, the Dance Dance Revolution game, and that I do not have ownership of the game or its musical counterparts. In the event that the owner of the game, Konami Computer Entertainment Japan, disallows any act of fan work, including fan fiction, for whatever reason, I will remove this, and all my related DDR works from the internet, because I have no cash to defend myself and I do not wish to be involved in an "Andamiro" class lawsuit. (Signature stamp)

And screw the obligatory intro… we are pressed for time so we are going right to the plot.

It was June 22, and throughout the entire morning, there was nothing but sunshine and humidity, not to mention it was 90 degrees in the shade and everyone in the port kept seeing mirages. The humidity was later dropped down as a result of an oncoming thunderstorm.

Zukin took complete advantage of the weather and went out of her 47 room Victorian mansion that is built into a steep hill just to bask in the rain. If it was colder, she would have thought differently. Sirius Chamberson, Zukin's ever loving assistant and "baka" mallet provider to the "princess," looked outside to see the girl dancing around like a decapitated chicken. "Princess Zukin, can you explain why you are dancing around in the pouring rain?" He said. "You are going to catch a cold, and then we have to send in Dr. Tomo to cure you… again."

"Come on." said the princess. "Can't you have any fun in your life? All you just do is add this and multiply that. I mean, I know life is hard with my parents' fortune and their mysterious disappearance last winter, but I can't just sit around and worry about the business twenty four seven. I'll end up falling apart."

"Ok, but considering that you are currently one of the richest people in all the land, not to mention you were on "Fortune 500," you have to understand that we can't have you sick. Who is going to take charge of the business, not to mention the 47 room Victorian style castle that took about 6 months to complete? I'm still wondering how we finished that fast."

"Prefabs," she added. "But that is beside the point. Come outside Sirius, it isn't going to hurt you."

As a result of the infamous laws of the universe, a random lighting bolt shot through the sky and landed somewhere on the field. "I take that back. I'm going back inside." Zukin quickly went back inside the mansion before the weather got any worse.

If a visitor of the island should happen to gain entry to this quaint castle, you would start to wonder if she should really squander her money like this. For one thing, there is an entryway into the castle with a glass ceiling throughout the entire path. It works as both as a resting area, and a place you can hang you clothes, although it has been known to be very sensitive to the weather, so it can either get extremely hot or extremely cold depending on what the weather is outside. Beyond this pathway lies the main room corridor. From this point, it branches out to two paths. Each of these paths encircles the entire mansion, which touches all the rooms in the first floor. Also added are a pair of stairs that goes up to all the other rooms, leading up to the sunroom and balcony on the 6th and final floor.

Upon entry to the main room, she picked up a pair of letters that were sitting around on an end table. Zukin took off her signature red holiday cap and began to read them as Sirius got her some new clothes. "Bill, bill, fan mail, anti-trust suit …oh a letter from Rick." Zukin took her handy letter opener and opened it.

Dear Princess Zukin,

You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Prince Rick of the Chimera Island Kingdom to Princess Sherry of the Viansiunt Ocean Colony. It is with great interest that you would come and attend this glorious occasion as a guest of honor.

Ten seconds after reading that note, all the windows within the vicinity of Zukin's voice shattered. "Why does that lowlife princess clone have to come over and mess things up for me? I was supposed to marry that knight!"

Sirius took note of her scream and rushed to her. "Zukin, what happened?"

"It's Rick." She said in an excitedly angry tone. "She spoke to Princess Sherry all the way from the Ocean Colony and he proposed to her. Damn it! I was supposed to do that! What does this woman have that I don't? In fact, what is it with that woman? She is just your generic Princess clone who is clueless to the world and I am this jovial multimillionaire with a passion for cosplaying! What has that princess ever done that…?"

Sirius got a bucket of water and dumped it on top of her, calming her down quickly. "Thanks, Sirius. I needed that."

"No prob." Zukin sat down to a nearby chair while Sirius got some more towels. "So anyway, why do you have this issue with Princess Sherry?"

"Well, if you must know, I have been talking with Rick for the past year or so about the business, and over time we've developed this business relationship that benefited not only the island but also each other. Over time, however, I have been finding this guy more and more interesting, and quite amusing. It's almost like I could have a serious relationship with him."

"Well, duh. This is Prince Rick, ruler of this island and one of the world's most eligible bachelors. I really think that if he would want to spend the rest of his life with someone, the Sirens would be after him in a second."

"True, but why did she chose Sherry? I don't understand. All that she has is the colony, and ever since it was converted into a floating city, she has had no significant power whatsoever. Something is wrong, and I am going to find out why."

Zukin got up from her seat and went behind the stairs leading up to the second floor. "Sirius, there was an ancient candy formula that my parents told me about that can paralyze a person's taste buds for a week. I have been looking into this formula for quite some time in case we were ever forced to reveal my family's secret recipe. Now I hoped that I would not have to resort to this." She pushed a button on the wall which opened a hidden door that was imbedded in the wall. "Sirius, would you care to join me?"

"Princess Emily Zukin, I can understand if you are extremely jealous of Sherry for being Rick's future wife, but if you are going to try something drastic like poison the water supply or replace M&M's with Skittles…"

"Sirius let me explain something: I am not fucking jealous! I am just merely balancing out the universe for personal gain." She went down the stone staircase leading to the cellar of the mansion. Sirius shrugged his shoulders, and chuckled. "Denial."

Venturing deep into the heart of the mansion's cellars, Sirius saw some very unusual things that he would never expect from the CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation. Among the items that are scattered are ancient and medieval weaponry from all across the world, miniature sculptures of mythical beasts and creatures, Zukin's "hidden" clothing stash…

"Baka!" Zukin quickly got her mallet and knocked Sirius silly. "Don't ever look at those things, Sirius! You don't want to know what they are."

The path eventually ended to a heavy wooden door. "Sirius, the path ends here. Once I go through this door, I am not going to guarantee the effects of what I am about to show you will do to your sanity."

"Don't worry. I've seen the entire Excel Saga series, so I am perfectly fine."

"…O.K." Zukin said.

            Without hesitation, she opened the wooden door. Beyond the door lied your standard clichéd mad scientist laboratory, complete with bubbling beakers and a dissection table overlooking the coastline of the island. Zukin walked over to one of the beakers and showed the sapphire colored liquid to Sirius. "This is the complete formula. With one drop of this caustic liquid, it can debilitate anyone's taste buds to nothing, thereby making foods unpalatable and create severe halitosis."

Sirius slowly walked away from Zukin, realizing that she may have finally lost her sanity. "Zukin, do you realize what you are doing?"

Zukin turned around with a sinister smile. "Sirius, I know. HAHAHAHAHAHA 'cough'."

"Are you all right, Zukin?"

"Oh sure, I'm fine." She said in her completely normal voice. Sirius worry became a lot worse.

The next morning, Zukin and Sirius went straight to the seaport, waiting for the royal couple to show up. The port, being the only place where resources can go in and out of the island, is very busy, complete with tourists, inns, the market, and a mysterious bronze sculpture of a woman on her knees looking out to the ocean. Today, the environment was considerably busier with the arrival of the prince's new bride.

Sirius awaited the arrival of the couple with concern. That concern was directly related to what Zukin could do. "Zukin, explain to me what is this big plan of yours."

"O.K, as I told you yesterday, a long time ago, my ancestors created a substance that was so caustic, it virtually burns the taste buds of the victim that eats it. What I didn't tell you yesterday is that it was actually used to confuse rival candy corporations into believing that was our secret recipe for making sweets."

"Was it Nestle, Mars, or Hershey?" Sirius said.

"I'm not sure. I think it was Philip J. Morris. Anyway, the way to create this formula is to use all the nastiest and most disgusting items known to the human world and add one drop of each to the elixir. Then you add the final ingredient, pure Coralati, and add it to the formula, thereby creating an extremely paralyzing… "

"I know what it will do, Zukin. You've said at least five times since we left the castle." Sirius said, finishing Zukin's sentence. "Here is what I do not understand." He added. "What does the oceanic compound Coralati have anything to do with it?"

"Yes. That." Zukin looked around to see if there is a place to talk quietly and then she guided Sirius to that spot, which ended up near an alleyway behind an electronics guild owned by the very famous Emi family. "No one is going to hear us around here, the owners of the guild know us well enough to ignore us." Zukin assured Sirius after arriving at the spot. "What I am about to tell you is a family secret that must never be told to anyone. You must swear on your life that you shall never reveal…"

"That the secret ingredient of the candy made in the island is Coralati and that there is an exceedingly abundant supply of it on the island."

Zukin was quite surprised and annoyed. "How did you figure out the secret ingredient to the family treasure? You knew all along what the chemical Coralati does, didn't you?"

"Yes, your parents told me everything before they disappeared, and I know all about the substance. Apparently, this coral substance causes a reaction within the natural sugars of organic materials, thereby amplifying the potential flavor of anything it touches, so good food becomes great food and bad food becomes an excuse to use Pepto Bismol."

"You've done your homework." Zukin congratulated him. "Now after adding a lot of chemicals and what I told you yesterday, it will overload the taste buds of the victim, numbing them to nothing. The taste buds will recover over time, but for the time being, the victim will be unable to taste anything, thereby causing mass hunger and severe halitosis due to the bacteria that will eventually grow from it."

"How is that going to affect your vengeance scheme?" Sirius inquired.

"Very simple, I tell the princess to try this candy which I have in my hand. She'll take it, have her mouth numb, develop bad breath and the prince will deject her in a week."

"How are you so sure this plan will work? What if the prince is too gullible to fall for such a stunt like that?"

"At least I am trying." Zukin said, as a crowd was beginning to form at the port. Quickly, the two raced down to pier 12, where arriving on the scene was an exclusive 60 foot royal yacht that came from the Ocean Colony. The two knew exactly who was going to come out of the boat.

Because Princess Zukin was a well known and respected person on the island, she went directly to the pier to assist them in docking without being restrained by the authorities. Sirius on the other hand, was stopped upon entry to the checkpoint. "Oh, come on, Captain Akira, don't you realize it's me? I'm always with her."

"Yes, but you are not her. Correct?"

Sirius shrugged his shoulders in disgust as he went back to the crowd with all the other commoners. Zukin on the other hand, went up to the yacht and met the couple up front and personal.

The first to depart from the yacht was Prince Rick, who was more than glad to return to the island. The first person he saw was Zukin herself. "Hello, Zukin. It has been a while since I have seen you." He said.

Zukin, attempting to hide the jealously that stems from her emotions, responded kindly. "Hello, Rick. I see that you have returned from the long voyage out to sea, no?"

Rick smiled at Zukin's cheerful disposition. "Emily, you're still the same as always, ever cheerful in your manner."

"I agree." Zukin's eyes looked at the image of Prince Rick, with his long, bishounen hair style and gallant manner, and upon first glance, she still had the same feelings that she had from when then first met. But, behind him was another person; one that Zukin despised for taking him away.

"Zukin, I would like for you to meet Princess Sherry of the Viansunt Ocean Colony." The Princess came out of the boat and onto the pier, possessing the most cliché princess getup in all of history. For starters, it was very pink with a style that would be very similar to Princess Peach in the Super Mario games, except her dress looked extremely conforming on her shoulders. Furthermore, the crown on her head and her snooty behavior completed the entire ensemble. "Zukin is your name, isn't it?" She asked.

"Why yes, yes I am."

"It is an honor to see you, Zukin, a master of candy making throughout the entire world; alas such love doesn't come often to us." Sherry's response struck a nerve with Zukin, as if she knew about the relationship she had with Rick.

The three walked down the pier as Zukin tried as much as she can to reaffirm her place in Rick's heart. Sherry did the exact opposite; trying as much as she can to prevent Zukin's advances. Neither one was succeeding.

When the three got to the end of the pier, where a royal limo was waiting for the couple, Rick turned to Zukin. "Zukin, I've been discussing this with my fiancé and, after agreeing with each other, I would like to ask a favor of you. I want to ask you if you would help us."

"Oh, really?" Zukin said with a very romantic manner, enamored by Rick's charm. "You need my assistance, Prince Rick?"

"I would like you, the self-entitled Princess Emily Zukin, heir to the Zukin candy making tradition, in helping me, Prince Rick, ruler of the Chimera Island Kingdom to plan the wedding ceremony for me and Princess Sherry of the Viansunt Ocean Colony." The way that he said it got the attention of virtually everyone in the entire port.

In the fifteen seconds that she had to decide, she thought quickly about how she can regain Rick and ruin Sherry at the same time. It took another three to say yes.

Later that night in her house, Zukin was sitting on the couch, exhausted on how much effort it took her to plan a royal wedding, especially since she hated the bride and how she kept disagreeing with her planning. On the plus side, Sherry wanted to try some of Zukin's famous candy that she has heard so much about, so she gave her the piece that was laced with the caustic formula.

"I don't know how long that planning ceremony went, but I am so fucking glad that it's all over, Sirius."

"Zukin, can't you just accept it and move on? She's going to be marrying someone and that is that." said Sirius, bringing in two raspberry ice teas in tall glasses on a tray. "Maybe there are other people around in the island that are better than the prince."

"How do you know about love? You never even had a serious girlfriend that lasted a week."

"That is so true." Sirius shrugged his shoulders in shame. Zukin apologized for acting like that. "I didn't mean it that way. I know how it must feel to be rejected so many times in a lifetime."

"True."

"But with Sherry, I say nay. I have given Sherry the caustic candy for her to taste. Within the hour, her mouth will become sore and disgusting, and I will finally get Rick back again…"

"That's great." Sirius said. "Just one thing I would like to know. What happens if Rick should take the candy instead of Sherry?"

"You know I never thought of that… oh no!"

An old 20th century rotary phone with touch tone keys began to ring. Sirius quickly got the phone and within the first few moments, gave it to Zukin. "Zukin, its Rick. Something happened to me. I took a piece of that candy you gave to us and now I can't taste anything. My mouth is tasteless. Help me!"

"Oh dear."

            The very next day, Prince Rick and Princess Sherry went to Zukin's mansion in the hopes that there could be an explanation as to the reason why Rick's mouth suddenly went flat. In Rick's mind, he knows that Zukin could never cause something like this to happen on purpose, but with his mouth temporary disabled and developing halitosis from the bacteria accumulating in his disabled taste glands, Sherry was doing all the talking, and she though differently of Zukin.

            At around 9:12.23 am, the limo arrived at Zukin's mansion. The weather was a calm 80 degrees as Zukin, tanning herself on the balcony of the 6th floor noticed the limo drive up to the walkway. Immediately, Zukin went down, got her signature festive suit on, minus the cap, and went downstairs to greet the couple. Of course, in the effort to hide her true intentions, she made sure to hide all traces of the notorious candy from the mansion, and to place a fingerprint touch pad on the hidden slot leading to the cavern so no one would ever suspect it was her.

            "Zukin, what are we going to do?" Said Sirius, moving as quickly as he can to hide and destroy the evidence, which was not necessary in that order.

            "Stay calm, Sirius. All we just need to do is explain that something went horribly wrong with the manufacturing process." She quickly sealed the doorway into the cellar so that no one would notice and gave Sirius the keys to the Subaru Impreza. "What I need for you to do is call up the manager and tell them to fake an accident. No one is to get hurt, and we have to make it real, even if we are attempting insurance fraud. Meanwhile, while you head to the factory, I will give each of them a legit candy piece with the antidote."

            "You made an antidote to the formula?!" Sirius questioned.

            "Oh sure, I made it as a back up plan in case something like this happen. That should restore the universe."

            "Oh, sure, correct an already suspicious problem by causing another. Zukin, I don't know what you hope to achieve by doing this…"
           

            "Relax, now get to the factory, post haste, while I'll handle "Miss Prissy Pants" here." Sirius turned around and went out the back door to the garage.

            Sherry was the first one to leave the limo, followed by the royal bodyguards and Prince Rick, who by this time was suffering from a severely dry mouth because of an unexpected side effect which affected his salivary glands and his vocal patterns for that matter. Sherry had her suspicious as to what caused Rick's sudden oral condition, and those same suspicions were aimed directly at Zukin.           

            Zukin answered the door to greet the couple, along with their royal bodyguards. "Hello, come on in." She said in her sweet voice. "Do you need anything?"

            "No, this will only take a minute. We have to attend a meeting with the members of the council, and this was on our way." Sherry said to Zukin, trying to silence her quickly."

            Quickly the two sat down on the couch. The bodyguards stood at all the open places of entry for security reasons, but it was more designed for blocking Zukin's potential escape routes. "Now, Zukin." said Sherry. "I need to ask you something. I am quite aware that your family is perhaps one of the greatest candy makers in the world with the creation of one of the purest, tastiest, and downright heavenly chocolates, lollipops, caramel pieces, and sweeteners. Throughout the candy company's history; you have not once disappointed anyone, and throughout the history of the company, not one has ever gotten sick of eating only a single piece… until last night, where Prince Rick has suddenly fallen ill with this unknown disease that our doctors cannot figure out its origins."

             "Now, I want to know if that piece that you gave Rick was filled with some sort of oral poison, because not only can he not talk, he cannot eat because nothing tastes good, nor speak properly, nor sleep due to his extremely dry mouth. Can you explain that to us?"
            Zukin took the floor and explained the situation. "Princess Sherry, I can assure you that there has been nothing wrong with the candy that I gave you two. When I heard Rick explain his problem on the telephone, I quickly began to find out what happened during the manufacturing process. Right now, I have my associate, Sirius, investigating the situation as to what caused the horrible candy. In my family's history, we have never had anyone sick as a result of someone just taking a single piece of candy, and we have kept very strict standards as to the quality of our products. In fact, I would like to prove this to you." She went over to a locked cabinet sitting alongside a wall, opened it with a key, and took out a silver box. "This type of candy was going to be given especially for the wedding reception as a present. However, since you are already here, I might as well give it to you." She placed the box on the table and opened it, revealing numerous items of sweets: chocolate, caramel, nougat, rainbow lollipops, and other notable sugar items. "Take one. I am sure that you will find that I am not hiding anything."

            "How are you so sure?" said the suspicious Sherry.

            "It is common sense, Sherry. Rick's royal family has always been kind to the Zukin's since his family took control of the island. The opposite is true when it involves my family being loyal and kind to Rick's so therefore this candy will be as good as any other. Take one."

            One by one, the royal bodyguards, and the couple themselves, each took a piece of the candy. Zukin did the exact same. At the same time, everyone who had a piece, including Rick, who was willing to try anything to get his taste buds back, ate it.

            Everyone who took a piece of candy and ate it became mesmerized and in a state of euphoric sensation, except Sherry, who for some reason was unaffected at the taste." I don't see what is so great about this candy."

            "What?" Zukin was amazed at this response from Sherry. "I don't understand. What are you trying to say Sherry?"

            "What I am trying to say is that it seems like it tastes the same as all the other candies that I have tasted in my life."

            "You really doubt the potential of Zukin's candy?" said Rick, who's voice appeared to seem almost coherent.

            "Rick!" Sherry went up to him and hugged him in relief. "Thank god you are back to yourself again. I just don't know what I could do without you. You are everything to me." Sherry went on to explain so many romantic love references to Rick that it left Zukin in a nauseating disgust.

            With the Prince's mouth working again, the couple and the bodyguards left the house in happiness. However, as she went into the limo, Princess Sherry took one look at Zukin, who was standing at the front door of the mansion. She looked at her with a very jealous look in her eye, and knew that somehow Zukin was hiding something that the royal family did not pick up.

            A few minutes after the couple left, Zukin quickly made a phone call to Sirius at the factory. "Sirius, its Zukin. The operation is a success. The antidote worked like a charm."

            Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. "At last, something is finally going your right. Remind me not to get involved in your schemes again."

            "Anyway, just to be on the safe side, keep the manufacturing scheme as a back up in case there is a surprise."

            "O.K. but I'm not sure we would want them to go to the factory just yet?"

            "Why?"

            A loud explosion was heard from outside. Zukin went outside and looked in the general direction of the factory, which was now exhibiting a plume of smoke and flames. "Sirius, imitate damage control protocol 101."

            "What the hell is protocol 101?"
            "F… everything and blame it on 'Let Them Move.'" The ambiguity of this question created a stall in Sirius's brain.

            A week later, Zukin was inside the underground lab, overlooking the ocean that was setting across the sky, and feeling blue for that matter. Just that morning, Zukin heard on the local news the announcement of the official wedding date of Prince Rick to Princess Sherry. Upon hearing this, Zukin fell into a deep depression, and, when news reporters visited Zukin's home to discuss if there was going to be any change in the business as a result, she refused to show her face in the public eye, having Sirius to deal with negotiations.

            Sirius, who has been keeping tabs with Zukin, noticed her decline in her general jovial nature. In the three times that it rained, she has not once done her usual "dancing in the rain" routine. For the sake of concern, he went to the only place where Zukin could possibly be: the hidden laboratory.

            One day during sunset, Sirius went downstairs to the lab to see if she is feeling any better. Upon his arrival at the laboratory, he realizes that she isn't the Zukin he knew. Tattered in drab black clothing and holding a blue locket in her hand, she looked out to the infinite sea. "How long have you been here overlooking the sea?"
            "Ever since they announced the date in which Rick is going to marry Sherry. How long has the media wanted to see me?"

            "Four days." said Sirius. "Come on, Zukin. Seriously, do you think that they are actually going to go through with this wedding?"

            She didn't respond.

            "Well?"

            "Every since my parents disappeared in an oceanic voyage six months ago, I have never been able to live normally. I thought that maybe if I married Rick, I would be able to forget about what happened, but now…" Sirius tried to reach up to her, but was coldly stopped by Zukin's hand. "Please Sirius. I would like to be alone for a while. I just don't know what to do…" Sirius, against the wishes of his own belief, followed what Zukin said.

            That night, while Zukin stood sitting in a chair that overlooked the night sky, she felt that someone had entered the hidden door panel into the lab. Assuming that it was Sirius, she called out for him to leave. "Sirius, if you are there, you can just leave the food in the doorway. I'll pick it up later." There was no response. Again, Zukin tried to call Sirius, but there was no response. Finally, Zukin went up to the wooden door to see what was going on, but upon opening, there was no one there. Assuming that she was seeing a ghost, she calmly closed the door and returned back to her seat.

            As she looked at the night sky, Zukin's mind was on Rick. About everything that she thought about him was perfect in every stature, and that there was not a single flaw in him. Every time Rick touched Zukin's face, it felt gentle. Every time Zukin touched Rick, it felt warm, and every time they somehow got into an argument, they would always settle, although one of the few arguments that they ever had was over Zukin's house.

            The gaze of the night created a feeling around Zukin; one that slowly drained all her energy to the point of unconsciousness. Just before she was about to though, she heard someone speak from across the floor. "It's a beautiful night, isn't it?"

            Zukin, in shock, looked around in from her chair to see a familiar princess sitting across from her spot. "Princess Sherry, what are you doing here?"

            She answered in the same manner that she had with Zukin when they first met. "Enjoying the night sky from one of the loneliest spots in the entire island; Zukin's hidden laboratory."          

            "O.K, but that doesn't answer my question. How did you find this place?"

            Sherry, in an unusual and somewhat intimidating fashion, went up to Zukin and spoke in a very high pitch voice. "How did I find this place? Let's just say a certain friend came over and told me the location. I think it is your companion, Sirius, no?"

            "Sherry, what did you do to him?" Zukin demanded.

            "What did I do to him?" Sherry asked. "Silly Princess, it was easy. It is what he did to me."

            "I don't understand."

            She lowers her voice back to normal. "He worried about you, Zukin. You were down here so sad and alone, as if you lost everything, so he invited me over to, in a sense, "settle" the issue between me, Princess Sherry, and you Princess Zukin. He told me anything and everything about you, and I know it all; the Coralati chemical, the relationship you had with Rick, even your missing parents." Sherry walked over to the window. "You know it was so easy to persuade that man. Such men are so easy to amuse and influence; those men who journey the world and the oceans, seeing not a single woman for a long time, and then hearing me, the great singer of the sea, quell their ever-loving cries for their mate back home."

            Where have I heard this type of speech before? Zukin wondered in her mind.  I think I know who or what this woman is, but I cannot actually believe that they really exist, unless… "Sherry, can I ask you something?"

            "By all means." Sherry said, going back to her seat and sitting in a nonchalant fashion.

            "What are you going to do now that you have figured out what I wanted to do to you?"

            "Zukin, I believe it is not what I am going to do you, it is what Rick is going to do after I persuade him that you were going to steal the world's supply of Coralati for your own gains!"

            "What?"
            "This whole island is flooded with the organic substance that grows from its many reefs. Rick not only knows what the substance does, but has placed strict environmental control over development on the island. With you out of the way, I will have a complete monopoly of not only the island, but as a result of the dual ownership with Prince Rick, your family business as well."

            Zukin's journey into the mystery of Sherry was almost complete. She needed just one more clue to identify who Sherry really is. "One more question I would like to ask you. How did you know I was using the chemical Coralati when I gave the individual pieces to the two of you?"

            "Simple, a woman like me can taste such things, and I knew for a fact that the one you gave me had a paralytic poison, so I merely switched my piece with Rick. Alas, he had to suffer so that a woman who can touch the corals that she creates can get her…"

            "Ah ha!" Zukin yelled, revealing who she really was. "You are not even a human at all are you, Lorelei the Siren?"

            "Well, I wondered when you would figure that out."

            "The mythical Siren Lorelei; I seriously thought that you were a myth from a Germanic poem. Now I know that you exist, hypnotized both Rick and Sirius in passing your deeds, and in some weird clichéd fashion, want to take over the island."

            "Not really, I just want the Coralati and the throne, but if you put it that way…"

            Note to self: don't place ideas into your enemies' brain. Zukin thought in shame.

            "Alas, you will not see the ceremony and my takeover. I have already placed a time-delayed tip to the police. In twenty minutes, they will march in and take control of the house, and you will be held under arrest for attempted regicide in the 1st degree."

            "Regicide? What are you talking about? That candy was made for you and…"
            "Ah, you confessed."

            "Shut the hell up, all right?"

            "Why don't you shut the hell up? What is really going to stop me in my plans?"

            "This!" Zukin took out a gun and without looking shot Lorelei. The force placed on the bullet threw Sherry out of the window and into the ocean below. "The bullet of justice caps evil's ass! Remember that!" She dropped the gun and started to chuckle a bit. "God I love that line!" Then she remembered what Lorelei said and, without any hesitation, Zukin ran up the cellar stairs to the main floor.

            When she got up there, she saw Sirius tied up half naked and gagged on the couch. Zukin went up to him and freed him of the bonds. "Zukin, I finally understand what you were trying to say about Sherry. I now hate that son of a…"

            "Not now. We have got to get out of here. That princess reject called the cops and accused us of regicide. I'll get these bonds out of you, but then, get the "silver suitcase" and meet me in the garage."

            "You mean we have to take the emergency suitcase?! This is just brilliant! Just when I am about to finally get out of one problem, I get stuck as an accessory of a crime to another one."

            "Just shut up and get the case!"

            "Ok." Quickly, Sirius got up to the library on the 3rd floor, and went behind one of the bookcases to reveal a silver suitcase that, for a while now, has accumulated a significant amount of dust around it. Making sure that it was unopened; Sirius got the case and went straight for the garage.

            Once Zukin and Sirius got in to the garage, the matter of finding a proper getaway car seemed very problematic. "All right, we need to be inconspicuous here. We can't take the Impreza because that car was caught in the factory explosion and is being repaired. We can't take the limo, because that takes too long to drag out and is lousy on getaways. We can't also take the Z8, the Maclaren, the Vanquish, the Corvette, the X5, the Mach 5, the specially built F1 two seater, or the Viper; they would find it in a second with the tracking systems we have installed."

            "Lousy satellite security system! It never works when you want it to." Sirius cursed out. "What about that '86 Sprinter Tureno we jacked from Fujiwara Takumi?"

            "The Initial D car? Got re-jacked by his dad, Bunta! And forget about our Lan Evo VII. Last years flood fried the electrical systems."

            "Wonderful! I guess we have to take that old '83 Honda Accord sedan that was not damaged during the flood."

            "Sadly, yes. It's the only one that refuses to take any security system we put on it."

            The two quickly got in the Honda Accord and opened the garage door. In about five seconds they were on the main road and they were out of the mansion, and in about five minutes later the cops arrived at the scene, but they were nowhere in sight.

Candy Crush: The DDR Three Shot

Part 1: Jealously Backfired in the 4th Degree

Status of Operation: …Unsure. (It's only part one.)

Questions? Comments? Flames? Why I never got a review when this was originally posted? (Of course that I'm not into much.) You know where to push.