DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything of the harry potter universe. Cover art by *viria13
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"Alright, Mum. I should go now, I have to stop at the prefects' carriage" Lily Evans said as she hugged her mom "I'll see you at Christmas"
"Alright" Martha Evans said "Take good care now, okay? And don't forget to write"
"I won't" Lily replied and pulled back, moving to stand in front of her sister "I'll see you at Christmas, Tuney"
Petunia nodded stiffly and looked around disgusted, like she'd catch something if she stayed there long "Can you go on board so we can leave already"
"Petunia" Ms. Evans chastised but lily simply shook her head. She was used to her sister's rudeness by now. She honestly was surprised her mother hadn't stopped forcing her to come to the platform to say goodbye, Petunia always had something to say every time she did. She hugged her mother one last time before going on the train.
The Hogwarts Express train was crowed as usual, with students everywhere trying to find a compartment they could sit in for the rest of the journey to Hogwarts. Lily made her way through the crowd, trying to get to the prefects carriage.
"Lily!" A familiar voice called out to her and lily turned just in time to manage to hold herself steady before a pair of arms wrapped around her. Marlene McKinnon had been lily's friend since first year when lily had met her in their dormitory. But she had changed so much in six years. Her blonde hair was taller, reaching her waist framing her lovely blue eyes, and a body that every girl would kill to have, lily not excluded. "I missed you. Come on the girls found an empty compartment."
"I can't, Mar. Prefect, remember? I have to go to the prefects' carriage and then patrol the corridors for a bit."
Marlene frowned but nodded reluctantly "Fine, I'll see you when you're done. Okay?"
Lily nodded with a small smile and left, personally she didn't want to deal with her friends right now. They were all great, they really were but she couldn't take the cautious looks they sent her, as if she'd explode at any minute. That's what they did when they visited her after her father died.
Lily forced herself to stop thinking about it once she reached the prefects' carriage, she got in and sat as the head boy and girl told them their responsibilities. Lily listened feeling bored till they were done, as she was leaving she smiled as she saw her friend and fellow prefect Remus Lupin smiling at her.
"Hey, Remus" Lily said as she assessed her friend. Remus had always been thin and tired-looking but upon noticing the dark circles under his eyes were more prominent, he had a few new scars right under his chin and he looked sicker than ever. Lily thought back trying to remember when the previous full moon was and cursed herself for forgetting "I'm so sorry, Remus. I totally forgot"
"I understand, Lily. You had a lot going on. I'm sorry for your loss, I wrote you a letter."
"Yeah, I know. Sorry I didn't write back, I was…busy." Lily played with her fingers, a habit she had adapted a few years back and never failed to drive her mother crazy "Anyway, come on. Let's patrol the corridors"
Remus nodded and they both walked down the corridors. They ran by a few second year students that were trying to scare the first years and sent them about, but other than that they faced no problems. Lily stopped when they reached her compartment and she peeked through the glass to see her Marlene, Mary and Dorcas whispering to each other in what looked like a very serious conversation "I'll just pop in for a few seconds and we'll continue our patrol, okay?"
"Yeah sure, the guys' compartment isn't far from here actually; I'll meet you here in a few alright?" Lily nodded and watched Remus leave, she was about to go in when she heard her name mentioned. The compartment door wasn't completely shut.
"…saw her when we first boarded the train, she seemed normal. Just like she was a week after the funeral when I visited her" Lily recognized Marlene's voice and instantly knew what they were talking about.
"When I visited her mother told me she hadn't even cried, not once. She just helped with the funeral arrangements and helped Ms. Evans take care of the house. I tried talking to her about it, she always just changes the subject" Mary said and Lily could perfectly imagine her furrowing her eyebrows as she usually did when she was worried.
Lily turned away to leave, knowing she couldn't bear listening to their conversation anymore, and ran right into someone, nearly falling to the floor if she hadn't caught herself just in time.
"Blimey! I'm so sorry; I wasn't watching where I was…" She looked up and her heart dropped at the sight of the last person she wanted to see "…going"
Severus Snape, Lily's ex-best friend, hadn't changed much since the last time she had seen him in fifth year. His hair was long, pulled back and greasy. His nose was big and hooked and his skin was as pale as snow. "Lily" he said, his eyes holding that soft look she had only ever seen him give her "I-I heard about what happened, I'm sorry-"
That knocked Lily right back down to earth as she felt her blood boil "Why should you be? He wasn't of any importance, right? He was just a muggle, after all."
"No, lily you know I don't…"
"Do I?" Lily looked up at him, her eyes staring solely into his. She needed to calm down, she had said all she had to say to him fifth year, she couldn't keep repeating herself "Look, Severus, I told you before our friendship is over. It was over the moment you started hanging out with those soon-to-be-death-eaters, I just didn't know it. Now if you'll excuse me…" She said trying to step aside so she could find Remus, finish her patrols and get to school already but Snape had quickly reached out and grabbed her arm, effectively stopping her movements.
"Lily just listen to me-"
"I think the message she gave you was quite clear, Snivellus." His voice was as hard as steel and made both Lily and Severus look up at him as James Potter kept his eyes trained on Snape's hand on Lily's arm "Leave her alone."
Snape let go of Lily's arm and turned around to sneer at the person he hated the most "This is none of your business, Potter."
"Oh, I dunno about that" James said, his eyes meeting Lily's for a brief moment before going back to Snape's. "Now I don't know how many times it takes you to understand but you are not wanted here."
"Don't blame him, James" Sirius Black said, laying a hand on his best mate's shoulder "You can't blame the bloke for being slow. I mean how many times have we told him what a shampoo is? And he still doesn't get it!"
"Alright, shut up! All of you." Lily said interfering before things escalated, which they was always bound to happen when Snape and the Marauders were anywhere near each other. She turned to James first "Potter, stay out of my business, I can handle this myself." Snape smirked for a moment but it quickly faded when she turned to him "And you, Severus. I already told you everything I have to say on this subject. So please, leave me alone." Snape stared at her for a few moments before turning the other way and walking away.
"Is everything alright here?" Marlene's voice came from the compartment door she was previously in and Lily looked up to see all three of her friends in the corridor, watching the exchange. Boy it was getting crowded in that small corridor, lily thought as she turned to look at the Marauders. Remus and Peter, who had been silent during the exchange, were the first to greet Marlene and the others.
"Hello, boys" Marlene said with a grin "hexed anyone lately?"
"Not quite yet, Mar." Sirius answered with a grin "There's still loads of time before we get to Hogwarts. And if you ask nicely, I might even be able to fit you in for a shag" he winked at her and where any other girl would have probably been outraged or embarrassed, Marlene threw her head back and laughed "Keep dreaming, Black."
"Always, McKinnon" Sirius answered and Lily rolled her eyes at these two. They had been flirting and teasing since fourth year, and frankly it was revolting how much chemistry there was between the two. Lily felt eyes on her and looked to see James studying her through his spectacles but not in the way everyone else looked at her, like she was a bomb that would explode at any second, James's stare was calculating, as if he couldn't quite figure her out. It felt as if he was reaching in trying to find all the dark corners of her mind. It was eerie, Lily decided, how his stare always affected her.
"Come on, let's continue patrols" She turned to Remus, needing a way out. Remus nodded and Lily couldn't have been more thankful as they walked down the corridor and away from James's smoldering gaze.
"How is she?" James asked just as soon as Lily was out of sight. Marlene gestured for him to go in the compartment and they all filed in and closed the door behind them.
"She's fine" Marlene stated "We were just talking about it. She's been handling this too well. I mean we all know how close she was to her father, but she's been acting like everything was perfect. And no one can be this okay a mere month after losing their father."
"Everyone has a different way of dealing with grief, Mar." Dorcas Meadows, always the most straightforward and logical person among the group, said, leaning back in her seat. "Pretending everything is great is Lily's"
"But it isn't healthy, Dorcas" Mary objected "She can't keep everything bottled inside like this sooner or later she'll just snap."
"And we'll just have to make sure we're there when it happens." Dorcas stated with a shrug "The way I see it, Lily is always there for us for all our fucked up times, so let's stop trying to fix her and be there for hers."
"Wow, Dora. That's deep" Sirius said with mock emotion "Felt it right in here" he pointed at his heart and Dorcas only rolled her eyes.
"She's right though" James said. He had been silent this whole time, just thinking about Lily. When he first found out about her father's death he had immediately used the floo network to get to Remus's house only to find that his friend already knew and was writing her a letter. So James had watched—rather annoyingly over Remus's shoulder—as Remus wrote the letter, wishing that he were the one to write to her, go by her house, just be there for her. But after the events that occurred after the O.W.L.S. he knew she wouldn't stand to even hear his name mentioned. When Remus didn't get an answer James went to Marlene and when she told him Lily was absolutely fine he was surprised (but then again since when was Lily Evans Predictable in any way?). But James knew that even though Lily appeared calm and collected on the outside, sooner or later reality will hit her and he just hoped that when it did, he'd be there to help her through it, and that she would let him.